Cyrillej1 Posted June 5, 2015 Share Posted June 5, 2015 I guess it's because usually one side is attracted, and that ruins everything. (or if VNs with osananajimi routes are to be trusted it works every time) Do you think, once someone develops feelings or confesses.. that the friendship is ruined? Lemme ask it this way.. If you confessed to a girl, and she politely told you she couldn't return your feelings but would still want to stay friends if you wanted to as well, what would you do? If the friendship did continue, would it no longer be a genuine friendship anymore? It can never go back to normal? Are only 'real friendships' the ones where neither is nor will ever be attracted to each other? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stray Cat Posted June 5, 2015 Share Posted June 5, 2015 Do you think, once someone develops feelings or confesses.. that the friendship is ruined? Lemme ask it this way.. If you confessed to a girl, and she politely told you she couldn't return your feelings but would still want to stay friends if you wanted to as well, what would you do? If the friendship did continue, would it no longer be a genuine friendship anymore? It can never go back to normal? Are only 'real friendships' the ones where neither is attracted to each other? I think you have to end it, it's too painful otherwise and probably would never be the same and lead to suffering on one or both sides. Friendship between opposite sexes can exist when the other party is taken (as long as you're noble enough to respect that) or any other condition that makes them un-datable. Other than that, I would say no, there is always the force of attraction. So yes, the only "real" friendships are when there's no attraction. Cyrillej1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Funyarinpa Posted June 5, 2015 Share Posted June 5, 2015 Do you think, once someone develops feelings or confesses.. that the friendship is ruined? Lemme ask it this way.. If you confessed to a girl, and she politely told you she couldn't return your feelings but would still want to stay friends if you wanted to as well, what would you do? If the friendship did continue, would it no longer be a genuine friendship anymore? It can never go back to normal? Are only 'real friendships' the ones where neither is attracted to each other? Not that I am experienced on these things, but I think you would never have the same closeness again even if you atill remained friends. Edit: Also, it can be hard to distinguish between the affection you feel for a friend and possible love for thrm so that might cause problems in intersexual friendships. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rainsismyfav Posted June 5, 2015 Share Posted June 5, 2015 Confession: As a girl reading this, and have guy friends.. yeah~ it's kinda sad. I hope not all my male friends thought/think that way about me. It goes back to the whole, can guys & girls be just friends thing. If both sides aren't attracted to each other as dating potential, why can't they just be friends (like one of your guy friends)? Of course it's possible for a guy to be friends with a girl. I'm just saying it's my personal preference to not expend too much energy on girl-friends, since guys as a friend, tend to be more fun for me. Needless to say, girl-friends have their own advantages, but sometimes I can't help but have unnecessary feelings towards that friendship (especially if it gets too close). So it's personally hard for me to make close girl-friends. It is pretty annoying for me to be carrying those emotional baggage. Girls also tend to be quite boring to be honest. I haven't yet to befriend a girl that did not share any of my nerdy habits. Overall though, the gender doesn't really matter in friendships if it's only about "fun". I approach friendships with "fun" in mind. If I want to get deeply close to a girl, I might as well have it be with an actual girlfriend, instead of just a friend. By the way, I can't really get deeply close with guys.. It's not my nature to share my inner-self with fellow males. Problem starts when I have fun with a girl-friend and I start being conscious of the difference in gender. Fun + Attraction... kinda breaks a friendship. I'd somehow have to treat her like a sister or something... which I'm not very good at since I have no sisters. Cyrillej1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eclipsed Posted June 5, 2015 Share Posted June 5, 2015 In my experience and those around me, it's simply not possible to remain "genuine" friends after attempting but failing to sustain a romantic loving relationship. There's just something forever missing in the dynamic and chances are the two don't really want to associate w/ each other anymore (unless they're the break up and get back together 1000x type of relationship). You can be on good terms with each other though of course. As for the lesser case where two individuals were friends, one confessed, and the other rejected (so the two didn't actually get into a relationship) I guess it can be easier to continue the friendship. They have to be super good friends prior though- enough to be able to joke about the rejection and whatnot Cyrillej1 and Stray Cat 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blahblahblahxxx Posted June 5, 2015 Share Posted June 5, 2015 I missed Cyrillej1's pic post, but I knew she was Asian! What?! Cyrillej1 posted a pic of herself and I missed it?? AND Eclipsed? Noooooooo!!! Confession: I hate taking photos. Almost every single photo ever taken of me is unflattering in some way because pictures can't do my wondrous looks justice. Posting on the IRL thread felt so weird, because I ended up just sucking it up and posting the first picture that I took, which I almost never do. Confession 2: I posted my IRL picture in an RP forum somewhere like three years ago and ended up getting a PM from a girl telling me I was super cute, and asking me if I was eighteen... and not to respond if I wasn't. Unfortunately for her, I was seventeen at the time. Totally responded anyway though. xD You mad cute. rainsismyfav and LinovaA 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flutterz Posted June 5, 2015 Share Posted June 5, 2015 Do you think, once someone develops feelings or confesses.. that the friendship is ruined? Lemme ask it this way.. If you confessed to a girl, and she politely told you she couldn't return your feelings but would still want to stay friends if you wanted to as well, what would you do? If the friendship did continue, would it no longer be a genuine friendship anymore? It can never go back to normal? Are only 'real friendships' the ones where neither is nor will ever be attracted to each other? Not "ever", but once someone confesses and get rejected, I'd imagine it becomes rather painful to spend time with someone they like, and they know likes them back, but only as a friend. I might be completely wrong about this though, friendships aren't exactly my strong suit Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crunchytaco Posted June 5, 2015 Share Posted June 5, 2015 I was very good friends with several girls I was sexually attracted to in college. At least half of those were also equally attracted to me. We sexted all night usually after a night of drinking. We'd confess our sexual frustrations towards each other all the time. When it came to it, we'd stop short of sexual contact probably because we knew it'd ruin our friendships. It was such a fun time hanging out in college, I didn't mind passing up sex in order to keep that group nucleus intact. Eventually we parted ways once college was over. Now that I look back, I wish I had just given up the facade and boned all of them. Tyrael and rainsismyfav 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zenophilious Posted June 5, 2015 Share Posted June 5, 2015 crunchy, are you, like, Eros incarnate? You get more action than I'm like to see in a lifetime. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blahblahblahxxx Posted June 5, 2015 Share Posted June 5, 2015 Do you think, once someone develops feelings or confesses.. that the friendship is ruined? Lemme ask it this way.. If you confessed to a girl, and she politely told you she couldn't return your feelings but would still want to stay friends if you wanted to as well, what would you do? If the friendship did continue, would it no longer be a genuine friendship anymore? It can never go back to normal? Are only 'real friendships' the ones where neither is nor will ever be attracted to each other? There's no reason why things can't go back to normal. I'm friends with some of my exes and people I've turned down. Unless someone's world got shattered, it's not really mature to consider the friendship over. Nothing's worth losing a friend unless that friend was an asshole. seriously though, anyone else think LinovaA is a qt? :3 Cyrillej1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flutterz Posted June 5, 2015 Share Posted June 5, 2015 seriously though, anyone else think LinovaA is a qt? :3 Is this love at first sight? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zenophilious Posted June 5, 2015 Share Posted June 5, 2015 Confession: I hate the TV show Bones. Any show that equates having a character get pregnant with real character development needs to go away, forever. Tyrael 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cyrillej1 Posted June 5, 2015 Share Posted June 5, 2015 Confession: I hate the TV show Bones. Any show that equates having a character get pregnant with real character development needs to go away, forever. Confession: I actually really liked the TV shows Bones, and Charmed.... they both had that, lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zenophilious Posted June 5, 2015 Share Posted June 5, 2015 The science in Bones is interesting to me, it's just...the character development is all but nonexistent (aside from one character getting cancer that they've so far failed to actually build on in a meaningful fashion), and any show that has recurring characters needs real character development or things start to get boring :/ I just went downstairs to get something and jokingly asked my sister if another character in Bones was pregnant. She actually replied yes. I somehow managed to resist the urge to bash my head against a wall. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyrael Posted June 5, 2015 Share Posted June 5, 2015 crunchy, are you, like, Eros incarnate? You get more action than I'm like to see in a lifetime. I think Eros would have remembered to use protection, especially when he was boning a married woman Confession: As a girl reading this, and have guy friends.. yeah~ it's kinda sad. I hope not all my male friends thought/think that way about me. It goes back to the whole, can guys & girls be just friends thing. If both sides aren't attracted to each other as dating potential, why can't they just be friends (like one of your guy friends)? That's not what I meant though... I just really miss the intimacy of a relationship and I think I need that a lot more right now than their friendship if that makes sense. I'm not saying girls are only good for dating and nothing else. I hope I didn't make you feel that way at least... It's more like, I've been getting the friendship treatment my whole life and I'm kinda getting tired of it ya know? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kosakyun Posted June 5, 2015 Share Posted June 5, 2015 Confession: The internet is so slow that I can't even finish the doujin that I've been reading for 30 minutes already. Screw you, ISP. Confession 2: I can't open spoiler buttons right now because the internet is that cringeworthy. Confession 3: I hate not being able to participate in something, so I'll spam pics of myself here as well. Of course, they're all NSFW. (NSFW) What? You though I'd have NSFW pics? Sadly, I'm not on that level yet. I'll also put a pic of me with someone that I should've gotten a relationship with, but I screwed up. She was the first one that reciprocated my feelings. Oh well. 'Tis for another day. Bonus child pic: Tyrael and crunchytaco 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kurisu-Chan Posted June 5, 2015 Share Posted June 5, 2015 I think you have to end it, it's too painful otherwise and probably would never be the same and lead to suffering on one or both sides. Friendship between opposite sexes can exist when the other party is taken (as long as you're noble enough to respect that) or any other condition that makes them un-datable. Other than that, I would say no, there is always the force of attraction. So yes, the only "real" friendships are when there's no attraction. I completely not approve this post, once again, i'm going to argue with you, but this time, i won't jump to conclusions or be super mean. You have to understand that not all men are horny pigs that only tries to fuck women, and not all women are only horny only to try to claim handsome guys and fuck them, no sorry, that's not how real human works. I have a big problem with generalization, that statement that everyone MUST act the same, thus, i trully believe in opposite sex friendship, the same way i believe in interethnic friendship, i believe in interreligious friendship, in homosexual friendship...etc But it's true, the moment one of the sides (and i'll say it, it can be the man or the woman, don't believe that only men fell in love with their friend) fall in love, it becomes extremely painful to maintain the friendship, it's possible, but you need time, a lot of time, to heal the pleas and to build a better friendship with more solid bases. Cyrillej1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyrael Posted June 5, 2015 Share Posted June 5, 2015 I completely not approve this post, once again, i'm going to argue with you, but this time, i won't jump to conclusions or be super mean. But I like you best when you're being mean Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kurisu-Chan Posted June 5, 2015 Share Posted June 5, 2015 Confession : when i was a child, i had big anger management problems, it wasn't because i was a problem children, but because i never fell in my place, in my real life, no one ever tried to understand me, and i was alone, for a long, long, long time. Then, i changed, i became a better human being, stoped being angry for no reason, found my place in society and all. But, these recent times, my paranoid persona awoken, and it's poisoning me, forcing me to be mean to everyone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deep Blue Posted June 5, 2015 Share Posted June 5, 2015 Confession: I feel bad knowing that the most important thing that I have to confess I can't confess it, does this count as a confession? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TexasDice Posted June 5, 2015 Share Posted June 5, 2015 speak the unspeakable, confess the unconfessable row row, fight the power LinovaA and Stray Cat 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yuuko Posted June 5, 2015 Share Posted June 5, 2015 Confession: I have been playing VNs like a lot this week thanks to summer break. Super great confession TexasDice 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rabbit Posted June 5, 2015 Share Posted June 5, 2015 Confession: I was browsing the 'cutest image you've seen (including girls)' thread and now i'm super paranoid that there is a spider in my room. Thanks to this one. crunchytaco 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyrael Posted June 5, 2015 Share Posted June 5, 2015 I'll also put a pic of me with someone that I should've gotten a relationship with, but I screwed up. She was the first one that reciprocated my feelings. Oh well. 'Tis for another day. Story time! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
madvanced Posted June 5, 2015 Share Posted June 5, 2015 Confession: I almost died( Teeku) yesterday because I've had my first real sports practice in years, yet I have one today again, I hope I survive. Confession 2: if I ever share a pic here it must be a screen capture that a certain member from fuwa took of me on a skype call, because I don't take pictures at all. I'm too much of an anti-social shut-in to hang out with other people. edit: Inb4 Kosaki asks for a different kind of pic Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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