Not sure if I'm active enough but... there's me! A weird 24 years old nerd girl who loves gaming (huge fan of Shin Megami Tensei and Metal Gear) and chinese power points!
Sorry if this ends up being too long but here goes.
I know I'm pretty much in the minority here, but I really like finding and reading different things. I didn't really started with otome actually, but with battle shounen chuuniges, and I'm glad I didn't stop there. But yeah, I also like BL and otome. I'm just not into moeges, since there's not enough guys story there and recently I learned to enjoy yuri, since it's so cuuuuute! But I'm open to suggestions, you can recommend me anything, I'll at least take a look! I loved Saya no Uta and Sekien no Inganock, and they aren't exactly targeted for girls.
I'm not gonna lie, I like h-scenes just like you guys, but... I usually prefer when I see both participants on screen. I don't really read for self insertion. But this seems to be an otomege thing, since in 18+ otome games you can see the girl. So guess I'm not alone in that opinion.
Now, games target at females... Yeah, people usually think date sims first, but if you dig deeper (like I did, since some years back I disliked otomes bc I thought they're all boring date sims), you'll find some good stuff! Of course, romance and power of love are important sometimes, but some galges do the same right?
From memory, I can recommend Code:Realize, a steampunk game with an useful main character! The boys are really charming and Van Helsing is so like Archer from F/SN, god I'll die. Bocchi Musume x Produce Keikaku is funny and there's some nice ecchi CGs. And Shingakkou ~Noli me tangere~ is a super fucking incredible christian horror plotge, that's very different from your average BL game. And no, I'm not saying it's good bc "IT'S SO HOT KYAAA!", the execution of the plot is what's good, and play it just for porn, well, some of them are way too nightmarish, disgusting or symbolic, so... don't do that.
So yeah, we're different but also alike! Or maybe I'm just weird.