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Confeession: 
Yesterday October-09-2019 I have presentation for my college last test. I made a lot mistake during Q&A part where I should defend(keep up) what I did. But somehow maybe because I'm nervous or I don't know what I am thinking anymore I didn't did what should I do which there's few question specific 2 question I give up(this part where is important where I should never give up even tho I don't know the answer but I still give up in the end without giving a try to do it). even one of the lecturer said to me it'll lower my score later.
So after presentation and Q&A done I feel like I won't pass which I need  to repeat it. But somehow in the end I pass... 

So my friend who close with lecturer have disccusion about meeting who shall pass or not (which only 6 peoples who participate including me) out of 6 peoples there's 3 actually didn't pass and need to repeat that also including me. But because out of pity they let us pass instead. But out of 3 peoples who didn't pass the lecturer said I'm the worse(I heard it not from lecturer itself but my friend) cause I give up instead give a try.

Because of that somehow even I pass. I keep thinking about mistake I made like "I should give a try instead" "why I give up that time" and have lot of negative thinking and bad feeling everytime I remember it. I know its waste of time thinking about stuff happen but damn its just won't go away... 

I have been trying watch some NLP videos few hours ago at least for reducing or get rid the bad feeling or negative thinking about what I made sadly its not working maybe because I'm not focus or what. :notlikemiya: :notlikemiya::notlikemiya:

Worse part I need to fix mistake what I did wrong which I need to meet my mentor who help me do this last test and college teacher who did Q&A with me. I don't know how to face them later on especially my mentor who also join meeting.  :rubycry:

 

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On 9/10/2019 at 12:03 PM, Skypie said:
Spoiler

Confeession: 
Yesterday October-09-2019 I have presentation for my college last test. I made a lot mistake during Q&A part where I should defend(keep up) what I did. But somehow maybe because I'm nervous or I don't know what I am thinking anymore I didn't did what should I do which there's few question specific 2 question I give up(this part where is important where I should never give up even tho I don't know the answer but I still give up in the end without giving a try to do it). even one of the lecturer said to me it'll lower my score later.
So after presentation and Q&A done I feel like I won't pass which I need  to repeat it. But somehow in the end I pass... 

So my friend who close with lecturer have disccusion about meeting who shall pass or not (which only 6 peoples who participate including me) out of 6 peoples there's 3 actually didn't pass and need to repeat that also including me. But because out of pity they let us pass instead. But out of 3 peoples who didn't pass the lecturer said I'm the worse(I heard it not from lecturer itself but my friend) cause I give up instead give a try.

Because of that somehow even I pass. I keep thinking about mistake I made like "I should give a try instead" "why I give up that time" and have lot of negative thinking and bad feeling everytime I remember it. I know its waste of time thinking about stuff happen but damn its just won't go away... 

I have been trying watch some NLP videos few hours ago at least for reducing or get rid the bad feeling or negative thinking about what I made sadly its not working maybe because I'm not focus or what. :notlikemiya: :notlikemiya::notlikemiya:

Worse part I need to fix mistake what I did wrong which I need to meet my mentor who help me do this last test and college teacher who did Q&A with me. I don't know how to face them later on especially my mentor who also join meeting.  :rubycry:

 

At least you did the presentation www

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On 10.09.2019 at 11:03 AM, Skypie said:

Worse part I need to fix mistake what I did wrong which I need to meet my mentor who help me do this last test and college teacher who did Q&A with me. I don't know how to face them later on especially my mentor who also join meeting.  :rubycry:

I feel you, man. I messed up my Bachelor's Degree defence super-hard because my brain kind of shut down from stress. I was also a pretty shitty student back then, but still did WAY worse then my actual knowledge allowed for. The only thing that helped me was that the reviewers pretty much saw I just did so poorly because of how nervous I was. I still get anxious at the sheer memory of it.

The part that makes it better is that I did really well with my master's thesis. You might also have some opportunities to redeem yourself still? In general, no need to agonize over it. It's a learning experience and if your mentor isn't a dickhead he'll treat it the same. :]

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I seem to be too good at growing Snails in my tropical fishtank. While I liked my Ramshorn snails, they multiplied way too fast and became a burden. At least I've gotten rid of 99% of them...

But now, my Mystery Snail (who's been in there all this time), now it decided to lay eggsacks (THREE of them at that!). And now they are starting to hatch. In about the next month, I'm probably gonna have 90 snails hatch in total.

I did nothing deliberate to make this happen. It just happened on it's own.

Heh :sachi:

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Confession: Hello, everybody. I'm back from my month-long break from the interwebs. It was something I decided to do after reading Digital Minimalism and deciding to adopt a more focused lifestyle that doesn't involve compulsively browsing the internet, and so far it's going well! I'm able to engage in more productive activities to cope with anxiety, I'm learning how to avoid information overload, and I'm not allowing myself to be manipulated by new-generation technology.

For the longest time I've been relying too heavily on quick fix life hacks to get my life together, and the book I read suggested that it's not enough to tackle the issues of hyper-connectivity. I need to establish a philosophy on tech so that I can maintain a greater lifestyle balance, and the book has some excellent advice in regards to that. One of those tips involved taking a 1-month hiatus from all optional technology so that I can practice better judgment for when I reintroduce them into my life.

So far, I've decided to drop facebook entirely. I don't feel particularly close to anyone there except for my family, and I can just call them when I need to talk to them. I'm going to strictly limit my use of YouTube to educational use only. I've decided I don't want to use Discord anymore either (sorry, @mitchhamilton!); I just can't bring myself to use it moderately.

I am going to restrict my time on Fuwanovel to 30 minutes and turn off all notifications as well. If I'm expecting replies to something, I'll just go directly to the thread. The issue with notifications is that they invoke addictive tendencies for me, and I just don't want to deal with them anymore. That said, I've gotten so much emotional support here that I just can't bring myself to leave completely. I wouldn't have even gone to therapy if it weren't for this very thread, and it was thanks to therapy that I even managed to start college at all. I still love the community here too. It wasn't hard to decide that I needed this forum in my life, even if it does seem a little odd for a minimalist, lol.

Anyways, I'm happy to finally be back here. I missed you guys! :wub:

(And that's it for my 30 minutes, lol. I'll be back on tomorrow~)

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19 hours ago, Kenshin_sama said:

Confession: Hello, everybody. I'm back from my month-long break from the interwebs. It was something I decided to do after reading Digital Minimalism and deciding to adopt a more focused lifestyle that doesn't involve compulsively browsing the internet, and so far it's going well! I'm able to engage in more productive activities to cope with anxiety, I'm learning how to avoid information overload, and I'm not allowing myself to be manipulated by new-generation technology.

For the longest time I've been relying too heavily on quick fix life hacks to get my life together, and the book I read suggested that it's not enough to tackle the issues of hyper-connectivity. I need to establish a philosophy on tech so that I can maintain a greater lifestyle balance, and the book has some excellent advice in regards to that. One of those tips involved taking a 1-month hiatus from all optional technology so that I can practice better judgment for when I reintroduce them into my life.

So far, I've decided to drop facebook entirely. I don't feel particularly close to anyone there except for my family, and I can just call them when I need to talk to them. I'm going to strictly limit my use of YouTube to educational use only. I've decided I don't want to use Discord anymore either (sorry, @mitchhamilton!); I just can't bring myself to use it moderately.

I am going to restrict my time on Fuwanovel to 30 minutes and turn off all notifications as well. If I'm expecting replies to something, I'll just go directly to the thread. The issue with notifications is that they invoke addictive tendencies for me, and I just don't want to deal with them anymore. That said, I've gotten so much emotional support here that I just can't bring myself to leave completely. I wouldn't have even gone to therapy if it weren't for this very thread, and it was thanks to therapy that I even managed to start college at all. I still love the community here too. It wasn't hard to decide that I needed this forum in my life, even if it does seem a little odd for a minimalist, lol.

Anyways, I'm happy to finally be back here. I missed you guys! :wub:

(And that's it for my 30 minutes, lol. I'll be back on tomorrow~)

30 minutes is no problem when you're browsing and reading stuff on this forum, but I have on occasion taken well over two hours writing a post, so I understand how it can consume some time.

I understand how notifications can impose negative habits or tendencies. My worst behaviours related to notifications are definitely me wasting away days waiting for replies where I didn't know when they'd come. That said, I only waste days when I've days to waste. As I'm in a busy period right now I really pay very little attention to notifications.

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On 10/20/2019 at 1:09 PM, Mr Poltroon said:

I understand how notifications can impose negative habits or tendencies. My worst behaviours related to notifications are definitely me wasting away days waiting for replies where I didn't know when they'd come. That said, I only waste days when I've days to waste. As I'm in a busy period right now I really pay very little attention to notifications.

My issue is that I would frequently post stuff for the sole purpose of getting responses from people, because in my mind, getting those responses was like a kind of social acceptance I was lacking IRL. That would be further compounded by the notifications which make it so easy to keep track of them. The red color of the notification makes things even worse because it's better at drawing attention than any other color. It's the reason Facebook switched from blue notifications to red.

Keeping busy is a good way to mitigate this behavior, especially if it's urgent. Urgent activities are difficult to ignore, and can make it easier to step away from the more trivial matters.

Like buttons can also be problematic. It was bad enough when people left low-quality comments saying things like "nice post" and whatever, but when Facebook introduced the like system, it became even more convenient to leave low-quality feedback and move on to the next post (while also de-cluttering comments for more diversity). Additionally, this provided a useful metric to contribute to the platform's engineered addiction since it allowed it to more reasonably curate content in news feeds. It also created a certain ecosystem for which people become dependent on likes, even though it doesn't sufficiently fulfill our social needs.

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Confession: I honestly don't have any idea how I used to like tsundere characters. I mean, there are some good tsunderes, but most of them just act like bitches for no real reason, and I just can't stand them anymore.

And, well, making characters tsundere, yandere or any other type of dere without any extra depth is the lamest type of characterization anyway.

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On 12/11/2019 at 4:19 PM, Dreamysyu said:

Confession: I honestly don't have any idea how I used to like tsundere characters. I mean, there are some good tsunderes, but most of them just act like bitches for no real reason, and I just can't stand them anymore.

And, well, making characters tsundere, yandere or any other type of dere without any extra depth is the lamest type of characterization anyway.

The thing with about tsunderes is that if they're not written properly, they can come off as terrible and bitchy characters. In order to create some form of endearment, these types of characters have to either be toned down to only be moderately mean (Kurisu and Rin), have some kind of justification for their behavior (Taiga and Lucia), or show some capacity for kindness (Misaka and Hinagiku).

Although with that being said, I can't really imagine that many prominent tsunderes who don't fit that category, and the ones who don't probably belong to anime that have more issues than just poorly written tsundere characters. When I think back to the tsunderes I came to love, I feel that I can still justify my attachment to them because this is such an effective trope for romance writing when done well. To me, there's something quite spectacular about a girl who puts up a powerful emotional barrier only to have to crumble entirely as soon as they're able to expose their weak side to someone they've fallen in love with. It's something that I feel provides for a compelling relationship that is likely to stick with me for a very long time. Of my top 3 romance stories in otaku media, Lucia's route in Rewrite stands at the top, and the Toradora anime is ranked 3rd.

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44 minutes ago, Kenshin_sama said:

To me, there's something quite spectacular about a girl who puts up a powerful emotional barrier only to have to crumble entirely as soon as they're able to expose their weak side to someone they've fallen in love with.

Second thiiiiiiiiiiiiiis! Nothing like a good tsundere whose "tsun-ness" either vanishes or weakens a lot~ It's twice more adorable and satisfying when we do get to see this new dere side!

But I do agree that a lot of tsunderes aren't that good written, mainly those flipant modern tsundere ones. They never mellow so it feels a bit tiring and that the relationship is not going anywhere. :P Then again, like Dreamysyu said, all deres have their set of problems when they have as much depth as a puddle. I'm not a fan of kuuderes who are too uncaring either.

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Confession 1: For the 80th time I got rid of all the mobage and generally non-VN games I was playing and I'm trying to get my daily routine back in order. One day it will work, I'm sure... :nico:

Confession 2: After two days of fighting on the frontlines of an intense flamewar, I got myself banned (temporarily) from the Libyan Civil War subreddit. There's a chance it's my first ban ever on a discussion board/forums of any sorts. At least, I can't think of another one and in the past, I would be pretty shaken by such a thing. In this case, I'm kind of glad, because I should've stopped posting there a lot earlier... I guess I just really don't like Erdogan and everything associated with him...

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Warning, mini rant incoming:

Fuck this tag https://vndb.org/g2086.  "Drastic Character Development" is the name of the tag and it's described as "A significant character (protagonist, hero, heroine, etc.) goes through drastic changes for the better."  So basically, despite it's title, this tag has nothing to do with character development.  You know what really pisses me off?  People who use the terms "character development" and "character growth" interchangeably as if they mean the same thing.  And I'd fix the issue if I could, but for the life of me I cannot figure out how to edit tags.

And while I'm complaining about things on VNDB, I may as well pin on this one as well: why is G-Senjou no Maou listed as Medium length?  The lengths are supposed to be decided comparatively to other VNs if I understand correctly.  So if I compare G-Senjou no Maou to the eight VNs I've read in the Long category five of them are shorter than G-Senjou no Maou and only three of them are longer.  And this didn't use to piss me off so much, but a little while back someone changed it's entry to Long and the page looked so much better that way and then someone reverted it back to Medium and now whenever I look at that entry I can only think about how wrong that is.

/rant

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On 1/8/2020 at 6:23 AM, Plk_Lesiak said:

Confession 2: After two days of fighting on the frontlines of an intense flamewar, I got myself banned (temporarily) from the Libyan Civil War subreddit. There's a chance it's my first ban ever on a discussion board/forums of any sorts. At least, I can't think of another one and in the past, I would be pretty shaken by such a thing. In this case, I'm kind of glad, because I should've stopped posting there a lot earlier... I guess I just really don't like Erdogan and everything associated with him...

It's always for the best that we stay away from participating in the politic talk and just enjoy the war from sidelines, but then again some people may have different experience and thus different opinion here. Also yeah the talk about politic is always messy no matter which country it is, so the less we talk about that the better.

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12 hours ago, littleshogun said:

It's always for the best that we stay away from participating in the politic talk and just enjoy the war from sidelines, but then again some people may have different experience and thus different opinion here. Also yeah the talk about politic is always messy no matter which country it is, so the less we talk about that the better.

I don't really think that refraining completely from any type of political talk is a very wise idea. At the same time, it's always better not to turn into a fanatic and also avoid arguing with fanatics since you most likely aren't going to change their opinion anyway and it will just make you upset.

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4 hours ago, Dreamysyu said:

I don't really think that refraining completely from any type of political talk is a very wise idea. At the same time, it's always better not to turn into a fanatic and also avoid arguing with fanatics since you most likely aren't going to change their opinion anyway and it will just make you upset.

Well, when you get into this type of arguments online, there's a very good chance that at least some participants will be extremely unreasonable. In the end, I've learned to treat these discussions more as opportunities to train rhetorics and organize my thoughts on certain issues rather than trying to convince anyone. Although, I still end up getting too-engrossed in the arguments and getting disturbed by people's insane worldviews from time to time. If I didn't produce some level of distance and ability to switch from serious talk to trolling when no discussion can be done any more, I'd go insane myself by this point.

17 hours ago, littleshogun said:

just enjoy the war from sidelines

Well, that sounds like a healthy thing to do, not sociopathic at all. :nico:

Oh, I guess that was about flamewars. Right... Well, sometimes it's fun to join, as long as you're aware what you're getting into. There's still a chance to learn something and test your own convictions against people's critique, which is worth doing from time to time. If you're not completely disinterested, that is. :>

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On 9.01.2020 г. at 4:54 PM, GXOALMD said:

And while I'm complaining about things on VNDB, I may as well pin on this one as well: why is G-Senjou no Maou listed as Medium length?  The lengths are supposed to be decided comparatively to other VNs if I understand correctly.  So if I compare G-Senjou no Maou to the eight VNs I've read in the Long category five of them are shorter than G-Senjou no Maou and only three of them are longer.  And this didn't use to piss me off so much, but a little while back someone changed it's entry to Long and the page looked so much better that way and then someone reverted it back to Medium and now whenever I look at that entry I can only think about how wrong that is.

I was sceptical about it and I had to check my log and you're right, it took me 38 hours and 14 minutes to finish G-Senjou no Maou which should fall in the Long category.

P.S. : My log refers to that I have a neatly organised and precise text file about every VN that I play and I record how much time I have played on which day.

If anyone is interested here is my log file for G-Senjou no Maou :

Spoiler

10.11.2019 0h41min 21:44-22:25=41min.
13.11.2019 1h37min 02:00-03:37=97min.
15.11.2019 3h49min 00:31-02:58=147min. 23:58-01:20=82min.
18.11.2019 1h39min 20:50-22:29=99min. 
19.11.2019 1h33min 01:27-03:00=93min.
20.11.2019 3h18min 21:23-00:41=198min.
21.11.2019 2h50min 21:07-23:57=170min.
24.11.2019 1h52min 04:45-06:37=112min.
26.11.2019 2h25min 00:35-03:00=145min.
28.11.2019 1h30min 02:49-04:19=90min.
30.11.2019 1h53min 19:17-21:10=113min.
01.12.2019 0h25min 12:26-12:51=25min.
02.12.2019 4h45min 02:01-03:07=66min. 06:18-06:57=39min. 23:42-02:42=180min.
05.12.2019 2h47min 01:19-04:06=167min.
07.12.2019 2h37min 22:49-01:26=157min.
09.12.2019 3h25min 01:00-04:25=205min.
10.12.2019 1h08min 00:27-01:35=68min.

Total : 38h14min

 

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On 1/7/2020 at 6:23 PM, Plk_Lesiak said:

Confession 1: For the 80th time I got rid of all the mobage and generally non-VN games I was playing and I'm trying to get my daily routine back in order. One day it will work, I'm sure... :nico:

I think I remember us having a discussion on this once. :leecher:

Not gonna lie, though, I'm having my own moment of weakness atm. Been playing NGU Idle again just recently. Even though it's a slightly predatory game that managed to pull $10 out of me (screw that timegated loot filter), I still can't seem to pull myself away from it. But see, unlike most of the other idles I've played in the past, this one actually does have a few redeeming features that make it worth playing.

For one, the scaling in this game is nuts. There are a lot of unique mechanics that add to your overall progression, and the challenges you unlock over time are interesting and add even more to its scaling. The gear drops have some really interesting benefits to progression, too. Going through various reset mechanics and planning your build around them is also kinda cool, and allows you to further appreciate the scaling of the game.

Additionally, it doesn't disincentivize you from staying offline for longer periods due to the way progression is structured. I can't say I feel a particularly strong urge to play when I'm not feeling up to it. To me, it feels like both active and passive players are rewarded fairly once you down your first titan (which doesn't take long).

Lastly, the game's humor is mean, stupid, and charming in its own way. I'll admit it's not the funniest game I've played, but it does add something to the overall experience. This right here is one of the best examples of toilet humor I've seen in a while (feel free to judge me), and it even includes some cleverly disguised comedy. Do expect some references to Legend of Zelda in the forest zone.

But still, somehow I feel like I shouldn't be playing this. :/

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9 hours ago, Kenshin_sama said:

I think I remember us having a discussion on this once. :leecher:

Or a dozen times, if we count this thread. '^^

9 hours ago, Kenshin_sama said:

Not gonna lie, though, I'm having my own moment of weakness atm. Been playing NGU Idle again just recently.

Indeed, this game looks pretty crazy. Also quite incomprehensible at first glance... :o If it doesn't force you to play everyday though, it's already a lot better than pretty much all mobage. I genuinely miss Azur Lane and my waifu armada, but I definitely couldn't keep up with the daily chores forever. They were still fun most of the time, but it's very liberating to not check the game every 10 mins. I`ve realized that while it didn't look very high-maintenance, I couldn't help but minmax it all the time and I ended up spending much of my free time on it. Which wouldn't be that much of a problem if there wasn't other stuff I really wanted to keep working on and which ultimately is a bit more meaningful than marrying warships. Even extremely cute, well designed warships... Tirpitz... :'( I also don't regret the $50 I' be spent on it in 4 months, it was pretty proportional to the enjoyment factor I've got from it. I'm not even buying VNs lately, with just how much of them I have in my backlog and how many still get sent to me for review...

In the end, though, I always feel that moments when I cut down on gaming are my better ones. If I can just not go back to games when I'm really down/demotivated... :nico:

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Confession: I just randomly remembered that in my pre-weeb days, many years ago, I had a brief, random fascination with Japanese pop and listened to quite a lot of that time's recently-released Amuro Namie songs. Today I checked her music on Spotify (I was quite sure she wasn't there before? When did her full discography appear there? :michiru:) and nearly died of cringe.

So, it seems my music taste used to be even more horrible than it is now? Didn't think that'd be possible. :nico:

Edit: To be fair to myself (how nice of me!), I listened to Ayumi Hamasaki even more and I still consider her pretty awesome – she's a real musician and not an idol too. :P

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