Fuwanovel Confessions

[Kosakyun]

/snip

I was wondering where the faggot went. Any intention of staying for the holidays, or are you gonna burn out again?

I'll be staying. I don't spam topics anymore though. <3

I won't be that active, but I'll be around in the second sem too. I'm still not used to the 'My Content' missing, after all. 

Would you believe me if I said that I looked at Fuwa today, sighed, and said to myself: "I miss Kosaki"? xD 

I missed people here too, so I came back after being too busy. I can't neglect promoting faggotry in this site, after all. It's hard to promote it again once it dies. <3

 Yay! Kosaki the Dead has returned!

Shiko pls

So I heard we're a thing now----

Are you any better at Osu yet?

It hurts, Kenshin. It really does. ;-;

I haven't touched the game in forever. I suck even more now.

I have a new mouse though. <3

Stay dead for another 2 years pls, I'M ALMOST CAUGHT UP ON POST COUNT

Also, go look for yourself in a certain magical Thanksgiving thread and tell me what you think :3

Wow. You haven't caught up yet?

I guess the site change really does discourage spamming.

Also, I'll get to that. I still suck at searching threads. <3 <3 <3  

 I think everyone misses kosaki, it's normal

I was wondering where you buggered off to!  Glad to see you're back  <3

<3 <3 <3

Confession: I don't like how hard it is to format quotes in quotes now. Or I'm just being me and not knowing how to do it easily again.

Also,

Confession 2: Because of theater activities, I've been forced to see all kinds of people in their underwear because of costume changes. It lacks the thrill that the characters feel in shows. I've been lied to.

[Fred the Barber]

I see. Well I'm much more of a theorist myself. Thanks for explaining.

Haha, that's what I thought when I was in high-school/first years of college =p

I don't think you can really decide that kind of things before you set your feet in a lab for the first time, or before you've had an idea of what a theorist's activity implies.

Yeah... I have a feeling this is true of all professions, but physics is certainly one of those things where you have no idea what it involves until you do it professionally. My old roommate is a theorist (I guess you'd categorize his field as condensed matter? I think he spends most of his time doing stuff related to crystal scectroscopy or something...); meanwhile, I'm a software developer. Nonetheless, I'm pretty sure he spends a lot more time writing code than I do. And he certainly writes more Fortran than I do (which is to say a lot vs. none).

From what I heard from the people doing astrophysics in college, probably the easiest way now to be doing useful work in that field especially is to become a good software developer - astrophysicists have big data problems like you wouldn't believe. And physicists in general seem to have this weird belief that they know how to write software, so if, unlike most physicists, you actually do know how to write software, it's a good choice. But naturally, all of that will get you nowhere unless you also know all the... you know... physics. Which will take you all of 4 years in university and then 5 years in grad school and then a post-doc for a year or two and... So, good luck there, Down! I'll just be over here making money.

 

Confession: Every day I say "I'll take care of that" at least 10 times, and then I completely forget at least 1 of them. It makes me feel like crap; responsibility is probably the trait I value most in people, and lately I feel like I'm not making the grade on my own standards. I'm sure this probably sounds like a simple problem, but I'm used to relying on my (excellent) memory, and I think I've just got too much on my plate these days for my brain to handle. I need to rework my habits, probably in some small way, but changing habits is hard.

[hsmsful]

Welcome Back,Kosaki! The place feels dull without our lovable faggot <'3 

Confession: I am going to rant for a big while about my own insignificant problems in life so you are advised to avoid it if you don't wanna read a lot:

I am happy with my life or more like I should be happy with my life. I don't need to work as my parents can provide me with literally everything I want. I am well-respected at school by my friends thou I know they literally condemn me. Now to hear my problems, I would have to say I am not a hard worker, I don't like to work hard, I don't like to work at all, that's what makes me stand out between all my friends who get good grades, as I have been gifted with a slightly better ability to concentrate and understand things , that's why I am usually able to finish things quicker when it comes to academics as long as it's not something with many details as programming thou  . Anyways moving on , my friends have always condemned me for that, the people who tried to catch up to me and didn't , hell one of them left the school because he didn't bear to stay in the same school as me. Those who were always told that I play almost 24/7 and still manage to get the best grades in the whole class were mad at me and when I went out in outings where the whole class participated in , they would verbally tell me to stay away from them and that I am not allowed to play with them so granted I didn't have friends at all. I only had acquaintances and people who considered me friends due to benefits , you know these people who call you a lot during school year and forget about you in summer. Moving on, due to my gift , I was able to be generally good at school subjects, not specifically good at one or bad at other. That made the choice of my future career really hard since I really don't like anything since I don't like to work at all. I enjoy doing anything as long as it doesn't have to do with pure language study. Fuck phonetics btw. 

I didn't know whether to go to the maths department in highschool or science, so I decided to follow my parents' wishes and I now aim to be a doctor, things are going pretty well. However my parents have been touching on that weak point I have , even thou my grades are usually near perfect, I keep thinking that I did less studying than others and I become worried about whether or not this will succeed every time. My parents want me to study more just because they are parents and because they fear about my poor health, I am the kind who can easily get a cold from an all-nighter so their worries are actually fitting their place. Recently since many of my friends succeeded in getting scholarships abroad, I have been searching for one but was I actually searching? No, I was just checking sites for 2-3 hours and now that the time to apply to unis is near, I just dropped the whole subject saying I would just not get one. Why was I telling that to myself? To convince myself that the reason is not my incompetence, my anxiety and most of all my laziness. Getting a scholarship where I should get A+ or A in college terrify me , I don't even wanna find them. My parents are not rich enough to be able to provide me with pure money to study without a scholarship. I don't know how harder college is than highschool, might get 99-100% scores in highschool and then get 80% in college. So in the end, I was like then lemme try a first semester in a public college (here in Egypt which isn't that bad as it is still in the best 500 unis in the world so it's kinda meh?) and see whether or not I would actually succeed in getting one. My masturbating habits have been getting out of hand recently which is starting to pain my balls, it's not just me getting addicted anymore, it's more like my relieving my stress and anxiety, I think I did talk about me wanting to get a friend for benefits in the future. It goes along the same lines of relieving my stress and anxiety without having to deal with an extra source of one aka relationships. Maybe I also want someone to notice my efforts and relieve me by saying I actually am doing enough and I should be satisfied regardless of what my inner self and my parents think? I also have that superiority issue which I didn't notice it till this year, I just wanna be superior at all times, is it because I became used to first place that I can't let go of it? Probably yeah, I like the popularity, privileges and prestige I get at school due to getting the best grade every year. But no one understands my problem, in fact most of my "friends" irl made fun of me saying "you sound like a guy who has no problems in life but is making up ones". Well sorry I don't have a girl whose heart I crushed or with who I wanna go out with. My parents? They are like ok now go study most of the time , they just told me that they themselves don't get the problem but they believe that if I work harder, I will find the answers. But I don't wanna work hard~ Laziness might be the one causing most of my problems. So ever since I got in highschool , negative feelings have been getting together inside of me, loneliness, me looking down on others and myself, depression and inability to pleasure myself for a long period of time aka become genuinely happy not just someone happy because he's playing a game. 

I have been getting into more and more fights with my parents, to the point where I caused their blood pressure to rise on numerous occasions , I also started slowly but surely looking down on people and their problems and what they are doing with their lives more apparent. For instance, now if someone would come to tell me he has a problem with his love life, I just tell him things along the lines : maybe if you got A instead of C , you would be making yourself and your family a service instead of thinking about how to solve this relationship problem which won't even continue till college cause neither of you guys want that and you are just satisfying your libidos and having fun together. Hint : he rarely talks to me now. 

The only merit I have in my life is that I get good grades which has been making me more anxious during exams, I am afraid to get bad grades, I feel like I will become a nobody and I am afraid of that. My nerves are nearly breaking down from the stress and fapping away my problems, maybe overmasturbation harms your nervous system or something? I am not sure. And I don't seem to care about that either because I know if I stopped, I will be in a worse shape. I thought I was going right with my life but I feel that I went wrong so much with my life. Were they huge fuck ups? No in fact even now they can be described as trivial ones. But they had made living a problem for me so what's the solution? I don't know but I have a feeling inside me that I know where the problem is and how to solve it and I am just tricking myself to think I have no answer for no reason at all.  I am also an attention whore irl , that's actually one of the reasons I always wanted to be superior and refused to accept otherwise, my parents would describe as being really narcissistic.

In fact, there are some incidents that have happened recently which my parents really describe me as such: 1-The English teacher makes a trip for the first 100 from about 1k people , I got like 25th ish last month but it was due to a mistake in correction of the exam and I went there but I felt like a nobody and I didn't enjoy it. The next month, I actually became the first I came up with an excuse to convince myself that I don't need to go there then during the lesson , he asked who was and was not going and he was astonished when he found that I wasn't going and tried to convince me. Granted I wouldn't have enjoyed it either but him talking about me in front of all class and them knowing about who I was and that I got the best grade from 1000 people and such made me feel pleasure so maybe my parents are right? This is how they would describe what happened at least. 2-In the french lesson , the teacher only gives money to the first and second places, I got second place last month and got first this month and no one else did at all, this made me feel much happier. 

Writing down problems does make you feel slightly better. You guys should try it from time to time. I am also really sorry for writing such a long rant

[Valmore]

Confession: completely ignorant as to what a Fuwa pairing is.

[Kosakyun]

Confession: Every day I say "I'll take care of that" at least 10 times, and then I completely forget at least 1 of them. It makes me feel like crap; responsibility is probably the trait I value most in people, and lately I feel like I'm not making the grade on my own standards. I'm sure this probably sounds like a simple problem, but I'm used to relying on my (excellent) memory, and I think I've just got too much on my plate these days for my brain to handle. I need to rework my habits, probably in some small way, but changing habits is hard.

I feel the same way. Although I don't look at myself as a responsible person (since I really am not), I would like to try being one. It's just so disappointing when you miss stuff and opportunities just because you were too irresponsible to take care of them immediately or you just forgot about them and stuff. It's the thing that pains me the most. I really don't like being irresponsible, so I try and work it out by changing how I work. Shit goes down the drain when I try too much though.

Welcome Back,Kosaki! The place feels dull without our lovable faggot <'3 

Confession: I am going to rant for a big while about my own insignificant problems in life so you are advised to avoid it if you don't wanna read a lot:

Hidden Content

Heyo bby. <3

Also, that really was a massive pile of text. I still read it though.

Here's a pile of text to reply to yours.

All I can say is that people leaving because they can't match you is no fault of yours. Regarding that, the problem is in the people who leave, not with you. It's not your fault that they can't keep up even if you're so lazy. Some people really are more talented and gifted than others, no matter what others say. The thing they need to think about is how they're going to match those people, or at least accept that fact.

Regarding problems concerning your future after highschool, I can't really say anything besides you should really look into scholarships. I mean, I'm sure you're lazy and all, but you should still look them up. If you're not planning on going abroad, look for a local one. In my case, I can't go abroad because of lack of money. I also can't apply for an academic scholarship since it was based on the entrance exams, which I pretty much rushed because I thought I wasn't going to study at the university I'm in right now. So I went and looked for a financial aid scholarship, because we really can't afford the tuition fee. So here I am with a 75% financial aid scholarship. The best I have to do is get at least about D average to maintain it. Sadly, I cannot afford to get lower than a B average, since that's the grade requirement for the course I randomly chose. Going back to your problem, I can just imagine how hard it must be coping with the stress of knowing that your laziness might cost you your future if you pursue medicine. I mean, I am pursuing medicine. That's why I'm in a pre-med course heh. All I can say about that is try to change up your study habits bit by bit. It would hurt your other hobbies and activities, yes, but it's for investing for the future that you're trying to achieve. Also, please don't fight with your parents a lot. They allowed you to reach this point of your life, after all. Just try to explain yourself. I know that it may not work for all families, but we still should be grateful that they're rearing us as their kids. At least, that's how I look at stuff.

Regarding being an attention whore, I see nothing wrong with that. It's just that being like that really rubs some people the wrong way. This may be due to insecurities or it just being plain annoying, but there's nothing really wrong with it. People everywhere do it, after all. Garnering attention to one's self is probably happiness for some people, while some despise attention. It really depends on the person. Just like how there's nothing wrong with being an introvert. It's just that being these stuff has a general negative connotation in our society. That's my opinion, at least.

Regarding your masturbation habits, if it hurts, I do advise you to stop. I don't really know if mine is out of hand (I do fap everyday, 1 to 4 times at most), but I stop if it hurts. It's also more of a habit than a stress reliever for me, though it does help when I'm working really late because of all the shit that piled up because of my laziness. Nothing wrong with not stopping though. <3 But really. I think you should stop if it hurts lol. Don't wanna let you go through scrotal exploration like me. Although mine is because of a totally different reason.

This might not be that inspiring and stuff, but it's my take on the stuff you said. People have different opinions, so it can't be helped if you don't agree. No matter though. Please try and do your best in achieving what you want, or at least what you think you want. If you still have no idea about it, try thinking about it once in a while. It might help you decide on what you want to do. Simply postponing the problem until the future isn't going to help anyone.

I considered that you might be too lazy to read everything, so here ya go. <3

tl;dr: People leaving you because of academics are the losers, please seriously think about your future and don't postpone dealing with it, being an attention whore isn't that bad, stop masturbating so much if it hurts, and try to do your best. <3

There ya go. <3

[Kenshin_sama]

Are you any better at Osu yet?

It hurts, Kenshin. It really does. ;-;

I haven't touched the game in forever. I suck even more now.

I have a new mouse though. <3

Aw man. That's alright, just get there eventually.
Speaking of mice, I finally got a shipping label from Logitech to replace mine. The cord's kinda damaged now and it keeps bugging out on me, so they're sending me a replacement under the warranty. Sad part is that I have return the mouse first and have to use a generic one till the new one comes in. Needless to say, I won't be playing Osu for a little while (which might not be too bad since my hands are starting to hurt).

Good to have you back again pal.

[Fred the Barber]

Confession: How I know I'm a weeb: In a dream, I thought "ojamashimasu" when I wandered into somebody's house.

[Kosakyun]

Confession: How I know I'm a weeb: In a dream, I thought "ojamashimasu" when I wandered into somebody's house.

You've come past the point of no return, Freddy boy...

Confession: I was worried when I dreamed about being in a relationship with Kosaki. This was because I was genuinely sad that the dream ended. I still think it was one of the best dreams I had, where I was really happy.

[hsmsful]

Welcome Back,Kosaki! The place feels dull without our lovable faggot <'3 

Confession: I am going to rant for a big while about my own insignificant problems in life so you are advised to avoid it if you don't wanna read a lot:

Hidden Content

Heyo bby. <3

Also, that really was a massive pile of text. I still read it though.

Here's a pile of text to reply to yours.

 

Hidden Content

There ya go. <3

Thank you Kosaki <3 You cheered me up with your reply, I will try to work out things on my end, but u know one needs to rant from time to time or he might break down  

I read all of it thou, I am not that lazy, don't ridicule me

[Kosakyun]

Thank you Kosaki <3 You cheered me up with your reply, I will try to work out things on my end, but u know one needs to rant from time to time or he might break down  

I read all of it thou, I am not that lazy, don't ridicule me

I know. That's why I have a twitter account. 

>Don't ridicule me

Did you expect any less from me? 

[LinovaA]

Confession: Kaguya-hime's story is legitimately getting me hyped, and it only just started. xD 

Confession 2: I found eighty dollars in a card from my birthday, which was at the end of May. Seriously, how in the fuck did I manage to leave eighty bucks lying around for that long?!  

[Tyrael]

Confession: if you don't respond to this post, I'll feel like my existence hasn't been validated. NOTICE ME! o.0

*I still love you.

What is this from?

[Yuuko]

 What is this from?

Already answered D:

 https://vndb.org/v16070 I'm sorry, it's only in Japanese  

[LinovaA]

Confession: I am kinda reeling right now... because I had no idea that my darling Ritty was actually @Nashetania. Shows how active I have been in the last few months! Q_Q

Confession 2: Satomura > Amamiya  

[Kawasumi]

Confession: I am kinda reeling right now... because I had no idea that my darling Ritty was actually @Nashetania. Shows how active I have been in the last few months! Q_Q

Confession 2: Satomura > Amamiya  

wait, IS RITTY NASHETANIA!? holy fuck, I thought the way he talked was familiar lol. Wb I guess

[Zodai]

Confession: I am kinda reeling right now... because I had no idea that my darling Ritty was actually @Nashetania. Shows how active I have been in the last few months! Q_Q

Confession 2: Satomura > Amamiya  

wait, IS RITTY NASHETANIA!? holy fuck, I thought the way he talked was familiar lol. Wb I guess

Wait what

I didn't know this either.

[Yuuko]

Confession: I am kinda reeling right now... because I had no idea that my darling Ritty was actually @Nashetania. Shows how active I have been in the last few months! Q_Q

Confession 2: Satomura > Amamiya  

wait, IS RITTY NASHETANIA!? holy fuck, I thought the way he talked was familiar lol. Wb I guess

Wait what

I didn't know this either.

GUYS PLEASE!!!

I knew it from the second he came back...

[LinovaA]

Unless there was someone else who I debated Amamiya VS Satomura, and has a love for Fortissimo like I do, it must be true! xD

Edited December 16, 2015 by LinovaA

[Flutterz]

Confession: I just got my reddit secret santa gift! It's a small box of chocolates and two chapters of the Assassination Classroom manga

On that note, it looks like the gift I sent was delivered yesterday

[Nashetania]

Confession: I am kinda reeling right now... because I had no idea that my darling Ritty was actually @Nashetania. Shows how active I have been in the last few months! Q_Q

Confession 2: Satomura > Amamiya  

Confession: I am kinda reeling right now... because I had no idea that my darling Ritty was actually @Nashetania. Shows how active I have been in the last few months! Q_Q

Confession 2: Satomura > Amamiya  

wait, IS RITTY NASHETANIA!? holy fuck, I thought the way he talked was familiar lol. Wb I guess

P. S. No alliance for you LinovaA.
 

[Down]

Who the fuck is Ritty

[LinovaA]

Who the fuck is Ritty

Bae

Ritty is bae.

Although, I suppose it's Nashy now.  

[Nashetania]

Who the fuck is Down

Confession: I just had one of the best laughs in a while.

https://www.rt.com/uk/326057-millionaire-accidentally-raped-teenager/ It's safe for work. The thing is...

"The London-based Saudi millionaire claimed he may have accidentally penetrated the teenager after he fell on her." 

[Tyrael]

Who the fuck is Ritty

The 3D equivalent of worst girl

[Abyssal Monkey]

Who the fuck is Ritty

It's because whoever did the name change failed to mandatorily change his title to "formerly _______" like a damn screwup.