What are "Forum communities"

[Zalor]

I've been wondering recently what the appeal of forums are. In terms of social-networking, forums definitely standout as sort of unique. Unlike Facebook, Twitter, Google+, etc, our identities are relatively anonymous; yet at the same time out identities aren't non-existent like on anonymous message boards. Then there is the added factor that while Twitter and Facebook seem to be places for basic communications with friends, forums generally have a purpose. There has to be a distinct purpose to your topic and you have to place it in the right place. Also, your topic is open to discussion to anyone who wants to participate, it is not limited to your friend group. This is why I like forums, and why they are the only medium of social-networking I use (don't have a twitter or Facebook). Forums allow me to discuss topics and to get many different opinions.

 

The issue of identity particularly interests me about forums. How much do our identities matter here? On the one hand we all have usernames and most of us have avatars that relate to our interests. Our avatar is about the only outlet outside of our posts that signal to people what our interests are, and possibly what our personalities are like. For instance, lets take my avatar as an example. My avatar is retro (its a character from an snes game), and he has a concerned, serious expression. Certainly if you read my posts, one thing you would know about me is that generally I am more on the serious side, and that I like retro stuff. Hell I love the 1999 VN Kanon so much I wrote a whole analysis on it. Meaning that at least for me, the reason I have the avatar I have is because I feel it accurately represents a part of my personality. What's more, my avatar represents how I interpret myself. My avatar represents how I internally think I am as a person, not what other people think about me. So one big question of mine is does the same apply to you? Do you think your avatar represents your personality in anyway?

 

Then there is the question of what a "forum community" is. If we are all half anonymous people using digital identities, how well can we/do we know each other? Forums allow you to communicate with people when it is convenient for you, and always around specific topics. Loosely speaking, getting to know people on forums is sort of similar to getting to know people at school if you only talk to them when in assigned groups. Whether you are discussing and debating a topic, or working on a project on the site, communication on forums always has a higher purpose "than just getting to know each other". While some more extroverted people seek to communicate with people outside of the forums, either through Skype or IRC, or other things that I don't use, its very easy to remain relatively isolated if you only use the forums/pms to communicate. Certainly that is the case with me, and I was wondering if others felt the same way. The only knowledge I have of being recognized by people is if they like or reply to my posts. But even then, I am unsure if they like/replied knowing it was me who said it, or if they looked at what I wrote without attaching my digital-identity to it.

 

I've been using forums for 5 years now, and I've been on the Fuwanovel forums for around 2 years. Of my 5 years experience using this medium of communication, I've never felt that my digital identity was particularly well recognized.  

 

 

TL;DR: Please read it, but if you insist not to, I have three questions:

 

1) Do you feel your avatar represents a part of your personality?

2) Do you feel your identity is acknowledged and known on forums (either here or other forums)?

3)  How well do you honestly feel you know other people on forums?  

 

Edit: I should note that I generally feel I recognize other members better than I think they recognize me. 

[Mr Poltroon]

I'll answer all the questions then.

1)

Always. I constantly change my avatar but I'm fairly sure it always remains pretty much the same. In general, the character, and even the avatar itself, tends to accurately represent my personality. 

On this topic, I also feel some people have very distinctive personalities while others have more common place and less unique.

 

2)

Yeah, I think so. Then again, it's not like I haven't tried. Posting all over the place, PM'ing people all day long and this moderator ruckus has certainly helped.

 

3)

Honestly know people? Dunno.

But that I feel "that post is so like him" or "I expected him to post that", I certainly do.

[Down]

I don't think forums really are really social networks. I mean, they even precede social networks on the internet as far as I know.

I also think they are a much more convenient mean of discussion than social networks. Facebook is a total nonsense to me as it's obviously not made for having serious discussions AND fails at being a proper news feed. If it didn't have a built-in instant messaging feature I wouldn't see any use for it. I don't think I need to explain why trying to discuss on Twitter is absurd, either.

 

To answer your questions,

 

1) Yes, definitely. I mean, there's bound to be a reason why I chose it. In fact, it's mostly unconscious but I've noticed that the avatar I use can have slight influences on the way I talk and what I say. But it's mostly because I have a very pliable expression (one episode of Doctor Who and suddenly I'm all british, and I always pick up everyone's speech patterns).

 

2) I have no idea. I'm not trying to be deep here but I don't even know what "my identity" is and how it should/could be "properly conveyed".

 

3) Some of them pretty well. Not that much more or less than I would actual friends or acquaintances IRL.

[Eclipsed]

Fuwanovel's the first forum I ever actively partake in, so I've only been in the forum business for, uh, 4 months now?   
 

1)Do you feel your avatar represents a part of your personality?

Prior to settling down on Love Live's Minami Kotori as my avatar I have just been using avatars of any female characters I liked, with no effort put into what I felt defined or would represent me the most.

Then, due to certain...circumstances, Kotori became my sole avatar and I'm told it's how people recognize me now, so I just left it.

My signature's the place for putting characters I like now xD
 

2)Do you feel your identity is acknowledged and known on forums (either here or other forums)?

I have no idea what people think of me, but I think my *existence* is at least acknowledged/known on the forums 

 

3)How well do you honestly feel you know other people on forums?  

On a scale of 1-10, like 1-4.

• 1 being the people who only post which gives you a taste of what their real personality *could* be like.
• 4 is for the people are a bit more vocal about what's going on in their daily life but it's obviously not the entire picture.

[arakura]

 

Edit: I should note that I generally feel I recognize other members better than I think they recognize me. 

 

I really do like the things you say, though I think you are a part of the majority on this last part. It's normal for people to presume that they understand people more than you presume people understand you. Or at least for all the people I've talked to this is the case.

 

As far as my avatar goes, it puts forth an image that I want people to associate with me. I have sides to me completely unfitting of most of my avatars, but there's definitely something beyond 'it looks good' going into my avatar selection. I dont think I'm outside of the majority in this case either.

 

as far as how well I know the people on the forums...

Probably 2 for most people (vague sense of personality) and maybe up to a 5 or 6 for the people I talk to a lot outside of the forum. Interested in how they would rate me tbh.

 

Oh an a last part on how well my identity is recognized on the forums. I'd say a good bit. Certain people have recognized things about my personality that I definitely never explicitly stated, while the ones that dont communicate with me see what I want them to see, i think. And it's all nice and good that way ^^ (though on another forum I know a guy who I swear understands me better than I do in some respects)

[Chronopolis]

@Avatar Honestly I rarely look closely at avatars that don't give an immediate impression. Just like card art from collectible card games, I just recognize the pattern. A user's avatar is like a VN's art style. Unless something substantial in the text/story builds up an actual impression, the art style (ie. avatar) is all you see. So if whether they are a happy, sad, cute, funny, non-anime avatar affects my perception of the, and more so, the less I know them.

 

Like for Tiagofvarela, I imagine his avatar (and by association, him) pointing out the points layed out in his post with a raised finger while friendlily smiling.

 

While some more extroverted people seek to communicate with people outside of the forums, either through Skype or IRC, or other things that I don't use, its very easy to remain relatively isolated if you only use the forums/pms to communicate.

I used skype (text) and I still felt isolated. I think I've accepted that, but whenever there's ever a chance to do something together within a field of common interests or have a meaningful discussion, I will. Like right now.

 

digital identity

Guy-who-wrote-the-kanon-post, played swan song (which I need to play sometime), and makes interesting posts (err, to be more objective: seems to be a person who tries to make most out of textual forum interaction to try and have deeper discussions about various relevant topics and contemplations, which I think are interesting or at least interesting enough).

 

 

1) Do you feel your avatar represents a part of your personality?

1: It's kind of like my (are you serious do you really mean that in your post) type of exasperated face, but it also on account of being really cute, disperses any passive-agressive overtones, which sorta reflects me. But the reason why I picked it up was not because of that, it was just because it was a unignorably disgustingly hngggg picture from a non-moege VN.

 

2) Do you feel your identity is acknowledged and known on forums (either here or other forums)?

I'd bet it is, but it's not something anyone would mention out loud. It's probably at the level of acknowledging that such and such person (I) exists, and that if you make a post about this topic, that person (I) might come in and comment. A few specific interactions with cordial and yet not distant people make me wonder if they perhaps feel positively about me, which would be a most wonderful possibility that would make me feel like beaming.

 

3)  How well do you honestly feel you know other people on forums?

From 1-10:

RL friend:

7 ~

From skype chat:

5 bolverk, mephisto, rain {know them}

From forums only:

4 clephas, rooke {more extensive correspondence/acquaintance)

3 iced, ayana, zalor, mdz (more from his vn reviews than forum posts), 傍観者 {substantial image of them}

2 tay, astro, steve, palos, edwd and maybe a dozen others. {Have a vaguish image of them and what stance and direction they have)

1. everyone else. {Just remember their username or nothing, no image comes up}

[Zalor]

I really do like the things you say, though I think you are a part of the majority on this last part. It's normal for people to presume that they understand people more than you presume people understand you. Or at least for all the people I've talked to this is the case.

 

That's what I thought as well. To further clarify, I have a suspicion that on a communication medium like forums, it's easy to feel less recognized than you actually are, precisely because it is hard to tell when you are recognized or not.

 

 

I don't think forums really are really social networks. I mean, they even precede social networks on the internet as far as I know.

I also think they are a much more convenient mean of discussion than social networks. Facebook is a total nonsense to me as it's obviously not made for having serious discussions AND fails at being a proper news feed.

 

That's why I like forums (despite this slight criticism I have of them). In exchange of a concrete identity, you can actually engage in thoughtful discussion with lots of people who hold interesting views.

 

 

I used skype (text) and I still felt isolated. I think I've accepted that, but whenever there's ever a chance to do something together within a field of common interests or have a meaningful discussion, I will. Like right now.

 

3)  How well do you honestly feel you know other people on forums?

From 1-10:

RL friend:

7 ~

From skype chat:

5 bolverk, mephisto, rain {know them}

From forums only:

4 clephas, rooke {more extensive correspondence/acquaintance)

3 iced, ayana, zalor, mdz (more from his vn reviews than forum posts), 傍観者 {substantial image of them}

2 tay, astro, steve, palos, edwd and maybe a dozen others. {Have a vaguish image of them and what stance and direction they have)

1. everyone else. {Just remember their username or nothing, no image comes up}

 

I'm surprised you still felt kind of isolated after getting involved with Skype. Honeslty, I tried Skype chatting with some forum acquaintances long ago (before I was involved with Fuwa) and I didn't enjoy the experience much. But I thought I was unique in that regard. However, I noticed that the people you did Skype chat with you placed higher on the list.

Also, I'm honored that somebody recognizes me for my posts and thoughts on VNs, I honestly thought my Kanon thread went mostly unnoticed. By the way, I remember not too long after I made that thread you sent me this video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=78xOsH1IqBY

I laughed my ass off, hell I'm laughing as I'm rewatching it now. 

[Flutterz]

1) Not really, I just use Kud as my avatar because she's the best and I think that's how a lot of people here remember me by now "the Kud avatar person" (or at least one of the Kud avatar people). I actually only really use Kud here, in a few other places that I don't visit as often I have Illya and Shizuru Nakatsu as my avatars.

 

2) Kind of, I guess? IRL I'm pretty different from the way I am online as a lot of people probably are, but I'd imagine some of the people that have been around for a while know what to expect from me.

 

3) On a scale from 1-10, a couple of people would probably be a 4 and the rest would be 1 or 2.

[Kurisu-Chan]

You know, in ancient Rome, there were places called Forums that served to multiple purposes, but these purposes were made to gather up people in one structure, and i think that our internet forums works like the Roman forums : we reunite arround a same place and one specific subject (Visual novels here) but we also talk about a large array of subjects (video games, animes, real life) and there's something persistent in a forum, in a forum, you can hold an interesting conversation or a debate, and social networks are made for instant answers and instant discussion, nothing persistent.

 

1) Do you feel your avatar represents a part of your personality?

To be honest, i don't know, i use as my Avatar Makise Kurisu for 3 major reasons.

1-A continuation to my nickname.

2-Because i love steins;gate.

3-Because i like Kurisu and this pic is extremely cute.

 

2) Do you feel your identity is acknowledged and known on forums (either here or other forums)?

Well i hope because i act as friendly as i act in Real life, well maybe i'm less shy here, but well, i don't think i'm too different from RL, maybe i'm.

3)  How well do you honestly feel you know other people on forums?  

I have a rather high opinions about human beings, so i think that i know a little bit what i can expect from everyone here, but i'm not sure.

[crunchytaco]

1) Do you feel your avatar represents a part of your personality?

2) Do you feel your identity is acknowledged and known on forums (either here or other forums)?

3)  How well do you honestly feel you know other people on forums?  

 

Edit: I should note that I generally feel I recognize other members better than I think they recognize me. 

 

1) Absolutely. It is reflecting my taste and what I want people to see from me at the moment. I mean it took me two seconds to pick this picture out of a thousand that I saw on that internet; and I've used a lot of avatars here. I've more or less showcased a side of me that loves old rock music, anime style, sex appeal etc. all in one picture. 

 

2. More or less. I'm never the most important body of a forum but I'm not entirely invisible either. It's got to do with my personality of living the lone-wolf aspect.

 

3. I feel very close with certain members on this forum mostly due to chemistry. All our conversations click and we feel at ease when we see our names and avatars when we talk. That's just life. Some people will get along with you better than others. That said, I still haven't got around to skyping and the like. 

[Snowtsuku]

1) Do you feel your avatar represents a part of your personality?

2) Do you feel your identity is acknowledged and known on forums (either here or other forums)?

3)  How well do you honestly feel you know other people on forums?  

 

1) I dunno. I've been using Arietta as my avatar since I read Symphonic Rain. That's like 7 years ago. Though there are times that I change it if there is another image where I can place her. For example, she's not my facebook avatar but she's my facebook cover photo.

2) By the people I talk to I guess. I don't really care about the people I don't associate with.

3) I don't really remember most of the people I deal with. Both online and in real life.

[Katatsumuri]

Interesting...

 

1) No. Definetly no. I always choose an avatar based on snails due to having my steam profile named as such. The only thing that represents me about my avatars, is that a japanese version of my RL name is included in my username, which is japanese for snail. But personality-wise, my avatars are not based on me. At all.

 

2) I am on the forums frequently but I do not post *that* often, and since my posts tend to be short... So no, I don't think people know me that well. Or maybe someone think they do, In which case, they might be correct (or completely wrong for that matter.) My best bet is that it's the people I skype with who knows me best here on fuwa.

 

3) I sort of know the basic preferences of most frequent posters here, but nothing further than that. Once again, those I know best are probably those I skype with.

[Cyrillej1]

While some more extroverted people seek to communicate with people outside of the forums, either through Skype or IRC, or other things that I don't use, its very easy to remain relatively isolated if you only use the forums/pms to communicate. Certainly that is the case with me, and I was wondering if others felt the same way. The only knowledge I have of being recognized by people is if they like or reply to my posts. But even then, I am unsure if they like/replied knowing it was me who said it, or if they looked at what I wrote without attaching my digital-identity to it.

 

I've been using forums for 5 years now, and I've been on the Fuwanovel forums for around 2 years. Of my 5 years experience using this medium of communication, I've never felt that my digital identity was particularly well recognized. 

 

Edit: I should note that I generally feel I recognize other members better than I think they recognize me. 

I feel similar about the isolation thing except with a few members I do use chat program with.

 

I know some people probably feel overlooked or that their posts don't matter... but personally, if I liked a lot of a user's posts, it usually means I recognize them and appreciate their thoughts and such although I may never message or post replies to them. There are people on the forums I do recognize, just never talk with.  So I'm sure, people know who you are ;p... I've seen you around before, and notice your posts/avatar/name too.   (I also love Fire Emblem btw)

 

1) Do you feel your avatar represents a part of your personality?

2) Do you feel your identity is acknowledged and known on forums (either here or other forums)?

3)  How well do you honestly feel you know other people on forums?  

 

1) I've had this similar talk with another member before xD.. kinda interesting since we had different reasons.  But when I choose an Avatar, I do think it represents a part of my personality somehow or how I'd like others to perceive me.  Like.. I recently changed mine to Mikasa (Attack on Titans), mostly because.. her appearance resembles how I look somewhat, plus she also kind of has a loner personality. Still, the pic itself shows a more gentler side to her.  So I chose this pic of her to represent me since it fits well I think.  But she's also my favorite character, and just cool too^^   ..for me, there's some thought into picking an avatar, but it's not always for the same reasons depending. This time I wanted an avatar I felt similar to, but other times I've chosen one just to advertise a new game of my fave character.  Buuut I guess they've all been females at least.

 

2) I've never really been good at being involved with forums.. always just lurked.  Fuwa is actually the first one I've been really active in, it even surprises me sometimes that I haven't disappeared yet.  And I'm not talking about active as in just posting things.. but actually getting to know the community.  I think I'm known by a few members I've gotten to know, but other than that, probably not much or at all.. lol.

 

3) umm, honestly, huh.  Well, there are few I'm on friendly terms with so it's like any normal acquaintance in real life probably.  Maybe one person I've gotten to know really well, and might be the reason why I'm still more involved than I would be if I hadn't befriended on here.  That means, I've gotten to know them well enough, I wouldn't feel uncomfortable trying to meet in real life kind of thing.

[zoom909]

Then there is the added factor that while most of us have avatars that relate to our interests. Our avatar is about the only outlet outside of our posts that signal to people what our interests are, and possibly what our personalities are like.

 

 

 

Yeah, from the outset I never even considered using my avatar like that.  It's just a way to share which girls I happen to like.  I suppose that indirectly the heroines one likes might give a clue to someone's personality, but I don't intend it to happen that way.

 

Anyway, your statement is not quite true.  That's what your profile is for.  If someone clicks on your name, and your profile is filled out, they can (hopefully) learn more about you.  At least...that's the theory.

[reyaes]

I find forums to be great communities through the strength they hold among their members as well at the versatility of being somewhat anonymous. Members aren't necessarily know each other personally, but I find that the relationships the grow between different internet personalities as well as they would between acquaintances in real life. One can also chose how much of their internet personality is going to reflect who they really are. I would guess that most people would just act as themselves, as I do as well.

 

I do like to personalize my experience, maybe more than others. My avatar and signature reflect at least a part of my personality, interests and ideals. I like to incorporate personal experiences in my posts. I'll get involved with others on making connections between my won thoughts, the thoughts of others and the topic on hand.

 

The discussion structure of forums seems to be the simplest and most effective way of displaying a point, coming to conclusions and getting to know people along the way.

 

There are my two cents.

[Totodile]

1) my avatars are always purely for entertainment purposes whilst you read my posts

2) My identity is pretty much well known on most forums i visit but for as this site is light-hearted unlike the rest i stay anonymous. 

3)I ain't know shit about you guys and i don't need to, lets just randomly communicate about our unhealthy obsessions

[Lambda]

I am bare bones, so I might just answer the questions... Although I will say that forums are interesting things, considering I'm not open with my anime, fujoshi or vn habits in real life. You get to know that right from the get-go, in exchange for not knowing the other sides of me most people get to on first meetings.

 

1) Do you feel your avatar represents a part of your personality?

Yes, I constantly read everyone's posts like ._. . Is what I wanna say, but I'm actually a passionate person, so probably not. Represents my sense of humour a little? I thought it was a funny face. Other avatars I choose 'cause they're cute... in a chibi or animal way. Or a chibi-animal way. When I first joined, I had an avatar of the VN I played last, and I intended to keep up that system, but I take too long to read these things...

 

2) Do you feel your identity is acknowledged and known on forums (either here or other forums)?

Is this just asking me if I think people say "hey, it's Lambda" when I post...? Because maybe a quarter of them might.... I have no idea what kind of legacy I'm leaving, though. Well, fujoshi first and foremost, right?

If we're talking about who I truly am on the inside, no one knows me well enough for that or anything.

 

3)  How well do you honestly feel you know other people on forums?

Probably about as well as they know the true me i.e. not a whole lot. I don't skype with anyone or anything, so it's harder because they're only getting what I choose to tell them, which are my opinions on very narrowly defined subjects that I'm alright with submitting an opinion on. There are numerous topics I could contribute to everyday, but don't because I don't wanna go there.

[LinovaA]

You see, forum communities for me are just a wonderful place where I can hang my real world mask and be the real me. Its hard for me to be myself outside of the internet, as most people think I am kinda weird (human interactions simply baffle me is all). Therefore, a forum community, in my opinion, is simply a place where we can throw the shackles of the real world off our shoulders and spend time among people who actually "get it". This is made easier by having a level of anonymity that you do not get in real life. You do only get what people present to you, but that is kind of what makes forums great. You get to be whoever you wanna be. I just so happen to want to be myself. So a forum community is... well... Its all relative to what you make of it really.

 

So to answer those questions:

 

1) I use Fuko as my profile picture on pretty much every forum I participate in, but I have never thought of her as representing part of my personality. When I think on it though, my interests have a huge influence on my personality. If I actually took time to write a proper interests blurb on my profile, you could probably get a good idea of my personality looking at my regular posts and at my interests. Maybe. 

 

 

2) Well... that depends really. I have always felt pretty unknown myself. Then again... I was always posting over at CR, so I think it is pretty easy to feel that way over there. Doubt I am recognized here, since I finally made my presence here known only a few days ago. 

Guess there is always my Lemmasoft account too, but I don't post over there nearly as much as other places. When we sit down and have conversation like this though, I feel that we get to know one another a little better... if only a little.

 

 

3) I haven't really ever felt I have known anyone online aside from the friends I have made over any multiplayer games I used to play. I mean, its easy to get a basic idea of people's personalities when you look through topics and see them post over and over again. I mean, one can argue that that is just the personality they are showing, but that just goes back to what I was saying about how a forum communities purpose is relative to the participant. Depends on what they are laying on the table. So you could you know some people really well, and others are merely acquaintances who you may talk to on a daily basis.

[Zalor]

You see, forum communities for me are just a wonderful place where I can hang my real world mask and be the real me. Its hard for me to be myself outside of the internet, as most people think I am kinda weird (human interactions simply baffle me is all). Therefore, a forum community, in my opinion, is simply a place where we can throw the shackles of the real world off our shoulders and spend time among people who actually "get it". This is made easier by having a level of anonymity that you do not get in real life. You do only get what people present to you, but that is kind of what makes forums great. You get to be whoever you wanna be. I just so happen to want to be myself. So a forum community is... well... Its all relative to what you make of it really.

[Clephas]

 

1) Do you feel your avatar represents a part of your personality?

2) Do you feel your identity is acknowledged and known on forums (either here or other forums)?

3)  How well do you honestly feel you know other people on forums?  

 

Edit: I should note that I generally feel I recognize other members better than I think they recognize me. 

[Zalor]

Zalor, one of the things about a forum is that it creates a community that is far more tightly bound in some ways than a channel or a Facebook community.  To be blunt, Facebook and other social media of the same type tend to have too much noise mixed in to be of any use in forming a solid community in the long run.  Also, forums are a good place to learn internet etiquette.  For one thing, they are partially anonymous, which means you can just 'cut out' your 'face' if you feel like you've made too much of a fool of yourself.  On the other hand, if you establish and stick with an online personality, you can take part in a community that shares your interests but isn't reliant on your participation in particular to survive in a fulfilling way. 

 

Clephas, I was hoping you would reply sooner or later. I knew you would have a lot of interesting things to say regarding forums and digital communities.

 

I never had personal experience with social-media where you attach your real life identity, but it overall seems stupid to me. For one, you are correct that these places couldn't care less about online etiquette. I know this because a friend of mine who I keep contact with through E-mail since I don't have a Facebook, initially noted how formal my messages were. I didn't intend them to be that way, all I did was use proper grammar and think about what I wanted to say before sending it. It seems to be that places like FB encourage people to not think before they post (just like how most people don't think before they speak). It maintains a more accurate portrayal of real life communication. This also gets back to your point about how it is difficult to create a solid community based around a hobby; due to too much irrelevant noise. Because social-media such as FB more accurately replicate real life communication, I am not surprised by this. I have had very few in-depth discussion about VNs, anime, or stories with real life friends. The only time in real life I can engage in intelligent discussion about stories and literature is in my classes, but out side of a formal setting like a classroom; it is near impossible.

 

I remember once somebody I was with said, "It is kind of sad how humans always feel compelled to make fun of everything, as if nothing in this world is worth taking seriously". Indeed I find this sad, and the only place I can find people who treat things like VNs and anime seriously are on forums. The slight bit of formality that forums create, seems to be crucial in binding people together around a hobby. Again, I don't think forms are that formal. But the fact that you have to stay on topic in threads and only contribute when you have something of some value or worth to say, is needed to maintain a healthy exchange of ideas.

 

Returning to another reason why I think attaching your real life identity to social media is stupid; it creates dependence. What I mean by dependence is a dependence on trust. To be blunt, I hardly ever publicly say what I think, or reveal something about my self in real life. To a small extent, I learned the hard way that trusting people with personal information is like giving them a means to either black male you with, or harm you. It took quite a bit of time, but I finally do have some friends who I genuinely trust at this point. However, in real life I can control who I reveal information to, FB takes away that control. Or rather, it creates a convenient way to leak information. I hate gossip, and FB encourages such frivolous discussion and drama. At least once a year at my school, there has been some major issue on FB where guidance counselors had to get involved (and then people ask me why I don't have a Facebook, lol).

 

You mentioned that anonymous message boards bring out the worst in humanity, at least on there no serious consequences can result. Mainstream social media is a tool that can bring out the worst of humanity, and it can have major consequences. It gives tremendous power to people. If somebody is very angry at a friend or a former lover, they have easily accessible means to trash that person's reputation. 

 

Perhaps it is because I don't value socializing for its own sake...

 

This reminds me of why I started this topic in the first place. I find this site a great place to communicate with people about ideas I care about, but there is a part of me that needs silly, frivolous, and casual contact with people on occasion. Forums don't satisfy this occasional social need of mine. To me regular socializing is like sugar and sweets that are at the top of the food pyramid. Too much is bad (at least for me), but I need some every once in a while.  

[Cyrillej1]

You see, forum communities for me are just a wonderful place where I can hang my real world mask and be the real me. Its hard for me to be myself outside of the internet, as most people think I am kinda weird (human interactions simply baffle me is all). Therefore, a forum community, in my opinion, is simply a place where we can throw the shackles of the real world off our shoulders and spend time among people who actually "get it". This is made easier by having a level of anonymity that you do not get in real life. You do only get what people present to you, but that is kind of what makes forums great. You get to be whoever you wanna be. I just so happen to want to be myself. So a forum community is... well... Its all relative to what you make of it really.

I totally relate to this.  I'm probably more truthful about my opinions and who I am on this forum, than I am in real life (I mean I'm not like a fake irl.. but there's only a few people who truly know me, and everyone else only sees my outer persona and what I feel is appropriate for them to see).  For me, I have to filter what I really think irl more because of social expectations, and forced social interactions.  At least on a forum, if I have nothing to say about at topic or feel uneasy about participating, I can just not reply in it.  It's a lot more controlled, so I have a choice to engage or not reply and only if I really want to.  Also, the anonymity puts less pressure having repercussions affecting me in the real world so there's not as much a danger to express how I truly feel (this can be a good or bad thing).  Irl, sometimes you're forced to engage and not be as honest about what you really think in the moment, and also a shorter window on how to reply... but that could just be how I am, so that's why I personally feel more freedom online.  I guess I can be quite secretive and private xD is probably why I feel that way..  

 

soo I might not have same exact reasons, but like you, @Linova, I also feel like a weirdo (especially socially). So it's harder to fully be myself irl than on the internet where I can choose to be more like myself due to anonymity and control.

 

I don't use FB because it's still connected to my Real Life identity.. it's like showcasing my secrets/privacy for the whole world and bunch of strangers to see and be under scrutiny.  And since like I said, I prefer not to do that even in real life.  Honestly, the forum almost feels like an alternate world for the other side of me to be open.  Online, someone gets to know one part of me that's not as easily shown irl...  irl, someone gets to know a part of me that's not as easily shown online.  Not saying I have separate selves, but the process is different and in reverse maybe on parts they get to know first?

 

In real life people form impressions of what they see of you, regardless of whether you wanted them to see what they see or not. When it comes to a digital persona though, people see what you allow/want people to see of you. In a way this is also your self, but it's a more conscious expression of yourself. For instance, you know when you converse or argue with somebody and later on in the day you start thinking about what you could have/should have said instead? In real life you didn't say those things, but in forms you do. On forms you can say the things that you most want to say how you most want to say them, instead of real life where you are acting in real time. I think acting in real time showcases how you are subconsciously since you don't have that much time to think, whereas online we act like how we consiously perserve ourselves to be. Again, all just speculation. ^.^ Thanks for sharing what you did.

Hm.. if that's true, I guess it means I prefer my more conscious expression of myself xD.. since it's filled with more things I consciously care about, lol.

 

..and perfect example.. Although there will be people I don't even know possibly reading my post, I'm more okay with that because it's anonymous.. and I want to.  I probably would not talk about this kind of stuff to anyone I know irl, unless they were a very very close friend.. But even then, these type of questions wouldn't really come up often or at all.

 

So yeah, forums can be a nice comfortable place to exchange ideas openly.

[LinovaA]

 

I totally relate to this.  I'm probably more truthful about my opinions and who I am on this forum, than I am in real life (I mean I'm not like a fake irl.. but there's only a few people who truly know me, and everyone else only sees my outer persona and what I feel is appropriate for them to see).  For me, I have to filter what I really think irl more because of social expectations, and forced social interactions.  At least on a forum, if I have nothing to say about at topic or feel uneasy about participating, I can just not reply in it.  It's a lot more controlled, so I have a choice to engage or not reply and only if I really want to.  Also, the anonymity puts less pressure having repercussions affecting me in the real world so there's not as much a danger to express how I truly feel (this can be a good or bad thing).  Irl, sometimes you're forced to engage and not be as honest about what you really think in the moment, and also a shorter window on how to reply... but that could just be how I am, so that's why I personally feel more freedom online.  I guess I can be quite secretive and private xD is probably why I feel that way..  

 

soo I might not have same exact reasons, but like you, @Linova, I also feel like a weirdo (especially socially). So it's harder to fully be myself irl than on the internet where I can choose to be more like myself due to anonymity and control.

 

[Chewy]

Well there are people who just want to meet more people like me I guess. I mean the difference between forums and things like skype, facebook and the like is that you add people you know (most of the time) and ignore the ones you don't. On forums you scoop up a ton of random people and dump then in a room. They are bound to socialise with these strangers in front of them when they get bored.