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Fuwanovel Confessions


OriginalRen

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Welcome Back,Kosaki! The place feels dull without our lovable faggot <'3 

Confession: I am going to rant for a big while about my own insignificant problems in life so you are advised to avoid it if you don't wanna read a lot:

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I can actually relate to parts of this, and maybe there's something that this post could help with.... In the end, still it's me whining though, so take that into consideration- it's both a self-confession and a reply to you:

Okay, this part of the intro really hits home: 

"I am happy with my life or more like I should be happy with my life. I don't need to work as my parents can provide me with literally everything I want. (...) Now to hear my problems, I would have to say I am not a hard worker, I don't like to work hard, I don't like to work at all"

You just said you were being condemned by friends and classmates for your skill, and that isn't something that means you should think you're supposed to be happy with your life. You are being bullied (although no one is entitled to being included in friend circles etc. a classwide exclusion IS too drastic) - at least, you're being excluded and I can really understand why that would depress you. You noticed that you've grown indifferent to the problems of others, have you realized you've been the same, too harsh, to yourself?

Thinking you have an obligation to be happy is enough reason for stress in itself, I know that because it came up in my meetings with my counselor whom I've been visiting for concentration issues (the not doing homework thing I've been whining about for the past year). It's okay to feel sad or bad about your life- criticizing yourself for feeling that way will be a huge obstacle for your mental well-being. I can also relate to the feeling of self-worth being bound to good grades. There's been nothing exceptional about me all my life except for getting pretty great grades without studying in middle school (got into what might be the second best private high school in the country, would've gotten into the best had it not been for a bullshit male-female student quota) by not studying much, in comparison to many of my classmates who gave up sports or arts they'd done for almost a decade to study for this exam and ended up in worse schools than me. Then high school arrived and fucked my grades up: I'd never gotten below an 80 in any exam in middle school, my first exam in HS was a 61. I still have no studying skills and I'm incredibly disorganized. I do feel worthless often. I feel like a one-trick pony without its trick. It's a major downer for me, my one solace is video games & literature (they make me forget who I am) and friends, who I always end up feeling cheerful with. Sometimes I wish I had somebody I could share my sadder moments with, but friends can also just make you forget all about that. So yes, unfortunately it's possible that your intellect will be insufficient at some point in the future. Try to get a sure footing in terms of self discipline and skills before thatç Currently the only thing that stands out about me is the fact that I have very good English (especially vocabulary), at least among my peers, but since I want to study in the UK or US where most people are far better at it than me, it's practically nullified for a future career prospect (except becoming a writer in English, for which I have my doubts). However, effortlessly being the first out of 1000 people in highschool doesn't really compare to my experience. 

Your overexertion of masturbation seems like a way of escapism to me. I understand, trust me, I understand that feeling. In my opinion you appear to be kind of addicted (continuing a habit despite knowing it does you harm, and yes I'm guilty of this too). If you feel you'll be worse off without fapping though, I can't wholeheartedly recommend you to tone it down. Try to divert that attention instead, if you try to kill your addiction without finding something else you'll find yourself even more tightly bound to that addiction. Try literature or photography maybe, or an instrument.

You said you were becoming rather arrogant and indifferent. To me it seems like you need someone to care about. With fights in the family and no true friends, I think it's understandable that you'd cut off emotional ties with people. You did say before that you didn't feel ready for a romantic relationship though, so I don't know what options there are for you. Picking up a new hobby might help. I recommend tennis or agriculture, both are stuff I kinda suck at but I do them regularly (for 1.5 hrs or so a week) because they make me forget my perpetual problems- if at least for a while. Your view of yourself as an attention whore might also be because of this problem, to me it sounds like you need someone you can open up to.

Actually, I can somewhat relate to the people that fell out with you due to your sheer talent. My best friend for most of last year was this introverted dude who loved water polo was all else, and he said that he'd be spending his birthday (today) with studying for a quiz he'll take tomorrow. His academic accomplishment was amazing (thanks to sheer hard work), and I felt so inferior to him at times that it felt kinda bad. We just don't talk anymore. That said, that situation is not your fault. You deserve better friends, who will take you seriously when you are and truly help you pick yourself up. Those people that can't bear to talk to you- their resentment is towards themselves, they're intoxicated in their own envy. They compare themselves with you, and when they find out they are utterly inferior they ridicule and exclude you instead of trying to improve themselves to your example in a vain effort to feel better about themselves. You've done nothing to be hated for by succeeding in academia. 

Being an asshole to people isn't a good thing like how you talked to that friend of yours about girl issues. That was a dick move on your part. It sounds like how your friends called your problems "made up", that's a cruel thing to say really. Do not do that sort of thing if you strive to become a better person. You have enough adversity in your life, don't cause any more.

Your "friends" of yours ridiculing you for trying to open up to them? They're not friends, cut off communication with them if they can't share your pain as well as pleasure. 

Also, regarding that grade thing. Try picking up some study habits now, when you're on sure academic footing. Possibly you can start to self-learn something and if you're diligent at it you might end up developing skills that will make you more confident in yourself and your academic prowess. 

I don't know if you'll take away anything from this. I'm sorry if you couldn't. PM me up if you ever feel like venting, I feel like we're somewhat close in that regard and maybe talking to each other will be beneficial to both of us.

Kenshin_sama is an amazing Fuwa user, he's really made me feel much much MUCH better at times. Talk to him.

P.S: I really admire your intellect, you sound like you're a genius when it comes to academia. That inherent ability is something I personally revere in people.

btw, congrats Flutterz for that Reddit secret santa gift! I should do that when I become 18. 

Confession: I haven't been able to eat lunch with my group of friends at my school for the last few weeks (I've been doing that daily since I started HS). It's very depressing. I feel like I'm being separated from them, which is terrifying.

Edited by Funyarinpa
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Confession: I am kinda reeling right now... because I had no idea that my darling Ritty was actually @Nashetania. Shows how active I have been in the last few months! Q_Q

Confession 2: Satomura > Amamiya :illya: 

wait, IS RITTY NASHETANIA!? holy fuck, I thought the way he talked was familiar lol. Wb I guess

Wait what

I didn't know this either.

GUYS PLEASE!!!

I knew it from the second he came back...

I should have been able to guess from the Neptunia image replies he posted. I'm slow. >.<
Um... hi Nashy!
:Teeku:

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Confession: I am kinda reeling right now... because I had no idea that my darling Ritty was actually @Nashetania. Shows how active I have been in the last few months! Q_Q

Confession 2: Satomura > Amamiya :illya: 

wait, IS RITTY NASHETANIA!? holy fuck, I thought the way he talked was familiar lol. Wb I guess

Wait what

I didn't know this either.

GUYS PLEASE!!!

I knew it from the second he came back...

I should have been able to guess from the Neptunia image replies he posted. I'm slow. >.<
Um... hi Nashy!
:Teeku:

I don't think I posted them before though...

B1VIHos.jpg
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Confession: I always wonder what it would be like to have a gift exchange with people from other countries. I have no idea how it'll work though. I haven't received mail in the 17 years I've been alive, after all. And I mean mail that aren't bills.

I actually had a teenage german girl mail our family trying to trace back her lineage.  It turned out we were related by my great grandparents or something, as they were immigrants to the US.  That was about the only entertaining piece of mail we've ever gotten.

Confession: In your signature, it looks like Kosaki is stabbing Raku with a giant fucking dagger.  It just needs blood to complete the effect.  RIP Raku.

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