blahblahblahxxx Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 Ooh, something I actually have some experience in! When it's on the internet it's pretty easy, just close your browser or put away your phone or whatever when you feel you're pissed and might say things you wouldn't normally say. Probably a bit harder IRL, but I find people are usually calmer IRL. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eclipsed Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 I'm generally an easygoing person so I don't think I've ever gotten genuinely angry Nvm i lied I agree it's pretty hard to restrain yourself once the fuse is lit. There are times where my mind will even go 'dude you're being unreasonable' but I continue yappin' away Deep breaths, deep breaths.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cyrillej1 Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 And on the topic of him being slightly overwight, I actually have a small confession to make... I'm not really to attracted to him, we've never done 'it' and if I'm honest, the idea of doing 'it' with him make me feel a little uncomfortable. Out of curiosity, I'd like to ask, why are you with him if you're not really attracted to him? You mean you're together more for his personality then? I hope you don't ever let him pressure you into 'it' if you're uncomfortable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flutterz Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 haha "just close your browser or put away your phone" best advice Honestly it is really hard. In real life, it's ten times worse. I'm not someone who's more confident on the internet. I'll speak my mind either way. I suppose "easy" is a bit much, but once you do it a couple of times it becomes almost a habit. When I see something that irritates me I just think "is responding to this shit worth my time and will I look back on it and think I did the right thing by responding?", and most of the time the answer is "no". And since it's not worth my time, I close the tab (the more immediate the action is the better, because once you get rid of the irritant the temptation to respond goes way down) and go somewhere else. It's good to speak your mind, but just keep in mind that some people won't pay attention even if they actually read it, and do you really want to waste your time on that? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sanahtlig Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 Which brings me to a question, how do you guys calm down and keep your mouths shut when you're salty? I have a problem with speaking my mind even if I shouldn't, which also makes my words sound extra aggressive even when I don't mean to be. The truth shall set you free. I rarely encounter situations where I believe muzzling myself serves the greater good. Only through discourse can we forge and temper our ideas and ourselves. Harmony is stagnation and complacency. Only through competition will the best ideas reign supreme. Mr Poltroon 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zodai Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 While stating yourself is important, there's thought to be placed in the value of the argument versus the negatives of conflict. It depends on the importance of the conflict and your own reliability of whether or not you believe the argument can be reliably presented on your end. If it's something you feel is important enough to make a statement about, you'd better be sure you understand both sides of the argument fairly well. Progress is important and all, but conflict for the sake of progression without thought leads to more problems down the road. Present both sides of the argument as coherently as possible if you feel it necessary - understand what counter-points are brought up, and whether or not you believe it's false. Once you start stating solely a single side as opposed to thinking through what the other side's point of view is, it starts going into a shouting match where either one side declines to comment for the sake of friendliness or they go off into infinity until someone steps in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rinima Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 Out of curiosity, I'd like to ask, why are you with him if you're not really attracted to him? You mean you're together more for his personality then? I hope you don't ever let him pressure you into 'it' if you're uncomfortable. I'm not quite sure, I mean, we were friends for a good 2 years before we got together, so obviously I like his personality. And don't worry, I'm not doing anything with him yet. But it does make me worry since he use to complain to me with his ex, cause she didn't put out for 6 months, and it's been more than 6 months for us. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zodai Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 Romance and dating in-general is something that isn't usually gotten right on the first try. There are so many different factors to keep track of that there's bound to be something you aren't quite too experienced at. In-general I'm still working towards figuring out how to meet people of the desired gender to begin with ;-; Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Poltroon Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 I dislike getting genuinely angry or serious on the internet. It's a waste of bloody time. When I get angry my formality in writing increases threefold and my usual harshness in jest becomes bitterness instead. I have only become angry on two occasions, one was with Nosebleed and it was a huge headache for the both of us. The other was with the staff in general in a period where they were closing threads left and right. For the first one I spoke up. It acomplished nothing but the issue is now irrelevant. At least I had the sense not to do it in public but through PM. For the second one I complained in private. Eventually it stopped being as much of a thing and it's fine now. Looking back, I still believe I was in the right. Not in the right state of mind to discuss it, however. As for real life I speak with a smile as in "are you bonkers?" but usually give in easily. I don't like getting angry. I am of the belief you should speak your mind, but please, not when you're stubborn and angry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyrael Posted May 31, 2015 Author Share Posted May 31, 2015 I'm not quite sure, I mean, we were friends for a good 2 years before we got together, so obviously I like his personality. And don't worry, I'm not doing anything with him yet. But it does make me worry since he use to complain to me with his ex, cause she didn't put out for 6 months, and it's been more than 6 months for us. So, you like but not love him? Do you find yourself being attracted to other people or is a lack of attraction natural for you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sanahtlig Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 While stating yourself is important, there's thought to be placed in the value of the argument versus the negatives of conflict. It depends on the importance of the conflict and your own reliability of whether or not you believe the argument can be reliably presented on your end. If it's something you feel is important enough to make a statement about, you'd better be sure you understand both sides of the argument fairly well. Argument need not be just for the sake of decision making. Through argument we come to better understand our own ideas. The point of an argument isn't necessarily to "win" and either convince or discredit your opponent; in many cases arguments are how you come to understand other viewpoints. Argument is a quest for truth, and if you don't ever change your mind, you're doing it wrong. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rinima Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 So, you like but not love him? Do you find yourself being attracted to other people or is a lack of attraction natural for you? I like, defo like, but love isn't something that's really popped up. Which is a shame cause I try really hard. And yea, on occasions. I wouldn't actually do anything about it, but I do get attracted to other people (though to be fair, I think that's fairly normal) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyrael Posted May 31, 2015 Author Share Posted May 31, 2015 I like, defo like, but love isn't something that's really popped up. Which is a shame cause I try really hard. And yea, on occasions. I wouldn't actually do anything about it, but I do get attracted to other people (though to be fair, I think that's fairly normal) I'm not trying to judge you for being attracted to other people, but it's pretty alarming that you get attracted to them and not your boyfriend. It's obvious that you're a great person, but you can't force yourself to love someone if it doesn't come naturally. Can you see yourself dating this person for who knows how many years to come? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rinima Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 I'm not trying to judge you for being attracted to other people, but it's pretty alarming that you get attracted to them and not your boyfriend. It's obvious that you're a great person, but you can't force yourself to love someone if it doesn't come naturally. Can you see yourself dating this person for who knows how many years to come? I'm not entirely sure. It certainly doesn't help that he lives half way across the country. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rainsismyfav Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 I'm not entirely sure. It certainly doesn't help that he lives half way across the country. Story of my life =/ So is it mostly online/ long-distance dating then? How often do you guys meet? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arakura Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 Let the salt flow! But actually whenever I would get angry at someone online over some disagreement I imagine some situation in which I was ignorant or foolish. And then I think about all the times that I was sure I was right about something but was actually wrong. And after I've done that, I realize that a gentle hand is something to be appreciated, rather than a pushy, aggressive one. And who knows, maybe the salt was foolish in the first place. Actually I'm not sure I'm the kind of person who should be giving advice like this. I actually don't know if I'm good at controlling myself or not. Sometimes I have a bad habit of being too sarcastic. Things to work on things to work on Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rinima Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 Story of my life =/ So is it mostly online/ long-distance dating then? How often do you guys meet? Mostly online, though we didn't met that way (oddly). Every couple of months if we're lucky (I only get 7 weeks of holiday a year as a student and he works full time) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zenophilious Posted June 1, 2015 Share Posted June 1, 2015 I like, defo like, but love isn't something that's really popped up. Which is a shame cause I try really hard. And yea, on occasions. I wouldn't actually do anything about it, but I do get attracted to other people (though to be fair, I think that's fairly normal) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hsmsful Posted June 1, 2015 Share Posted June 1, 2015 As far as getting angry goes, I would just say think about whether or not this is worth your time. Value your time. You don't have unlimited time in this life. Just keep this fact in head and you will find yourself calming down during most of the trivial situations irl and almost all of the situations on the internet. I never got genuinely angry on the internet tbh (let's omit the times I rage quitted online games, ok? ok) but as for in real life, I will let myself waste time only if I will find delight and pleasure in pissing the person in front of me off or badmouthing him. I wanna ask you guys for an advice about two problems I am having recently (well I have had both of them for a while, they became a thing affecting my life just recently).First problem: For the longer part of my time, I have been narcissist .... in a very bad way tbh. I would totally look down on many people in real life. No matter how hard I try, I can't change it. Maybe it stemmed from the fact that I almost always get the best overall marks in my whole grade but the more time goes, the more it affects me worse irl. I will mention two examples: 1-I thought it would be a great idea to go practise a sport I have been willing to practise for a while now which is tennis so ofc I joined the newbies who know little to nothing about this game. Among this group, there were many females who pretty much joined for the sake of knowing the guys in the experienced group while having an excuse that they are practising the same sport, this made me cringe for a while especially because my trainer always favored them above me and despite being harsh on me, he would be soft on them ... at some point, I and another guy were the only ones running everywhere and collecting balls. In addition to that , whenever I get to know an acquaintance in the club, we won't talk that much again due to lack of common interests and because for some reason, I look down on them and the way they live their lives... going to club everyday ... sweet talk with almost every girl... and the girls are that different than the guys. I have also seen many occasions where guys will destroy their friendship for the sake of girls. It makes me look down even more on the club society. 2-In school, I mostly look down on my friends who skip classes. Basically in my case, I never skip one because I don't study at home, so I just recall what the teachers said and rely on it and memorize whatever I need to during the exams in a last minute cramming... it's tiring but it's the least time-consuming way. I wanna play my porn games too . So these friends I do look down on them a lot since they are always skipping classes and when it's time for exams, they ask for my help or keep nagging about how they are screwed and are going to fail and have to go through remedial courses or even repeat the year , I cringe too much at this but I have to help them/listen to their nagging because if they think I don't and want to ignore them because I am busy, I will be shunned away. I wouldn't want this in my highschool days now, would I? Well these two examples and many other examples lead to one sole problem which is whenever I , from my subjective view, think that someone's doing something wrong and doesn't want to say that it is wrong, I look down on people too much people to the degree that I begin to force myself too much just to deal them. I know that I am not perfect but when I thought like this long ago, this made me look down on even myself too much. It was ok at the beginning because I started to improve how I live but with time, I just realized that I am a hopeless case and I keep blaming myself for many things in my life... an endless cycle of regrets and thinking that I am a worthless being and needing at many times people to comfort me/ compliment me. I tried to solve this many times but I just can't. Edit: I just realized that I said I am a narcissist then denied it at the end. Well it started with me being a narcissist then I looked down on many things fron the pure subjective view of morals, diligence...etc..Second problem would be this: Basically I had a childhood friend. We were getting by very well in elementary school then in middle school we became a little faraway , distance started to become big mainly because she chose that we are better off being friends for benefit, aka I will just help her with her studies ..... Anyways during the second year of middle school, I began to think of the reason I am not declining her calls and am answering her and helping with her studies even thou I am not benefiting from this. At this stage, I started to think that I had feelings for her. 4 years later , yeah whole 4 years, I think I submitted to the thought that I have feelings for her. So I decided to go up to her and confess. I used an advice from a friend which was not to get in any relationship before senior year so I didn't tell her I wanted to go out with her. I went to her and told her out of the blue that I want to talk to her and then I told her that I liked her, like her and will probably keep doing so for god knows how long and that I don't really want a reply but I just wanted to take this off my chest. I then left her standing there and walked away, she didn't call for me anyway. After that, I didn't hear from her until like 3 weeks after that (in school, she ignored and avoided me and when I forced conversations, she would just answer me in the most efficient way ... more like a way that doesn't want to converse) and as for out of school, she didn't answer any of my calls and blocked me on almost every social network, and ofc wouldn't answer my texts on whatsapp. For the sake of my picture in front of myself, I didn't pursue further. After these 3 weeks, she told me she was sorry she didn't pick my calls and I said it was ok, then she continued talking about studying-related subjects and didn't bring it up again. I was so afraid to bring it up again so I thought that I should take my friend's advice and stay away from relationships until I finish my senior year ... but 2 months in and I am already more afraid and more impatient. I dunno what I should do or even what her actions mean. Maybe she wants to be a princess and make me chase her or maybe she wanted to send me a clear message " I don't wanna get into a relationship with you" (oh women and their minds, I never understood them). Keep in mind that I aiming for medicine field and she's aiming for engineering field so I dunno if our paths will ever cross each other after senior year (did I mention that she was the reason I was stuck for almost a year about what I want to become because I wanted to be with her... I am sincerely disappointed in myself and how I am easily swayed by my feelings ) Btw this is the first time I have told anyone about my problems (at least the first problem , I asked some people about second problem ... I mean I asked a friend and my parents....so yeah there's that). Sorry about the walls of text , I know it must be a pain to work through all this text and probably my english isn't that good to assist me ;-; . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyrael Posted June 1, 2015 Author Share Posted June 1, 2015 Sooo... My dating profile just went live wish me luck guys rainsismyfav 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flutterz Posted June 1, 2015 Share Posted June 1, 2015 Sooo... My dating profile just went live wish me luck guys Good luck! You've already put in more effort than I have in my entire life, and I actually kissed a girl once! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kenshin_sama Posted June 1, 2015 Share Posted June 1, 2015 I'm working on getting a new rig together and I was wondering if anyone would mind helping me pick out a motherboard? I need something that will fit in an ATX Mid tower, can hold 8GB ram (4 sticks, DDR3), has at least 1 USB 3.0 slot (and 8 USB slots total), and can connect to 2 HDs. I don't need integrated graphics since I'll be using a dedicated GPU, but I will need a couple PCI-E slots for both that and my audio card. Only thing I'm not sure about is which brand to go with and how much money I should be dishing out on this. I know I can probably go a bit lower than this, but I at least want to keep it under $220. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyrael Posted June 1, 2015 Author Share Posted June 1, 2015 Good luck! You've already put in more effort than I have in my entire life, and I actually kissed a girl once! Story pls Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sanahtlig Posted June 1, 2015 Share Posted June 1, 2015 First problem: For the longer part of my time, I have been narcissist .... in a very bad way tbh. I would totally look down on many people in real life. No matter how hard I try, I can't change it. Maybe it stemmed from the fact that I almost always get the best overall marks in my whole grade but the more time goes, the more it affects me worse irl. I will mention two examples: It's not narcissism if you really are better than them. Maybe it's time to find a different circle of friends. Second problem would be this: Basically I had a childhood friend. Sounds like she came running back to you as soon as you had something she wanted. She sounds like the worst kind of parasite. I can only judge from what you've told us, but I would end this relationship ASAP. Confront her again, and if she starts avoiding you again, it's time to move on. You're just being used. The general impression I get from your post is that people are nice to you because you're useful to them. Friendship is a 2-way street. If you're doing all the giving, and you're not getting back anything in return, you're getting the short end of the stick. Prune these parasitic relationships and replace them with relationships of mutual respect. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sanahtlig Posted June 1, 2015 Share Posted June 1, 2015 I'm working on getting a new rig together and I was wondering if anyone would mind helping me pick out a motherboard? I need something that will fit in an ATX Mid tower, can hold 8GB ram (4 sticks, DDR3), has at least 1 USB 3.0 slot (and 8 USB slots total), and can connect to 2 HDs. I don't need integrated graphics since I'll be using a dedicated GPU, but I will need a couple PCI-E slots for both that and my audio card. Only thing I'm not sure about is which brand to go with and how much money I should be dishing out on this. I know I can probably go a bit lower than this, but I at least want to keep it under $220. You can't pick a motherboard without knowing what processor you want. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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