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Tyrael

Ask a Fuwan (Advice thread)

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As our lolicon god some random noob posted in the confessions thread:

 

f1gzzs.jpg

 

So, time for a dedicated advice thread. Have something you want random strangers on the internet's opinions on? Want some useless amazing advice from a bunch of trained experts random fuwans? Well, you're in luck. Just share your questions here!

 

 

I'll start: My therapist has suggested I start with online dating. However, I have very little experience with dating in general and I was wondering if it's a good idea or not. If so, how should I go about it?

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I'll start: My therapist has suggested I start with online dating. However, I have very little experience with dating in general and I was wondering if it's a good idea or not. If so, how should I go about it?

 

Just don't. Most online relationships don't usually end up right. Every case I know didn't work out.

 

Also, there is always room for fooling, so be careful. What kind of therapist is yours?!

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Ignore your therapist's terrible, terrible advice. 

 

Care to elaborate?

 

 

Just don't. Most online relationships don't usually end up right. Every case I know didn't work out.

 

Also, there is always room for fooling, so be careful. What kind of therapist is yours?!

 

He's a licensed therapist trained specifically to help people with an autism spectrum disorder (like me, I have asperger).

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He's a licensed therapist trained specifically to help people with an autism spectrum disorder (like me, I have asperger).

 

There are bad professionals in every area, even if they are well trained. 

 

But why did he suggest that? Like, does he have any specific direct reason?

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It may depend on the method you use as well as many other circumstances. This is anecdotal, but I closely know some people who've established a successful relationship through Tinder, for example, and believe it or not, they are successful people as well. In short, I'm not experienced in the area, but I'm sure that the stereotype of getting easy fellatio off of Craigslist isn't entirely accurate. I don't think you should close your mind entirely to the idea based on how some may imagine it.

 

I'll continue: I'm considering limiting my fapping to four times a day, but I fear I may not be ready for such a gargantuan task. Any tips?

 

:sleep:

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There are bad professionals in every area, even if they are well trained. 

 

But why did he suggest that? Like, does he have any specific direct reason?

 

As another aspie, it's commonly understood that we have a lack of ability in social situations, so he could be drawing from that.  The short of it is that perhaps outside-ness in such areas could be overwhelming, although it definitely varies from person to person.

 

I'm not much for dating-specific sites, as they seem extrovert-specific, though I'm not opposed to meeting someone online either.  Again though, this logic has its faults as well.

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There are bad professionals in every area, even if they are well trained. 

 

But why did he suggest that? Like, does he have any specific direct reason?

 

I have expressed my longing for a serious relationship for some time and while I do go out regularely my interests (table tennis, music, magic: the gathering and politics through my student association) make it so that I rarely get to meet new people, especially girls. As such, he suggested online dating in order for me to be able to meet new people.

 

 

It may depend on the method you use as well as many other circumstances. This is anecdotal, but I closely know some people who've established a successful relationship through Tinder, for example, and believe it or not, they are successful people as well. In short, I'm not experienced in the area, but I'm sure that the stereotype of getting easy fellatio off of Craigslist isn't entirely accurate. I don't think you should close your mind entirely to the idea based on how some may imagine it.

 

I'll continue: I'm considering limiting my fapping to four times a day, but I fear I may not be ready for such a gargantuan task. Any tips?

 

:sleep:

 

I find that exercising helps to keep my urge to masturbate in check.  You can see the rush from exercising as a sort of orgasm of the body and soul if you will. Generally, keeping yourself busy and especially going outside will prevent your mind from wandering to these kinds of things as well.

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I'll continue: I'm considering limiting my fapping to four times a day, but I fear I may not be ready for such a gargantuan task. Any tips?

 

:sleep:

Play Monster Hunter. You won't have time to masturbate.

And don't listen to the loading screens, telling you to take breaks every now and then. They're just jealous.

 

My turn: I'm playing too much Monster Hunter recently, what can I do?

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I'll start: My therapist has suggested I start with online dating. However, I have very little experience with dating in general and I was wondering if it's a good idea or not. If so, how should I go about it?

 

Lots of cynicism in this thread...

 

Dating is nothing more than the procedure of finding out if someone is compatible with you. The only difference between online dating and hooking-up-with-someone-at-the-bar dating is the amount of information you start with and the degree of lying possible. When you meet someone in the bar you have to worry whether that person is hiding a penchant for murder. When you meet someone online you have to worry whether that person is actually 10… AND hiding a penchant for murder.

 

The only other thing that’s different is in the real world you usually meet other people while you’re both doing an activity you each enjoy. So you start out with something in common, which makes things easier. Let’s take the bar example again - you both enjoy booze, I’m sure that is something a lasting relationship can be built upon…

 

At the end of the day I don’t see much wrong with online dating. People say it’s fairly unsuccessful, but so is dating in general. The vast majority of people who date never get together, and those that do enjoy a 50% divorce rate, so online dating in comparison may be slightly more unsuccessful, probably because you both don’t start out drunk which is a real shame, but there’s not too much different about it.

 

And lastly, I don’t think your therapist really expects you to find your one true soul in this exercise, he probably thinks you’ll get other things out of it. Something that'll help with your social condition, and maybe he thinks online dating is a way to engage in this because you don't have to be out getting yourself plastered to start.

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... you both enjoy booze, I’m sure that is something a lasting relationship can be built upon…

Well, you know... Many relationships have endured, solely thanks to booze. 

 

 

... Until a stunning hispanic gardener in his twenties applies for work at the pool or the daughters best friend from college suddenly confesses her interest in older men. God, not even booze could help you through that...  

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I found my ex-gf on the internet and we went out for 6 years, and then I found many many awesome friends, so why not try it out at least? You don't need to find a gf specifically just try something new this is of course without forcing yourself because if you really don't want to do it nothing good is going to came out from the situation.

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Guys, under no circumstances are you to listen to any advice Rooke gives. He was born in the early 1900's. The times have left him in the dust, and in a few years, Rooke will be dust. 

 

As for the original question, go for it. It can't hurt to give it a shot. Just keep an open mind. I've noticed with all of my friends, lasting relationships tended to happen when they weren't looking for it. Thats what happened to me too. It'll be unexpected when it happens I bet. 

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Guys, under no circumstances are you to listen to any advice Rooke gives. He was born in the early 1900's. The times have left him in the dust, and in a few years, Rooke will be dust. 

 

Okay, this made me laugh.

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Play Monster Hunter. You won't have time to masturbate.

And don't listen to the loading screens, telling you to take breaks every now and then. They're just jealous.

 

My turn: I'm playing too much Monster Hunter recently, what can I do?

 

Masturbate more.

In all seriousness, I would suggest exercising as well. It makes you feel good and healthy (that's what it does for me at least) and it helps clear your mind.

 

Lots of cynicism in this thread...

 

Dating is nothing more than the procedure of finding out if someone is compatible with you. The only difference between online dating and hooking-up-with-someone-at-the-bar dating is the amount of information you start with and the degree of lying possible. When you meet someone in the bar you have to worry whether that person is hiding a penchant for murder. When you meet someone online you have to worry whether that person is actually 10… AND hiding a penchant for murder.

 

The only other thing that’s different is in the real world you usually meet other people while you’re both doing an activity you each enjoy. So you start out with something in common, which makes things easier. Let’s take the bar example again - you both enjoy booze, I’m sure that is something a lasting relationship can be built upon…

 

At the end of the day I don’t see much wrong with online dating. People say it’s fairly unsuccessful, but so is dating in general. The vast majority of people who date never get together, and those that do enjoy a 50% divorce rate, so online dating in comparison may be slightly more unsuccessful, probably because you both don’t start out drunk which is a real shame, but there’s not too much different about it.

 

And lastly, I don’t think your therapist really expects you to find your one true soul in this exercise, he probably thinks you’ll get other things out of it. Something that'll help with your social condition, and maybe he thinks online dating is a way to engage in this because you don't have to be out getting yourself plastered to start.

 

Thank you, Rooke. This helped me think about it differently. My opinion of you has changed for the better :sachi:

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Just don't. Most online relationships don't usually end up right. Every case I know didn't work out.

You realize that most relationships (online or not) don't work out, right?  What percentage of romantic relationships do you think lead to marriage?  My guess is somewhere in the 10% or less range.  I'd like to suggest you're a victim of confirmation bias.

 

 

He's a licensed therapist trained specifically to help people with an autism spectrum disorder (like me, I have asperger).

Being in the same boat, I suppose I have some expertise in this area.  Relationship prospects are pretty bleak for someone on the spectrum.  Keep in mind that 50% of marriages in the general population end in divorce.  For people with Asperger's, the divorce rate is 80%.  So even if you find that special someone, your chances of actually holding the relationship together are very bleak.  Sorry for the bad news, but it's important to have realistic expectations.

 

This message has been brought to you by sanahtlig: shattering hopes and dreams, one bit of advice at a time.

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You realize that most relationships (online or not) don't work out, right?  What percentage of romantic relationships do you think lead to marriage?  My guess is somewhere in the 10% or less range.  I'd like to suggest you're a victim of confirmation bias.

 

 

Being in the same boat, I suppose I have some expertise in this area.  Relationship prospects are pretty bleak for someone on the spectrum.  Keep in mind that 50% of marriages in the general population end in divorce.  For people with Asperger's, the divorce rate is 80%.  So even if you find that special someone, your chances of actually holding the relationship together are very bleak.  Sorry for the bad news, but it's important to have realistic expectations.

 

This message has been brought to you by sanahtlig: shattering hopes and dreams, one bit of advice at a time.

 

Yeah, this makes me really sad :(

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As for the original question, go for it. It can't hurt to give it a shot. Just keep an open mind. I've noticed with all of my friends, lasting relationships tended to happen when they weren't looking for it. Thats what happened to me too. It'll be unexpected when it happens I bet. 

Can confirm, haven't been looking for 20 years, am hoping it will eventually happen by itself.

 

 

Doesn't everyone have the need to feel loved though? I sure do... I want to experience the feeling of growing old with someone  :kosame:

Some people don't for whatever reason, possible reasons including being asexual.

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