mjriedstra

I recommend World End Economica. It can teach you some fairly accurate things about how stock trading works (and how it doesn't work), as well as how people react to extreme situations and what drives them to make terrible decisions that seem so plausible at the time.

Yes, it's a novel I wrote.

I don't know if I agree that a word like "pwnage" is sillier than other words. It's redundant, in the sense that "ownage" already means the same thing and is the same number of letters, but "ownage" itself is useful and concise: a single word to express "domination of an opponent to an embarrassing extent." Because modes of communication are so broad and instantaneous now, we're seeing a much faster evolution of language. I think that has unsettled a lot of people — Including myself. But I've come to realize that, for example, leet speak is no more different from modern textbook English than modern textbook English is from Shakespearean English. I don't think modern English is inferior to old forms of English; I also don't think internet short forms are inferior. If anything, the need for brevity and clarity in typed language is improving language as a whole. Computer age language may leave older forms of language behind and create a short generational gap where communication suffers, but future generations may actually benefit. Studies have shown that people can read an English paragraph with all of the vowels removed and still understand it. That's a lot of letters which aren't contributing a whole lot, implying a language in need of serious pruning. Even the way I'm formally typing all of this out in proper English is more out of habit than because I think this way is superior. u dig?

"You mean i should describer their apearance?" No, I didn't necessarily mean that you need to describe the characters more. I meant that because the reader has no visual references, we need more time with each character in order to solidly differentiate them in our minds. "Im event hinking about not writing chapters on his POV because i want te reader to try to understan d his way of thinking without "reading" his mind, a sort of way fo constructing characters by drawing a "silhoutte" of him from the outside. What do you think." I think it's an interesting concept. It certainly will test your writing and the reader's imagination more if the "main" character is never a narrative/perspective character. I can't say whether it's right or wrong for your story since it will all come down to your execution. I do like the idea that you want to avoid "telling" the story directly through the character's thoughts. That will encourage you to "show" more of his actions from the perspectives of those around him. "i might have to use a different plataform of posting it, forums aren´t speacially suited for longer fiction, do you have suggestions?" I personally have published some work on Wattpad, which is currently the world's largest site for posting free fiction and getting readers and feedback. Fair warning that if you request criticism there, it may be harsh, but there's a huge and active community. I'll post the link to the Wattpad page of one of my works. https://www.wattpad.com/story/6563621-no-life-to-lose There's a forum there specifically for people to offer or receive help with their writing as well: https://www.wattpad.com/club/27-improve-your-writing

Oh, something I forgot to mention. Your characters all have a lot of potential to be compelling and it seems like you've put a lot of thought into their back stories and personalities. Just keep in mind that the reader doesn't know your characters the way you do yet. Introducing them at such a fast pace, with three completely distinct sets of characters in three chapters, isn't necessarily wrong to do, but since the chapters are short and the names and places are unfamiliar, there's a danger that the reader could feel lost. You could consider some some options for mitigating this effect. For example, making the chapters more robust to give the characters time to interact and firm up their names and personalities in the minds of the reader, or to spread out the introductions over a larger number of chapters. Unlike in a TV show or a VN, where images help solidify the differences between characters and can even convey personality traits, in a purely written work the reader's mind needs time to anchor the characters and their traits. Or if it eventually turns into a whole novel, you could do what George R. R. Martin does and include a whole list of characters and their relationships to each other that the reader can reference. I don't personally subscribe to that method, but in some cases it's almost necessary.

Not related to the thread, but your avatar made me think for a second about the topic. I think derpina is highly likely to commit NTR without even realizing. Carry on.

Hello, Clint. Welcome aboard! Don't worry about your art being different than the "norm". Art by definition is creative, and creativity knows no bounds. If your work is interesting, people will enjoy it regardless of the form. Since you're new to the VN scene, I highly suggest checking out some of the VNDB (Visual Novel Database) lists that people have so you can get some idea of what's popular and what has gotten good reviews. Many of the regulars have a "VNDB" link beneath their avatar that will take you to their personal list.

Interesting chapter. The dynamic between the governor and his secretary is nice and is clearly leading to some important event. Curious to know what will happen to her as she wanders around the city. I like the introduction of some technology here. The pod / shuttle being a dead zone for electronics is a good detail, and landing on a kinetic dampener is a fun idea. it starts to give the reader a sense of the technological level of the society we're dealing with. The moral arguments from both sides regarding the righteousness of slavery (or lack thereof) is obviously the lynchpin of the plot, and in that way this reminds me of the Heroic Legend of Arlsan. Not sure if you've seen it, but if you're bored you may want to check it out. The settings are opposite, but the underlying theme is similar. I won't delve too deeply into the technical side of the writing, but I think it's worth mentioning that if you would like to increase your audience and get detailed feedback about your story, it's worth taking the time to do a serious edit to bring it up to a high technical standard to get more people interested. Don't be embarrassed to ask someone to do it for you if necessary. Most writers don't do their own editing, as it can be hard to see the trees for the forest (so to speak) when you're the one who has created the work. Instead of reading what you actually put on the page, it's very easy to only see the story as it exists in your head, since you already know what it's supposed to say.

I think G-senjou no Maou is the best VN I have played. Reasons being: 1) Morally ambiguous protagonist and no clearly heroic / perfect characters - much more realistic cast than most stories 2) Bad endings that actually make sense, have story, and are a clear result of an obvious path that the protagonist could have easily walked 3) True ending that is clever, believable, and both hopeful and tragic at the same time The game has some flaws, such as a mild over-reliance on not particularly clever "dumb comedy" for some of the lighter moments, as well as at least one heroine that some people may find hard to like. But overall, it's a masterpiece.

I'm interested in how the art style of the sprites is closer to realistic than to a traditional anime style. The detail work in the BG is nice as well, with the light through the windows and the patterns on the tiles. Keep up the good work.

Clannad has a ton of awesome music. Including one of the few instances of complete gibberish being capable of making me tear up every time: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zVNj8pE-VIo

The flow of information is more natural now. It comes out in Omar's dialogue rather than purely through the narration, which I think is a good change. One thing I'm curious about is the line you added about the class exploding in laughter when he says, "...but don't tell the Caliph I said that." This implies to me that all the students realize that what he said is blasphemous, and that they aren't bothered by it at all; there's a general acceptance that things need to change. Is that the intended subtext? It seems like a big deal for a personal friend of the caliph to be so open about the unrest. That's a very interesting dynamic.

I'm quite surprised by the number of people saying they prefer games with no or few H-scenes. Then again I'm not sure why I'm surprised, since the game I'm developing myself doesn't have any. Hmm.

I don't really consider whether a VN has sexual content or not when deciding whether to play it. I will give anything a try if it has half-decent reviews/reputation or if it looks interesting to me personally. I consider the sex aspect to be like in real life: sex happens. It's not that strange. It's also not at all necessary to telling a good story, so it's fine either way.

Since somehow this many posts have gone by without anyone recommending it already, I will. Check out Steins;gate.

I'm surprised how many people are so keyed in on whether they include the sexual content or not. I personally think Muv-Luv is amazing, but of everything in it, the adult content is by far the least relevant. It's not even particularly well done compared to the caliber of the rest of the content. With G-senjou for example, I don't think you'd have the same product if you took out the adult portion. Muv-Luv might actually be better without it.

I see. That makes sense. If I ever try to rise above my utter and complete lack of ability as an artist, I'll keep that in mind. Completely unrelated, but I didn't notice until just now that your CC avatar blinks. I kept looking away from the screen and feeling like something was moving; then I would look back and nothing was. Damn you, CC. Always manipulating people from the shadows.

Welcome! Good avatar, as the person above me has clearly recognized. Wish there had been more Kami-sama scenes in G-senjou.

If this is an art project and not a marketing project, isn't the important part your artwork? If the main focus is the marketing aspect, that's something completely different.

Collectible cards of famous works of art and/or artists?

No reason to hate yourself for things you can't help. Of course, it's easier said than done to change the way you look at yourself, but it's still easier than to change what you can't change. Confession: I often secretly enjoy VN characters that torment others for no good reason, like Aoi in Hoshizora. Even though I dislike those types of people IRL.

A collectible card set based on characters from a VN?

Nice sketch vid. It's interesting how often you flip the image back and forth while working on the sketch. Is that common practice for artists?

I don't know if I'll even try it out. I used to play, and I thought that what was good about the game and what differentiated it from other TCGs was how accessible it was. Lately when I try to play I don't even recognize the cards. I feel like it's going off in some direction that's making it less friendly to new players and players that don't play often. Not that there's necessarily anything wrong with that. Curious to see whether the player base grows or shrinks over the next while.

I like the idea of making a list of slightly lesser-known anime that are unique and interesting. Then I would vote for stuff like Katanagatari. Although I don't know how you would police what's lesser-known vs. what isn't.