mjriedstra

Someone already said Kara no Shoujo, but I'll say it again just because it's for real. I'm not very easily surprised by disturbing content but that game surprised the heck out of me a couple of times.

Um, false I guess. If I had any I wanted to hang up, I would, but I haven't had a poster in 20 years. Hmm. Now that I think about it, I'm not sure why I stopped putting them up. Next person believes in alien abduction.

Oh, exciting. I'd love to contribute, but currently I'm tied up in my own projects. In the future, as spare time allows, maybe I will submit some reviews. Good luck with the revamp!

I can see the influence of Dune. Politics are clearly an important part of the world you're building. Lots of room to build intrigue. The shadowing is already beginning in the prologue with the professor himself and the way he skirts the subject of unrest despite everyone's obvious interest in it. I think you're off to a good start there. The introduction of the governor builds on that, and by the end of the first chapter it's already become clear that some sort of serious civil movement is about to break into active rebellion. As a whole, the hook is good and the subject matter seems interesting. I can see it grabbing people with even a small interest in space politics, which is a pretty interesting sub-genre (to me at least). In terms of structure, the first two paragraphs might turn people away even if they are the type to be interested in the subject matter, just because of how much background information and universe-building you do without taking a breath. Details about the caliph, the revolution, the professor, their relationship, etc. might be better served in smaller doses later on as they become relevant. It feels like the purpose of your prologue is inform the reader about the universe first, and then to build a sense of intrigue and of a galaxy that might be teetering on the edge much more so than its inhabitants realize, but doing both in a single page may be working against you. It could be more effective to focus on the underlying tensions and avoid details that break the mood and flow. Breaking up the sentences would help the flow as well. Some of your paragraphs are written as enormous sentences with a dozen or more commas. Periods create pauses for the reader to absorb information, and let you compartmentalize related ideas. In all, interesting concept. Keep at it! If there's more in the future, I'll check it out.

I'm still laughing over the person who thought that Yui was smothering Raku to death a few chapters ago. That would have been an even more surprising ending than Ichigo 100%.

The animation in School Days didn't bother me. Although I'm not that picky when it comes to animation, so maybe that isn't saying much. If you're going to choose between the anime and the VN, choose the VN. The anime scarred me.

Oh, Gurren Lagann, great choice. Glad people haven't forgotten that one. To me, Fooly Cooly is comedy more than anything. It is pretty tough to classify though. I was thinking about nominating the Bakemonogatari series, but couldn't wrap my brain around what kind of show it is, even though I've seen the whole thing twice.

I like the "distressed" look of the media that the character portraits are on. The faded edges and blotchiness makes me think of a "target photo" that an assassin might carry around as a reference. Is that what you were going for, or am I just imagining a correlation?

Welcome aboard. Any chance you have a sample portfolio of your music in case people are interested? I wouldn't mind checking it out.

Hi there! Thanks for posting. Are you looking for a critique of style and grammar, or only for opinions on the content of the story? I'm happy to give my opinion once I know what sort of feedback you prefer.

Oh, this seems fun, and potentially useful since people often seem to ask the community for recommendations. I nominate Toradora for comedy, Steins;gate for sci-fi, Cross Game for sports and Shingeki no Kyojin (Attack on Titan) for action. Even just my own personal list could be a hundred things long but ... since it's for everyone's input, I guess each person should only nominate a few? Or perhaps, only add items that more than one person recommends?

I love the originality of becoming Mother Nature. That's actually I concept I've never heard of before. It seems like the popularity of Otome as a genre is growing a lot recently, so hopefully you can capitalize on that ... although you didn't mention that word anywhere, so maybe to you this isn't an Otome game at all. Do you feel that would be a misclassification on my part? Anyway, good luck! Seems like an interesting project.

I'm really interested to see how Azumi's route goes. I tried playing part of it in Japanese but my understanding isn't at a good enough level to really enjoy it. I hope this translation works out. Keep at it, guys!

My personal favorite novel of all time is Cryptonomicon by Neal Stephenson. It's not exactly approachable or accessible, but if you can appreciate Stephenson's unique prose, it's one of the most interesting and varied works of fiction out there. For sci-fi, I'd say Orson Scott Card's Ender series, though I still feel that Ender's Game was the best even though it was the first. For overall favorite series, probably Lincoln & Child's Pendergast series, or Kellerman's Alex Delaware series.

The art style looks pretty unique, and just the use of the word "vernacular" makes me believe that the phrase "Japanese setting but using Native English vernacular and vocabulary" is true. Although Otome isn't my genre, this seems interesting. Good luck!

Kazuko's route isn't anything like that. It tackles a more serious issue than most games, in a very realistic way considering the setting, and doesn't end with the usual" shounen power--up overcoming all adversity for no plausible reason." As for sequels, my perception is that previously, there was a strong trend to make a "sequel" only in the sense that a game kept the title and adds a "2" or "3" but had all new characters and very little relation to previous versions. See Canvas, To Heart, Da Capo, etc. Lately, there's started to be a shift toward "episodic releases," which you could call true sequels in that they pick up directly where other chapters left off. World End Economica, Rose Guns Days, Sunrider. But you could also say that these are actually just games broken up into parts to be sold more than once. Old games like Fate/Stay Night and Clannad are so large that they almost certainly would be broken down and sold as individual routes or packages of routes like Majikoi A if they were to be created from scratch today.

I think a great VN to start out with is Clannad. Someone already mentioned Rewrite, which is also excellent and by the same team. If you don't mind something with a small gameplay element, one of my personal favorites is Symphonic Rain.

I don't know if manga with a sports element interest you, but I've found a lot of stories by Adachi Mitsuru have some of the best subtle relationships as well as excellent sports elements. For example, Cross Game or H20. Something light (and arguably stupid, but hilarious): Nisekoi Complex relationships and unique subject matter: Yasashii Sekai no Tsukurikata (wish there were more chapters)

Don't let your experiences elsewhere get you down. Keep at it. There will definitely be people who will appreciate what you've done when you finish. And hey, as long as you're proud of your own work and feel like it was worthwhile, the rest is all gravy. Gambatte kudasai!

That's a very interesting point of view. I tend to agree from the standpoint of traditional forms of fiction. As a writer and editor, a lot of what I see in VNs drives me nuts. Rambling prose, filler scene after filler scene with no advancement of plot or characterization at all, and endless conversations about food in stories that have nothing to do with food. However, I've come to realize that a lot of VN fans seem to want this sort of thing, and I've even started to appreciate it myself. VNs take slice of life to an artistic level, even in stories that are not about slice of life at all. It can be really relaxing just to fall into some other existence that is completely inconsequential. Not every moment has to be in tense anticipation of the next major plot point. Most VNs seem to be in a style that reminds me of a 26 or 52 episode anime, rather than a 6 episode mini-series or an anime theatrical feature. To get that many episodes out, you either need a ton of small arcs that are actually complete stories in disguise, or you need filler. And filler isn't always bad, though it took me forever to realize it.

I'd recommend Kara no Shoujo. It's been a while but I don't remember there being any messing around in that one. It's also not supernatural at all. Fair warning that it's dark and depressing, however. It's crime fiction.

Good luck with your submission tomorrow. That's exciting. Also nerve-wracking I imagine. I self-published my novel, originally through Smashwords and later through Amazon and Wattpad. On Wattpad, it's free. https://www.wattpad.com/story/6563621-no-life-to-lose I haven't used Scribophile. I'm basically inactive in the writing scene at the moment since I'm focusing on my current project, which is a VN (hence me being here instead).

Hi Jade. That was an interesting read. It's true that the grammar and structure needs some work, but it was enough to make me curious. Is this intended to be a book, or text for a visual novel? The very last line was great. Before even deciding to read the whole thing, I skimmed it and that was the line that caught me.

Currently replaying Majikoi S, stalled on Cross Channel and about to start World End Economica ep 2. Been waiting for that for over a year so I'm savoring the buildup. ... Or I'm lazily putting it off because I'm busy. Or both!

BC, Canada for me. According to the census data on the previous page, there's a lot of Canadians relative to our small population. Awesome.