Black Sands Entertainment

Let me put a public disclaimer before I go in on this post. I do not respond in a hostile way to almost all critiques but this was not a critique, it was a character assassination on the level of Trumpism.
 
It seems you read my entire script and all my references through your Byakugan eyes.

I will shred your critique apart since it was a hostile attempt to sound educated while belittling me.
"Akkadian is a language for ancient Mesopotamia people, not a culture."
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Akkadian_Empire
The Akkadian Empire was the empire that predated the Sumerians.
Next.
"Kushite Religion is very limit, there is basically no research done on it."
The reason its called Kemetic-Kushite culture is because they were one and the same. They worshipped the same gods, exchanged gods, and had the same cultural norms.
"you will run into Canaan vs Bible reference battles, its best to understand why the two are not the same."
I am using the book of enoch as my reference since historically it is based on both the biblical and canaanite religious bases. All historians agree on this.
Additionally, who said this game was about the bible? Not I. 
"Hindu mythology is way different, it never has been connected with the bible while everything else has in some way shape or just plan added."
"We incorporate ancient Kemetic-Kushite, Canaanite, Akkadian, Minoan, Greek, and Hindu mythology into the Black Sands universe while tying them all together with the ancient alien theory as the base. This will bring new fans to the genre as the ancient alien gaming world is an untapped market and the cultures of the middle east and black community would love to have heroes that look like them. "

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ancient_astronaut_hypothesis
So unless you somehow missed the multiple references to the ancient alien theory or just have no clue what it is, you should not be saying how my research is off.I would not say Elves from the lord of the rings is not the same as "elves from the norse mythologies therefore tolkien is an idiot.:"

He wasnt writing about ancient Norse mythology. He based his writings on it. I am done.
 

Genre:Adventure, Investigative, Management, and psychological Visual Novel   Platforms:PC, Mac, Linux, PS4   Languages:English (Fully Voiced), English (Text)   Visual Style: DreamWorks style graphics mixed with dark and mythological themes.   Progress:~20% of the game completed. (20 hour game)   Estimated release:~Summer 2017   “Whether friend or tyrant, I will become a King!"   Welcome to the Rift, a dimensional tear located in Canaan where the ancient gods were created and where you must prove your worthiness to lead the world of men. You have allies and the training needed to fight, but nothing will prepare you for the wonders and horrors of the unstable plains in the Rift.     Manage Respect, Relationships, and Mental will when making decisions. Assigning team members to missions best suited for them. Discovering weaknesses to epic enemies through investigations. Collecting real world lore and in game lore by discovering hidden items. Unlocking secrets of the past by collecting memory gems. Making timed decisions and avoiding damage in high intensity situations. Leveling up your characters to specialize in unique skills.     Time   In the game, everything will cost time to complete and characters may be away, unable to do a task available. Time is managed by the player and he has 6 months to prepare to face Nun. Special events will happen at certain times such as full moon cycles, changing of season, etc. This will give the player a level of management that makes them feel immersed.   Leveling   Each character has core stats which helps them succeed in feats. Completing certain missions and training will gain you very limited talent points to specialize your character in lore friendly ways.     Respect   You are a leader. You must earn the respect of your soldiers! Decisions you make and the success of those decisions will affect the confidence your allies have in you. If you fail a lot, they will lose confidence and go rogue during critical decisions. You may even lose command. A true Pharaoh never loses command…       Kinship   While how successful you are in decision making and your sense in the field affects the way they see you, it does not help one bit on how they think of you as a person. In order to get on their good side, you must appeal to their innate personalities. One cannot please everyone so make your choices wisely. It is worth noting that Kinship affects how allies act when not around you or when not commanded.     Stability   You are the strongest. Unfortunately, you are also the most flawed… You have an issue with Dementia and you must suppress these voices throughout your time in the Rift. The tradeoff is considerable though because when you were young, and you let the voices run wild, you could do things others could only dream of. In these dark days, will you allow your mind to slip in order to wield more power or will you avoid such pleasures and rely on knowledge of self?     The rift has stood for thousands of years, since the day Nun arrived from the planet Nibiru. Located in the barren lands of Canaan, this void was created to keep the outside world uncontaminated while Nun worked on his creations. He spent centuries studying the humans and when he figured out this world, he created ancients similar to the life found on his home planet. They warred with each other inside the Rift until only 3 families remained. When they left the Rift, Nun used a stability gem to alter reality and hide the incomprehensible damage done. But now, thousands of years since the great sundering, Nun has created another race of beings to combat his creations from ions past. In order for them to prove themselves, they must survive the Rift, as it were during the time of the ancients. Stability is no more! Can the mortals survive the Trials of the Rift?   There are many different types of quests in Black Sands. We will briefly go through some of them to better understand the gameplay mechanics involved in each. In Black Sands, time, health, and deployment all work against you as you stride to prepare yourself for the final battle with Nun.   Scouting - designed to seek new quests exclusively. Minimal danger   Investigation - A quest that requires discipline and perception. Player must decipher material and decide what is important and not. Proper investigation rewards secrets.   Tracking - This is an extremely heavy skill check category that requires quick decision making and a little luck. These missions are available only once before they go back into the quest pool.   Social - This is a quest where you develop relationships with the other characters and learn more about them.   Instant Events - Automatically happen when certain criteria are met. May have nothing to do with prior tasks.   Group Events - The entire group must participate. Nun will go over your notes and inspect your facility whenever this happens.   Epic Events - Storyline Events that are either triggered by actions or chose by the player. These tend to have more decision making then other events.   Exploration - A quest designed to explore unknown locations. These quests have no prior knowledge so player must use their wits to move forward. The farther you get, the better the rewards. These missions can be ended at any time but there is no guarantee you can return.     This game is directly inspired by Dragon Age and Telltale. Their strong narratives and crucial game changing decisions inspired me to design a visual novel unlike any before it.   Additional motivation was found in the way Hollywood depicts middle eastern and Saharan people. We do a lot of research and use annotations in game to teach the actual history behind the fantasy of our world.   Future   We will be converting all sprites to Live2d and making them look a bit more realistic and 20x more brutal. The goal is to make this like Conan while having the art leveling of pixar, dreamworks.     How can I help?   Follow us on facebook, Cosplay our characters, Share the hell out of this, and Pay homage to the gods by buying some of our merchandise.   Don’t forget to sign up for the newsletter and remember, Nun sees all.   We have these posters and more. You can support us while getting something tangible that will uplift both you and your families.     Facebook Twitter Official Page Official Store Youtube

Transforming what we expect from the OELVN market


 
Whenever I talk to communities that play visual novels, there is always a kneejerk reaction when you say OELVN. To many, they are the bane of the visual novel world. All of the player base agrees that there were many well done and even groundbreaking OELVNs developed but for the most part, they are done poorly and use common tropes that can be redundant at times.

The fact of the matter is that OELVNs tend to be indies, have much lower budgets then Japanese VNs, and do tend to stick to the script more than change things up. This is why I am writing this now. I am pioneering a movement to completely recreate what it means to be an OELVN.

Many may say, “That is too ambitious for an indie” but I will not be stopped. Months ago I launched a kickstarter for my game but I didn’t invest enough capital to get quality art so it was ignored. This was entirely my fault. I then adapted and started making sure my original and very different idea was presented with all the bells and whistles needed to grab the attention of the player base. With that attention, I can begin to explain what I intend to do to change the game.

OELVN to Western VN

An OELVN is not much different from a Japanese VN. In fact, they are so similar that people that know of OELVNs tend to call them low budget or indies as a bad stigma. There are exceptions like Unwonted Studios and Winterwolves but for the most part, the stigma is very real. What is my solution to this?

Make a Western VN. How can you compare or stigmatize something that has no equivalent? If it has no equivalent then you must judge it based on your own personal experience with it. There are many American developers out there that try to place stories in japan and use the common. The setting of my game is in the ancient middle east. It also has elements of the ancient alien theory and historical references of many different pantheons during the time of 3500 BCE. This has never been done before, not even in video gaming as a whole. But to understand why it Is different, we must look into individual changes that make the experience different from a normal VN.

Art Style

Since the story is different, more serious, and from a certain period, we chose to use art that looks digital but has a comic like styling to it. All armor, clothing, and backgrounds are based on alien technology and period architecture/writing.

Music

We tend to make most songs fit the location of the game but we do not allow that to stop us from adding a few Asian songs to capture the mood. The music is intense and matches the flow of the game.

Flow

The game has short chapters spanning no longer then 10 minutes each. There is a world map and different type of quest which require tactical decision making and exploration. There is very little internal monologue and the viewpoint is omniscient even though you only control the main character. It will feel like mini-episodes of a very big series where you develop characters and become attached to their own personal goals.

Relationships

Unlike in other games with a BxG relationship in the genre, we have incorporated a very different mechanic to how ours works. First, you as the main player will be competing for the love of the female lead. Your actions can cause her to love or hate you and the other character’s actions can do the same. You can very well FAIL to get the girl and even more, lose the girl to your rival.

Additionally, all the characters in the game will react, listen, and follow you differently based on the reputation you acquire throughout the game. Your decisions will make them great allies or reasons for your death!

Insanity

The main character has psychological issues that he must conquer. Throughout the game you will come across spirits messing with your mind and as a result, you must either embrace these ideas or suppress them. By embracing them, you gain new powers that are extremely powerful BUT by giving away your autonomy, you also lose the ability to think rationally in situations where you have to use self-control.

Questing

Unlike other games which stick to one type of mini-game throughout the story, Black Sands offers many. There will be investigations, tracking missions, and random skill check progressions. Each one requires a completely different set of skills.

Exploration

The world lore of Black Sands is deep with mystery and discovery. While the player can choose to stick to the main path of the story, they will most likely engage in the side stories to discover the secrets of the rift. Every secret unlocks a journal entry and we have an in game encyclopedia that will explain all the lore.

Historical References

When you unlock lore entries, you get the real world context from which it was created including sources. This adds a level of education to a fantasy game that is never done.

Main Character

A common complaint about VNs as a whole is the main character being too needy and weak. In this game, the main character is a vicious fighter with an exceptional command over people. He suffers from Dementia but focuses himself using “knowledge of self” and meditation. You as the player will tell his story in your own personalized journal which will be sharable online.

Victory Conditions

In Black Sands, every turn cost time. Events happen based on the time and when you meet an obstacle for the first time, you get a progress bar on the top right. The more you learn about the obstacle, the more “confidence” you have you can deal with it. This helps you in the events that happen when you take on that challenge OR when that challenge decides to take on you. If you do not prepare well, you may be forced into a very bad situation but if you prepare for the coming enemy etc, you will succeed.

Theme

We incorporate ancient Kemetic-Kushite, Canaanite, Akkadian, Minoan, Greek, and Hindu mythology into the Black Sands universe while tying them all together with the ancient alien theory as the base. This will bring new fans to the genre as the ancient alien gaming world is an untapped market and the cultures of the middle east and black community would love to have heroes that look like them.


 
Thus, we are moving forward, ever aggressive and ever vigilant. If you have any questions or critiques, please comment below.


 

Let me put a public disclaimer before I go in on this post. I do not respond in a hostile way to almost all critiques but this was not a critique, it was a character assassination on the level of Trumpism.
 
It seems you read my entire script and all my references through your Byakugan eyes.

I will shred your critique apart since it was a hostile attempt to sound educated while belittling me.
"Akkadian is a language for ancient Mesopotamia people, not a culture."
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Akkadian_Empire
The Akkadian Empire was the empire that predated the Sumerians.
Next.
"Kushite Religion is very limit, there is basically no research done on it."
The reason its called Kemetic-Kushite culture is because they were one and the same. They worshipped the same gods, exchanged gods, and had the same cultural norms.
"you will run into Canaan vs Bible reference battles, its best to understand why the two are not the same."
I am using the book of enoch as my reference since historically it is based on both the biblical and canaanite religious bases. All historians agree on this.
Additionally, who said this game was about the bible? Not I. 
"Hindu mythology is way different, it never has been connected with the bible while everything else has in some way shape or just plan added."
"We incorporate ancient Kemetic-Kushite, Canaanite, Akkadian, Minoan, Greek, and Hindu mythology into the Black Sands universe while tying them all together with the ancient alien theory as the base. This will bring new fans to the genre as the ancient alien gaming world is an untapped market and the cultures of the middle east and black community would love to have heroes that look like them. "

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ancient_astronaut_hypothesis
So unless you somehow missed the multiple references to the ancient alien theory or just have no clue what it is, you should not be saying how my research is off.I would not say Elves from the lord of the rings is not the same as "elves from the norse mythologies therefore tolkien is an idiot.:"

He wasnt writing about ancient Norse mythology. He based his writings on it. I am done.
 

Transforming what we expect from the OELVN market


 
Whenever I talk to communities that play visual novels, there is always a kneejerk reaction when you say OELVN. To many, they are the bane of the visual novel world. All of the player base agrees that there were many well done and even groundbreaking OELVNs developed but for the most part, they are done poorly and use common tropes that can be redundant at times.

The fact of the matter is that OELVNs tend to be indies, have much lower budgets then Japanese VNs, and do tend to stick to the script more than change things up. This is why I am writing this now. I am pioneering a movement to completely recreate what it means to be an OELVN.

Many may say, “That is too ambitious for an indie” but I will not be stopped. Months ago I launched a kickstarter for my game but I didn’t invest enough capital to get quality art so it was ignored. This was entirely my fault. I then adapted and started making sure my original and very different idea was presented with all the bells and whistles needed to grab the attention of the player base. With that attention, I can begin to explain what I intend to do to change the game.

OELVN to Western VN

An OELVN is not much different from a Japanese VN. In fact, they are so similar that people that know of OELVNs tend to call them low budget or indies as a bad stigma. There are exceptions like Unwonted Studios and Winterwolves but for the most part, the stigma is very real. What is my solution to this?

Make a Western VN. How can you compare or stigmatize something that has no equivalent? If it has no equivalent then you must judge it based on your own personal experience with it. There are many American developers out there that try to place stories in japan and use the common. The setting of my game is in the ancient middle east. It also has elements of the ancient alien theory and historical references of many different pantheons during the time of 3500 BCE. This has never been done before, not even in video gaming as a whole. But to understand why it Is different, we must look into individual changes that make the experience different from a normal VN.

Art Style

Since the story is different, more serious, and from a certain period, we chose to use art that looks digital but has a comic like styling to it. All armor, clothing, and backgrounds are based on alien technology and period architecture/writing.

Music

We tend to make most songs fit the location of the game but we do not allow that to stop us from adding a few Asian songs to capture the mood. The music is intense and matches the flow of the game.

Flow

The game has short chapters spanning no longer then 10 minutes each. There is a world map and different type of quest which require tactical decision making and exploration. There is very little internal monologue and the viewpoint is omniscient even though you only control the main character. It will feel like mini-episodes of a very big series where you develop characters and become attached to their own personal goals.

Relationships

Unlike in other games with a BxG relationship in the genre, we have incorporated a very different mechanic to how ours works. First, you as the main player will be competing for the love of the female lead. Your actions can cause her to love or hate you and the other character’s actions can do the same. You can very well FAIL to get the girl and even more, lose the girl to your rival.

Additionally, all the characters in the game will react, listen, and follow you differently based on the reputation you acquire throughout the game. Your decisions will make them great allies or reasons for your death!

Insanity

The main character has psychological issues that he must conquer. Throughout the game you will come across spirits messing with your mind and as a result, you must either embrace these ideas or suppress them. By embracing them, you gain new powers that are extremely powerful BUT by giving away your autonomy, you also lose the ability to think rationally in situations where you have to use self-control.

Questing

Unlike other games which stick to one type of mini-game throughout the story, Black Sands offers many. There will be investigations, tracking missions, and random skill check progressions. Each one requires a completely different set of skills.

Exploration

The world lore of Black Sands is deep with mystery and discovery. While the player can choose to stick to the main path of the story, they will most likely engage in the side stories to discover the secrets of the rift. Every secret unlocks a journal entry and we have an in game encyclopedia that will explain all the lore.

Historical References

When you unlock lore entries, you get the real world context from which it was created including sources. This adds a level of education to a fantasy game that is never done.

Main Character

A common complaint about VNs as a whole is the main character being too needy and weak. In this game, the main character is a vicious fighter with an exceptional command over people. He suffers from Dementia but focuses himself using “knowledge of self” and meditation. You as the player will tell his story in your own personalized journal which will be sharable online.

Victory Conditions

In Black Sands, every turn cost time. Events happen based on the time and when you meet an obstacle for the first time, you get a progress bar on the top right. The more you learn about the obstacle, the more “confidence” you have you can deal with it. This helps you in the events that happen when you take on that challenge OR when that challenge decides to take on you. If you do not prepare well, you may be forced into a very bad situation but if you prepare for the coming enemy etc, you will succeed.

Theme

We incorporate ancient Kemetic-Kushite, Canaanite, Akkadian, Minoan, Greek, and Hindu mythology into the Black Sands universe while tying them all together with the ancient alien theory as the base. This will bring new fans to the genre as the ancient alien gaming world is an untapped market and the cultures of the middle east and black community would love to have heroes that look like them.


 
Thus, we are moving forward, ever aggressive and ever vigilant. If you have any questions or critiques, please comment below.


 

You can start by dropping that silly term "oelvn". Genre cohesion and feeling special do not go hand in hand that well.

Let me put a public disclaimer before I go in on this post. I do not respond in a hostile way to almost all critiques but this was not a critique, it was a character assassination on the level of Trumpism.
 
It seems you read my entire script and all my references through your Byakugan eyes.

I will shred your critique apart since it was a hostile attempt to sound educated while belittling me.
"Akkadian is a language for ancient Mesopotamia people, not a culture."
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Akkadian_Empire
The Akkadian Empire was the empire that predated the Sumerians.
Next.
"Kushite Religion is very limit, there is basically no research done on it."
The reason its called Kemetic-Kushite culture is because they were one and the same. They worshipped the same gods, exchanged gods, and had the same cultural norms.
"you will run into Canaan vs Bible reference battles, its best to understand why the two are not the same."
I am using the book of enoch as my reference since historically it is based on both the biblical and canaanite religious bases. All historians agree on this.
Additionally, who said this game was about the bible? Not I. 
"Hindu mythology is way different, it never has been connected with the bible while everything else has in some way shape or just plan added."
"We incorporate ancient Kemetic-Kushite, Canaanite, Akkadian, Minoan, Greek, and Hindu mythology into the Black Sands universe while tying them all together with the ancient alien theory as the base. This will bring new fans to the genre as the ancient alien gaming world is an untapped market and the cultures of the middle east and black community would love to have heroes that look like them. "

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ancient_astronaut_hypothesis
So unless you somehow missed the multiple references to the ancient alien theory or just have no clue what it is, you should not be saying how my research is off.I would not say Elves from the lord of the rings is not the same as "elves from the norse mythologies therefore tolkien is an idiot.:"

He wasnt writing about ancient Norse mythology. He based his writings on it. I am done.
 

It's wonderful that you're aiming for the sky, and it's even more wonderful to see clear progress towards your goals, like the lovely artwork you've posted in other threads and the detailed background information in this thread. But I'd offer one small suggestion: you might temper your rhetoric just a little bit. Claiming that you're doing something big that "has never been done before" can alienate audiences, especially pedantic people (read: most of the internet). If they can dig up some example, however obscure, then you can find yourself in an argument that isn't interesting or useful, and that shifts the focus away from your work. I think you're clearly doing great work - whenever possible, let it speak for itself.

Encyclopedia is great but it wouldnt hurt to use footnotes or little pop up messages explaining what a certain term means or signifiy. 
Japanese VNs do it all the time like explaining the significance of certain Japanese festivals, cultures, rituals, or food in a little message box that appears on the top right or left of the screen. This beats having to make the reader open a separate menu to browse for the term. 

O_O

Let me put a public disclaimer before I go in on this post. I do not respond in a hostile way to almost all critiques but this was not a critique, it was a character assassination on the level of Trumpism.
 
It seems you read my entire script and all my references through your Byakugan eyes.

I will shred your critique apart since it was a hostile attempt to sound educated while belittling me.
"Akkadian is a language for ancient Mesopotamia people, not a culture."
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Akkadian_Empire
The Akkadian Empire was the empire that predated the Sumerians.
Next.
"Kushite Religion is very limit, there is basically no research done on it."
The reason its called Kemetic-Kushite culture is because they were one and the same. They worshipped the same gods, exchanged gods, and had the same cultural norms.
"you will run into Canaan vs Bible reference battles, its best to understand why the two are not the same."
I am using the book of enoch as my reference since historically it is based on both the biblical and canaanite religious bases. All historians agree on this.
Additionally, who said this game was about the bible? Not I. 
"Hindu mythology is way different, it never has been connected with the bible while everything else has in some way shape or just plan added."
"We incorporate ancient Kemetic-Kushite, Canaanite, Akkadian, Minoan, Greek, and Hindu mythology into the Black Sands universe while tying them all together with the ancient alien theory as the base. This will bring new fans to the genre as the ancient alien gaming world is an untapped market and the cultures of the middle east and black community would love to have heroes that look like them. "

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ancient_astronaut_hypothesis
So unless you somehow missed the multiple references to the ancient alien theory or just have no clue what it is, you should not be saying how my research is off.I would not say Elves from the lord of the rings is not the same as "elves from the norse mythologies therefore tolkien is an idiot.:"

He wasnt writing about ancient Norse mythology. He based his writings on it. I am done.
 

Transforming what we expect from the OELVN market


 
Whenever I talk to communities that play visual novels, there is always a kneejerk reaction when you say OELVN. To many, they are the bane of the visual novel world. All of the player base agrees that there were many well done and even groundbreaking OELVNs developed but for the most part, they are done poorly and use common tropes that can be redundant at times.

The fact of the matter is that OELVNs tend to be indies, have much lower budgets then Japanese VNs, and do tend to stick to the script more than change things up. This is why I am writing this now. I am pioneering a movement to completely recreate what it means to be an OELVN.

Many may say, “That is too ambitious for an indie” but I will not be stopped. Months ago I launched a kickstarter for my game but I didn’t invest enough capital to get quality art so it was ignored. This was entirely my fault. I then adapted and started making sure my original and very different idea was presented with all the bells and whistles needed to grab the attention of the player base. With that attention, I can begin to explain what I intend to do to change the game.

OELVN to Western VN

An OELVN is not much different from a Japanese VN. In fact, they are so similar that people that know of OELVNs tend to call them low budget or indies as a bad stigma. There are exceptions like Unwonted Studios and Winterwolves but for the most part, the stigma is very real. What is my solution to this?

Make a Western VN. How can you compare or stigmatize something that has no equivalent? If it has no equivalent then you must judge it based on your own personal experience with it. There are many American developers out there that try to place stories in japan and use the common. The setting of my game is in the ancient middle east. It also has elements of the ancient alien theory and historical references of many different pantheons during the time of 3500 BCE. This has never been done before, not even in video gaming as a whole. But to understand why it Is different, we must look into individual changes that make the experience different from a normal VN.

Art Style

Since the story is different, more serious, and from a certain period, we chose to use art that looks digital but has a comic like styling to it. All armor, clothing, and backgrounds are based on alien technology and period architecture/writing.

Music

We tend to make most songs fit the location of the game but we do not allow that to stop us from adding a few Asian songs to capture the mood. The music is intense and matches the flow of the game.

Flow

The game has short chapters spanning no longer then 10 minutes each. There is a world map and different type of quest which require tactical decision making and exploration. There is very little internal monologue and the viewpoint is omniscient even though you only control the main character. It will feel like mini-episodes of a very big series where you develop characters and become attached to their own personal goals.

Relationships

Unlike in other games with a BxG relationship in the genre, we have incorporated a very different mechanic to how ours works. First, you as the main player will be competing for the love of the female lead. Your actions can cause her to love or hate you and the other character’s actions can do the same. You can very well FAIL to get the girl and even more, lose the girl to your rival.

Additionally, all the characters in the game will react, listen, and follow you differently based on the reputation you acquire throughout the game. Your decisions will make them great allies or reasons for your death!

Insanity

The main character has psychological issues that he must conquer. Throughout the game you will come across spirits messing with your mind and as a result, you must either embrace these ideas or suppress them. By embracing them, you gain new powers that are extremely powerful BUT by giving away your autonomy, you also lose the ability to think rationally in situations where you have to use self-control.

Questing

Unlike other games which stick to one type of mini-game throughout the story, Black Sands offers many. There will be investigations, tracking missions, and random skill check progressions. Each one requires a completely different set of skills.

Exploration

The world lore of Black Sands is deep with mystery and discovery. While the player can choose to stick to the main path of the story, they will most likely engage in the side stories to discover the secrets of the rift. Every secret unlocks a journal entry and we have an in game encyclopedia that will explain all the lore.

Historical References

When you unlock lore entries, you get the real world context from which it was created including sources. This adds a level of education to a fantasy game that is never done.

Main Character

A common complaint about VNs as a whole is the main character being too needy and weak. In this game, the main character is a vicious fighter with an exceptional command over people. He suffers from Dementia but focuses himself using “knowledge of self” and meditation. You as the player will tell his story in your own personalized journal which will be sharable online.

Victory Conditions

In Black Sands, every turn cost time. Events happen based on the time and when you meet an obstacle for the first time, you get a progress bar on the top right. The more you learn about the obstacle, the more “confidence” you have you can deal with it. This helps you in the events that happen when you take on that challenge OR when that challenge decides to take on you. If you do not prepare well, you may be forced into a very bad situation but if you prepare for the coming enemy etc, you will succeed.

Theme

We incorporate ancient Kemetic-Kushite, Canaanite, Akkadian, Minoan, Greek, and Hindu mythology into the Black Sands universe while tying them all together with the ancient alien theory as the base. This will bring new fans to the genre as the ancient alien gaming world is an untapped market and the cultures of the middle east and black community would love to have heroes that look like them.


 
Thus, we are moving forward, ever aggressive and ever vigilant. If you have any questions or critiques, please comment below.


 

o.0 This looks like a complex read. Gonna be like Steins;Gate all over again where I look around the internet as I read to understand these new terms. Just make sure to put some notes whenever you introduce a foreign word in the dialogue, it can be easy to lose the reader if you use a lot of it.

Let me put a public disclaimer before I go in on this post. I do not respond in a hostile way to almost all critiques but this was not a critique, it was a character assassination on the level of Trumpism.
 
It seems you read my entire script and all my references through your Byakugan eyes.

I will shred your critique apart since it was a hostile attempt to sound educated while belittling me.
"Akkadian is a language for ancient Mesopotamia people, not a culture."
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Akkadian_Empire
The Akkadian Empire was the empire that predated the Sumerians.
Next.
"Kushite Religion is very limit, there is basically no research done on it."
The reason its called Kemetic-Kushite culture is because they were one and the same. They worshipped the same gods, exchanged gods, and had the same cultural norms.
"you will run into Canaan vs Bible reference battles, its best to understand why the two are not the same."
I am using the book of enoch as my reference since historically it is based on both the biblical and canaanite religious bases. All historians agree on this.
Additionally, who said this game was about the bible? Not I. 
"Hindu mythology is way different, it never has been connected with the bible while everything else has in some way shape or just plan added."
"We incorporate ancient Kemetic-Kushite, Canaanite, Akkadian, Minoan, Greek, and Hindu mythology into the Black Sands universe while tying them all together with the ancient alien theory as the base. This will bring new fans to the genre as the ancient alien gaming world is an untapped market and the cultures of the middle east and black community would love to have heroes that look like them. "

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ancient_astronaut_hypothesis
So unless you somehow missed the multiple references to the ancient alien theory or just have no clue what it is, you should not be saying how my research is off.I would not say Elves from the lord of the rings is not the same as "elves from the norse mythologies therefore tolkien is an idiot.:"

He wasnt writing about ancient Norse mythology. He based his writings on it. I am done.
 

Let me put a public disclaimer before I go in on this post. I do not respond in a hostile way to almost all critiques but this was not a critique, it was a character assassination on the level of Trumpism.
 
It seems you read my entire script and all my references through your Byakugan eyes.

I will shred your critique apart since it was a hostile attempt to sound educated while belittling me.
"Akkadian is a language for ancient Mesopotamia people, not a culture."
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Akkadian_Empire
The Akkadian Empire was the empire that predated the Sumerians.
Next.
"Kushite Religion is very limit, there is basically no research done on it."
The reason its called Kemetic-Kushite culture is because they were one and the same. They worshipped the same gods, exchanged gods, and had the same cultural norms.
"you will run into Canaan vs Bible reference battles, its best to understand why the two are not the same."
I am using the book of enoch as my reference since historically it is based on both the biblical and canaanite religious bases. All historians agree on this.
Additionally, who said this game was about the bible? Not I. 
"Hindu mythology is way different, it never has been connected with the bible while everything else has in some way shape or just plan added."
"We incorporate ancient Kemetic-Kushite, Canaanite, Akkadian, Minoan, Greek, and Hindu mythology into the Black Sands universe while tying them all together with the ancient alien theory as the base. This will bring new fans to the genre as the ancient alien gaming world is an untapped market and the cultures of the middle east and black community would love to have heroes that look like them. "

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ancient_astronaut_hypothesis
So unless you somehow missed the multiple references to the ancient alien theory or just have no clue what it is, you should not be saying how my research is off.I would not say Elves from the lord of the rings is not the same as "elves from the norse mythologies therefore tolkien is an idiot.:"

He wasnt writing about ancient Norse mythology. He based his writings on it. I am done.
 

Transforming what we expect from the OELVN market


 
Whenever I talk to communities that play visual novels, there is always a kneejerk reaction when you say OELVN. To many, they are the bane of the visual novel world. All of the player base agrees that there were many well done and even groundbreaking OELVNs developed but for the most part, they are done poorly and use common tropes that can be redundant at times.

The fact of the matter is that OELVNs tend to be indies, have much lower budgets then Japanese VNs, and do tend to stick to the script more than change things up. This is why I am writing this now. I am pioneering a movement to completely recreate what it means to be an OELVN.

Many may say, “That is too ambitious for an indie” but I will not be stopped. Months ago I launched a kickstarter for my game but I didn’t invest enough capital to get quality art so it was ignored. This was entirely my fault. I then adapted and started making sure my original and very different idea was presented with all the bells and whistles needed to grab the attention of the player base. With that attention, I can begin to explain what I intend to do to change the game.

OELVN to Western VN

An OELVN is not much different from a Japanese VN. In fact, they are so similar that people that know of OELVNs tend to call them low budget or indies as a bad stigma. There are exceptions like Unwonted Studios and Winterwolves but for the most part, the stigma is very real. What is my solution to this?

Make a Western VN. How can you compare or stigmatize something that has no equivalent? If it has no equivalent then you must judge it based on your own personal experience with it. There are many American developers out there that try to place stories in japan and use the common. The setting of my game is in the ancient middle east. It also has elements of the ancient alien theory and historical references of many different pantheons during the time of 3500 BCE. This has never been done before, not even in video gaming as a whole. But to understand why it Is different, we must look into individual changes that make the experience different from a normal VN.

Art Style

Since the story is different, more serious, and from a certain period, we chose to use art that looks digital but has a comic like styling to it. All armor, clothing, and backgrounds are based on alien technology and period architecture/writing.

Music

We tend to make most songs fit the location of the game but we do not allow that to stop us from adding a few Asian songs to capture the mood. The music is intense and matches the flow of the game.

Flow

The game has short chapters spanning no longer then 10 minutes each. There is a world map and different type of quest which require tactical decision making and exploration. There is very little internal monologue and the viewpoint is omniscient even though you only control the main character. It will feel like mini-episodes of a very big series where you develop characters and become attached to their own personal goals.

Relationships

Unlike in other games with a BxG relationship in the genre, we have incorporated a very different mechanic to how ours works. First, you as the main player will be competing for the love of the female lead. Your actions can cause her to love or hate you and the other character’s actions can do the same. You can very well FAIL to get the girl and even more, lose the girl to your rival.

Additionally, all the characters in the game will react, listen, and follow you differently based on the reputation you acquire throughout the game. Your decisions will make them great allies or reasons for your death!

Insanity

The main character has psychological issues that he must conquer. Throughout the game you will come across spirits messing with your mind and as a result, you must either embrace these ideas or suppress them. By embracing them, you gain new powers that are extremely powerful BUT by giving away your autonomy, you also lose the ability to think rationally in situations where you have to use self-control.

Questing

Unlike other games which stick to one type of mini-game throughout the story, Black Sands offers many. There will be investigations, tracking missions, and random skill check progressions. Each one requires a completely different set of skills.

Exploration

The world lore of Black Sands is deep with mystery and discovery. While the player can choose to stick to the main path of the story, they will most likely engage in the side stories to discover the secrets of the rift. Every secret unlocks a journal entry and we have an in game encyclopedia that will explain all the lore.

Historical References

When you unlock lore entries, you get the real world context from which it was created including sources. This adds a level of education to a fantasy game that is never done.

Main Character

A common complaint about VNs as a whole is the main character being too needy and weak. In this game, the main character is a vicious fighter with an exceptional command over people. He suffers from Dementia but focuses himself using “knowledge of self” and meditation. You as the player will tell his story in your own personalized journal which will be sharable online.

Victory Conditions

In Black Sands, every turn cost time. Events happen based on the time and when you meet an obstacle for the first time, you get a progress bar on the top right. The more you learn about the obstacle, the more “confidence” you have you can deal with it. This helps you in the events that happen when you take on that challenge OR when that challenge decides to take on you. If you do not prepare well, you may be forced into a very bad situation but if you prepare for the coming enemy etc, you will succeed.

Theme

We incorporate ancient Kemetic-Kushite, Canaanite, Akkadian, Minoan, Greek, and Hindu mythology into the Black Sands universe while tying them all together with the ancient alien theory as the base. This will bring new fans to the genre as the ancient alien gaming world is an untapped market and the cultures of the middle east and black community would love to have heroes that look like them.


 
Thus, we are moving forward, ever aggressive and ever vigilant. If you have any questions or critiques, please comment below.


 

It seems to be a very interesting idea.
Hope that you are successful in making a great vn.    
    

Transforming what we expect from the OELVN market


 
Whenever I talk to communities that play visual novels, there is always a kneejerk reaction when you say OELVN. To many, they are the bane of the visual novel world. All of the player base agrees that there were many well done and even groundbreaking OELVNs developed but for the most part, they are done poorly and use common tropes that can be redundant at times.

The fact of the matter is that OELVNs tend to be indies, have much lower budgets then Japanese VNs, and do tend to stick to the script more than change things up. This is why I am writing this now. I am pioneering a movement to completely recreate what it means to be an OELVN.

Many may say, “That is too ambitious for an indie” but I will not be stopped. Months ago I launched a kickstarter for my game but I didn’t invest enough capital to get quality art so it was ignored. This was entirely my fault. I then adapted and started making sure my original and very different idea was presented with all the bells and whistles needed to grab the attention of the player base. With that attention, I can begin to explain what I intend to do to change the game.

OELVN to Western VN

An OELVN is not much different from a Japanese VN. In fact, they are so similar that people that know of OELVNs tend to call them low budget or indies as a bad stigma. There are exceptions like Unwonted Studios and Winterwolves but for the most part, the stigma is very real. What is my solution to this?

Make a Western VN. How can you compare or stigmatize something that has no equivalent? If it has no equivalent then you must judge it based on your own personal experience with it. There are many American developers out there that try to place stories in japan and use the common. The setting of my game is in the ancient middle east. It also has elements of the ancient alien theory and historical references of many different pantheons during the time of 3500 BCE. This has never been done before, not even in video gaming as a whole. But to understand why it Is different, we must look into individual changes that make the experience different from a normal VN.

Art Style

Since the story is different, more serious, and from a certain period, we chose to use art that looks digital but has a comic like styling to it. All armor, clothing, and backgrounds are based on alien technology and period architecture/writing.

Music

We tend to make most songs fit the location of the game but we do not allow that to stop us from adding a few Asian songs to capture the mood. The music is intense and matches the flow of the game.

Flow

The game has short chapters spanning no longer then 10 minutes each. There is a world map and different type of quest which require tactical decision making and exploration. There is very little internal monologue and the viewpoint is omniscient even though you only control the main character. It will feel like mini-episodes of a very big series where you develop characters and become attached to their own personal goals.

Relationships

Unlike in other games with a BxG relationship in the genre, we have incorporated a very different mechanic to how ours works. First, you as the main player will be competing for the love of the female lead. Your actions can cause her to love or hate you and the other character’s actions can do the same. You can very well FAIL to get the girl and even more, lose the girl to your rival.

Additionally, all the characters in the game will react, listen, and follow you differently based on the reputation you acquire throughout the game. Your decisions will make them great allies or reasons for your death!

Insanity

The main character has psychological issues that he must conquer. Throughout the game you will come across spirits messing with your mind and as a result, you must either embrace these ideas or suppress them. By embracing them, you gain new powers that are extremely powerful BUT by giving away your autonomy, you also lose the ability to think rationally in situations where you have to use self-control.

Questing

Unlike other games which stick to one type of mini-game throughout the story, Black Sands offers many. There will be investigations, tracking missions, and random skill check progressions. Each one requires a completely different set of skills.

Exploration

The world lore of Black Sands is deep with mystery and discovery. While the player can choose to stick to the main path of the story, they will most likely engage in the side stories to discover the secrets of the rift. Every secret unlocks a journal entry and we have an in game encyclopedia that will explain all the lore.

Historical References

When you unlock lore entries, you get the real world context from which it was created including sources. This adds a level of education to a fantasy game that is never done.

Main Character

A common complaint about VNs as a whole is the main character being too needy and weak. In this game, the main character is a vicious fighter with an exceptional command over people. He suffers from Dementia but focuses himself using “knowledge of self” and meditation. You as the player will tell his story in your own personalized journal which will be sharable online.

Victory Conditions

In Black Sands, every turn cost time. Events happen based on the time and when you meet an obstacle for the first time, you get a progress bar on the top right. The more you learn about the obstacle, the more “confidence” you have you can deal with it. This helps you in the events that happen when you take on that challenge OR when that challenge decides to take on you. If you do not prepare well, you may be forced into a very bad situation but if you prepare for the coming enemy etc, you will succeed.

Theme

We incorporate ancient Kemetic-Kushite, Canaanite, Akkadian, Minoan, Greek, and Hindu mythology into the Black Sands universe while tying them all together with the ancient alien theory as the base. This will bring new fans to the genre as the ancient alien gaming world is an untapped market and the cultures of the middle east and black community would love to have heroes that look like them.


 
Thus, we are moving forward, ever aggressive and ever vigilant. If you have any questions or critiques, please comment below.


 

Transforming what we expect from the OELVN market


 
Whenever I talk to communities that play visual novels, there is always a kneejerk reaction when you say OELVN. To many, they are the bane of the visual novel world. All of the player base agrees that there were many well done and even groundbreaking OELVNs developed but for the most part, they are done poorly and use common tropes that can be redundant at times.

The fact of the matter is that OELVNs tend to be indies, have much lower budgets then Japanese VNs, and do tend to stick to the script more than change things up. This is why I am writing this now. I am pioneering a movement to completely recreate what it means to be an OELVN.

Many may say, “That is too ambitious for an indie” but I will not be stopped. Months ago I launched a kickstarter for my game but I didn’t invest enough capital to get quality art so it was ignored. This was entirely my fault. I then adapted and started making sure my original and very different idea was presented with all the bells and whistles needed to grab the attention of the player base. With that attention, I can begin to explain what I intend to do to change the game.

OELVN to Western VN

An OELVN is not much different from a Japanese VN. In fact, they are so similar that people that know of OELVNs tend to call them low budget or indies as a bad stigma. There are exceptions like Unwonted Studios and Winterwolves but for the most part, the stigma is very real. What is my solution to this?

Make a Western VN. How can you compare or stigmatize something that has no equivalent? If it has no equivalent then you must judge it based on your own personal experience with it. There are many American developers out there that try to place stories in japan and use the common. The setting of my game is in the ancient middle east. It also has elements of the ancient alien theory and historical references of many different pantheons during the time of 3500 BCE. This has never been done before, not even in video gaming as a whole. But to understand why it Is different, we must look into individual changes that make the experience different from a normal VN.

Art Style

Since the story is different, more serious, and from a certain period, we chose to use art that looks digital but has a comic like styling to it. All armor, clothing, and backgrounds are based on alien technology and period architecture/writing.

Music

We tend to make most songs fit the location of the game but we do not allow that to stop us from adding a few Asian songs to capture the mood. The music is intense and matches the flow of the game.

Flow

The game has short chapters spanning no longer then 10 minutes each. There is a world map and different type of quest which require tactical decision making and exploration. There is very little internal monologue and the viewpoint is omniscient even though you only control the main character. It will feel like mini-episodes of a very big series where you develop characters and become attached to their own personal goals.

Relationships

Unlike in other games with a BxG relationship in the genre, we have incorporated a very different mechanic to how ours works. First, you as the main player will be competing for the love of the female lead. Your actions can cause her to love or hate you and the other character’s actions can do the same. You can very well FAIL to get the girl and even more, lose the girl to your rival.

Additionally, all the characters in the game will react, listen, and follow you differently based on the reputation you acquire throughout the game. Your decisions will make them great allies or reasons for your death!

Insanity

The main character has psychological issues that he must conquer. Throughout the game you will come across spirits messing with your mind and as a result, you must either embrace these ideas or suppress them. By embracing them, you gain new powers that are extremely powerful BUT by giving away your autonomy, you also lose the ability to think rationally in situations where you have to use self-control.

Questing

Unlike other games which stick to one type of mini-game throughout the story, Black Sands offers many. There will be investigations, tracking missions, and random skill check progressions. Each one requires a completely different set of skills.

Exploration

The world lore of Black Sands is deep with mystery and discovery. While the player can choose to stick to the main path of the story, they will most likely engage in the side stories to discover the secrets of the rift. Every secret unlocks a journal entry and we have an in game encyclopedia that will explain all the lore.

Historical References

When you unlock lore entries, you get the real world context from which it was created including sources. This adds a level of education to a fantasy game that is never done.

Main Character

A common complaint about VNs as a whole is the main character being too needy and weak. In this game, the main character is a vicious fighter with an exceptional command over people. He suffers from Dementia but focuses himself using “knowledge of self” and meditation. You as the player will tell his story in your own personalized journal which will be sharable online.

Victory Conditions

In Black Sands, every turn cost time. Events happen based on the time and when you meet an obstacle for the first time, you get a progress bar on the top right. The more you learn about the obstacle, the more “confidence” you have you can deal with it. This helps you in the events that happen when you take on that challenge OR when that challenge decides to take on you. If you do not prepare well, you may be forced into a very bad situation but if you prepare for the coming enemy etc, you will succeed.

Theme

We incorporate ancient Kemetic-Kushite, Canaanite, Akkadian, Minoan, Greek, and Hindu mythology into the Black Sands universe while tying them all together with the ancient alien theory as the base. This will bring new fans to the genre as the ancient alien gaming world is an untapped market and the cultures of the middle east and black community would love to have heroes that look like them.


 
Thus, we are moving forward, ever aggressive and ever vigilant. If you have any questions or critiques, please comment below.


 

The fact that you are not even using a high school setting is already 70 points on a 100 point scale for me. Most of us here are tired of that cliched, over troped and overused nonsense and it's very refreshing to read VNs without using that boring setting. 
Good luck and looking forward to it and I hope you guys can be up there with Katawa Shoujo as one of the best OELVNs to ever be released. 

I can see where you're coming from in a realistic point of view, but is this project's aim to create a learning aspect of Egypt? I didn't get much sleep last night and I'm still a bit groggy, but unless I missed it in this thread, I can't see anywhere stated that it is. I assumed it was a fantasy game that drew inspirations from Egypt.
Edit:
Whoops, my bad! I didn't see the comment above which already explained, aha!

This looks great! I can't wait to see more.

Genre:Adventure, Investigative, Management, and psychological Visual Novel   Platforms:PC, Mac, Linux, PS4   Languages:English (Fully Voiced), English (Text)   Visual Style: DreamWorks style graphics mixed with dark and mythological themes.   Progress:~20% of the game completed. (20 hour game)   Estimated release:~Summer 2017   “Whether friend or tyrant, I will become a King!"   Welcome to the Rift, a dimensional tear located in Canaan where the ancient gods were created and where you must prove your worthiness to lead the world of men. You have allies and the training needed to fight, but nothing will prepare you for the wonders and horrors of the unstable plains in the Rift.     Manage Respect, Relationships, and Mental will when making decisions. Assigning team members to missions best suited for them. Discovering weaknesses to epic enemies through investigations. Collecting real world lore and in game lore by discovering hidden items. Unlocking secrets of the past by collecting memory gems. Making timed decisions and avoiding damage in high intensity situations. Leveling up your characters to specialize in unique skills.     Time   In the game, everything will cost time to complete and characters may be away, unable to do a task available. Time is managed by the player and he has 6 months to prepare to face Nun. Special events will happen at certain times such as full moon cycles, changing of season, etc. This will give the player a level of management that makes them feel immersed.   Leveling   Each character has core stats which helps them succeed in feats. Completing certain missions and training will gain you very limited talent points to specialize your character in lore friendly ways.     Respect   You are a leader. You must earn the respect of your soldiers! Decisions you make and the success of those decisions will affect the confidence your allies have in you. If you fail a lot, they will lose confidence and go rogue during critical decisions. You may even lose command. A true Pharaoh never loses command…       Kinship   While how successful you are in decision making and your sense in the field affects the way they see you, it does not help one bit on how they think of you as a person. In order to get on their good side, you must appeal to their innate personalities. One cannot please everyone so make your choices wisely. It is worth noting that Kinship affects how allies act when not around you or when not commanded.     Stability   You are the strongest. Unfortunately, you are also the most flawed… You have an issue with Dementia and you must suppress these voices throughout your time in the Rift. The tradeoff is considerable though because when you were young, and you let the voices run wild, you could do things others could only dream of. In these dark days, will you allow your mind to slip in order to wield more power or will you avoid such pleasures and rely on knowledge of self?     The rift has stood for thousands of years, since the day Nun arrived from the planet Nibiru. Located in the barren lands of Canaan, this void was created to keep the outside world uncontaminated while Nun worked on his creations. He spent centuries studying the humans and when he figured out this world, he created ancients similar to the life found on his home planet. They warred with each other inside the Rift until only 3 families remained. When they left the Rift, Nun used a stability gem to alter reality and hide the incomprehensible damage done. But now, thousands of years since the great sundering, Nun has created another race of beings to combat his creations from ions past. In order for them to prove themselves, they must survive the Rift, as it were during the time of the ancients. Stability is no more! Can the mortals survive the Trials of the Rift?   There are many different types of quests in Black Sands. We will briefly go through some of them to better understand the gameplay mechanics involved in each. In Black Sands, time, health, and deployment all work against you as you stride to prepare yourself for the final battle with Nun.   Scouting - designed to seek new quests exclusively. Minimal danger   Investigation - A quest that requires discipline and perception. Player must decipher material and decide what is important and not. Proper investigation rewards secrets.   Tracking - This is an extremely heavy skill check category that requires quick decision making and a little luck. These missions are available only once before they go back into the quest pool.   Social - This is a quest where you develop relationships with the other characters and learn more about them.   Instant Events - Automatically happen when certain criteria are met. May have nothing to do with prior tasks.   Group Events - The entire group must participate. Nun will go over your notes and inspect your facility whenever this happens.   Epic Events - Storyline Events that are either triggered by actions or chose by the player. These tend to have more decision making then other events.   Exploration - A quest designed to explore unknown locations. These quests have no prior knowledge so player must use their wits to move forward. The farther you get, the better the rewards. These missions can be ended at any time but there is no guarantee you can return.     This game is directly inspired by Dragon Age and Telltale. Their strong narratives and crucial game changing decisions inspired me to design a visual novel unlike any before it.   Additional motivation was found in the way Hollywood depicts middle eastern and Saharan people. We do a lot of research and use annotations in game to teach the actual history behind the fantasy of our world.   Future   We will be converting all sprites to Live2d and making them look a bit more realistic and 20x more brutal. The goal is to make this like Conan while having the art leveling of pixar, dreamworks.     How can I help?   Follow us on facebook, Cosplay our characters, Share the hell out of this, and Pay homage to the gods by buying some of our merchandise.   Don’t forget to sign up for the newsletter and remember, Nun sees all.   We have these posters and more. You can support us while getting something tangible that will uplift both you and your families.     Facebook Twitter Official Page Official Store Youtube

Man that artist is fucking good, the art style is amazing!

Nun's Facility