LinovaA Posted January 15, 2015 Share Posted January 15, 2015 For those who have watched the Cyanide and Happiness show, you (probably) get the reference and will now read the title in that voice. NOW THEN, onto the matter at hand. What are some of the lamest puns you have ever heard? You know... the ones that make the entire room groan, or the ones Uncle George always tells at family reunions relentlessly until everyone just kinda leaves. Exactly how punny can you be? Let the collective groaning begin! This will forever remain my favorite pun of all time. The_Count 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tenkuru Posted January 15, 2015 Share Posted January 15, 2015 I submitted 10 puns to a pun contest, hoping that one could win.... but NO PUN IN TEN DID! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DimDito Posted January 15, 2015 Share Posted January 15, 2015 This is like every Lame Pun Coon ever. I don't have the comedic talent to come up with something original, so have a marathon of raccoon memes instead; She said I was just average. How mean! I don't enjoy computer jokes. Not one bit. Just learned how to masturbate. Came in handy. Jokes about German sausages are the wurst. Why did the bike fall over? It was two tired. I can't find my coat. I hope someone didn't jacket. How did I get out of Iraq? Iran. I love the internet. It's the wifi never had. I got stabbed during an argument today. Point taken. I saw a sign outside the drug rehab center, it said "Keep off the grass." What happens when your bladder stops working? Urine deep trouble. A blowjob makes your day, but anal sex makes your hole weak. Need an ark? I Noah guy. Nazi jokes are not in Mein Kampfort zone. Tennis playes never marry because love means nothing to them. I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest. Silvz 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Funyarinpa Posted January 15, 2015 Share Posted January 15, 2015 I used to hate decimals, but then I realized they had a point. What's the most open-minded science? BI-OLOGY! (Will think of more later, came up with the second myself but the first is a friend's) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
madvanced Posted January 15, 2015 Share Posted January 15, 2015 I submitted 10 puns to a pun contest, hoping that one could win.... but NO PUN IN TEN DID! Was expecting ten, I was not disappointed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arakura Posted January 15, 2015 Share Posted January 15, 2015 airfare has gone up ever since they started charging me for my emotional baggage B) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LinovaA Posted January 15, 2015 Author Share Posted January 15, 2015 A Voltorb went out to play one day... It had a ball. *winces* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EldritchCherub Posted January 15, 2015 Share Posted January 15, 2015 -Potato puns are apeeling -I have the necessary koalifications -Don't listen to him! He's lion. -Alpaca your things for the trip. -This girl said she knew me from vegeterian club. But I've never met herbivore. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nosebleed Posted January 15, 2015 Share Posted January 15, 2015 What do you call someone that hates pencils? Erase-ist Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monmon Posted January 15, 2015 Share Posted January 15, 2015 U know...u just can search my post in Intro thread....since well u know. England doesn't have a kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool In order to talk to a viking you need to know Norse code. Stealing someone's coffee is called 'mugging' If you believe restaurants always overcook steaks, then you probably order them rarely. What time is it when it is time to go to the dentist? Tooth hurty. The airlines have become so cash-strapped, they charged me for my emotional baggage. An elevator makes ghosts happy because it lifts the spirits. I went to the store to buy some soup but they were out of stock. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
corntastic Posted January 16, 2015 Share Posted January 16, 2015 If you smoke like 2kg with a loli, she too can become the highest form of flattery. LinovaA, Funyarinpa and Tohka 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LinovaA Posted January 16, 2015 Author Share Posted January 16, 2015 If you smoke like 2kg with a loli, she too can become the highest form of flattery. If I could give you more likes... I would! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katatsumuri Posted January 16, 2015 Share Posted January 16, 2015 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Funyarinpa Posted January 16, 2015 Share Posted January 16, 2015 If you smoke like 2kg with a loli, she too can become the highest form of flattery. Why am I even laughing so much Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
B0X0R Posted January 16, 2015 Share Posted January 16, 2015 Let the face-palms commence! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
B0X0R Posted January 16, 2015 Share Posted January 16, 2015 A toad and a frog went to a whorehouse one afternoon but both picked up nasty infections. Within three days the toad's penis had turned bright yellow while the frog's had turned deep red. The toad decided to seek medical assistance but the frog was too embarrassed to see a doctor and hoped that the infection would clear up without treatment. The toad set off into the wood for help and soon met an old witch who told him that the nearest doctor was in the land of Oz. She was kind enough to give him directions. Meanwhile the frog had changed his mind and thought that he too had best see a doctor. So he hopped off in hot pursuit of the toad and soon came across the same witch. "Excuse me," said the frog, "can you tell me where I can find the nearest doctor?" "You need the land of Oz," replied the witch. "How do I get there?" asked the frog. "It's easy," said the witch, "Follow the yellow dick toad." From The Mammoth Book of Humor Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Funyarinpa Posted January 16, 2015 Share Posted January 16, 2015 What are potatoes made of? Potadough Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tenkuru Posted January 16, 2015 Share Posted January 16, 2015 PMS jokes aren't funny. Period. B0X0R 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LinovaA Posted January 16, 2015 Author Share Posted January 16, 2015 I was wondering why the baseball was getting larger. But then it hit me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kyrt Posted January 17, 2015 Share Posted January 17, 2015 If anyone ever begins a talking about the ocean or other bodies of water you'll sea that I can go very in depth with my puns. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnonP Posted January 23, 2015 Share Posted January 23, 2015 What does eevee evolve into if you give it a French stone? Napoleon The_Count 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Count Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 What does eevee evolve into if you give it a French stone? Napoleon My sides are burning xD xD xD Edit: What do you call an illegal group of poets? Organized Rhyme! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Funyarinpa Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 What did the art teacher say about a badly done nude painting? THIS BUTT A SCRATCH Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Count Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 What do you call a dictionary on drugs? High Definition! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoom909 Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 An Indian chief had three wives, each of whom was pregnant. The first gave birth to a boy. The chief was so elated he built her a teepee made of deer hide. A few days later, the second gave birth, also to a boy. The chief was very happy. He built her a teepee made of moose hide. The third wife gave birth a few days later, but the chief kept the details a secret. He built this one a two story teepee, made out of an imported hippopotamus hide. He challenged the tribe to guess what had occurred. Many tried, unsuccessfully. Finally, one young brave declared that the third wife had given birth to twin boys. "Correct," said the chief. "How did you figure it out?" The warrior answered, "It's elementary. The value of the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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