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A Sky Full of Stars - +18 Restoration [DROPPED]


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On 28/02/2018 at 7:15 PM, Infernoplex said:

Now, the last modification I'd make to it is to switch from Passive Voice to Active one. That's what the option 2) is supposed to be. Your example is also in the Active Voice: "Her directness caught me off guard."... So I might go with your example at the end, if I don't hear any other better suggestion :) ... Thanks ^_^

If I could had my grain of salt to this, "bluntness" is the word that makes the most sense. Directness might be better on a grammar level, but it's hardly ever used anymore and would only be heard in high society, which the game doesn't take place in. All the others like "pushiness", "forwardness", all seem weird in this context as they don't exactly all mean the same thing. To me, bluntness is what makes sense here.

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3 minutes ago, DatMetalGuy said:

If I could had my grain of salt to this, "bluntness" is the word that makes the most sense. Directness might be better on a grammar level, but it's hardly ever used anymore and would only be heard in high society, which the game doesn't take place in. All the others like "pushiness", "forwardness", all seem weird in this context as they don't exactly all mean the same thing. To me, bluntness is what makes sense here.

Yes, that's true. In fact, I think you're right here. I myself rarely encounter "directness" in written English, while "frankness" and "bluntness" seem to pop out more often. Thanks for the feedback, I think I'll modify it to "bluntness" at the end.

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  • 2 weeks later...
3 hours ago, DatMetalGuy said:

How are you holding up Inferno ? Just checking in, been a while since anyone posted on this thread, don't forget that everyone appreciate your hard work ! 

Thanks for following the project :) I was just uploading these days some videos on how the new Miazora reads like. You came a little early since I am not done yet uploading it all (some 8 videos need to be uploaded), but if you want to take a look at the first 3 I uploaded so far, I can send you in private. I want to get some feedback on what can be improved on the original Moenovel translation (I heavily edited all scripts so it should read better than the Moenovel version did, but still, it's based on Moenovel TL so it cannot be perfect). As for the H-scenes, I left that to Dergonu so I don't know at the moment how the things are going on there. Next week, I'll have the first 2 or 3 hours of the VN uploaded, you could either wait to see that and give some feedback or I could PM you the first 3 videos I uploaded so far :).

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21 hours ago, Infernoplex said:

Thanks for following the project :) I was just uploading these days some videos on how the new Miazora reads like. You came a little early since I am not done yet uploading it all (some 8 videos need to be uploaded), but if you want to take a look at the first 3 I uploaded so far, I can send you in private. I want to get some feedback on what can be improved on the original Moenovel translation (I heavily edited all scripts so it should read better than the Moenovel version did, but still, it's based on Moenovel TL so it cannot be perfect). As for the H-scenes, I left that to Dergonu so I don't know at the moment how the things are going on there. Next week, I'll have the first 2 or 3 hours of the VN uploaded, you could either wait to see that and give some feedback or I could PM you the first 3 videos I uploaded so far :).

I'm willing to help out anyway you want, I can watch what you've posted so far or wait! If you want feedback on what you've posted, feel free to send it, if you prefer to wait then I'll wait! 

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So is this just a h-scene restoration patch still? Read through the last few comments, and I got the impression that it's turned into a re-write of the entire moe-novel script ? Haven't had chance to read the entire thread yet though, so I'm not sure.

Whichever it is though, thanks so much for doing this!

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4 hours ago, Anais said:

So is this just a h-scene restoration patch still? Read through the last few comments, and I got the impression that it's turned into a re-write of the entire moe-novel script ? Haven't had chance to read the entire thread yet though, so I'm not sure.

Whichever it is though, thanks so much for doing this!

It's an H-scene patch. I'm not re-translating any of the Moenovel lines, (except a handful that might have been altered due to censorship.) The TL of the game outside the H will still be Moenovel's work. 

Inferno is making some general changes to the Moenovel script while the translation is being made for the H, though, so the final product will probably have fixed some of Moenovel's lines as well. (Mostly just the ones that stood out to Inferno as strange/ bad.) 

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6 hours ago, Anais said:

So is this just a h-scene restoration patch still? Read through the last few comments, and I got the impression that it's turned into a re-write of the entire moe-novel script ? Haven't had chance to read the entire thread yet though, so I'm not sure.

Whichever it is though, thanks so much for doing this!

Basically what Dergonu said. I mostly started this because of lack of H-scenes. But since I already have the Moenovel script, I feel kinda guilty leaving obnoxious stuff like "Her open gaze cut right through me." and similar kind of garbage lines in the script. I do have some people I ask frequently about suspicious lines that make no sense whatsoever. But still, I wouldn't call it a "re-write" of the entire script (that would be a total retranslation then). You could call it "giving it a QC pass Moenovel never gave it". And that's what I'd call it as well. I hope I will be able to finish uploading the gameplay of it sometime by the end of this week.

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2 hours ago, Infernoplex said:

Basically what Dergonu said. I mostly started this because of lack of H-scenes. But since I already have the Moenovel script, I feel kinda guilty leaving obnoxious stuff like "Her open gaze cut right through me." and similar kind of garbage lines in the script. I do have some people I ask frequently about suspicious lines that make no sense whatsoever. But still, I wouldn't call it a "re-write" of the entire script (that would be a total retranslation then). You could call it "giving it a QC pass Moenovel never gave it". And that's what I'd call it as well. I hope I will be able to finish uploading the gameplay of it sometime by the end of this week.

 

4 hours ago, Dergonu said:

It's an H-scene patch. I'm not re-translating any of the Moenovel lines, (except a handful that might have been altered due to censorship.) The TL of the game outside the H will still be Moenovel's work. 

Inferno is making some general changes to the Moenovel script while the translation is being made for the H, though, so the final product will probably have fixed some of Moenovel's lines as well. (Mostly just the ones that stood out to Inferno as strange/ bad.) 

 

Ah awesome, thanks for the clarification both of you! Picked Miazora up this week- been wanting to try this one out for a longg time. Moenovel's google translate scripts I can just about handle (so long as they're not quite as bad as some of the sections of Konosora, which was completely unintelligible in parts), but the censorship I absolutely can't stand. Especially when they put such a minimal amount of effort to compensate for the gaps in the story that it leaves after they cut the h-scenes out! (or when they start photoshopping towels into the bath CG's xD)

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36 minutes ago, Anais said:

Ah awesome, thanks for the clarification both of you! Picked Miazora up this week- been wanting to try this one out for a longg time. Moenovel's google translate scripts I can just about handle (so long as they're not quite as bad as some of the sections of Konosora, which was completely unintelligible in parts), but the censorship I absolutely can't stand. Especially when they put such a minimal amount of effort to compensate for the gaps in the story that it leaves after they cut the h-scenes out! (or when they start photoshopping towels into the bath CG's xD)

At the very least there's no towel in the bath like back at Konosora (They use fog to cover the nipple though lol), and I think compared to Konosora the translation here is an improvement. That said, the scene cut was pretty bad though because what we have here is only 84% of the original VN, in which 16% of the original scripts were the sex scenes that was ripped for overseas release. Oh, and by the way they censored one SD CG, although admittely the original version of the CG was pretty graphic though.

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18 hours ago, littleshogun said:

At the very least there's no towel in the bath like back at Konosora (They use fog to cover the nipple though lol), and I think compared to Konosora the translation here is an improvement. That said, the scene cut was pretty bad though because what we have here is only 84% of the original VN, in which 16% of the original scripts were the sex scenes that was ripped for overseas release. Oh, and by the way they censored one SD CG, although admittely the original version of the CG was pretty graphic though.

It's still beyond me why people think it's a good idea to cut VN's to make them "family friendly" (and in some cases, literally market them as that.) Why would anyone would take what is quite clearly not a "family friendly" product and attempt to turn it into one? And that part about covering a nipple with fog is just ridiculous xD

 

Oh! Sorry for the double post, but I forgot to ask- presumably, if i were to patch the game when this is released, I'd have to start a new game? I'm eager to dive in, but if I'd have to start over after I patch, I might as well hold off for the time being.

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1 hour ago, Anais said:

Oh! Sorry for the double post, but I forgot to ask- presumably, if i were to patch the game when this is released, I'd have to start a new game? I'm eager to dive in, but if I'd have to start over after I patch, I might as well hold off for the time being.

Err... savegames most likely won't work so yeah, you would have to start all over again. Though, even with that, you should still give the VN a go since the patch likely won't come out in a while. The translation, while not that good, is still understandable and can be enjoyed regardless of my (and some other netizens) complaints. As for the censored scenes, there's a tool made by Marcus you could use (check this thread) and try to play it like that (yeah, it MTLs the H-scenes, but it's better than having censored release altogether). Personally, I didn't use it, and according to some, it has some bugs, but it should still be usable. Or just read the Moenovel version for now, and just play the H-scenes at the end once the patch comes out.

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  • 2 weeks later...
On 19.03.2018 at 6:18 PM, Infernoplex said:

Err... savegames most likely won't work so yeah, you would have to start all over again. Though, even with that, you should still give the VN a go since the patch likely won't come out in a while. The translation, while not that good, is still understandable and can be enjoyed regardless of my (and some other netizens) complaints. As for the censored scenes, there's a tool made by Marcus you could use (check this thread) and try to play it like that (yeah, it MTLs the H-scenes, but it's better than having censored release altogether). Personally, I didn't use it, and according to some, it has some bugs, but it should still be usable. Or just read the Moenovel version for now, and just play the H-scenes at the end once the patch comes out.

Thanks for translating this novel! And in what time do you plan to fully translate the novel?

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2 hours ago, Aquahorse said:

Thanks for translating this novel! And in what time do you plan to fully translate the novel?

The translation will be done when it is done. Since I'm the only translator on the project at the moment, and I'm pretty busy with IRL stuff and what not, progress is quite slow for now. It's being worked on, but we have no ETA. We will post in the thread when we make some significant progress. 

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I'm a bit curious to know as to how much Moenovel changed the script.

Right now, it sounds like a restoration patch is in the works where you guys are adding back in H-scenes and fixing the sentences that lead to it as well as fixing their translation errors.

 

But did Moenovel actually change the overall script to the point of needing a full-translation like If My Heart had Wings?

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13 minutes ago, jetpack003 said:

I'm a bit curious to know as to how much Moenovel changed the script.

Right now, it sounds like a restoration patch is in the works where you guys are adding back in H-scenes and fixing the sentences that lead to it as well as fixing their translation errors.

 

But did Moenovel actually change the overall script to the point of needing a full-translation like If My Heart had Wings?

From what I'd heard, apparently they mistranslate some of the text. But in the end, I think it's just need some heavy QC to fix up MoeNovel's mess, which is still the improvement compared to what they did at Konosora.

As for the change, other than remove sex scenes they also change one CG and SD CG - the SD CG was pretty graphic showing Akito's manhood lol, although the script was stay the same (Probably).

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On 29.03.2018 at 12:55 PM, Dergonu said:

The translation will be done when it is done. Since I'm the only translator on the project at the moment, and I'm pretty busy with IRL stuff and what not, progress is quite slow for now. It's being worked on, but we have no ETA. We will post in the thread when we make some significant progress. 

Thanks! You are doing amazing work! Can I help you in something?

On 29.03.2018 at 7:44 PM, Infernoplex said:

Err, we are not translating the whole VN, just the H-scenes xD Sorry, just had to correct you there :D

Oh, I know it, thank you!!

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On 09.04.2018 at 3:11 AM, littleshogun said:

From what I'd heard, apparently they mistranslate some of the text. But in the end, I think it's just need some heavy QC to fix up MoeNovel's mess, which is still the improvement compared to what they did at Konosora.

As for the change, other than remove sex scenes they also change one CG and SD CG - the SD CG was pretty graphic showing Akito's manhood lol, although the script was stay the same (Probably).

And what happened to Konosora? It was translated so bad? I don't know about it, sorry.

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