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A Sky Full of Stars - +18 Restoration [DROPPED]


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3 hours ago, NowItsAngeTime said:

So is it basically a less drama-based and more feel-good/slice of life version of IMHHW?

Pretty much, yeah! IMHHW is for sure a pure "drama", with lots of emotions, eye-tearing moments, with almost every route (except for Ageha's), you dive into the love interest's insecurities, and except for Ageha's route which is a disaster, it's difficult at times to bear the pain of the LIs. ASFOS has a couple moments that will make your eyes watery, but nothing like IMHHW, it's more a chill slice of life dating sim' with a few "nostalgia" moments that can be a bit emotional, but nothing much. At almost no point do you feel sorry for the characters in ASFOS, even when they go through difficult times it's not written in a way as to induce hard sympathy. 

 

3 hours ago, NowItsAngeTime said:

Whyd you consider Korona's route boring? What did you think of other routes?

I liked all 3 routes, imho the game could have been a lot better if they didn't shut down all the other characters once you move on with your love decision. When you start dating a girl, you rarely interact with the other ones after, which means that the game gets only as interesting as the girl you chose is, and Korona is most def plain and boring. She's just way too stereotypical, she's the sister of the friend who wants to be seen like a woman because she not-so-secretly loves the MC... A poor choice to make her an option, I would have much rather played a Narue or Honoka route. 

Edited by DatMetalGuy
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Good luck! I'm not really sure of what kind of scenes were cut from the ASFOS but I agree, it's very annoying when a VNs story isn't in it's full. I don't really want to give MoeNovel any money as though games that PullTop makes are great and deserve money, MoeNovel cutting a lot of the story out and saying "PLZ BUY THIS UNFINISHED PRODUCT" is just a massive scam. This is also the reason that I'm not sure about MoeNovel releasing ASFOS-FD as they'd probably butcher it and someone would have to make a restoration patch (I've tried looking around for people who have done walkthroughs/have ASFOS-FD but I can't seem to find anything.) It's annoying how I can't play the sequel or watch someone else play *sigh*

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14 minutes ago, Kur0 said:

Good luck! I'm not really sure of what kind of scenes were cut from the ASFOS but I agree, it's very annoying when a VNs story isn't in it's full. I don't really want to give MoeNovel any money as though games that PullTop makes are great and deserve money, MoeNovel cutting a lot of the story out and saying "PLZ BUY THIS UNFINISHED PRODUCT" is just a massive scam. This is also the reason that I'm not sure about MoeNovel releasing ASFOS-FD as they'd probably butcher it and someone would have to make a restoration patch (I've tried looking around for people who have done walkthroughs/have ASFOS-FD but I can't seem to find anything.) It's annoying how I can't play the sequel or watch someone else play *sigh*

I am fairly interested in Fine Days fandisc as well, but at the moment I am focusing all my efforts on finishing this. Even this small project will take a lot of time to get done. Regarding Moenovel, well, I think everything had already been said before :)

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7 minutes ago, alchemicalhaze said:

@Infernoplex, Do you have a progress page anywhere?

For now, I have only translated a single script, as I am balancing this with two other projects, and uni work :P

Not much to report at the moment. We will post some more progress as it gets done. 

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30 minutes ago, alchemicalhaze said:

@Infernoplex, Do you have a progress page anywhere?

I do plan to make updates regarding progress, at least on a monthly basis. Regarding current progress, there's not much to report, as Dergonu already said earlier. Be warned that there's tons of lines to go through so it won't be done in a while. This is the progress I snapshoted 10 days ago. This is how it will look like when I update the progress status (regarding H-scene translations). Currently, only one TLer is active at the moment (Dergonu) and he has his own stuff to do besides this so it's definitely gonna take some time but it will get done since we are fairly motivated to see this through. Maybe one more TLer joins soon, but we'll see about that soon.

Also, it would be helpful if an editor pops out in a couple of months or more.

Regarding porting progress, so far it's only some 30 scripts done out of 200+ something.

 

Edited by Infernoplex
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2 hours ago, Infernoplex said:

I am fairly interested in Fine Days fandisc as well, but at the moment I am focusing all my efforts on finishing this. Even this small project will take a lot of time to get done. Regarding Moenovel, well, I think everything had already been said before :)

yeah, that's probably a good idea, I don't really know what I can do to help, I mean... I'm not really sure what needs to be done, I've seen a lot of translators from this project on the steam discussion page that redirects people to this page when they beg MoeNovel for a patch. and I'm also not sure if there are any bugs that could be fixed. I could try playing the game through using the patch and check for any bugs/script errors but apart from that, I'm not really sure what I can do to help.

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7 minutes ago, alchemicalhaze said:

Wow, this VN must have a lot of H!

I don't care how long this take, I am just happy their are translators that care enough to take up huge projects like this! It makes me more motivated in my Japanese study's, even though kanji has scared me away several times in the past. Thanks for all the hard work and effort you guys put into this.

 

what do you use to study Japanese? do you study online or do you have a teacher? It'd be easier if you had a teacher but it really depends how you go about studying it.

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38 minutes ago, alchemicalhaze said:

Wow, this VN must have a lot of H!

I don't care how long this take, I am just happy their are translators that care enough to take up huge projects like this! It makes me more motivated in my Japanese study's, even though kanji has scared me away several times in the past. Thanks for all the hard work and effort you guys put into this.

No, it doesn't have a lot of H... Well, compared to the overall VN that is xD... 17 H-scenes isn't a lot by any stretch of imagination. But Pulltop H-scenes aren't that simple. They have tons of lines and do have a meaning in the story, it's one of those slice of life VNs where without H scenes, it's not the same experience. The reason why the VN has so many script files is because it's very long (well, there are longer VNs out there, but it's still a long VN, with some 46k of lines... this might sound a lot, but there are VNs with 3 or 4 times the size of this one)

36 minutes ago, Kur0 said:

yeah, that's probably a good idea, I don't really know what I can do to help, I mean... I'm not really sure what needs to be done, I've seen a lot of translators from this project on the steam discussion page that redirects people to this page when they beg MoeNovel for a patch. and I'm also not sure if there are any bugs that could be fixed. I could try playing the game through using the patch and check for any bugs/script errors but apart from that, I'm not really sure what I can do to help.

"a lot of translators" - Err, no, you saw Codes :) He currently isn't TLing at the moment and he acts as a moral support for the project. Also, no need to worry, we already got a potential QCer who is willing to help us if any bugs arise.

4 minutes ago, alchemicalhaze said:

20180225_142504.jpg

Nice, very very nice. I have all of these in PDFs, I myself need to go through these books at some point. I want to learn JP as well, but it's god damn hard xD ...

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7 minutes ago, alchemicalhaze said:

I actually have more books, but the more I look for them, the more I realize its that time of year that I need to build the motivation to start my spring cleaning.:(  

The more JP learning materials I have, the more overwhelmed I feel xD I wanted to start with Genki and those "Japanese in MangaLand" books as they seemed the most approachable to tackle. Needless to say, I am yet to seriously start learning xD ... But I do know the bare basics like the entire Kana (Hiragana + Katakana, both reading and writing). And I do have some vocab knowledge as well as common phrases and expresssions, with some 200 kanji knowledge. I guess that'd be enough for me to start learning grammar and other stuff from Genki books and others.

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1 hour ago, alchemicalhaze said:

I know how overwhelming it can be, I have several gigs of Japanese learning material on one of my external hard drives, but I have found It easier for me to learn from physical books than PDF's. Also I am more likely to take it seriously when I spend my hard earned money on it, than when i get them free from some pirate site! Though Pdfs do help me choose what books to choose in the end. If you are serious about learning Japanese, there are quite a few good looking courses on udemy, and you can usually get them for around $20 if you get them during one of udemy's many sales.    

Ah, yeah, I know. Where I live physical books on JP aren't easy to come by (those that actually matter). The only way to get them is to import which I plan to do once I have some more money. As for Udemy, don't take me the wrong way, but I have an impression their JP materials aren't that good. JapanesePod seems like a better solution and a couple of others I saw as well. But Udemy, from what I have seen of it, doesn't breed much confidence into me. They do have good stuff on some other subjects but for JP, I think it's okay maybe for some basics and real lower level stuff but for serious JP, it doesn't seem all that helpful. Correct me if I am wrong? :D

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pls the real reason Pulltop VNs have such long H scenes is because they present challenges to continuous 2D fappers

With such great art, really horny girls, and lots of monologue and dialouge to get you into the details of anime sex they really want to indirectly award people who can make it all the way through the final cumming

It can be quite difficult for me to reach the end of some of these Pulltop H scenes...

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So I was just reading Decay's post on Reddit about Miagete's prose issues. I realized that I only didn't touch this, this (first line in the backlog) and this (I didn't mind the "jerk" word here, and I don't know with what else could I have replaced it... and what's wrong with "just a mere"? Also, I am curious as to why the "Astronomy Club" is always capitalized but not "basketball club", according to Moenovel xD).

Anyone, any input on whether I should touch these at all? To get a full Decay's feedback on the particular lines, look at the Reddit link I posted.

Edit:

Oh, and this one as well. The word "adulting" might not be the best choice of words here but with what else should it be replaced with?

Edited by Infernoplex
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The line in the first image just seemed a bit weird with it's both present and past tense. It's not hard to understand at all though. Perhaps add some symbols to indicate when it changes perspective?

The second. I would just care about that if i had plenty of time tbh, as it's such a minor detail. Otherwise i'd change them to be similar.

Third. That's a tough one. It does get it's message across quite easily with just one word. Otherwise you'd have to add some to the sentence. Doing her adult things/stuff (it is from the perspective of a minor). Again, super minor stuff as the meaning is so easy to grasp. I'd just keep it if it was me.

That's just my take though.

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4 minutes ago, Stormwolf said:

The line in the first image just seemed a bit weird with it's both present and past tense. It's not hard to understand at all though. Perhaps add some symbols to indicate when it changes perspective?

Did you mean this image? Both sentences are in past tense here. The part Decay mentioned was in the brackets ("but totally creepy"). I didn't mind the usage of it in that line and I didn't see the brackets used like that further in the next 20 or so scripts. But I was fine with it there. I take the brackets as a second thought. Maybe I could replace those brackets with just commas between or an EM dashes. That's what I wanted to hear input on here. I mean, I don't have to even touch it but since Decay mentioned it I wanted to see if anybody else thinks the same like him.

8 minutes ago, Stormwolf said:

The second. I would just care about that if i had plenty of time tbh, as it's such a minor detail. Otherwise i'd change them to be similar.

Do you mean this? Can you be more specific with "change them to be similar"? It's the first sentence that Decay was looking at in his Reddit's post.

9 minutes ago, Stormwolf said:

Third. That's a tough one. It does get it's message across quite easily with just one word. Otherwise you'd have to add some to the sentence. Doing her adult things/stuff (it is from the perspective of a minor). Again, super minor stuff as the meaning is so easy to grasp. I'd just keep it if it was me.

Ah, you mean the "adulting"? Yeah, I don't mind that word that much either. Though, the first time I read it, I understood it wrongly. Since it's a very similar word to "adultery" I thought it was talking about "cheating on her boyfriend/husband"... only later on I found it's a slang word describing what Decay talked about. I don't know which other word I could use there so I didn't touch it.

12 minutes ago, Stormwolf said:

That's just my take though.

Any input is as good for me :) ...

I really want to polish this as much as possible since I love this VN very much.

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52 minutes ago, Infernoplex said:

So I was just reading Decay's post on Reddit about Miagete's prose issues. I realized that I only didn't touch this, this (first line in the backlog) and this (I didn't mind the "jerk" word here, and I don't know with what else could I have replaced it... and what's wrong with "just a mere"? Also, I am curious as to why the "Astronomy Club" is always capitalized but not "basketball club", according to Moenovel xD).

Anyone, any input on whether I should touch these at all? To get a full Decay's feedback on the particular lines, look at the Reddit link I posted.

Edit:

Oh, and this one as well. The word "adulting" might not be the best choice of words here but with what else should it be replaced with?

1) I don't know how I would change the first one. I might just go with upping the contrast and using Ms. Beautiful-yet-creepy or some such, but it's the best I can do. The EM dashes can indeed be used effectively as a way to represent a random thought that suddenly crops up.

2) Simple sentences like these suck. I don't know how to even change them ever. So let's look somewhere else.
Consider 'sighed miserably' for better imagery, though the connotations usually associated with it tend to be 'badly' or 'terribly' as opposed to 'looking miserable', so it is likely a poor choice.

3) The issue with 'just a mere' is that they both fulfil the same role. It's similar to the famous 'overly verbose' (except 'overly' wouldn't stand on its own). It isn't wrong, but it is redundant to use both. Or not. If he's trying to sound particularly condescending. As for 'jerk', I have little comment. Going by Decay's own comment, it would seem the word isn't often used this way, though I am entirely fine with it.

4) You might consider 'being/having to be an adult' between quotes, to project the appropriate mental image. Not an elegant solution, however. Other often used alternatives, like 'dealing with real life', don't duly convey the 'adult' correlation, if you intend to keep that idea in.

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24 minutes ago, Mr Poltroon said:

1) I don't know how I would change the first one. I might just go with upping the contrast and using Ms. Beautiful-yet-creepy or some such, but it's the best I can do. The EM dashes can indeed be used effectively as a way to represent a random thought that suddenly crops up.

Actually, the EM dashes sound like the best idea here in my opinion. Though, in all other lines, the EM dashes used were there to convey interruptions or a sentences of this type: "It was a bridge holding back the water - the dam". It would be the first time in the script to use EM dashes to convey a thought that just gets inserted out of nowhere (which is actually what EM dashes can be also used to convey). I like that particular idea so I might go with it :) Thanks!

29 minutes ago, Mr Poltroon said:

2) Simple sentences like these suck. I don't know how to even change them ever. So let's look somewhere else.
Consider 'sighed miserably' for better imagery, though the connotations usually associated with it tend to be 'badly' or 'terribly' as opposed to 'looking miserable', so it is likely a poor choice.

I will be frank here. The Moenovel's translation in many instances has poor word choices (just look a couple of pages back on this thread on my example of "Her open expression cut right through me."). There are many simple sentences that suck to no end. Decay didn't even list the worst offenders in his post (actually, he did some, but there are way more after and between the lines he mentioned). That particular sentence there in that image is one of the examples where the translation was overly literal (and the TL itself on the whole of the VN is overly literal at times). "Orihime sighed and looked miserable" - in my opinion this whole sentence should have been reworded because it conveys too strong feelings. And "sighed miserably" also seems like a poor choice since it still uses the adjective based on "miserable". That word just seems too strong there. Orihime was indeed kind of sad for what Honoka said but "miserable" just feels like too strong of a word to describe that emotion she probably had at that moment and I wasn't sure which other word to use there. I'd need to check the original JP line to see how Moenovel came up with "miserable" but now I believe it was just another case of them doing a very rough literal TL of it.

42 minutes ago, Mr Poltroon said:

3) The issue with 'just a mere' is that they both fulfil the same role. It's similar to the famous 'overly verbose' (except 'overly' wouldn't stand on its own). It isn't wrong, but it is redundant to use both. Or not. If he's trying to sound particularly condescending. As for 'jerk', I have little comment. Going by Decay's own comment, it would seem the word isn't often used this way, though I am entirely fine with it.

Ah, I see now, thanks! Indeed, the meaning of the sentence doesn't change if I use only "just" or "mere", it is an issue of redundacy as you said xD I didn't notice it at all :D Though I did hear the phrase "just a mere" used in spoken English a fair amount of times. I always understood the phrase as a stronger description of "just" and "mere"... "He was just a mere basketball club member.", "He was a mere basketball club member.", "He was just a basketball club member." ... The first sentence sounded like a stronger version of those other two to me. Though I agree the meaning is basically the same and removing one or the other word would make it flow better.

Speaking of redundancies, the VN is really overdoing it at times. I tried to squash all of those whenever I could. Though some like these did slip through since I wasn't aware of them.

53 minutes ago, Mr Poltroon said:

4) You might consider 'being/having to be an adult' between quotes, to project the appropriate mental image. Not an elegant solution, however. Other often used alternatives, like 'dealing with real life', don't duly convey the 'adult' correlation, if you intend to keep that idea in.

I was considering "adult life" as a replacement for "adulting" but I wasn't sure if that word flows well. Alternatives like "dealing with real life" sound too wordy and "being/having to be an adult" as well. I think the word I should replace it with should have 1 or 2 words at max, without any verbs between.

Thank you very much for your input Poltroon! I appreciate it ^_^

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38 minutes ago, Stormwolf said:

The open expression line is pretty weird. Don't know the context, but i bet i'd understand it if i read the scenario leading up to it though.

Okay, let me give some context then :)

Japanese Lines:

Quote

ひかり

宙見くんは、どうして友達作ろうとしないの?

Narration

帚星さんは、前からずっと聞いてみたかった、って感じで言った。

暁斗
俺の勝手だろ


ひかり
ほら、それ。なんか冷めててひねくれてる!

Narration

直球の表現にグサリきた。

Moenovel Lines:

Quote

Hikari

'Why don't you try to make friends with anyone?'

Narration

Hikari looked like she'd been wanting to ask this for a while.

Akito

'It's just how I am.'

Hikari

'See, what is that. It's like you try to be all cold on purpose.'

Narration
Her open expression cut right through me.

My attempt at solving the mess:

Quote

Hikari

"Why are you not making friends with anyone?"

Narration

Hikari looked like she wanted to ask this for a while.

Akito

"It's just how I am."

Hikari

"See, that's what I am talking about. It's like you're trying to be cold on purpose!"

Narration

1) I was taken aback by her directness. 2) Her directness shocked/surprised me. 3) ?

I am still bothered by that last line. Leaving it as Moenovel put it isn't an option since it's a very poor and awkward line. So I need something that reads less awkwardly and is a correct translation of the corresponding JP line.

Have any good ideas?

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35 minutes ago, Stormwolf said:

Most likely that shes so blunt that hes taken aback lile you said. We've had this conversation before :P

Yeah, we did :D ... Doesn't hurt to go back to it from time to time just to make sure I made the right choice :) ...

35 minutes ago, skrewball717 said:

Going from just the English, "Her pushiness/forwardness/bluntness caught me off guard." Sounds a bit better to me. Not a big fan of directness as I can't remember when someone last used it here. It sounds OK if you want to keep it though. All have relatively the same meaning

The reason I went with "directness" specifically is because it seemed to be one of the more often used variants of the particular phrase. Actually, I saw it here and even in the example they used the word "directness". All these words are synonyms of each other (with a slightly different nuance for each): "directness", "frankness", "bluntness", "pushiness", "forwardness", "openness"... But yeah, essentially the example you gave also has the same connotation/meaning.

Now, the last modification I'd make to it is to switch from Passive Voice to Active one. That's what the option 2) is supposed to be. Your example is also in the Active Voice: "Her directness caught me off guard."... So I might go with your example at the end, if I don't hear any other better suggestion :) ... Thanks ^_^

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