Darklord Rooke

You might want to look into Rui wa Tomo wo Yobu ( http://vndb.org/v776 ) . Unfortunately it's not translated.

I wonder... 

I can't believe i actually did it but here it is xD
 

 
+1 for anyone who knows where i got the cockroach :3

X-change is a nukige where the main character gets turned into a girl and gets raped a lot.

Uninteresting filler dialogue that neither shows us something new about the characters nor advances the plot--like random battles in RPGs that you have to grind through to get to the good stuff.  Too much of this and I'll drop the game.

I'd just like to point out that sound bytes carefully picked to demonstrate a point neither confirm nor refute the point in question.  Especially when the source material in question is a single word or otherwise not a complete sentence.  I could pick out some phrases from my FF14 chat log that would have you scratching your head too if I asked you to "translate" them.

Time to summon xkcd once again.
 

So here's the scene. It's only half-way edited. I haven't finished editing the scene because it needs to be rewritten for the novella and therefore motivation to edit and polish is low. Still not happy with my prose. Especially my second paragraph. And the third. And the rest of it.
 
Try not to expect too much. Charm completely over-hyped it. It's not that good.
 
That's actually worth repeating. DON'T expect too much, it's just a gag scene and Charm COMPLETELY over-hyped the thing.
 
It's a story vaguely related to ear hygiene, which were the exact words Charm used when I accepted the topic. So it is very vaguely related to ear hygiene. Oh, and the scene was only half-way done.
 

Look on the bright side. At least you weren't with a 'lady friend' at the time

That doesn't sound at all stalker-ish.
 
Congrats Down.

*Races into thread*
 
BLACKGUARDS people! Blackguards is almost upon us! Ahahahahahaha
 
*Charges out*
 
EDIT: http://www.daedalic.de/en/game/Blackguards

I like JAST because they release the sort of high profile games I want to play.  Mangagamer releases more titles, but not more titles I want to play.  Since I started playing titles in Japanese ho-hum titles in English just don't excite me anymore.
 
 
 
JAST provided added value there by licensing the HQ edition.  The fan translation was for the original release.

If the screenshots are accurate samples of your writing, then I don't need to play the demo. And if they aren't accurate examples of your writing, then they're pretty poor advertisments (you should post up-to-date screenshots.) A bit of context, I live in Australia, the land of hella expensive internet. It's even more expensive when you know that I'm using a wireless dongle. I know internet is cheap in the UK and the US, but it's expensive in Australia. I'm not downloading a half-a-gig demo when the screenshots (which are supposed to indicate what the game is like) are in such a poor state.
 
When I said 'it sucked me out of the story' what I meant was your long sentences don't flow, they get clunky and I notice your prose rather than paying attention to the image your prose is creating. I don't know exactly why, but it's your job as an editor to be noticing these things. Maybe it's a case of redundant language or weak adjective use. They can really drag the longer sentences down. Does it take that much effort to edit a few screenshots? For example:
 
"Avoiding any interaction at all is much safer than pushing it just to see how far I can get involved with someone before they become affected."
 
I'm getting stuck in the middle of this sentence. I feel like I have to slog through it with effort and a paddle. I can't read a story with writing like this, I'd be hurling things before long. Maybe if we delete the redundant words, and do a bit of rearranging:
 
Avoiding all interaction is safer than pushing things, seeing how far I can get involved with someone before they become affected.
 
How about replacing weak words with stronger words?
 
"Avoiding all interaction is safer than pushing things, testing how fond of someone I must become before they are affected."
 
I'm still not happy (because I'm a perfectionist) but I'm not slogging my way through the sentence, which is a plus. On the con side, I might have just changed the meaning of your passage.
 
"Once I got to arms distance, I crouched to match her height and flashed her my best attempt at a smile."
 
A bit of a slog. Delete 'got to arms distance', most people just say they 'reached' her. Also you should be aware that 'best attempt' is a weak adjective, you don't have to change it, just be aware of it and limit their number. It's weak because it does a poor job describing the smile. You could opt to describe the smile in the next sentence, or use a stronger adjective (you could choose quivering, or tired, they're much better descriptive words. Best attempt could mean anything and is verging on being padding.) I'm undecided if 'match her height' is redundant or not.
 
There's lots more, but I can't be bothered going through them. These are just basic edits to make the game readable. I don't think my standards are that high, but I don't want to be stuttering all the way through your prose. It frustrates me.
 
Also, I don't insinuate. I'm rubbish with subtleties so if I want to say something, I just say it.

Thought I'd see what happened if I put Tay's post through gizoogle........
 
.......
 
 
 
 
Sorry Tay. But I think the new version has more character, though

I've never used a Torrent either. I suppose one day I'll be forced to learn how, but that day hasn't arrived yet.
 
Welcome nicole1312. I'd post a welcome image full of blood, gore and people fondling intestines, but I'm too lazy I've misplaced it.

Spam Hell.

I feel sorry for the voice actors who have to act out these scenes.

No MLA, SnY or Grisaia? No KID novels? Thats quite weird selection.
Also, KiraKira? Its slightly-above-average, but hard to see why it would be in this list, its no better than, say, Quartett or Period.

Must be, 'cause everyone knows there are no girls on the internet.

Well, without a warning my previous post got deleted (I wonder why). Ill just guess that I cant post 4chan links.

Glad to know you hate 4chan and VNDB

So heres an image!

GG Aaeru, keep doing what you do

I hope im not breaking any rules this time ;)/>/>

Only 5? I'm a moody guy! My top games shift with my moods! So what I'll do is just name my favourite game from 5 different categories and that will be my list. Okay:

RPG - Baldur's Gate 2 (this changes depending on my mood, but atm it's BG2.)

Strategy - Total War Shogun 2 (This does not change with my moods. Awesome game!)

Modern RPG (it's a totally different category!) - The Witcher, enhanced edition (Yeah, Dragon Age really did pinch a lot from the Witcher, didn't it . Dark, mature, choices and consequences, excellent story based off the novels, shitty combat... but we'll just ignore that last part, okay?)

JRPG - Valkyria Chronicles - (innovative but not pointlessly so, mature, beautiful, fun. An all-round wonderful experience. Then the sequel came out )

Sandbox - Morrowind (Yes I've played both Oblivion and Skyrim. Yes I think Morrowind is better than both. No it's not because I have 'epic nostaligia.')

Hello~ Everyone, please still be my friend after I bring up this topic (>-<)! I'm just more curious (Chitanda style) than anything else, so here the backstory:

The other day, I received some feedback for my game, Unhack. The person was friendly so all good. Anyway, he mentioned my writing was trivial and that there were a lot of lines that contributed to no characterization or purpose. I must admit this made me go awww because succinct storytelling is something I've studied and strived to do for over a decade now (wanted to become a novelist before this).

We then discussed about whether commercial visual novels have unneeded scenes. I love older (not Key but oh well) works like ONE. Kanon was pretty all right, too. Recently, I tried to play Little Busters and Rewrite. I'll just focus on LB. This impatient old man here stopped playing because of these things:





Next, I watched the anime in its entirely. Now, many say the VN is far better, and that's cool because this is usually the case. I must wonder, though, just how much better could it possibly be? The anime had entire episodes dedicated to:





Last, the anime featured a few routes, including Komari and Kud's routes. I have no doubt the VN's versions could be far better. But to be truthful, when those two routes ended in the anime, I thought, "I'm glad I didn't read the VN for 20+ hours for this kind of path". Haruka's one was pretty cool, though, so it's probably just a matter of some routes being better than others.

I'm particularly curious (and admittedly hurt) because people might say "look at how Key does it their writing is masterful" and I see the above things. If folks said, "look at Narcissu", then I'd go yeah now that's a masterpiece. Of course, it's all subjective. There's something I must go ahead and bring up, though. Let's take Clannad for example. Take out all of those amazing artworks in the game and replace them with subpar ones (like mine XD). Let's swap out those amazing soundtracks for some low budget piano ones, too. Would the writing suddenly seem far less flawed? I'd suspect that it would for many.

I'm going to sign off by contradicting myself. Madoka is a show that I feel is straight to be point and every scene has a purpose. Yet, for this very reason, I feel like I failed to like the characters as much as I could have. There were no scenes where the girls were just aimlessly fooling around. Those scenes are often the ones that help you grow attached to a cast. A bit like K-On. I have no answers. Just curious for some thoughts and the potential to get better.

Thank you heaps m(_ _)m!

There was a really good blog post written by (much loved indie-developer) Jeff Vogel, about when it is okay to steal games/VNs/movies:



http://jeff-vogel.blogspot.com.au/2010/07/sometimes-its-ok-to-steal-my-games.html

I agree, I think Morrowind is better than Skyrim and Oblivion (And I prefer Skyrim than Oblivion xD)

My List:
1. Morrowind (With MGSO3 + other mods)
2. Dragon Age: Origins
3. Mount & Blade
4. Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time
5. Street Fighter Series

In my experience, it's difficult to get a consensus on which game is Key's best. 3 different people will give you 3 different answers. It's as if each game resonates with a different section of gamers.

To me, Clannad swung viciously from incredibly funny to really boring back to incredibly funny. It was an incredibly inconsistent and frustrating experience. I ended up dropping it 10 minutes into afterstory. Kanon, however, constantly had me in tears and is still my favourite Key game.