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Fuwanovel Confessions


OriginalRen

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Confession: Completely relapsed into my old "Above all, do no homework" self. 

Realized that my dream of getting in a top tier university is more than likely to never happen. MIT and shit accept only like 5 people max each from this country, I don't believe that I can be that good. Funny thing. Expected to get into something top level all my life, so now it feels weird to sincerely consider stuff that's less. 

Almost 2 am and I've spent the last 2.5 or so hours browsing Reddit. 

Currently trying to balance my expectations from myself(bringing it down reasonably from Yale, MIT, etc.)  and what I'm doing to bring myself up(currently an absolute bunch of fucking NOTHING except getting into a few new clubs) to said expectations. My counselor also told me that I'm putting too much pressure on myself, which drives me away from working (this is closely related to the fact that, as stated, I wouldn't consider myself completely happy if I ever failed to be successful in education). 

Kind of ironic (and tragic) that even though I want to major in physics/astrophysics/computer science/ computer engineering (I never see quantum physics majors so) I don't like math much.

I find myself more interested in abstract concepts than any sort of measurement or calculation. (e.g. instead of orbital calculations I'd rather try to devise methods to develop artificial intelligence or try to get quantum computing working as a future career)

I'm going to be a sore disappointment for all that know me. I feel like I've started to loathe myself. 

Escapism feels beautiful.

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Confession: Pon Pon Pon might be the best pop song of all time

There's a nightcore version on youtube with Illya.

You mean they butchered it? God damn it.

Also: Nightcore is not a genre

No, I mean they sped it up in a video and put Illya on the cover.  In it's basest form it's an adjective for songs that means 'sped up'.

Edited by Zodai
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Confession: Pon Pon Pon might be the best pop song of all time

There's a nightcore version on youtube with Illya.

You mean they butchered it? God damn it.

Also: Nightcore is not a genre

No, I mean they sped it up in a video and put Illya on the cover.  In it's basest form it's an adjective for songs that means 'sped up'.

They literally hit the 1.75x speed switch or something and failed to modulate the tone of the actual song.  Doing this takes all of 2 mins of reencoding and Winamp with a plugin does it on the fly.  In fact, that winamp plugin does better by down toning it back to the original frequencies so you don't get chipmonk and treble leaning tones.  0/10 shit version.  Typical nightcore.

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I am just having that problem of stressing out over what I wanna do with my life. Of course, because stress breeds more stress, I am also stressing and digging up old anxieties that have nothing do with having no idea what to do moving forward.

Confession: It's kinda funny that I come running here before talking to people in-depth about it irl. :P

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I am just having that problem of stressing out over what I wanna do with my life. Of course, because stress breeds more stress, I am also stressing and digging up old anxieties that have nothing do with having no idea what to do moving forward.

Confession: It's kinda funny that I come running here before talking to people in-depth about it irl. :P

Write a whole bunch.  It's what I decided to do.  xD

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