Barry Benson

People get way too salty sometimes, but yes. I do agree with everyone's opinion here.
 

.

One night, I had fapped five times to hcgs on exhentai; my dick was sore, my sheets pregnant with ejaculate. I fell into a deep sleep, then was pulled into a vision. Assembled before me was God, Allah, Conjueror, Moogy, Aaeru, Peter Payne, Jesus, fifteen clones of Makoto JAST has been breeding in secret to take over the market in 2032, Alexander O. Smith, Sca-Ji, Tanaka Romeo, and Ryuukishi07. I could feel Koestl's approval as well but he wasn't there because he's really shy. They unanimously agreed that I was the Chosen Lord of the Visual Novel category. All I do is abide by their decision.

To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Hoshimemo. The humour is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of creative writing most of the lines will go over a typical reader's head. There’s also Chuee's nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into the characterisation of the heroines- his personal philosophy draws heavily from Leyline, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these lines, to realise that they’re not just badly written - they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike Hoshimemo's Translation truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn’t appreciate, for instance, the deepness in the narrator's existential catchphrase “Mare's face is instantly shrouds in a hue of weariness,” which itself is a cryptic reference to Fred's favourite VN Karakara 2 (which he gave a 5/5, mind you). I’m smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Chuee’s genius wit unfolds itself on their PC screens. What fools.. how I pity them.  And yes, by the way, i DO have a Hoshimemo tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It’s for the waifus’ eyes only- and even then they have to demonstrate that they’re within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand. Nothin personnel kid 

@Stormwolf Just ignore him and treat his (Barry Benson) post as the spam if I may suggest something
Anyway, as for this review I can't help but wonder whether Fuwanovel here dislike Hoshimemo for personal reason, because I find it that two of the reviews here gave the bad score. Although in the end, it's up to each people though to like it or not so it's not like I could say much about it (Or ban Fred if I'm the moderator here). Oh, and thanks for indirectly supporting my opinion that this release was super redundant there lol, because at least the fan translated version should have all the lines translated.
PS - By the way, according to one post that I'd read, Akerou himself was Germany so at least Fred was right in regard of the translator was non-native English speaker.

To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Hoshimemo. The humour is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of creative writing most of the lines will go over a typical reader's head. There’s also Chuee's nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into the characterisation of the heroines- his personal philosophy draws heavily from Leyline, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these lines, to realise that they’re not just badly written - they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike Hoshimemo's Translation truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn’t appreciate, for instance, the deepness in the narrator's existential catchphrase “Mare's face is instantly shrouds in a hue of weariness,” which itself is a cryptic reference to Fred's favourite VN Karakara 2 (which he gave a 5/5, mind you). I’m smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Chuee’s genius wit unfolds itself on their PC screens. What fools.. how I pity them.  And yes, by the way, i DO have a Hoshimemo tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It’s for the waifus’ eyes only- and even then they have to demonstrate that they’re within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand. Nothin personnel kid 

To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Hoshimemo. The humour is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of creative writing most of the lines will go over a typical reader's head. There’s also Chuee's nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into the characterisation of the heroines- his personal philosophy draws heavily from Leyline, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these lines, to realise that they’re not just badly written - they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike Hoshimemo's Translation truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn’t appreciate, for instance, the deepness in the narrator's existential catchphrase “Mare's face is instantly shrouds in a hue of weariness,” which itself is a cryptic reference to Fred's favourite VN Karakara 2 (which he gave a 5/5, mind you). I’m smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Chuee’s genius wit unfolds itself on their PC screens. What fools.. how I pity them.  And yes, by the way, i DO have a Hoshimemo tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It’s for the waifus’ eyes only- and even then they have to demonstrate that they’re within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand. Nothin personnel kid 

You're very welcome, thanks so much for reading Lesiak!
Ace Academy is an awesome game as well, the fact that it had a fully platonic route, and even an ending for the "token male best friend" character, impressed me very much. PixelFade's products will always be on my radar, too. I should have noted that Crystalline is being released episodically, but even with just 3 / 5 chapters released I feel I've gotten my money's worth in laughs already. Also, the animations and general art are of exceptional quality for a western VN, in my humble opinion.
Thank you very much for the translation. Jigaishitekudasai to you too, Mr. Benson, for making a mockery of my hard work here.

"Shameful disupuree!!," shouted the angry Samurais while waving their swords in a very exaggerated manner.
"Korose, korose!," shouted one of the Samurai zealots.
"D-demo, what did he do wrong senpai ;W;?," said one of the initiates.
"He did the worst kind of sin: he included chink and anglo VN's in the list, he didn't even add an untranslated game into the list!," responded the kouhai's senpai.
"B-But, why does he have to die, can't he just repent his sins by reading a Masada work?"
While the Samurais were shouting, Zander came out of the building, escorted by the one and only Emperor of all the Nihonjins: Hirohito. In a fit of rage, Hirohito pushed Zander and placed his head in the wood log, pushing it against it with his waraji, and then chanted:
"This person has commited the biggest sin: putting non-japanese titles approved by le watashi in his list, and to add insult to the matter, he added an English VN, the filthiest form of VN's (should we even call them that?) May this punishment serve as an example to all normie newfags who dwell in this forum / glorious nippon.
Then, just as he finished saying that, he raised his Katana and chopped Zander's head off, dropping a tear right as he did so.
"Today, we've lost a great warrior, he had so much potential..." said Hirohito, holding back his salty tears.
Later, Hirohito signed a peace treaty with the United States and killed himself (never forgetti.)
 
Anyways, Zander, to sum everything up, Jigaishitekudasai.
Love,
Barry B.

"Shameful disupuree!!," shouted the angry Samurais while waving their swords in a very exaggerated manner.
"Korose, korose!," shouted one of the Samurai zealots.
"D-demo, what did he do wrong senpai ;W;?," said one of the initiates.
"He did the worst kind of sin: he included chink and anglo VN's in the list, he didn't even add an untranslated game into the list!," responded the kouhai's senpai.
"B-But, why does he have to die, can't he just repent his sins by reading a Masada work?"
While the Samurais were shouting, Zander came out of the building, escorted by the one and only Emperor of all the Nihonjins: Hirohito. In a fit of rage, Hirohito pushed Zander and placed his head in the wood log, pushing it against it with his waraji, and then chanted:
"This person has commited the biggest sin: putting non-japanese titles approved by le watashi in his list, and to add insult to the matter, he added an English VN, the filthiest form of VN's (should we even call them that?) May this punishment serve as an example to all normie newfags who dwell in this forum / glorious nippon.
Then, just as he finished saying that, he raised his Katana and chopped Zander's head off, dropping a tear right as he did so.
"Today, we've lost a great warrior, he had so much potential..." said Hirohito, holding back his salty tears.
Later, Hirohito signed a peace treaty with the United States and killed himself (never forgetti.)
 
Anyways, Zander, to sum everything up, Jigaishitekudasai.
Love,
Barry B.

TL/N: jigaishitekudasai means krill urself

"Shameful disupuree!!," shouted the angry Samurais while waving their swords in a very exaggerated manner.
"Korose, korose!," shouted one of the Samurai zealots.
"D-demo, what did he do wrong senpai ;W;?," said one of the initiates.
"He did the worst kind of sin: he included chink and anglo VN's in the list, he didn't even add an untranslated game into the list!," responded the kouhai's senpai.
"B-But, why does he have to die, can't he just repent his sins by reading a Masada work?"
While the Samurais were shouting, Zander came out of the building, escorted by the one and only Emperor of all the Nihonjins: Hirohito. In a fit of rage, Hirohito pushed Zander and placed his head in the wood log, pushing it against it with his waraji, and then chanted:
"This person has commited the biggest sin: putting non-japanese titles approved by le watashi in his list, and to add insult to the matter, he added an English VN, the filthiest form of VN's (should we even call them that?) May this punishment serve as an example to all normie newfags who dwell in this forum / glorious nippon.
Then, just as he finished saying that, he raised his Katana and chopped Zander's head off, dropping a tear right as he did so.
"Today, we've lost a great warrior, he had so much potential..." said Hirohito, holding back his salty tears.
Later, Hirohito signed a peace treaty with the United States and killed himself (never forgetti.)
 
Anyways, Zander, to sum everything up, Jigaishitekudasai.
Love,
Barry B.

"Shameful disupuree!!," shouted the angry Samurais while waving their swords in a very exaggerated manner.
"Korose, korose!," shouted one of the Samurai zealots.
"D-demo, what did he do wrong senpai ;W;?," said one of the initiates.
"He did the worst kind of sin: he included chink and anglo VN's in the list, he didn't even add an untranslated game into the list!," responded the kouhai's senpai.
"B-But, why does he have to die, can't he just repent his sins by reading a Masada work?"
While the Samurais were shouting, Zander came out of the building, escorted by the one and only Emperor of all the Nihonjins: Hirohito. In a fit of rage, Hirohito pushed Zander and placed his head in the wood log, pushing it against it with his waraji, and then chanted:
"This person has commited the biggest sin: putting non-japanese titles approved by le watashi in his list, and to add insult to the matter, he added an English VN, the filthiest form of VN's (should we even call them that?) May this punishment serve as an example to all normie newfags who dwell in this forum / glorious nippon.
Then, just as he finished saying that, he raised his Katana and chopped Zander's head off, dropping a tear right as he did so.
"Today, we've lost a great warrior, he had so much potential..." said Hirohito, holding back his salty tears.
Later, Hirohito signed a peace treaty with the United States and killed himself (never forgetti.)
 
Anyways, Zander, to sum everything up, Jigaishitekudasai.
Love,
Barry B.

Are you sick of immersing yourself into a good story when a wayward, stiff penis drags you out of the plot and into an entirely different dimension?
Do you think H-scenes are deplorable and exemplification of how far humanity has strayed from God's original vision for mankind? Does it upset you when your virtual chaste relationship with a VN character is progressing well when you suddenly open the door on her while she is changing, without any player input?
Fear not, then, my friend, for you are not alone. Gaze upon the forthcoming list without need to fear even a single ounce of sin weighing upon your eyes.
 
1: Gaokao.Love.100.Days
"Getting a girl-friend before the National College Entrance Exam... I know it's crazy, but from today on, we will face everything together."
Have you ever wanted to experience the stress of being a Chinese high school student facing the most important exam of his life? Have you ever wanted to disappoint not only your parents in real life, but also your virtual Chinese parents when they both find out you are diddling anime girls in your spare time instead of studying? Want to experience the meta sensation of being yelled at by your parents as you are yelled at by your parents?
Boy do I have the VN for you. Feel the intense passion of a non-sexual relationship with your chosen girl, feel the platonic bonds between you and your male friends also struggling with their life-school balance, and feel the hole burning in your pocket as you struggle to make an income while buying gifts to purchase your chosen girl's affection. Who needs a good personality?
2: Lucy -The Eternity She Wished For-
If there was a robot that could laugh, cry and smile...
Does it have a soul?
In the world of Lucy -The Eternity She Wished For-, genetic ingineering has made robot anime girl slaves possible. All the better, they possess no emotions or feelings whatsoever. However, the protagonist stumbles upon an abandoned android servant; one that appears to have emotions, dreams, and feels pain just as humans do.
How will you treat Lucy? Banish her back to the dumpsite as just another robot? Treat her as an equal human? Close the game and look up fanmade H-scenes of her on Google like a degenerate? Somewhere in between?
No matter what you choose, PG-13 tears await you.
3: Crystalline
Crystalline is a comedy-centric, fantasy adventure visual novel with an intricate romance system.
It's pretty much universally accepted that Western OELVNs are superior and better written than their original Japanese counterparts, and Crystalline is no exception to that. Rather than the traditional godless trope of having a "harem" of many girls to choose from following "routes" in Asian VNs, Crystalline emphasizes Western morals and values by only offering a single female "route". 
Unsurprisingly, that single route is far more developed and intricate than routes present in "harem" games. Go on meaningful dates as you travel around a fantasy world, interacting with a host of interesting and humorous characters as you attempt to find your way back to the world you came from.
 
I look forward to hearing everyone's opinions! Thanks so much for reading!

あのねぇ、俺様は誰だと分かってるのか？
二百人のアイドルを育ったＰちゃんだよ。あんたみたいな〇ンポ野郎なんて死んじゃえばいい。
ちなみに俺様の年収は5000兆円だ。どれだけか分かってる？5倍あんたの母ちゃんの体積だ。
 
青空霧

Here it is the most wanted info of 2017 2018 by the most wanted loli (that would be illegal) person on Fuwomofuyayyynovel.
I'd like to write a reaaally nice speech here but since most of you are impatient fucks living things so shikatanai (it can't be helped)
*drumm roll*
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
The koropokkuru (those green faggots) made me do this
Many koropokkuru were harmed while doing this.

Hewwo guys (´･ω･`), my name is bawwy benson, but for my friends im just bawwy (I have no fwiends though so feelsbadman ;w;). Anywaywz, I just thought that this website is a little bit poop-tier and I thought about bwinging in some gweatness again to it ヽ(＾Д＾)ﾉ
My favopuwite novels awe Gwisaia Yes Kajijutsu and Katawa Shoujo (sowwy for bad english ;w;). 
Be sure to no bully me pls gays, because my dad works for Reddit and he can ban your gamecube account.
(ᗒᗨᗕ)
Ps: pls no bully for my good taste in EOP vn's.

Hewwo guys (´･ω･`), my name is bawwy benson, but for my friends im just bawwy (I have no fwiends though so feelsbadman ;w;). Anywaywz, I just thought that this website is a little bit poop-tier and I thought about bwinging in some gweatness again to it ヽ(＾Д＾)ﾉ
My favopuwite novels awe Gwisaia Yes Kajijutsu and Katawa Shoujo (sowwy for bad english ;w;). 
Be sure to no bully me pls gays, because my dad works for Reddit and he can ban your gamecube account.
(ᗒᗨᗕ)
Ps: pls no bully for my good taste in EOP vn's.

Hewwo guys (´･ω･`), my name is bawwy benson, but for my friends im just bawwy (I have no fwiends though so feelsbadman ;w;). Anywaywz, I just thought that this website is a little bit poop-tier and I thought about bwinging in some gweatness again to it ヽ(＾Д＾)ﾉ
My favopuwite novels awe Gwisaia Yes Kajijutsu and Katawa Shoujo (sowwy for bad english ;w;). 
Be sure to no bully me pls gays, because my dad works for Reddit and he can ban your gamecube account.
(ᗒᗨᗕ)
Ps: pls no bully for my good taste in EOP vn's.

konnichiwharro since Kiri actually made an AMA thread, I have to do one myself and stuff now so どうぞよろしくお願いいたします～
now here's the part where I spam smug faces:
 

I very good translater. I want take job. when do I begin. and how about pay?

Tfw Mikandi JP just wants us to suffer for over 50+ hours just so we can kill ourselves and stop asking the Japanese companies for English Translations. What an amazing master plan, gotta give it to them.