Katatsumuri

Just take it and dump that vile, toxin in the nearest harbor. Show the world that you have the FREEDOM and energy to make good reviews. Someone, somewhere Probably  believes in you.

Well lads, I finally went and reviewed Little Busters! And not once did I mention pancakes. Momma would be proud. Go give it a read, and let me know how wrong I am
 
Review here

Mfw this won't even affect 95% of the people posting in here anyway

RE: "Ban everything!" 
 
Guys, the world is full of hypocrisy. I see murder or graphic violence all the time in hospitals. If you've witnessed it, you know how profoundly messed up it is. Yet for some reason, Western culture is fine with it in entertainment. The same goes for many other social constructs. Life is hypocrisy, and all change in life is ironic to some degree or another. 
 
The sexualization of children, for various reasons, is considered wrong by most governments. Child porn, pedophilia, and molestation -- whether real or simulated -- is illegal. Not only is it illegal, it's actively pursued and prosecuted. 
 
You may disagree with this move or hate that it had to take place, but the fact is that I have to make the hard decisions to protect the site so that it's here tomorrow, next week, and in five years. Why this issue and not another? Because it came up for the first time since the move and I realized that we're more vulnerable now than in the past. Period.

We've all had someone "like" one of our posts, but have you ever wondered if anyone has ever, like, like-like "liked" your post? Well, now you can find out thanks to this handy-dandy .csv file I made after a couple of hours of coding and waiting for the programs to hunt down every single like on Fuwanovel. Admittedly this only has about 99% of the likes because some of them are either on hidden boards or from members whose accounts have been deleted, but I think that's good enough.
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1SLtJc-1Hoq_w9e498zgi9j1f_-8QMyQBPbE4aNK2-Bk/edit?usp=sharing
Now, the next step is to analyze and graph the data, but I need to sleep and then go to work, and even once that's done I haven't done any proper data analysis in a couple of years, so if anyone wants to get started without me, feel free. 
 
Most likes given


  Most mutually beneficial relationships

 
Least noticed by their senpai


  Senpai noticed me (a little)

 
Equivalent exchange

Interestingly enough, it seems my gambit worked. Only one member of the Military Police managed to hold on to their spot in the top 3. Now, the prizes Ren has offered, I will let him decide how those go out so hold on for just a little bit longer for the Infinity games and the Key Memorial Box. For everything else, the first place winner gets to pick their prize first from the available. The second place winner gets to pick second, and the third, well you get it. Note: Pancake mix was a joke, but if you want it bad enough, I'll buy you a gift card to a local grocery store.
 
FOR EVERYONE WHO WAS A PART OF THE FINAL WEEK: You will all be getting a little something. I can't say when I can do it, but I will do everything I can to give you all a little treat for hanging in there and putting up with all of this madness and stupidity on my end. I fully recognize and understand that this contest was a clusterfuck, all of which was my fault for not properly planning, and not keeping up with it as well as I should have. So, I do apologize for that, and I hope that the small prize will be of some consolation, as well as hopefully restoring a little faith in me. I am aware that this contest may have hurt my "stellar" reputation. 
 
Now then, I won't go and post everyone's score here. Just the top 5. If you want to know your score, and where you placed, feel free to send me a PM. Now then, on to the main event.
 
In 5th place, finishing in a tie with 43 points, are MasterWizard, and Norah_Crises
In 4th place, with 45 points, is Quark
In 3rd place, with 58 points, Flutterz (he somehow wins something in every contest ever run)
Finishing 2nd place, with 61 points, congratulate Suikashoujo (who should be extremely thankful for the sacrifices of Rose and vibrantblade this past week)
 
And our first place winner, with 94 points, and one incredibly lucky day, is Edumax! Be sure to send me a PM with your prize of choice 
 
Again, thank you to everyone who stuck around. Things got rough in the middle, and I could have done much better, but you all hung in there to the end. Again, thank you.
 
If you have any final questions, comments, concerns or just want to yell and scream at me for being shitty at running a contest, feel free to send a PM. The top 3 winners will not change though. 
 
And Zodai, because I know my curious Garrison spokesperson will want to know, you finished with 28 points

Ha, you thought this would be sappy. You know me better than that.
 

 
As the longest tenured member to reach 3000 posts to date, it is my duty to do a proper 3000th post. One that preaches maturity, generosity, and above all, a sense of superiority.
 
You see, back in my day, there were no rigged banner votes, there was no Zakamutt running a blog, there was no Rooke scaring little kids as Australia murdered everything he loved (mostly books and western rpgs). Back in my time, there was one thing we worried about... piracy. Thats gone now, replaced by Zakamutt. Soon, I assume we will be changing our slogan to, "Make Zakamutt Popular in the West". I've spent years building this Swedish robot, and its time to unleash Zakabot on the world. First it was the Fuwablog, then Fuwatwitter. Soon, Fuwaworld.
 
When I joined, I originally needed help on getting Never7 to run, as I've mentioned before. I never got that help, and never will. Never7 will Never run 24/7. I was in the middle of reading Ever17 and Clannad, having only read Analogue up to that point. VNs were a whole new world to me and I loved them.
 
Then came fucking Little god damn worthless shitty ass Busters. Fuck stupid rocket ships, fuck seagulls, fuck Groundhog Day, fuck pancakes, and fuck Refrain. Little Busters began a slow downward spiral for me. I presumed things would be better when I read Paca Plus. They... did not. But what really broke me... what drove my face into the dirt and piss all over me was Fading Hearts. It was at that moment, Miyazaka's words came back to me. "Visual Novels were a mistake." So here I sit, hating the medium of visual novels, with the realization that they are simply porn games, or excuses for panty shots, or sad examples of how disconnected from the real world some people are, or just Key being shits and deus ex machina-ing their way out of any meaningful drama and endings. 
 
And guess what? This Fuwanovel site, that loves VNs, has me, a hater of VNs, reviewing one of the biggest fan translations of the year with Majikoi! I asked to do it though. Because when has something so hyped ever been bad?
 
Oh, that reminds me. I did read a bit of the demo of Nekopara before asking myself what the fuck I was doing with my life. 
 
So how do I feel about Fuwanovel after 3000 posts? I'm really only here for the people at this point. Sure, helping out with the Facebook and Twitter are fun, but the shit posting here is perfect. Shit, if I ever actually have to talk about VNs or anime at this point, I might have to quit since I'll have nothing to say. 
 
So yeah, Merry 3000 posts to me. May the next 3000 be better, or worse. Doesn't matter. I'll quit when its boring anyway. Or I'll get perma-banned. I'm one warning point away from that.
 
 
 
PS: Unban Run, nerf Scottsune, unleash the Tay-Batman, and call Nosebleed a faggot.
 
Praise Scott
 

Good day soldiers! Today I have gathered you all for a very simple purpose! After weeks of evaluation, it is now time for me to assign you to the branch of military we have deemed you worthy for. You will either end up in the Survey Corps, acting as the vanguard to our assaults against the Titans, the Garrison, ensuring the safety of our city walls, and protecting the citizens, or the Military Police, the elite few who guard the King, and government officials. 
 
YOUR DUTY IS TO KILL TITANS AND THREATS TO HUMANITY. FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION.
 
Assignments are as follow:
Survey Corps
vibrantblade
SuperOreman
Suikashoujo
Kimossab
Stray Cat
Rose
Noah_Crisis
Brensen
Nekomimishinigami
 
Garrison
Flutterz
Ivangelato
Silverbullet 312
Atorq
Kyrt
Gurluas
Zodai
 
Military Police
Edumax
Quark
MasterWizard
Katatsumuri
 
 
 
HOW THIS WORKS:
This game will be decided through various dice rolls (slightly similar to D&D). Over the next 2 weeks, 7 scenarios will be presented with various courses of actions to choose from. Your branch will decide what to do and we will see how it affects you through dice rolls. For example, the garrison might be faced with a Titan breaking through the walls. They can choose to fight, evacuate citizens, retreat to a more defensible spot, or flee. Picking one option will affect the next scenario (similar to a choose your own adventure). 
 
What I need from your teams, is within 24 hours, elect a spokesperson that will PM me the choices your branch makes. In this thread, I will record those choices for everyone to see and also post the scenarios. It is highly advisable you all set up group PMs for your teams. Please do not discuss team activities in this thread. This thread is now reserved for questions, and scenarios/results.
 
SCORING:
Scoring will follow as such. Each scenario for a team will result in a certain amount of points for that team. The Survey Corps will have the highest valued scenarios, but also the highest lose points scenarios/negative impact scenarios. The Garrison will be average, and the Military Police will have very low scoring scenarios/low risk scenarios. Note: What one branch does, can affect another branch very easily. Notice how the Garrison is made up of the top 4 scorers. If all of this doesn't make sense, it will after the first scenario.
 
The first scenario will begin when I receive PMs from all 3 spokespeople. If you don't see your name in any of the three branches, just let me know, and I will correct that If you have questions, feel free to ask. I will be lurking most of the day. 

Fuck it. The card drawing part of this is cancelled and I am now adding a Week 9. There is no way I can punish those who cheated, and I am 100% confident some of you did. However, I have plenty of homework due today, and no time to waste drawing your cards because you can't seem to be honest about it. 
 
Again, this event is cancelled. Look for one final betting event tonight. And prepare for a horrible, evil Week 8. 

I am extremely suspicious now of the pretty unbelievable amount of 20's drawn. My drawing is now delayed as I decide if I feel you guys were honest with this. 

FINAL UPDATE
                Project finished. Check 1st post for details and links.

That was hurtful

This is a quick guide to get people familiarized with Fuwanovel's mythos. It's very important to know as this is deeply tied with how Fuwans spend their daily lives and you wouldn't want to make a mistake to anger them.

After reading this, I am confident you will understand how Fuwanovel works from the inside out.



  Deities and other notorious figures


Scottsune Miku

Scott is our lord and savior.
He offers us Domino's pizza and lets us have fun with Hatsune Miku.
Every person on Fuwanovel needs to at least pay him proper respect and thank him for the life they've been given.
He has done many feats in the past such as become the person with the most posts, most profile views, most warning points and most swag. He truly is the definition of a God.
Praise Scott
 

OriginalRun
#UnbanRun
Run was once banned and forever he shall not be unbanned. So the laws of physics dictate.
Pleading for Run to be unbanned is a natural occurence, but it shall go unheard for eternity.
 

Azusa
Azusa is the best grill, she descended from the heavens to save the anime industry and we shall praise her for it.
She is also the most efficient weapon in dealing with TheMajor.
 

Asuna
Although the pronounciation is similar, you mustn't mistake Asuna for Azusa, it is a grave offense.
Asuna is the worst grill. Some say she is a direct relative to Satan, I wouldn't be surprised.
You may bash Asuna anytime you'd like.
 

Cloudfare
Whenever Fuwanovel stops working, it's cloudfare's fault. No exceptions.
 


Pulltop
Notoriously known for destroying OriginalRun's youtube account, Pulltop runs a Yakuza gang that scouts out youtube videos and sends them DMCAs. They are a very dangerous entity and should not be messed with. Some say it was because of the Pulltop Yakuza that Fuwanovel had to take down all their torrents.
They often attract people with cute moege. Beware, this is only a trap to lure you in and get DMCA strikes. Approach with caution.

 

Moenovel
The company responsible for the atrocity of a translation that is If My Heart Had Wings.
Everything wrong in the Visual Novel industry can be compared to Moenovel. Moenovel shall always be used when complaining about game translations, in any discussion ever.


Other Important Objects of Worship


Milky Holmes
Milky Holmes is the greatest anime of all time. This is ditacted by our lord Scott and mustn't be defied. The only thing better than Milky Holmes is more Milky Holmes
 

Bananas
Bananas are Fuwanovel's official fruit. Please eat bananas regularly to stay healthy.
 

Pancakes
There is a weapon for every villain. If you ever encounter a subject by the name of solidbatman, know your weapon of choice should always be pancakes.
Pancakes became notorious for fending off against solidbatman after he was subject to torture with pancake overload when streaming Little Busters for over 24 hours. They usually prove quite effective.
When used, pancakes often cause salt to be created
 

Salt
Most fuwans produce salt, especially when angered. You can often see salt dripping from threads and posts, it's one of Fuwanovel's more precious minerals and lots of people enjoy collecting it.
 

Lolis
Lolis are to Fuwanovel what coal is to a furnace. They keep the site running.

 

School Days HQ
The worst visual novel in history. Only the brave try to touch it with a 10 foot pole.
 

Spam
Fuwanovel's insides are mostly made of spam, it is the thing that inflates the forum in content as well as people's post count.

 

My Blender
A picture of my blender.



Fuwanovel Timeline

While hard to grasp for newcomers, Fuwanovel runs on a timeline named Soon
What happens in this timeline is, for every new feature that's annouced, a wormhole is created which causes the creation of that feature to be stuck on a sort of limbo.
Fuwanovel is perpetually threading this Soon timeline.

But it's not to say that the timeline is an infinite loop.

Sometimes, through several riots, Fuwanovel is able to temporarly leap out of the Soon timeline and create something new. But the attraction field surrounding the Soon timeline is very strong so these divergences are scarce and far in between.

Too many riots often also result in Fuwapocalypses

And this is the reason Fuwanovel is in a state of continuous monotony.




I hope with this post you became more knowledgable about Fuwanovel and the magic that goes on behind the scenes.
With this knowledge, you can now become an official Fuwan!

Praise Scott

tl;dr "Bats your competition for $200+ worth of prizes is too hard wah wah wah."
 
             
 
Zodai, I'm quite upset with you and depending on what I decide tonight, you may either be disqualified, or suffer a penalty, or nothing at all. While I did not explicitly state to not give out hints, it certainly was implied, and this is not meant to be easy. The first few weeks may have fooled you into thinking it would, but we must weed out the uninspired and only have the ones who truly want this prize standing at the end. 

Day 5
After a brief respite, we are back. Thanks for all the likes guys