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  1. That statement is pretty questionable, tbh. As time goes one, more and more people aren't really thinking marriage when they're dating, specially when it comes to young people. But even so they get upset when their partner cheats on them. I'm not forcing any issues into people's faces. If they want to know my opinion, they check my blog posts, but if they don't, they can just not read them. I don't see how that is forcing issues. It might not do much, but the little it does makes me feel happy, as I could help some people, even if it was just a tiny bit. However, think about what that decision involves. Usually, it's about finding out the one you love the most or the one you truly love. And that concept itself is pretty polyphobic. In the end, they're saying even if you seem to love two people, there is just one who you truly love. Since you mentioned YA novels, I'll use them as an example. In many of them, the girl has to decide between the hot guy, who gives her the most sexual pleasure, and the romantic guy, who gives her affection and love. Those cases only emphasize how her apparent "two loves" are not on the same plan. They're saying she loves one in a sexual way, and the other in a romantic way. The choice, in this case, is not really between two people, it's actually about two kinds of love, which one is the most important to her. Yes, I'm aware some choose the third option as you mentioned, and that's great, but unfortunately very few do. That's great, then. Guess I'll have to diversify the content I see. But this doesn't change the fact that there are still lots of grounds to go through. If things are the way you say, then Western media is more or less in the same position eroge is when it comes to poly relationships. I would like, for example, to see a poly superhero, a poly disney princess, poly-friendly cartoons, a poly family raising a child, etc. As marriage will still take some time to end, I presume those things will appear in the future. Let us wait, then.
  2. You have a point; there are probably some people like that. However, when I say disadvantageous social position, I don't only mean that they can't do things most people can. Even though those people might sometimes not feel different at all, society is still harsh with them, especially because of some verbal offenses. I'm not referring specifically to the words I listed here, as most disabled people often have to hear lots of crap from able-bodied individuals. If they don't care about that, it's probably because they have gotten used to it, which is not a good thing. It's just like some black people have gotten used to racist microaggressions. It may not change their physical or mental condition, but it will certainly make them feel a lot better about themselves. Well, that's a problem with your personality in particular. But you have three choices: 1. Keep using those words and unintentionally offending some people, who will probably suffer quietly 2. Police yourself as to stop using those words and gloat about doing that, which might offend some people either because of the gloating or because they want to be treated like everyone else, like you said 3. Stop using those words and make the effort of keeping your mouth shut about it, which won't offend anyone Guess what's the most selfless one? But people do not know whether you associate those concepts or not. The negative connotation related to mentally disabled people is already rooted on that word. It became a more and more common word, everyone started using it daily with various different connotations, but isn't that kinda sad? The fact that a word used to describe some people's condition became so common that everyone today is using it frivolously and meaninglessly, without even noticing that it carries an offensive connotation? Because, before, when it was a new word, everyone would be always aware that it referred to a disabled person, and they would at least know they were using it in an ableist way when insulting someone with it. But right now, nobody even notices that, so even people that mean no harm say it.
  3. But those jests only work because they revolve around the notion that those words are used as insults. Imagine if your name were being used as an insult. When people were angry they would say: "Are you fucking [Insert your name here]?!". And then, when they were among their peers they would say: "You're [Insert your name here], lol." I know it's definitely not the same thing, but your name is a part of your life and who you are just like disabilities are a part of our lives. Except she is a fictional character. Even if she does exist in someone's body (I've never seen anyone who claimed being her, tho), this body is probably abled, and that's why she thinks like that. Also, it's not like their emotional suffering always comes from the fact that they feel in disadvantage. It's because they feel different to other people; and when it's hard to fit in society, we usually get sad. Some people (a group probably much smaller than those who would be offended if those words continued being spoken) would only feel offended if they knew someone was purposefully avoiding that. I don't believe anyone would notice that, tbh. I'm not saying you're ableist for using those words. But even if your intentions are good, you would still be using a part of someone's identity and life in a negative connotation, which would only further emphasize their disadvantageous position in society. It's hard to give an example to someone who isn't in such a position, but look at the "name" example I gave to mitchhamilton above. Haven't played it yet, sorry.
  4. Why is it so hard to simply police yourself to avoid some words? It won't hurt anyone, as opposed to keep on using them, which will actually hurt some people. Also, I'm pretty sure the intent, as you say, behind most of those words is almost never good. Stupid, retarded, mad, crazy, etc are almost always used as a form of insult or verbal attack.
  5. You're saying those people told you they were in a better or equal social position compared to able-bodied individuals? Comparing a lady with a bad odor with using a part of oppressed people's bodies with negative connotation is not a fair comparison. The latter is an attack that is personally harmful and reinforces the disadvantageous position some people have, and the former is a just small discomfort. @bigfatround0 made a pretty good comparison. @Darklord Rooke, what I'm trying to say here is that if you don't have to sacrifice much to avoid offending some people, then do so. There isn't much sacrifice in avoiding certain words. Noone will even notice, in case you care about your surroundings' opinions on you. So, if it will make some people feel better, why not do it? It's funny how you, in one paragraph, tells me how an 'insult' is different from an 'offense', implying that the former is always bad and the latter is sometimes just nitpicking; and, in another paragraph, you insist on using a word to insult people, claiming it's an "excellent descriptive word". What exactly are you implying here? That we should stop trying to eliminate ableism from our society because it's 'normal'? Or that we should do that, as we are in a position in which we are able to do so? I'm confused. Humans usually want to be equal to their surroundings. When everyday they see that they can't do a lot of tasks most people can, I don't think they won't feel "limited", at least to some extent. That's why my advice is to avoid those words not only around disabled people, but around everyone else as well. I'm mentally disabled, you know. I'm autistic. Thus, I'm not 'speaking for someone else'. Asterisks? What are you talking about? Don't see how trying to raise awareness for disabled people is considered being "liberal".
  6. I mentioned lesbian marriages because you said this: Yeah, except that not only spouses are upset when their significant other cheats on them, gf/bf/dates get upset as well. Also, many married poly people do not get upset when their partner has another partner. The problem is not marriage itself, but the way people see romantic/sexual relationships in general. I agree with pretty much everything you said here. Even though the end of marriage would probably bring severe legal consequences, I believe, by then, we will have already solved those issues. However, I don't think we should just sit and wait for marriage to disrupt. We can't keep watching poly people being discriminated while we do absolutely nothing to stop it. That's why I think we should all do as best we can to decrease such a discrimination. Well, I don't. The movies and shows you're referring to are probably niche ones, that don't have a stronger social effect like the mainstream ones do. Plus, love triangles are not poly relationships; after all the whole concept of a love triangle is deciding between two potential love interests. Rarely they choose the third option, which is the poly-friendly one. I do not expect to disrupt a very old and powerful institution. I'm just doing what I can to raise awareness and make some people's lives better. Even though I may not succeed, there's nothing wrong with trying. You probably believe that "humans as a species are best designated as being predominantly serial monogamist" because your entire life you've seen lots of people in monogamous relationships, many who seem very happy. However, how many actual poly relationships have you seen? Very few, I assume. That's why you can't say humans are most suited for monogamy, when most of them haven't even experimented polygamy. What you believe to be something inborn to humans, I believe to be a socially constructed phenomenon.
  7. Well, you shouldn't. First, because I'm not telling you how to conduct, I'm giving an advice so that you can make some people's lives better. Second, because, unless you are disabled, you're benefiting from your privilege within a society with institutionalized ableism. In other words, your situation is a hundred times better than those that are actually suffering.
  8. Nowadays, verbal insults are the most common forms of aggression. Bullying, arguments, humiliation, all those usually come through verbal attacks. Sure, there are people who are less susceptible to it, but I don't know anyone who doesn't care or isn't emotionally affected at all by verbal attacks. If you don't, you are a very lucky person. Too bad other people aren't like you.
  9. So, as the poll doesn't seem to give me an answer any time soon, I decided to start with this one. For those who don't know, ableist means prejudice against those with disabilities. As most people in society are able-bodied, disabled people, as a minority, have to cope with toxic words and expressions that hurt them. By saying this words in a negative way, you are basically saying that disabled people are inferior. It's the same as using 'gay' as an insult. As those expressions are by no means necessary, we all can police ourselves in order to avoid them. Also, when I say 'ableist expressions', I'm not saying those who use them are ableist. Most people aren't even aware of the ableist connotations, so they aren't the ones to fault, society is. Here are some of the expressions and why they are ableist: 1. Blinded by ignorance, fear, etc. (offends blind people) 2. Crazy (offends people with mental diseases) 3. Cripple (a very offensive word for people with physical disabilities) 4. Dumb (refers to deaf people, or individuals with communication disorders) 5. Idiot (intellectual disabilities) 6. Imbecile (same as 5) 7. Lame (offends people who have mobility disabilities) 8. Stupid (same as 5) 9. Moron (same as 5) 10. Nuts (same as 5) 11. Psycho (same as 5) 12. Retarded (same as 5) 13. Special needs (an euphemism that is actually offensive. It's better to use the word "disabled") There are, of course, many other offensive expressions, unfortunately. But this list is just to give you an idea in hope to convince you be more careful with your words from now on.
  10. Well, that concept is pretty harmful for people that don't see their partners as possessions, because they can't have the legal advantages that come with marriage. That's why people need to change their view about marriage. Nowadays marriage doesn't work that way. It's no longer a system for men to keep track of their possessions. A very easy way to prove that is just looking at lesbian marriages, which are legally recognized. Today marriage is a system for families receiving the benefits of legal recognition. You rarely see people dating with more than two partners at once in media either. It's not only marriage. If a person is in love with someone else, it's gotta be just that someone else. I don't believe our society demands monogamy for it to work nowadays. Back then, sure, but not now. And one of the ways to create a better environment for polygamy to work is giving it more media coverage, so that society can view it as normal. As I said, there is still a long way to go when it comes to poly representation in eroge. However, the mere fact that poly relationships are being featured is already a progress, because the same almost never happens in other media. I'm not a man, but sure. You probably aren't fine because since you were born society planted that worldview on you.
  11. My last post about privilege was removed due to being labeled as offensive by the mods. However, this time, as I'll be addressing a specific kind of privilege, I believe there won't be any problems of that sort. I'm still waiting for more people to vote at the poll, as it's currently at a draw. If you haven't yet, please do. All our lives, we're flooded with this notion that love can only exist towards one person at a time. And that is not true. The jail that are closed relationships usually lead to sorrow and regret. Just because people aren't allowed to have a bigger heart. While very few people nowadays are openly polyamorous, I believe there are much more closeted ones hiding out there. Seriously, just think about it. How many people would be much happier today if "monogamy" weren't considered the norm? As pointed out by @Chronopolis, some assumptions are preferred or necessary. I, however, don't believe this is the case when it comes to someone's relationship orientation. A relationship orientation doesn't involve pronouns or sex preferences. It's something that may or may not come up in a conversation. That's why we can all easily avoid making assumptions about it. But still, the vast majority of society is still very conservative on that sense, thus, monogamous people are privileged in the sense that the whole notion society has of love and sex is a part of their life. The following is a list of examples of monogamy privilege you've probably never realized they were: (Note that I'm not saying monogamous people do not exist or that they are all polyphobic. Yes, there are lots of people who genuinely prefer only one partner, but there are also lots who don't) 1. Your family is legally recognized and you can enjoy all the benefits that come with it. 2. The validity of my love is never questioned. 3. Full representation of my relationship orientation in media. 4. In daily conversations, people don't use monophobic concepts of certain words (like family is always two partners and kids) 5. I can walk with my partner without having people staring at us with weird looks 6. I am not identified by my relationship orientation. Now, the second thing about this issue: eroge. Honestly, among all the media, eroge deserves praise for this. And that's kind of sad, considering eroge doesn't portray those relationships realistically and it's usually confined to a single model: one man and women. But as this post is focusing on the positive aspects, I'll leave the negative ones for a later occasion. Western media almost never features polyamorous relationships (except porn). When it comes anime, manga and LNs, even the harem ones who could really use a nice harem ending, mostly choose not to. But hey, at least the harem genre itself is some kind of progress, isn't it? VNs, on the other hand, present much more cases of polyamory. Usually, it comes in two ways: harem endings and shimaidon routes. I think this is great because, even if just by a little, it shows people that polyamory isn't this monster society says it is, and that people can love more than one person at the same time. See you next time!
  12. Great thing that people are debating on this topic, but if I let you guys keep discussing the way things are, the moderators will probably remove my post. Post locked.
  13. You can't prove that. You can say your opinion, which is that disliking fat people's appearences is something natural to humans, but you don't have data or proof to back you up. It's not because parents teaxh children to insult fat kids that they do so, it's because everywhere they see fat people being portrayed as ugly, weird and stupid. I never said they were the same. But they don't need to be for my comparisons to work. Both are oppressed social groups, so all I said about them fits. So society forced you to lose weight and that's fine? What if you can't do it in the end? Fat shaming is not necessary, it's wrong.
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