Nintaidou

@Totodile I wonder why out of all German words that's what you pick >.> I'm a rebel, y'know, ya have no idea

@Totodile That is a Dwarven German Spitz, not a Chihuahua. You missed

Quite the bold waltzing in, oi. Have a good stay

I reckon you're asking in a wrong place and for quite a lot.

That's asking for a lot, but from recent months it'd be definitely Shibata Gonroku Mitsuki Katsuie. She's an immensely powerful woman, yet doesn't boast about it around or misuse it. Her mind is clear on what she wants and what to do, she's very intelligent and doesn't look down upon others easily. Plays with children around, tries to teach others, is very relied on by her subordinates, however, for all the kind parts of her, when she has to fight, there are few things to say... You'd better run... And it still won't help you.

I found the Eiyuutan to be a rather positive move from BaseSon and I loved all three. Although I have to agree Gi and Go have much better plot line to them and the scenes with characters, Shoku's scenario with horse family was fun in its own way. That kansai dialect arguement midway is something I return to at times to have a laugh Very few novels feature a story line where you get to spend time with heroines like it does in Go, the whole mother aspect and how it changed heroines around was charming. My biggest salt on it all was that it was damn short. In that regard, I can't wait for the Plus release, and if Kakumei has anything like the Gi or Go of these three releases, then they can count me in, I'd preorder it from anywhere.

Camouflage successful?

Nintaidou is a personal construct of two japanese words, the meaning is "Way (dou) of Perseverance (nintai)". The nickname's a statement and a reminder =)

Aiyo, have a good stay

Added VNDB to my account with the list of novels I remember reading, and aparently it's 183 novels. I gave myself too little credit in the original introduction post

I could break it down the way I did in writing community (Go through the whole structure, sentence composition, writing style, impression and grammar), but I reckon it'd be better if I kept it short for now. Your draft feels either rushed or too rough, you threw out the general outline of what you wanted to write down from your head and moved on, ultimately leaving out any fleshing out of details or attention to the flow of your story. The dialogues are simple and lacking description on how characters carry it out, from my impression it was like reading a rough dialogue from B-C class anime, especially the way you presented the fundamentals of exchanges themselves. In writing world, they call this "abundance of Tell", meaning you push your story forward by stating the bare minimum (skeleton). What this could definitely use is an intelligent infusion of "Show", meaning you show the reader more closely the details on how exactly something happened. Now, keep in mind the reader takes about 3 to 5 minutes to judge the worth of the story and whether to really continue or not. The way you start your story is like simply and plainly being told generic settings of a story by somebody during a banter, nobody much would really pay it much mind, not to mention the feelings of "plain" would barely draw in many. What you're lacking there is what's called a "hook", so called reason for the reader to be actually interested in your story and bother with it. There are many ways of using a "hook", it can even be a "reverse hook", and it's not exactly a 100% necessity, but I do reckon the way your story's carried out in the first chapter thus far is unimpressive and won't go far. You get to the interesting part late and don't flesh it out. I could perhaps elaborate more on what I meant and perhaps give some examples, but I'd leave that up to you whether you want to listen to my criticism or not and how you'd like to improve. I'm stern in criticism and I might be wrong, but I'm honest when it comes to my standpoint. Your works feels like "japanised" novel, namely by anime and some perks of japanese light novels, and I reckon that's not now a novel is carried out. You have just plain text there, your whole writing and how others accept it rides on that text, and you should keep that in mind, try and see your writing from the reader's view. I hope I've helped you a bit. Good luck and have fun in writing, Nintaidou~

Thanks folks @Flutterz Been at it something little over a year? My the best understanding of Japanese is mainly auditory, I don't even need to really read what I hear, I usually crack my head over the written language during protagonist's lines . So far been using MeCab and JParser to break down kanji to kana or romaji and deal with it that way. I reckon I'll focus on learning Kanji properly once I'm done with University though . @xToki Cookies happen @Forgetful Frank I find your statement quite amusing when pared with your nickname , glad to have you around.

@DarkZedge You came and left in such a short period every time though See ya some other time though, thanks. @dfbreezy I reckon forums have private messages on the top right corner, try doing it that way =) Thanks. (I'll stay neutral on that question )

Thanks =) Never figured the point in creating VNDB account, but I might get around to it I suppose.