Zucco

Looks fun. I'm in.

About the length of the series, it's fine by me! You should already know that it's gonna take a long time to complete tough, and since a lot can happen in that time, I cannot promise i'll stay until the end. Having said that, I'm having fun right know, so I'll stick around for a while! Thanks!

Okami's description is similar to what I imagined too... And that second digging machine actually looks pretty fun to draw! (I agree that the other two would be hard tough.... But we could always reduce the amount of details.) About Akeno's design, #4 is the one I liked the most,but I was thinking of making one more attempt using a hairstyle similar to this before making the final decision. Edit: By the way, I wanted to ask this for a while, but... Volume 4? How long is a volume? And how long are you planning this series to be, Okami? Sorry, in the end I got hooked to another manga the last few days and did not spend much time drawing. Well, here is the updated picture of the children:

haha, I'm glad we wont have two members away from the project becouse of computer problems. Indead it would be helpful if the people writing the story described some details about where it takes place... About the digging site, since its in the middle of neutral territory I had imagined it as being in a small town (or close to a small town) surrounded by desert. By the way, it might be a little different from what I had in mind for this manga, but when it comes to futuristic backgrounds you should take a look at Tsutomu Nihei's drawings!

Well... the first scenes are set in 2141, in a digging site in neutral territory. I think a full page drawing of the bus reaching the building site (in wich you could get a good view of the site, of course) would be nice. Wheter it's drawn as an overview, or as the view of a person of normal height walking toward the site is up to you. Also, if you want to do the concepts for the places that appear in the first chapter (the digging site, it's residences and caves in neutral territory, and the town of Yorkwing and the village of Vileor, both close to Midoristal's border) or any other places that appear in the story, it would be helpful! On how to draw it... It would be nice if a different architectural style as used for each of the three factions. I was thinking of giving a oriental feel to Raepista, but have not discussed it in detail. When asked about the Sci-fi elements, Okami answered that: "For Sci/Fi elements I would say that moustly weapons, military equipment and military facilities would have that Sci/fi element to them (but not as far as giant robots and laser guns). And you could feel that there is that Sci/fi element to cities, houses and places (but once again I wouldn't go too far with it, more like different than now but not too far into the future). Also if possible I would add royalty into a society." I agree with him, but personally i think it could be interesting to go a bit over the top in the richest parts of the cities (especially the capitals) and in the noble residences. This is probably not very important at this point, but he also said "I thought about adding a neutral town too, just true, I thought of making it into poor town where people who were banished from their factions live and making it into some kind of cyberpunk style (true that part is still in progres).!" I will post what we have on the first chapter bellow: Okami's Chapter 1 (Mission Beguins) Arturia's Rerwite on Chapter 1, with dialogues (unfinished) My first atempt at drawing the fist pages, with the history explanation (also unfinished) Arturia's Rewrite on the history part (I only noticed he said he was going to do it after I has already done my version...) Also, Okami put a really long post on page 4 with pretty much everithing we has at that point. If you are interested, all the drawings (mostly character dsigns) I did for this project on my Deviant Art account (some of them are in the "Scraps" part of the gallery) http://zucco1.deviantart.com/ Well... this is it... Also, if you have any ideas for either the art or story, or even if you do a drawing unrelated to this topic, but that you think that looks good, feel free to post it!

It certainly would! Expecially with the backgrounds and final art, if anyone is up to it. Sorry, it's just that since most people haven't posted anything in this topic for a while a sot of assumed most of them got busy with other things or just forgot about the whole deal... It would not bother them if a PMed the ones who showed an interest in doing the art, would it? Would it be a good idea to do a resume of everything we've got so far after we have the names for the first chapter, and them sending a PM to Emi, Krill and MellowMadman11? By the way, what about you, jeftai? You still up to working on the backgrounds? And could post something you've drawn?

Thanks! And feel free to post your own drawings of the SCs too, (that goes for Okami as well!) and if you don't mind I can try do redraw them in my style later. About Noel's brother, Okami wrote earlier: "And as for their days before that I left them out with an excuse that they don't remember much before that day as they were only 5-6 but I also planned to add one of their days before that very important as it would turn out that one of them (Probably Noel) has a onii-chan that she forgot about but to give him big rule latter on as it would turn that after everything happened he got himself mixed with cannibals and eventually become their leader witch is big problem as he would be very god strategiest." Well... thinking about it now, it's not unlikely he is the masked cannibal... If that is true, Okami already said that making him into one of the two children wouldn't fit in... I hope he get his computer fixed soon, or at least he can still take a look at this topic once in a while!

Arturia, thanks! I too have the habit of holding my other arm from behind... Either that, putting my hands in my pockets or playing with whatever object is withim my hands reach ^^; As for characters design... Please, give your thoughts too! You are as much a part of this as me or Okami. It's true that Okami has the broader feel for the story, but that does not mean the characters must look exactly like he thought, as long as they fit their characterisation. Actually, being the one who originally created the characters, he is almost certanly biased towards the ones that look the most like his original image. The same way, being the one who drew them, I'm bound to be incapable of looking at them objectevely. (expecially right after I finished a drawing. Taking a second look at it later helps, but does not solve the problem.) So, having your opinions helps a lot! (Moreover, with only two people making choices it's preatty easy to get a tie betwen two options) With the chapter rewrite, don't worry, there is no need to rush it. As I said before, I've been pretty busy last week so I didn't have time to draw it anyway. Also, I'm planning to do at least one full body drawing for each character that appears in the chapter before doing the names. By the way, does Noel's older brother appear in this chapter? He could be one of the two random children, and they could assume he died in the bombing. Well... If we do that, it would certanly have a huge effect on Noel... It could even be related to how hard it is for her to part with others. What do you guys think? Okami, it a shame your computer broke. I hope you manage to get it fixed soon! it's funny that you liked Akeno #1 better... That might actually the drawing i like the least out of all the ones i posted here... And, other than the ponytail, I'm pretty satisfied with how #2 turned out. Well, I will try to do something we are both okay with! I'm posting all versions I've done of Akeno thus far: Tell me if you guys like any of them! About the drawing of the children... I used some drawings from Studio Ghibli as reference and tried to make their faces round to make them look young. Did it make Orion look fat instead?... Anyway, is it better now? Also... I don't know what should I do about the world map... I did the main continent big so I could draw it better and so it would cover both really hot and cold climates, but from the story's point of view it's size makes no sense... Maybe It would be better if I placed it over Africa, or even drew something closer to Africa in shape? Also... should i make Rouria, and Raepista neightbours or not? as I said before, i think it works better with the story, but if there is some reason to put them in the opposites ends of the continent could you share it, Okami? Oh, about the SCs Okami described, I do plan to post at least one drawing for each before doing the names for their first appearences, but it's not my priority right now. I might do some of them earlier if I feel like it tought. (In particular, I wanna try drawing that masked guy) Arturia, the way you wrote the history part kinda ressembles a narrator. I actually started reading it in Morgan Freeman's voice at some point. ^^; Still, to be honest, i liked your dialogues better... Still, there are parts of it I would like to use, in particular the descripition on how the geography was changed. I will post an edited version of the first pages later. By the way... Why are the factions descibed as "rebelious"?

My cashier work ended this monday, so now I'm back! Ended up not drawing much this weekend since I got hooked to Oyasumi Punpun, but now I'm catching up. Akeno Children Pages 1-3 I did two versions for the first two pages. Sorry, Arturia, I only just saw that you where going to write the history part yourself... Well, I'm not fully satisfied with the ones down here either way, (at least, I want to add a paragraph about the neutral territories and dig sites) so please post your ideas to! Also, about the world map, I only noticed it after drawing it but... Isn't it a bit weird that Rouria and Raepista are fiercily fighting for territory when there is a few hundred kylometers of desert betwen the two factions while Midoristal, wich is between the two factions, pratically doesn't get involved? Or is there some deeper reason to make the world map like this? Either way, I used a different map in each version, so please tell me wich one you guys think that works best with the story. (Or even sugest a third version with the desired changes!) Edit: for the sake of simplicity I omitted some information in the world map, but we can add them later in maps of smaller scales. Any critics or suggestions are welcome! Version 1 Version 2 Oh, and don't worry, I got a bit carried away this time, but once I have Arturia's rewrite of the first part I will try to do a proper name for the rest of the chapter before drawing the finished version. By the way, this is pretty random, but don't you find it hard to write in english without using the world "I"?

Good job, you two, It's getting pretty interesting! I agree with Okami that the first page should give a brief descrition of the world history. By the way, what do you think about making a new calendar starting on the year when World War III ended, and writing the dates as 10 Before Peace or 74 After Peace instead of 2067 or 2041, without letting the readers now exactly how far in the future the story takes place? Also, I'm not sure about using japanese honorifcs... Oh, I don't mean I'm against it, but how about trying to use forms normally used in english? like using titles (sir, sire, milady, your higness...) surnames, first names or nicknames depending on the relationship betwen characters? In particular, I think Minami calling Mahiro by a friendly nickname would work well with story. And I must agree that Hiori seens out of chacter... Other than that, I like the way you write! And I don't think you overdid it... Familiaring the readers with characters in the begging of the story is a good thing! Also, I really like stories that beguin with a warm atmosphere, and then let things scalete to something darker. By the way, what do you think about making some make-belive setting or role-play for the test of courage? Like... they are adventurers exploring a dungeon, looking for a dragon, or maybe even rounins infiltrating enemy territory... And if those two random characters are given a bigger role later in the story, maybe some element of this make-believe could return as well. The masked man could were an acessory, (maybe even his mask) call himself by some name or use some symbol that would sugest a conection with the kids (Albeit he himself might not be one of them). On the other hand... I feel it would be more realistic and add more tension to the story if they simply died in the bombing, so i'm not sure if this is a good idea or not... What do you think, Okami? Either way, I thiink they should have at least as much screentime as the main characters in the first scenes, and they should also be quite proactive if they are going out by themselves. (Maybe they are the oldest mebers of the group, and feel responsible for the rest of the group? not much older, just a year or two... Also, how about making them brothers?) And Okami, I would not describe someone who suddenly shoots his allies or send them to the front lines in order to get them killed as "merciful"... Ps: I'm not going to have much free time in the next 3 days, so I will probably begin the names only after that.

Thanks! And feel free to give suggestions to paneling in the rewrite! Edit: I just finished reading your topic "Into the Night". It's really interesting... Dammit, now I want to see it going forward too! Shame we all have too spend so much time in the real world...

Thanks! Well... I kinda wanted to do the panels too... What if you first posted the rewrite first, and then we both try doing our versions of panel and decide together how will the final version be? Or if you want we can divide who does the panels for each scene...

First of all, sorry for taking so long to answer the posts. Thanks for the map, Okami! (Wow, the geography really changed a lot after the war... is this really the Earth?) Also, I really like cyberpunk! But it looks complicated to draw... Well, I guess I will try to learn how to do it. Could you give a brief description of the climate of the places where the story takes place? I want to use it as a reference when drawing the backgrounds and clothes. Oh, by the way, what are R1, R2, etc? Something like administrative estates? And Arturia, the drawing is good, but I'm glad you agreed to write the dialogues. Could you post it when you've written the cavern scene? I want to try drawing it! No need to rush it, thought... And about the writing style, I think you should just write in the way you like best! Now, the drawings: Minami Noel Hiori

Haha, I know what you mean. Incompetent protagonists who just keep depending on others or going with the flow of events, without ever taking initiative - or worst, taking initiative and then just dragging his allies down - tend to be really annoying. Having said that, average guys don't bother me as long as they have interesting personalities - Okazaki Tomoya, Kyon and Takasu Ryuuji, for instance, are not particularly talented in any field, (with the exception of Ryuuji housewife skills, but never mind that) but I found then all likable characters. Edit: Looking back, I might have had something like chuunibyou when I was a kid. I didn't like stories that did not have some fantastical element, and lived in my own fantasy world. I would start making cool poses, or fighting invisible enemies when I was alone, albeit I was too timid to do it in public. No... I vaguely remember doing something of the sort when bullied. And I think I made some teacher really worried because i was "certain I saw a witch flying in a broom". Well... I guess all kids are a bit like that, right? Nothing to be embarrassed about, right?

Arturia, its good that you will have more time now. I look forward too seeing what you can do! Bu the way, I know most of those drawings are 2 years old, but at least from what I've seem in "Forming a VN Team" you can do pretty well. Especially in the full body ones, despite what you said. Just try to pay a bit more attention to proportion when drawing the faces (you tend to draw the lips to low and the eyes to small... nothing that can't get better by following some tutorials. If you want, I can try to find some I used before. Also, coping drawings from artists you like is REALLY helpful!) And don't worry to much about whether our drawings look the same or not. This is not a commercial manga. Like you said before, this is a manga made by us, for us. I want us to have fun while making it. And the more people taking part in the process, the merrier. And the more fun we have, the more fun the people who read it will have!... Probably. PS: This is all assuming you want to help with drawing the characters! If you would rather concentrate on something else, just say it!

Didn't know this genre even existed... Well, from Clephas descripition it seems to be right up my alley. Also, nice list of translated VN! I really like most of then. PS: I just took a look at Clephas' VNDB list... Damn, I used to think I spent too much time on it...

Welcome to the forums! But I think Yukiru is right about the rage... PS: The first seasons of Darker than Black where great! Ryuusei no Gemini... Not so much... http://gallery.minitokyo.net/view/526511 http://konachan.com/post/show?md5=d90dd177ab9f3adf52879cf556849aaa

There are some really good mangakas here. Now I want to find out more about Yu... Well, here are some mangaka/illustrators I like: Naoki Urasawa Takehiko Inoue

Wow, you actually answered every question... Thanks! Oh, just one more thing... Where their personalities more or less the same when they where kids,(Minami being upbeat, Mahiro kinda cold, Kouga a quite kid, etc.) or did some of them go trough a really major change?

Kingdom of Euria Flag Territory National Anthem WWIII Foundation Architecture

Cool indeed... looks like we have quite a diverse crew here! If MellowMadman11 join us, we will only be missing someone from Asia, Oceania and Antartica! : ) I also don't much about Serbia... Have to look it up. As with the Background, that exactly what I mean, Arturia! And thanks for going along with it, Okami, tough I'm starting to feel a little bit like i've kinda been forcing my way of thinking on you... ps: About Orion's Design... The one above, with spiky hair, is #5 and the one bellow, with shorter hair, is #8. I like how both of them turned out, but I think #8 fits the setting better... pps: About how the work on art should be divided, I was thinking of doing the rough sketch of a few pages and sharing them with everyone so we can discuss it before moving on to the next fase. Then, I could draw the characters on some of the pages, while Arturia draws character of other pages. I was thinking of just drawing above photos for some backgrounds, or even using the photos themselves when appropriate. (Always from free image sources, like http://free-images.gatag.net/en.) Here is an example: (A scene from Bakemonogatari I starded drawing a few days ago but got too lazy to finish) On the other hand, assuming that we are amateurs and making something simpler like Chikan Otoko with only minimal work on the backgrounds could get things moving a lot faster, and the plot and characters are the most important part of a manga anyway. Either way... It might be better to just try doing it in both ways (maybe changing it depending on the importance of the scene) and see which works better!

About the character backgrounds... What I meant is that you yourself should have a really strong grip on the characters before writing the story even if you don't write down every detail about then. (Albeit I would appreciate if you did write as much about then as you can before it got to the drawing stage, since it would be really helpful when drawing their expressions, postures, mannerisms, etc. What you don't write down, I will try to make up as I draw and hope it turns out consistent with the following chapters ) Having deeper backgrounds would help making more interesting characters that act in more unique ways. And knowing their objectives also add consistency to their actions. Well, you can write things in whatever order you prefer, and you don't really have to tell us the answer to every question I asked right now. About the treatment of Apachi Warriors, but I was not sure if it was just the way the general population saw then or if they where respected by the authorities as well. Especially after you sent Kouga and Noel to fight a force 10 times their number. (It could be taken either as a sign of great trust or as an suicidal order) Also... They basically being foreign mercenaries and all, isn't there any resistance to then from any sector, and are they as loyal to their factions as the soldiers who spent their entire lives in then? As for the days of the past... As for the map... Thanks, I would appreciate that! No need for anything fancy, i will try to make it look good later About the different architecture and clothing for each faction, ​About the characters design, Oh, and I didn't forgot Ririn, I just meant that, if even it's not used in the final version, at least there is a design for her. Ps: I'm curious... Where are you from?

And by the way, before getting to much into the plot, wouldn't it be better to think about the characters background a bit more? Like... What kind of life did they lead before entering that cave? Where they nobles, middle-class or poor? Did they have enough freedom to just walk around and enter a cave whenever they wished, or did they have to sneak out? How was the military academy? Did any noticeable events happen there that changed their personalities or the way they thought? Did they try to find out what happened to their families after joining the academy, or to contact each other in some way after leaving it? And what kind of life have they led after leaving the academy? From what you said it seems that Orion's group had a relatively easy life, but what about the others? Do they have field experience? Had they ever witnessed someone die, or killed someone themselves? And how are they seem by their companions, the nobles and the people in general? Are they looked up at, or treated as tools? Are they satisfied with their current positions, or the ways of society? Do they try to rise in the ranks or to obtain more power? (I feel that at least Mahiro would do it) And the most important question: do they have some greater objective? Or do they just obey orders and try to stay alive? What are their priorities? Would they put themselves, their orders, their friends or their beliefs above the rest if they had to choose? I know I'm asking too many questions and I might be a little obnoxious, (please tell me I'm not) but I feel that thinking more deeply about the characters backgrounds would help get a better grip on them. I heard so many times in acting classes (and read it in Stanislavski's "An Actor Prepares" and "Building a Character") about how important it is to detail characters and make then unique, and especially about how important objectives are that it got hammered down pretty deep in my head. ^^; PS: Could you do a world map with the 3 countries territories? PPS: I think it would be more interesting if each country had their own architecture, clothing and political system. Like one country being a monarchy or triarchy and having the royalty as the ruling class, one of them a "democracy" in witch a small group of people make all the important decisions (or the media is controlled by a small number of people, and the rest just go with whatever they say its right) and one a matriarchy ruled by a "descendant of the sun goddess" or something. Or one of the countries could be ruled by a supercomputer... Whose decisions would actually benefit it's programmers or the people who hired them. By the way, in what year is the story set again? PPPS: Damn, this is a long post...

Great work, Okami! The way you manage to make interesting stories despite the akward english kind of reminds me of a certain character from 1Q84... Well, like Arturia said, we gonna need someone to edit the text, and maybe write whole conversations. (By the way, it's written "few", not "faw". FAW stands for Football Association of Wales) And Arturia's sugestion about the test of courage is also quite good. This could be explained in a dialoge betwen the characters inside the cave, (or maybe begining at the cave entrace?) and while some characters would be really scared, (expecially Noel) the overall felling would be one of "kids playing around". Until it gets serious. This dialogue would also be a good opportunity to introduce the characters. Now, about the character designs... While none of then are definitive (expecially Akeno) I managed to make at least one drawing for each of the main characters faces. Oh, and Arturia, I actually spent some time thinking about witch style to use. I was in doubt if I should try to make then realistically or try to learn how to draw in a style similar yo Guren Laggan. I did try to make then realistically at first, but then I decided to just do then in a way that came more naturally rather then trying to develop a new style now... I'm still not sure if their eyes looking so different is a good or a bad thing, though. ^^; Minami Noel Hiori Akeno Orion