Rate this Story- (3rd Rewriting)

[Sparkker]

I was bored and overall, the only thing I felt doing was rewriting a LN, fanfic or whatever you want to call it, I did months ago which is very short and very random. Any typos are to be expected. Title won't be said...

 

Self-made Synopsis:

Life was 2nd and Death was 3rd but who or what was the 1st one. It seems that it is me or is it me Life? "I don't know ask yourself." Life responded. "Playing dumb as always eh." Death sneered. "Oh! it seems to be me," I reacted "but what was this all about again." Life facepalms and says, "Why does our fate lie in the hand of this troll and trippy guy?"

 

Prologue + Chapter 1:

 

Prologue: The Man That Started It All

“There is a man in an abandoned warehouse. It seems he that he is waiting for someone or something. He was there telling stories about himself. The story had a flaw. It was a never-ending story. It went about again, again and again.

 

I am the same man who was telling the story in the warehouse and I am here to tell you my story from the middle to the end and back to the start if I feel like it. I’ll begin then, ‘There was a man in an abandoned warehouse. He changed the plot of his story like he has always has. His story was his life and everything around him is affected by this change. He can cause destruction of everything with a single hello or goodbye. He was here because he was waiting or was he? He doesn’t know and so he began to tell his story but this time, however, it’s different. Although it will be the same story, it will start from somewhere else. It was a looping story yet it seems to break itself free from the loop. Its plot can’t be understood. It’s like a mish-mosh of every genre you can think of. Anyway, he will begin the story now …’ “ 
 
 

Chapter 1: Idol's Concert
 

The Piece System is a system, which most known and unknown races abide to, that is technically the same with an RPG’s due to a person being able to “Lvl up” while hunting monsters, finishing quests and any other means of leveling like in an RPG.

The Piece System has a particular technically for party making. It splits parties into 3 classifications: The Permanent party, Temporary party and Mercenary Party. These 3 main parties divide the hierarchy of clans and guilds of the current age.

Another particular feature of this system is that constantly evolves like a human and thus makes it hard for anything to be concretely explained.

 

Melshikor, a city that was known for its prosperity and richness a city in Earth equaling Serzili of Hell and Omishi of Heaven, will be our location for this part of the story.

Multiple races are allowed to live in this prosperous city. Although other cities, has the same rule. This was the best place for any race to live. There is no racism here due to the fact only few lived here.

Everything has changed due to the invention of the Piece System. Everything now relies on the Piece System. Great structures and huge land expansions became possible because of the said system.

In this great city, the creator of the Piece System, the super pop idol Kushi, and many more celebrities and famous figures live here which makes this city extremely costly for those wanting to live with such great people.

 

In such a city, there was one peculiar man. He wearing a black suit, a tie and black pants like any simple butler will do. He has a handsome face yet has an unapproachable aura. Like a butler troubled by his master, he walked through this prosperous city of Melshikor as if he was looking for something.

 

From behind him, a faint shadow slowly follows him. Although the man noticed that person’s presence, he decided to ignore it.

 

In this Era, there are two main languages, English and Japanese. Many people might wonder why Japanese is in there. The answer is simple. It was simple because many loved anime and things related to it.

During these times, English and Japanese are being said consecutively. These times if you said, “Hello”, your friend can reply back at you with, “Konnichi wa(Hello) or maybe, “Hi”. 

Today is an eventful day where the lowly-populated Melshikor will be filled with people. In the middle of the city, Kushi was holding a concert and that was this man’s destination. He wasn’t troubled by the fact that he was going to get late as he is extreme early and time is flexible. He was troubled if he could go there without getting sidetracked. He has a bad habit of doing unrelated stuff and it might cost him to forget his goal.

Walking through the city is simple any day of the week, even though the city will be flooded by people on this special day. This city’s paved streets were so wide that this amount of people can still be accommodated without any trouble.

 

Although those very streets are wide, he considered that going with the crowd is an inconvenience. Therefore, he decided to run up to a building’s rooftop and move on from there. Noticing his intentions, the figure behind him ran up to a building as well.

“Tsk, he almost got away from me.” The figure showed a displeasured look, dusted her self off, and began following him again.

 

The man leaped from building to building until he began hearing the cheers of the crowd and the bright lights of the stadium. He jumped on one of the more barren places of the stadium and waited for the concert to start.

 

In this era, everything is automatically fined when you enter the said location if you have an intention of going there. This is to prevent any unexpected interruptions and prevents crime due to everyone being counted as they go in.

 

The idol, Kushi was already done preparing herself behind the stage. Peering outside from time to time, she waits anxiously for someone.

He’s late. She thought. She was worried whether he will come to this concert or not.

 

Kushi frantically looked from left to right, trying to find for one certain man. Right there, he saw the glimpse of the man in the upper part of the stadium. With great enthusiasm, she started the concert without warning.

“Minna-san(Everyone), are you ready?” shouted Kushi, as she jumped onto the stage.

She was wearing her “Pink Magical Girl” like costume. Pink blouse, pink skirt and most accessories were pink. She had great black hair and eyes that shone like amethyst.
 

“OOOOOOOO!” The crowd roared as they heard Kushi’s voice. Although some are baffled since the concert started earlier than planned, it was a trivial matter since it’s her concert anyway.

Known to many, her costume also serves as her battle costume. Her class is “Musical Idol” which was a combination of the classes, “Magical Archer” and “Entertainer”. Her magic has been named as “Musical Melody” which inflicts great status effects to any enemies hit.

Her mike is her main weapon, like all other music-related classes. It serves as means of defense and offense.

 

“3-2-1! La-la-la….”

Kushi’s concert began. It started of with a gentle hum and slowly, escalated harmonious tunes accompanied with great dancing. Her singing and dancing was simply overwhelming to everyone in the stadium. Every space of the stage was utilized by Kushi’s movements. She was like a fairy dancing in the sky.
 

Somewhere behind the stage, there was a girl waiting for her chance. No one knew that she was coming back except for the man that they were waiting for.

 

Somewhere behind the stage, there was a girl. She was a petite little girl. She had the same feelings as Kushi at the beginning of the concert. She would have not started it without him as well.

 

This little girl was waiting for her moment to join in. Her time of return was near. She was gone for a month and now it’s her comeback.

After Kushi’s long singing, the chance had arrived. Kushi looked at her way and signaled her that it was time for her comeback to the spotlight.

“Minna, Shiri IS BACK!”

Shiri was Kushi’s duo in the Idol Industry, if you hadn’t known any better you would have simply thought that she was Kushi’s little twin sister. Her fragile looking body makes you want to hug her right now. She may look like that on the outside but looks can really be deceiving since Shiri is really a very energetic and powerful girl.

Shiri energetically jumped on the stage and introduced herself to the millions of fans.

“For those who forgot or don’t know me, let me introduce myself again. Atashi wa Shiri-chan deeeeeesu. Yorushiku.” (I am Shiri, Nice to meet you!)

 

“Shiri… you mean her…”

 

Many of the fans don’t know Shiri or haven’t seen her perform live. Shiri was hospitalized for a broken left leg and a broken right arm after her last battle with a Great Colossal Chick, Lvl 100M. Although to be honest, it was after the battle she broke those parts not during. She trip and fell onto the chick’s hard bone.

 

It could have simply been healed with magic but Shiri insisted on letting it heal naturally. Many fans could have simply persuaded her to get healed but most of them just wrote get-well letters since Shiri is also known for her prowess in magic.

 

Kushi’s fan base had an incredible spike in that month when Shiri was gone, which was why many people didn’t know her. The Alliance of Three which consists of the races, Shenir, Water elementals, Porshi, Earth elementals, and Kishao, Fire elementals, and many more other races were either discovered, appeared or came out of hiding during that very month.

 

Unknown to many human, devil and angel fans, everyone from the Alliance of Three knew Shiri, attitude-wise, as most diplomatic meetings with their leaders were done with Kushi, also Earth’s Leader, and Shiri.

A controversial fact in the Alliance is how all of their leaders are girls.
In Kishao, their leader is said to be a loli named Desharu, while in Porshi, their leader is the somewhat immaculate, Tsugai and as for Shenir, their leader’s name remains to be unknown but it is a confirmed fact that she is a girl.
 

Well, you would wonder why it’s controversial when their leaders are girls as well.

 

After Shiri’s grand entrance., Kushi and Shiri continued the song as a duet. The music became something out of this world. Their combinations was so amazing that it would leave your mouth hanging open.

There he was in the midst of the crowd observing, interested yet uninterested, to simply put it, he was too familiar with it or was he? Even he doesn’t know the answer to that, though he knows, he doesn’t. The music doesn’t feel dull but it lacks something. Was it a certain emotion? A certain shine? Or was it simply his imagination? He doesn’t know yet he knows. He was truly an unreadable person.
 

“Kushi! Shiri! Kushi! Shiri!”

 

Everyone cheered loudly as the concert ended. 50 million people chanted their names as they said goodbye to the crowd and went to the backstage.

 

The number 50 million is only the number of attendees in this concert, although this stadium can hold up 10x more than that. How was that so?

 

Magic changed the views of everyone. Science combined with magic produced greater result than what mankind has ever though of. In those ages, inter-galactic travels through spaceships were something not recommended for anyone since it took time and resources.

 

Nowadays, <Teleport> is the most basic magic that everyone knows about. Although basic, it is the one of the hardest magic to refine. In any case, people refer to magic in many terms. Either way people really don’t care if you call your magic spell a skill, as it matters more whether how strong it is.

 

Many people thought of abusing <Teleport> by just going from place to place. However, abuse of this skill is lessened due to a complicated law and magic named <T-Ban> and the auto detection system of the Piece System. With <T-Ban>, it doesn’t add any restrictions to teleporting however it greatly reduces the areas which you can teleport to unless you have <Blink> or <Flash> with you.

 

After the concert ended, people started scattering around the city. Some were going home whiled others were shopping for food and leaving the rest of the population do their own stuff.

 

He went along with the crowd and looked for some food. The figure went along in the crowd as well while following him. After eating, he continued wasting more time until he saw that there were barely any people left.

 

If the story was not worth your while, here's my condolences:

 

Spoiler Fate: Click the spoilers until you end with something. Read as you go. {Poor Plot}

You were born during the times of war. You are now 16 years old. Your family is poor and your country is losing the war. You grew up in this harsh environment with nothing more but your wits and strength.

Choice A: You say to yourself, "This is nothing more but a hurdle in life

You positively walk down the road saying to yourself that your fate will surely change.

You bump the man in front of you. He looks pissed.

You try to say sorry but he takes out his knife and stabs you. "You shouldn't have messed with me kid!", he says and your consciousness fade. {Death End}

Choice B: You say to yourself, "I wish I could have changed my fate."

It was there that you saw a man with a long coat. He was observing your neighborhood very sneakily. You saw a glimpse of his badge,  it was a General's badge. Choice A: You take out your gun and shoot him

You killed the general of command. {Great End}

Choice B: Ignore.

You made a great opportunity pass by. Your country lost the war and led you to more poverty {Bad End}

Choice C: Surrender

You were imprisoned till you die. {Obvious Ending}

Choice D: I must die with him, "This is Sparta!"

???? {Cliffhanger Ending}

You attract the attention of multitudes of soldiers. All of them surround but with your spartan will you killed them all and changed the tide of the war. {Troll End}

Choice D: You walk on through the road hoping for a better future.

You walk through the road exposed but ready. There you encounter a suspicious man looking at houses left and right as if he was a spy.

You cautiously walk to the man... 'Bang' You were shot. With all your remaining strength, you try to look for the perpetrator but it was to no avail... {Death End}

Choice C: You shout, "This is Sparta!"

[Kimanor]

That synopsis was... interesting?

[Tatsujin]

I feel like doing an edit on this. I've spotted somethings that needs to be reworded, added or changed. >_>;;

[Sparkker]

I feel like doing an edit on this. I've spotted somethings that needs to be reworded, added or changed. >_>;;

Don't worry, the flaw of the story is that it's in a very, very big, " " / Double quote. For now, I'm using it as a reason/excuse so that I don't edit so much.

[Tatsujin]

Don't worry, the flaw of the story is that it's in a very, very big, " " / Double quote. For now, I'm using it as a reason/excuse so that I don't edit so much.

Oh not the story. Grammar mostly.

[Sparkker]

Oh not the story. Grammar mostly.

I know.. I hate bad grammar as well, although I know I have bad grammar. ()