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Parallel Pain

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  1. 義経、いいのか? 与一が衆道にそまってしまうかもしれないぞ

    I need help finding the equivalent to 衆道.

    Basically, some way to refer to homosexualify in such a way that the average person wouldn't understand.

    Any ideas?

    Why do you need the average person to not understand?

    The formal academic term is Pederasty.

    Shudo is the Japanese form.

  2. Thing is, I don't even know any kind of incantation at all...

    And I'm kinda want to translate it as close to the original as possible.

    If you mean translating the actual incantations, I wouldn't as your audience wouldn't know what those are. The most I'd do is insert a common Japanese one that hopefully your reader has touched enough manga/anime/games to know what they are.

    Here's something useful http://www.funtrivia.com/en/subtopics/Hocus-Pocus-Alakazam-316253.html

  3. Show how should I translate the 2nd sentence? It's kinda like a mess of untranslatable chanting phrase.

    It sounds like she's just desperately stringing together different incantations from as wide a source as possible. Actually she even says that "Let's end with xxxxxx, and just to add yyyyyyy"

     

    So just string along a mess of incantations from as wide a source as you can find and would probably be known to a western audience.

  4. Hmm, I'd assume this is her way of saying 使用, maybe to emphasize that she speaks cute? I don't think I've seen it written like this before, though, but there is nothing else that could be said here, really.

     

    EDIT: woops, it seems someone has already beaten me to this. xD

    It's not 使用

     

    The の in 同じのにしようとしたの because a shorthand for "repeat the previous noun" which is probably shampoo.

     

    So it's 同じshampooにしようとしたの 

  5. No, this isn't a past-tense sentence, she's talking about the protag, not the past incident. "Even if I let you have one touch, all I'd let you touch is my uniform." It's not about dodging, she's just saying that all she'd let him touch is her clothes, nothing more, if she even allowed him to do it in the first place. It's a hypothetical statement about limits. The 言ったって proposes a hypothetical time after she has said ワンタッチ, that's why the past-tense is used on 触らせてあげる. She's not talking about the same incident as earlier though, she's talking to/about the protag.

    She was talking about being touched, and the MC starts imagining what it would be like, and then calls her chest lovely. She gets all in a tizzy as these girls always do after being complimented, and then comes back with the response that even if she gave one touch to the MC, she would only let him touch her clothes. Dodging doesn't come into it at all. Honestly just drop the whole 達人 part, it doesn't make any sense in English. The protag assumed 愛理 would let him touch her breasts, because he thinks she's a master of sexuality, and so he's surprised that she wouldn't let him and only let him touch her clothes, surprised that she would make a distinction on a millimetre scale and not just let him touch her. He thought she was looser than she's currently acting, basically. Asked a native and that's about the answer she gave me. But honestly if you can get across the point that the protag thought she would let him, and he's surprised she would make a millimetre distinction and not go all the way, then you'd done the job of that line, ignore the messy 達人 stuff.

    The One touch refers to the previous part of the conversation. 言ったって = 言ったというのは = "When I said..." = clause marking that she's going to clarify something.

    Which means whatever explanation she's going to give now, it'd be about the last time she said ワンタッチ. Which means the previous occurrance.

    She use 触らせてあげた because it already happened. If it was supposed to be hypothetical she would've attached a もし and used 触らせてあげる or 触らせてあげたら

     

    The clafification she offers is to

    「なんせ、この私の胸にワンタッチしたんだから!この乙女の可憐な胸によ!」

    奏 「ワンタッチって…お前なら避けられただろう

    愛理 「まぁね

  6. I think the "splitting hairs" part can be a bit misleading, but dowolf's line does the job alright for the most part.

     

    It's a bit of a mouthful, but maybe something like this could also work:

    "Don't tell me you can actually differentiate between a few millimeters of cloth like that! It sounds almost like you've been practicing for this!"

     

    This line would also make sense if this was the first time she actually pulled that stunt off (as her smug reaction in the case of dowolf's line "You'll make me think you've done this a million times." indicates it wasn't)..

    Mmmmmm. Doesn't really sound like something he'd say. Way too tame. And yeah a mouthful.

     

    Also not splitting hairs here. She definately dodged it. And he wasn't complimenting her.

     

     

    Yeah, this sounds closest to what he is saying exactly. Unfortunately, this exact phrasing doesn't work that well in English (I think) and comes off as a bit awkward.

    I think it works. Not really that weird. It's like saying "What are you, Einstein?".

    Just need a bit of imagination/good voice actor.

  7. Translating it simply as "master" is fine. It's adding "shaolin/kung fu/etc." that perverts the meaning.

     

    "Hey. Don't go dodging by a millimeter on purpose! Or I'd think you were some kind of kungfu master!" doesn't make much sense, neither as a thing to say nor given that she said a second ago that she didn't dodge it. And you don't get exasperated when someone reacts with pride to an actual complement.

  8. As for the line, you'd be best of not trying to translate word by word and just go for meaning. Maybe something like

    "Hey. If you're able to judge a millimeter of a distance like that, you'll make me think you've done this enough times to completely master it."

    Or something. Main thing is to make sure the reader can understand what's happening as well as you (the translator whose looked over it enough to fully understand it).

    That's not really what he means though.

     

    It's more like:

     

    "Hey. Don't go dodging by a millimeter on purpose! Or I'd think you were some kind of kungfu master!"

     

    Which is what the 達人 is pointing at. And which is what made Airi smug.

  9. So umm...

     

    In this case Airi's talking about how she purposely dodged the touch (by milimeters) and (insert person here) only touched her uniform.

     

    Kanade respond by saying "Hey! Don't freaking dodge by milimeters! I'll think you're some kind of master!" (metric system plz, ty).

     

    Which makes Airi act smug.

     

    Which makes Kanade think to himself in a kind of mouth smh/facepalm (he even describes smhing next line) manner 'I see, so you're a god of the new world. Understood.'

  10. I used to think just good sex, both showing each other love and enjoying themselves, and not too drawn out are good.

     

    Well I still think that.

     

    But H-scenes for Haruka and Kanata in LBEX stood out for me as going above and beyond that by showing another psychological of the participants (no not just showing love)

     

    So that's now my criteria for a terrific and fantastic H-scene.

  11. To defend tragic endings

     

    The entire Clannad universe had a very important theme of "moving on". You can see this very clearly.

    Nagisa outright says (paraphrasing) "Nothing you likes lasts forever. Knowing that, can you still keep liking this town."

    To which Tomoya answers (without much thought) "Just find something new that you like."

     

    The entire Clannad story becomes Tomoya's own journey to learn that very lesson. First he grows past what he hates to find what he loves. Then he had to learn to accept loosing it and finding a new reason at life.

     

    That's why Clannad's ending, though happy and popular, from a literary standpoint is a cop-out.

    Maeda Jun decided to go back on his own established theme just to give the fans what they (not he) wanted.

    He didn't even need to write a tragic ending even if he doesn't revive Nagisa. There's no reason he couldn't have Tomoya just live happily with Ushio, maybe even remarrying.

     

    From that point then, Tomoyo After's tragic ending is much better than Clannad's happy ending. It keeps to the theme.

    Tomoya and Tomoyo had to help people around them learn to move on. Now she's tested herself if she could.

    The story and ending have room for improvement, but it is much better than Clannad's ending from a literary thematic point of view.

  12. 不公平 means "not fair"

     

    不当 means "not reasonable" "not justified" "not suitable"

     

    不正 means "not just" "not right"

     

    They're pretty interchangable. There's a slight difference in meaning and connotation.

     

    不公平 is pretty common. 不当 and 不正 are pretty rare.

  13. Yeah, there you go, you used exactly the word that I thought of instead with that meaning, "appear." That's how it would be described on, as I said, a 2d plane. Giving it 3d movement imagery is weird and contradictory. It would appear (something along the same meaning as that), rather than rise. I know it's in the original, but bad and contradictory imagery is bad and contradictory imagery.

  14. Well in England it does, and far as I know it's the same in America. If you spill some wine on the carpet, or get something on your clothes, you don't call it a stain, you'd say something like "I have to clean it or it'll stain." It will *become* a stain if it dries in. When things go past the point where they can cleaned off and removed, without a huge amount of effort, then they become stains. We never call things stains the second they happen, but leave it for a week and you will have a stain. It's similar to "scar" in that way. As soon as you cut yourself you don't call it a scar, you'd say it *will* leave a scar. Once it goes past the point where the mark won't go away, then it becomes a scar. That's how I've always known it to be, and the only way I've ever heard it used.

     

    In addition to that, have you ever seen blood dry (which is the state the blood would be in for it to be a stain, at least for me)? It becomes solid, it becomes something which you can scratch or pick at and peel off. It's certainly not something you can wipe away, it's not liquid at all. That's why I say it's confusing imagery, because the translation there is saying that it "would rise to the surface." That's not something dried blood can do. I can't think of any specific movie names, but you must have seen movies where they have some sort of ominous stone and it has like a flowing liquid inside it which "rises to the surface" when touched or something. That's the sort of impression I get from a liquid substance "rising" within a stone. But a huge spanner is thrown in the works by saying it's a blood stain.

     

    Again it's what you make of it, but 染み is also a "spot," and that makes much more sense to me in this context, because then we can still talk about liquid blood, and it rising makes sense.

    I should note here spot is a synonmy for stain the way it is used. Also he never once said (in either language) that it disappears, only that it appears. In fact it's heavily implied in both languages version (just short of outright stating) that it doesn't, disappear.

     

    The word is used twice here. "something like the stain of his blood" and "stained by".

    You are only thinking of "stain" as thinking of is dirt/grime type in daily usage. But here "stain" the translator use here also means "dye" "colouration" and "morally tarnished reputation". And it is also a used in its verb form. That's why the repeat makes poetic sense.

    And stains can (or rather, usualy do by definition) soak into a material. It's not painting. It's absorbing. Of course it can rise to the surface of something.

    I can picture it, the stain rising in the rock like the dark red stain of blood soaking into bandages. Something in the stone stains it darker and darker every time he kills someone. It is a constant reminder of his heart being stained darker and darker.

     

    "Spot" can not do this.

     

    The best part is the original Japanese does the exact same thing.

     

    And what do you mean specific. It's very unspecific. He doesn't know what is staining the stone, so he's compairing to blood stains.

  15. It doesn't flow well though... "something like the stain of his blood" is barely legible at all. How would a stain show up? Some of the sentence gives the impression of this blood moving, as it appears and disappears, but that's the exact opposite of what a stain is. A stain is a stain because it won't move, it won't go away and you can't make it go away. As visual imagery it's really odd. Didn't fit well at all, and doesn't seem like a good translation to me.

    Also the fact that he uses stain twice. So the stone is stained with his sins which are stains of blood. We getting into stainception here. Also I think "stained with" is better than "stained by" in that case. Makes it feel more like a burden, and more like a stain.

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