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*anoyoruniyakusokushita

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    *anoyoruniyakusokushita

    Posted · Edited by *anoyoruniyakusokushita

    2 minutes ago, Snailmusk said:

    Gender doesn't mean anything, so who cares.

    Apparently a lot of people do. Including me. And also, have you ever thought about the possibility of you being a cassgender? Because you definitely sound like one.

    Cassgender: the feeling of gender is unimportant to you (definition)

    *anoyoruniyakusokushita

    Posted

    Just now, Snailmusk said:

    Why not?

    This means most of us all would have to force ourselves to be agender. You would have to live your whole life pretending to be something you aren't. Seriously, do you really think that idea can work? Taking out a portion of whom people have been throughout their whole lives out of the blue. I think we are born with it, we can't simply get rid of it.

    *anoyoruniyakusokushita

    Posted

    39 minutes ago, RedK said:

    Let's make a yuri-topia :pyaa:

    How do you know it wouldn't be a yaoi-topia?

    46 minutes ago, Snailmusk said:

    The purpose of language is all about communication and clarity. You shouldn't associate the very core of your identity over the definition of a word, because it's totally arbitrary. 

    Is male the very core of your identity? In the same way, my gender is not the core of my identity. It's just my gender, nothing else.

     

    49 minutes ago, Snailmusk said:

    When my head does loops trying to understand if you're "Proxvir" or "Vocigender" it does nothing but make it harder for us to understand each other as people. 

    If the very idea of something is non-objective, then I don't understand why: > Calling an agender person a "she" feels as bad as calling a cis male a "she".
                                                                                                          and: > a cis male, being taken to a female dorm, with female clothes and called by a female name.
    ...are such cataclysmic social sins.

    You don't have to try to understand if I'm one gender or another. You just have to ask me. That simple.

    What exactly do you mean by non-objective?

    51 minutes ago, Snailmusk said:

    If the purpose of gender is to make communication easy, then we should stick to the things that nature has prescribed us, because there IS a level of truth to it.

    If the purpose of gender is something to identify as, it shouldn't be something completely void and meaningless. I identify you as a person by the way you act, the way you think, and the way you conduct yourself. It's what makes us human beings. These gender pronouns and identifications are about as superficial as it gets.

    Gender does not have a purpose. It just exists. It's like what's the purpose of the universe? None, it's just... There.

    *anoyoruniyakusokushita

    Posted

    1 minute ago, RedK said:

    Everyone having the same gender.

    Do you think it's possible?

    Possible, you say... It is possible, but I find it highly unlikely. Like, lots of people go through surgeries to feel better with their body because of their gender. I don't think this would happen if there was only one gender. The only thing I know with 100% certainty, is that, right now, I am third gender.

    *anoyoruniyakusokushita

    Posted

    16 minutes ago, Chronopolis said:
    Now actually on to my reply.
     
    The reasons why I don't ask people their pronouns:
    1. By current sensibilities, it feels silly
    2. Inertia
    3. In the current socieity, doing so will lower many people's impression of me.
     
    The third reason is the largest reason. If it was acceptable, after getting over the change, I wouldn't mind saying that as a courtesy. Though imo that's all it is, a courtesy.

    You know, I don't really think you're wrong here. I don't think you should be asking whatever person you see their pronouns or gender, because most might even not have any idea of what you're talking about. I think you should just wait for the person talk about it (usually non-binary people will tell you when they can). Because, honestly, some people we will just meet once or twice, so learning their pronouns will be useless. And the ones that will become part of your daily life will probably tell you at some point. My advice is just to try as best as you can not to assign any gender to anyone.

    What I said in my last post is about perpetuating social issues. It's about seeing a situation which privileges you and emphasizes other people's suffering, and doing nothing about it. Although you yourself wouldn't be racist, or transphobic, ableist or whatever if you did that, you also wouldn't be contributing for the world to be a better place. That's why some individuals (that's kind of a discriminatory term, but keep in mind I used it because I don't like repeating the word "people") from minorities don't like privileged people at all.

    20 minutes ago, Chronopolis said:
    What I disagree is giving such thing a label and elevating it to being something that others must always understand.
     

    No, I don't think others must always understand nor do I expect that to happen. People don't need to understand to respect something. It's like atheism. One of my friends once told me that, on her former school, the teachers forced her (an atheist) to attend the church mass. I don't think the teachers should understand how she felt to respect her lack of belief. Actually, respect is about treating people well even if you do not understand them.

    34 minutes ago, Chronopolis said:
    Your basis of elevation is that for that element of your identity, you did not choose to become that. I'm not sure I agree with that. I think identity in this context is often a process of exploring areas until you find something which feels right to you. When you say "I was meant to be like this \ I'm sure this was how I was born", you really are just attesting to how right it feels, which is a subjective feeling. 
     

    I don't think I understand exactly what you mean. So you think identity is a choice? Well, there's no way to actually be sure if you were born a certain way or if you became that way as a result of environmental stimuli. But either way, it doesn't really matter. It's still not a choice. Like, back to the atheism example. I don't think anyone is born an atheist, but it's not like we chose to be one. What we saw, what we heard, what we experienced in our lives, all that led us to the lack of belief in a god. If a person was raised in a religious family, and does not want to go through all the stress of coming out, they would obviously choose "not to be an atheist" if they had that choice. I've even seen some of my friends saying they wish they could believe in something, but they can't. So, despite not being something genetic, it's still part of what a lot of people are, and those people must be respected, even if they aren't comprehended.

    46 minutes ago, Chronopolis said:
    To take a part of one's identity and share it, and tell people to acknowledge it, is basically putting oneself as a topic out there and wanting people to notice you and share (by understanding) in that part of your identity. However, doing this outside the appropriate times is still a social faux paus. Understanding someone is requires time and effort by the other person. It's inconsiderate to impose that on people automatically.
     

    Again, why does acknowledging someone's identity must involve understanding and sharing it? If I tell my straight friend I'm gay, he needs neither to be gay as well nor to understand how it feels to be one in order to acknowledge my identity.

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