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Fuwanovel Confessions


OriginalRen

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Confession: I watched in horror yesterday as a guy loaded up a video of an ASMR recording on youtube (apparently ASMR video is a thing, even though that kind of doesn't make sense to me) in front of about a dozen people, many of us basically strangers (including myself), and the rest of them his coworkers. I don't think he has massive stones so much as he simply thought, "Oh, nobody will think this is all that weird." Needless to say, nobody else had heard of the concept, and they did think it was that weird. At one point, perhaps realizing just how awkward everybody was finding it, he announced "there's nothing sexual about it, ... though I do have to admit that girl is pretty damn hot," which led to probably the loudest guffaw I have ever guffawed.

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Confession: I seriously don't know what I've done wrong to end up like this on Fuwanovel. I went to Japan in 2014 to search for a job, and ever since members started questioning my content, I got depressed. That depression eventually turned to salt, and now the only thing I care about is shit posting and click bait threads. I've made a lot of enemies, but I don't feel Fuwanovel is worth the time to save at this point. Maybe it's my fault; maybe I'm blind and don't see the truth.

Was it my fault? Was it the gifts I promised from Japan that I couldn't afford? Is my hobby consuming my anger and making me give up on everyone and myself? Am I holding on to something, hoping one day I can feel the "spark" in my creativity and bring this site back to life? I just don't know anymore. I don't want this to happen, but at the same time, I feel it's too late to do anything at this point in time. I felt I was on fire a long time ago. I felt like I was always creative with new ideas. I used to be looked up to.

The real question...is any of this worth it? I do care, and it's not that I want to make enemies, but I just don't know what to do.

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It's not worth, Ren. 

And yes, it's your fault (that you feel the way you do currently, not for Fuwa ending up the way it is now). You had a vision for what you wanted Fuwa to be, a community where you can rule as the sole originator and creative game god that everybody idolized close-knit community where everybody was working together hand-in-hand smiley happy faces towards a common goal.

A noble goal, indeed.

But ultimately it didn't pan out, and so you would, every now and then, spontaneously combust on the forums and very, very vocally lament about how Fuwa was a waste of time and that the Glory Days were over (for you), thus slowly earning the contempt of the community via "Ohhh no, this guy's qqing. Again. Let's just poke him with a stick and see what happens"

Repeat the above for several millennium, and here we are, with you feeling like utter crap and that the world is out to get you.

~~
The problem? You wanted too much out of the community. Just drop by whenever you feel like it, sit back, relax, chat with people, and have fun; don't worry about trying to get Fuwa out of its 17th Stagnation Era. True, we may have stagnated, but with stagnation comes peace. Until someone starts ranting :ren:

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1 hour ago, Eclipsed said:

And yes, it's your fault (that you feel the way you do currently, not for Fuwa ending up the way it is now). You had a vision for what you wanted Fuwa to be, a community where you can rule as the sole originator and creative game god that everybody idolized close-knit community where everybody was working together hand-in-hand smiley happy faces towards a common goal.

I've expanded on this elsewhere, but a community with no purpose is easily broken. Because of this, the expansion of Fuwa over the past year -> more reviews (started by Ryechu, continued with Bats,) more quality discussion and content in the VN forum, is a small step but still a small step forward. Because giving people a place to talk about VNs (and to talk about VNs there has to be reasonable discussion available, only people who love their own voice likes talking in a vacuum,) find information about VNs, means they will likely stay afterward to talk. Whereas if the community was solely a place to muck around (which it was more inclined to be in the past,) then it would be a much more fragile community imo. People would easily become bored and leave.

It's pleasing to see Fuwa taking a small step forward this year, even if it was a small step and I couldn't contribute anywhere due to exhaustion and working at my writing :( People like Decay, Bats, Ryechu really helped Fuwa this year. And that VNTS thing is doing great. And the increase in developers is also great.

So I disagree with some people's assessment that Fuwa is stagnating, just the rapid growth people expected didn't arrive. Also, VNs will be shaken up, but it won't come from Fuwa because it likely won't come from the translated part of the scene. Interactive fiction has a huge future, but not as it currently is in the VN community.

 

Double post - because Zeno wanted it.

 

Triple post because Zeno is rarely on.
 

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@OriginalRen I understand what you mean Ren. It isn't your fault and I would follow Eclipsed suggestion of not caring. Let it have its way and just enjoy whatever you enjoy. Talk with some people and post something you want without the constraint. It didn't become what you expected but it is still the same community. Even though there is a new memberbase. The old guard we both arrived with during late 2013 - early 2014 are gone. At least most of them. That is the cycle of life of any forum. People come and go. The old generation is replaced by a new one. The old generation enjoyed your games and they pushed you forward to the brink of destruction with more advanced and complex entertaining. When the older members fell of except some of the regulars it was replaced by a new one. The old generation is grumpy and doesn't approve of the new one because of clashing opinions and views. A bit exaggerated perhaps but that's what I feel at least.

I agree with Rooke. I think Fuwa is taking steps forward. I remember when we was the dark horse and everyone despised us. That has changed and we are actually trying to promote VNs now with reviews, VNTS and occasionally good VN discussion threads (these existed before). I think our reputation is raising and we get more recognition for our work here. It isn't much but it is at least something. I am not contributing in any way except posting what I think is something useful.

But yes we are in one of our usual stagnation period. But we got this every year. I recall last year around the same time period was a desert here. I actually thought Fuwa was going down because there was less than 100 visitors on average. But I think this period is the dead Fuwa period because of exams, end of School and beginning of Summer. I got opinions and I have raised them all whenever we got surveys. But I am not complaining and I am not eligible to complain because I am not contributing. I'm just enjoying my time here. I have tried to figure out something I can do. But in the end I don't really know what. In the end I am joining a few discussions here and there without much care.

 

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2 hours ago, OriginalRen said:

Confession: I seriously don't know what I've done wrong to end up like this on Fuwanovel. I went to Japan in 2014 to search for a job, and ever since members started questioning my content, I got depressed. That depression eventually turned to salt, and now the only thing I care about is shit posting and click bait threads. I've made a lot of enemies, but I don't feel Fuwanovel is worth the time to save at this point. Maybe it's my fault; maybe I'm blind and don't see the truth.

Was it my fault? Was it the gifts I promised from Japan that I couldn't afford? Is my hobby consuming my anger and making me give up on everyone and myself? Am I holding on to something, hoping one day I can feel the "spark" in my creativity and bring this site back to life? I just don't know anymore. I don't want this to happen, but at the same time, I feel it's too late to do anything at this point in time. I felt I was on fire a long time ago. I felt like I was always creative with new ideas. I used to be looked up to.

The real question...is any of this worth it? I do care, and it's not that I want to make enemies, but I just don't know what to do.

"If it ain't broke, don't fix it," eternally wise words that apply to all life scenarios. The problem is that you think Fuwanovel is critically damaged and in need of repairs. The truth is that it's actually kinda fine! If you attempt to fix something that isn't broken, you're bound to fail and end up worse off than you were before. Fuwanovel is at worse a bit slower than it used to be, and in reality is simply different from what you were used to in early 2014. This isn't necessarily a bad thing. You seem to find it really hard adapting to the current Fuwanovel, and because of this, you have deemed the site necessary to be "saved." Furthermore, you seem to have deemed yourself the only person worthy of this task, rarely ever working with anyone else to accomplish your goals. There's a whole community of members here who would love for fuwanovel to become a better place and are willing to put in the effort to try and make it happen. Some of us are already doing it. I'm doing it in the only way I know how, basically with my writing. So if I was to give some reason for why things turned out this way for you, they're 1) an overestimation of the severity of Fuwanovel's peril combined with a selfish viewpoint where it must be you who is the savior, instead of a mere cog in the machine helping things along, and 2) an unwillingness to work with everyone else who wants to make Fuwanovel a better place.

I still don't know what your vision of Fuwanovel is, after all this time. I really can't tell what goals you were working towards. And that's a problem, when you're trying to be an almighty savior. If it's "a bustling community where OriginalRen is at the center, beloved by all," that's not a cause we need a savior for, frankly. And if that wasn't your goal, then I'm not entirely sure what your actions were meant to accomplish. Maybe you don't even realize it yourself, but that's the only future your actions were working towards. It didn't pan out because it's this forum does not seem interested in idolizing any single member. Sometimes communities evolve in ways you don't agree with. It's not always a bad thing, and usually it's best to just move on when that happens. It doesn't mean the forum needs to be "saved," it just means it's a different place now. That's okay.

I hope things work out for you. Take it easy, buddy.

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To be honest I didn't had any confession here, but I knew what Ren need here right now. I think what he need this time should be rest and think calmly instead keep coming here. Because from what I'd see you could suffered some burn out from your job (Maybe your job was suddenly more hard or something like that), and well looks like your hobby here wasn't going just as you like I supposed. Anyway, have a good hiatus, Ren (If you need it).

I kind of want to know what kind of unity that all Fuwanovel should had according to you. If you didn't mind, could you express yourself in regard of that at  Member Longue. That way, maybe some of Fuwanovel member could understand your point. Oh, and if you think Fuwanovel was had not much unity right now, my opinion it was quite hard to had one vision if there's many new member coming here since many people mean many more different opinion. As for me, right now Fuwanovel is nice although it may change in the future though (For me at least).

For last word, I knew you didn't like Hoshimemo but that's fine to me and I think some member here already knew that.

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 I can relate to the feeling that Fuwa is past its prime, Ren. I feel the same a bit too, but that's because of change. Fuwa changed, not necessarily for the worse, but it might just be us who are drifting away from Fuwa. I miss many old members too, and as idiotic that sounds, this place has been the most homely place for me these last 2 years. I shared most of my troubles and happy moments with you guys, from FSG (RIP, long live the FSJPG) to this very thread to just general banter around the forums. People change, Ren. Places too. The difference is, places often don't remember changing, it's difficult to make a place "remember" something for its new inhabitants. As is expected from any other place, be it your old college or your favorite restaurant or just a little nook of the internet which exists to discuss VNs and have a jolly good time, these things change Ren. And cruelly, they never remember. Such is sad, but it is so. I really relate to your sadness and frustration about the change in this community, I really do. However, Fuwanovel has changed, Ren. And it's up to you to decide if you want to move on, seek the Fuwanovel of old, or change what Fuwanovel means to you. 

 

P. S.: You have done much, much more than it could be expected for this community, Ren. Just want to say that. 

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Confession: I'm honestly kinda surprised at how well I did on the placement test for college. Despite having been out of school since 09, I'm apparently not required to take any remedial classes. I had a feeling I'd get decent scores for reading and writing, but the one for math had to have been a fluke. I think there were 5 questions I random guessed on, and a few where I worked out the solution by doing math off of the choices rather than the actual problem. Maybe it's not a bad thing that I have till Fall to start; it'll give me time to do some actual studying before taking the intermediate college course.

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I'm always (kind of, not really) surprised at the proportion of people online who think killing someone is okay if they're trying to rape you. I mean, I don't really mind, but it seems like a break from the typical way that people like to handle violent countermeasures. Or is it just me and it's normal to try to kill someone who isn't actually threatening your life?

I don't mind either way, just a fun thought I had.

I'm reading a Reddit post about some mother who killed this father for attempting to molest their daughter and everyone in the comments is applauding her. Though I've always been a fan of harsh punishments, so I don't mind.

 

(I'm kind of hoping this wrangles up some fun discussion, but I'm not dramatic enough for that to really happen, I guess. At least I think that's a good point on my character, so I can't be too angry)

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There’s a lot of talk about ‘justice’ and ‘fairness’, but really in my experience the world is more often split into ‘actions’ and ‘consequences’. If you attempt to do someone harm, then you’ll probably have to accept whatever comes your way. A ‘proportional response’ is just an idea, in that situation the attacker should just expect a ‘response’.

I would assume people are applauding because they’re a little sick of (what they believe) is the inability of the law to protect them. And that they’re glad to see people ‘striking back’ or something.

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