Jump to content

Fuwanovel Confessions


Recommended Posts

I thought it was something of the sort when you just ran out of TS :P

What I actually mean is that I'm super jelly tho

Some people have girls randomly coming over at 2 in the morning to fuck, and some people, well... :makina:

Some people have girls coming over at 1:00 in the morning!

I just noticed that Ren has taken Taco's place as the resident ladies' man of fuwa now

Link to comment
Share on other sites

 I just noticed that Ren has taken Taco's place as the resident ladies' man of sputnik now

Speaking of sputniks, did you know that today is the 58th anniversary of the first living organism (larger than a microbe) reaching orbit in the Sputnik 2? :wafuu:

How the hell did you even catch that ffs

Link to comment
Share on other sites


All right Fuwanovel, I have a story to share with all of you. I have to tell it to you because my goodness, I am still laughing my ass off as I type this. So I'll let you know straight out, this is going to be a story about sex. If you aren't into that kind of stuff, feel free to skip it over because I don't want to make anyone feel uncomfortable. That being said, I am sure a lot of you might have guessed this by now, but my sexual life is filled with a plethora of hilarity. This story, after a year or more of no sexual activity, is no different.

Do you remember the other day when I was talking about how I felt a little bit frustrated that I didn't have someone I could flirt with for fun? Well turns out my ex and I were talking about random stuff like we always do, and things started to happen earlier this evening. We ended up bringing up the fact that we were both sexually frustrated, and seeing as how we are both single at the moment, we ended up hitting it off. One thing led to another and she drove over to my house to hang out. Mind you, this was at 1:30 in the morning. Now I say this because let's be honest, I don't know many friends that meet up during the wee hours of the morning just to hang out. Well as you might have guessed, "hanging out" turned into "let's fuck" in no time flat.

Now of course I didn't have any condoms on me when she came over. I mean, I haven't been sexually active for over a year or more, and the only reason she just so happened to be on the pill was for cycle control. So what do we do? Hop in the car and head into town to grab condoms at 2:00 in the morning of course! No big deal, right?

The look on that cashier's face. As a young man, you always dread the day you have to go and buy your first pack of condoms. Imagine how I felt after doing this many times in the past and being 25 years old and seeing the look of utter disappointment on her face. Simply dreadful. It didn't help that my ex decided it would be super awesome to come inside and buy them with me. That was a fun little chuckle they enjoyed having.

Pride being destroyed aside, we ended up making our purchase (seriously, $20 for a pack of 36 at Walgreens?) and heading back to my place. Now being the horny little dogs we were, we just threw our clothes on the floor and started going at it on my living room sofa. No problem! We finished up and decided to take a dip in my hot tub to relax. Of course she didn't have a swimsuit with her and I had no idea where mine was, so we ended up going in naked. By the way, did I mention I am currently staying at my parent's house?

So, things were going smoothly. The sex was great, and after spending a little bit of time in the tub, we decide that it would be kind of hot to get busy once again. Now thinking I was the coolest cat this side of the Mississippi, I told my ex having hot tub sex would be fun. She agreed. Easy!

So here's a tip to everyone: having sex underwater is extremely difficult. I don't know how many zero-g slams you've performed in your lifetime, but let me tell you that's the last time I consider trying that out. To give you an idea of how it felt, think beached whales. Each thrust meant floating an extra mile across the tub, and positioning meant somebody was going straight underwater in the pit of scalding hot liquid. To put it lightly, it sucked. Well, one thing led to another and we agreed it was impossible and a stupid idea. Of course we wanted to finish the deed though, because both of us having blue balls would have been pure torture. Solution? Stand straight up and keep going at it!

We both felt kind of kinky due to the fact that we were having outdoor sex while being pretty much fully exposed (you know, the whole voyeurism thing), and everything seemed to be going well for the most part. I used the word seemed here because we all know there's more to this story.

Turns out at 3:00 in the morning, my neighbor's dog has to go to the bathroom. Now seeing that his backdoor is on a porch overlooking his yard, you are easily able to look over into my yard and see what sorts of fun activities are taking place. In this particular instance, one would be able to look over and see a certain individual plowing someone in the rear. Good thing my neighbor has one of those doggie doors, because who cares if the dog sees right?

The next thing that happened quite literally felt like the longest minute of my life. My neighbor's dog started barking at the top of his lungs while watching me have sex with my ex. We didn't think this was a big deal because we could just easily sit down in the tub and pretend nothing was happening if the owner woke up to check on him. But of course, dogs barking near my parent's house meant dogs started to bark in my house, and that was bad news bears. You see, even though I am perfectly old enough to make my own sexual decisions, I do not supersede her house rules.

When my dogs bark, it means they need to use the bathroom. It means that my mom needs to wake up and let them outside. It means they need to come near the hot tub. Danger Will Robinson, abandon ship! We end up jumping out of the tub naked and sprint into the house with our clothes. We rush into my basement and wait until things calm down. Luckily, my mom came downstairs and didn't bother me. She let the dogs outside and waited for them to finish their business. She didn't call to me in the basement or ask me to come and talk with her (keeping in mind we were both still naked). What a relief.

So here we are laughing our asses off in the basement about what just happened. Even though we are practically dying, we both agreed that finishing up would be the best choice. I end up bringing her into my room downstairs filled with all of my weeb shit and we end up having more sex on my futon. Of course, she can't keep a straight face and is now laughing about how ironic it is that all of my 2D shit is surrounding us while we go at it. In the end, we don't finish - she's laughing too hard at this point. We got dressed, talked for another half hour, and then called it a morning.

Now here I am typing this story that just happened. I have no closing words. My goodness.

 Yes yes, this will be great material for the Fuwanovel Cards Against Humanity deck.


Link to comment
Share on other sites

Confession: I always have a tendency of slapping a girl's ass whenever I went outings with them.

That is either going to turn out very well or very, very bad.

I'd place my money on very, very bad.

Obviously I will choose the girl that wouldn't mind being slapped on the ass.:illya:

Yes, however the odds of getting the crap smacked out of you by 99 girls who don't appreciate getting slapped on the ass is much, much greater.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Confession: So I was watching a movie I'll be responsible for in tomorrow's history exam

...Didn't expect that ending

FUCK ;_;

Which film? Sounds... intense.

It's 90% lame comedy and it's probably not worth your time but https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xsDixvt3XfA (it SHOULD have English subs, check the menu)

edit: If the delivery was better and if it wasn't Ottoman Empire oriented and pretty lame except the last 20% (probably a shitton of untranslatable jokes in there) this could be a globally famous/notorious ending

Edited by Funyarinpa
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Confession: I insult my neighbors all the time behind their backs and don't feel bad about it.  The little shit stole our lemons  >.<

Not really a confession, but an amusing story.  My yoga teacher was out sick today, so we had a sub, and this sub was a pretty cliche yoga teacher.  Said a lot of "deep" things and whatnot.  Anyway, she decided that we were going to all stand in a big circle, do tree pose, and then stick our hands out to touch our neighbors' hands and balance that way.  The class is 3/4 girls, so of course I was next to two girls.  Anyway...it was just really odd, since we're all adults and she's talking about how students in K-12 aren't allowed to have physical contact anymore.  A lot of people were giggling because of how odd this whole situation was.  The sub then said that we should all probably wash our hands after class, and a lot of people just cracked up.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Confession: the girl who has bar duty often at my local game store tood me she thought I was really funny today

I was flabbergasted

Just in case you didn't understand, this is a great opportunity to get to know her and try to make a new friend.

Friend? I was thinking it was the opportunity to get her number and score a date.

Though I've never heard of a game store having a bar...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Create New...