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Fuwanovel Confessions


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Confession. I know I get depressed and down and out about things but I've got a pretty decent life. I've got some friends and people who love and care about me which is more than some people before me have. I'm alone right now but I'm a pretty good looking guy with a "interesting" personality and a absolutely stellar taste in music. I guess what I'm looking for is a woman who can make a smart decision and choose me for me.

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Confession: I'm strangely hyped(?) for Maggot Baits. Which makes little sense, as guro was never really my thing (at least the hentai part of it, I liked the over-the-top anime gore quite a lot in the past, before I got into SoL stuff so much), but I like the premise and the overall aesthetic to the point I really want to see the whole thing, just to know what it is like. I wonder if I'll regret it by the end... :nico:

Edited by Plk_Lesiak
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Confession: I desperately want to avoid getting my driver's license, but I can't keep putting this off. College starts again in about a month and I no longer have anyone available to drive me there.

I'd much rather take a bus, but sadly the nearest stop is right at my destination. Guess I just need to suck it up. :( Doesn't help I need to take a 4-hour safety course to get a damn permit in Florida.

Edited by Kenshin_sama
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1 hour ago, Kenshin_sama said:

Confession: I desperately want to avoid getting my driver's license, but I can't keep putting this off.

Even if you don't plan on driving, it's still important to get. It could save you a bunch of money in the future on insurance and such.

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On 6/29/2018 at 2:09 PM, Kurisu-Chan said:

Gonna erase this, mostly because i posted without thinking, sorry here, nothing to see.

If you can afford it, it's a good idea. Keep doing the same old things and nothing will change. Good luck mate.

Edited by 1P1A
sorry for the double post, I'm clearly retarded
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16 hours ago, 1P1A said:

Even if you don't plan on driving, it's still important to get. It could save you a bunch of money in the future on insurance and such.

Another reason is to be prepared for the unexpected. Even if you don't drive regularly, you never know if you suddenly need to drive. I once got ill while driving and a passenger took over and drove me home. We would be stuck if he didn't have a license despite not owning a car. Another reason is to get a government issued picture ID, another item you might need when you least expect it.

Last, but not least you live in the country where General Motors have been buying public transportation companies with the intension of shutting them down. They were convicted and fined back in the 50s, but that haven't recreated the severely damaged public transport system. Now you pretty much have the choice between driving or go hikkomori.

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4 minutes ago, Funyarinpa said:

I'm a bit afraid about using a car...

Everyone is at first. It mostly goes away after a few lessons, actually. The instructor always controls all your actions, so it's almost impossible to actually crash into something, and with experience you start making all the necessary actions automatically.

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21 hours ago, 1P1A said:

Even if you don't plan on driving, it's still important to get. It could save you a bunch of money in the future on insurance and such.

That's the thing, I didn't even want to practice driving to get the license. You do make a good point, though.

5 hours ago, tymmur said:

Another reason is to be prepared for the unexpected. Even if you don't drive regularly, you never know if you suddenly need to drive. I once got ill while driving and a passenger took over and drove me home. We would be stuck if he didn't have a license despite not owning a car. Another reason is to get a government issued picture ID, another item you might need when you least expect it.

Last, but not least you live in the country where General Motors have been buying public transportation companies with the intension of shutting them down. They were convicted and fined back in the 50s, but that haven't recreated the severely damaged public transport system. Now you pretty much have the choice between driving or go hikkomori.

There have been a few occasions where having a license would've helped me, namely when my friends are getting drunk and I'm the only one sober. One time I had to stay the night at someone's house since no one I came with stayed sober, and I had a most unfortunate night with a couple kids that felt like they were raised by Satan himself. They did not know how to sleep at all, and they always had terrified looks on their faces when told to go to bed.

I do have a few IDs already. A standard state-issued ID from Florida, a veteran's ID from the VA, and a student ID from my college. Hell, I even have one for the city I live in to access certain facilities. But I guess I'd rather have too much than too little. Although I do know Florida considers your state ID and driver's license the same thing, so I'm not sure if I need to hand in my state ID for the license (or if they just stamp it or whatever).

Huh, I was not aware of that, though I guess I'm not too surprised. We do have a penchant for getting screwed over by big dick billionaires.

2 hours ago, Kiriririri said:

Better to not get driver's license tbh so we can kill driving cars and mostly use public transport!

Here here! That would be so much better for the environment. :sachi:

45 minutes ago, Funyarinpa said:

Confession: I got registered for a driving course today. My practical exam's on the fifth of August, and I might get my license by the 10th of August if everything goes according to plan. I'm a bit afraid about using a car...

I feel your pain, man; this really sucks. :vinty: But hey, I'll get back with you once I start driving and let you know how it turns out for me.

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Confession: Yesterday I got problem with my laptop screen (already changed my screen once) the problem is I don’t know how to say it. White stuff appear and my laptop screen darker like dying? (My laptop screen touchscreen) :rubycry:

Should I change my screen again? But price around $200 I think.... :pyaa:

Also I’m planning to buy new laptop but need to wait until the end of this year... :amane:

My Laptop screen condition right now... That dark thing I mention need to record it only can show that white stuff :notlikemiya: like curse.... 

Edited by Skypie
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13 hours ago, Skypie said:

Confession: Yesterday I got problem with my laptop screen (already changed my screen once) the problem is I don’t know how to say it. White stuff appear and my laptop screen darker like dying? (My laptop screen touchscreen) :rubycry:

Should I change my screen again? But price around $200 I think.... :pyaa:

Also I’m planning to buy new laptop but need to wait until the end of this year... :amane:

My Laptop screen condition right now... That dark thing I mention need to record it only can show that white stuff :notlikemiya: like curse.... 

Ouch.... sorry to hear about your laptop being damage. Well for me, its much practical and cheaper in the long run in just buying a new laptop to save yourself from the trouble. Laptop LCD/LED screens tend to degrade overtime as you use it often be it for work or gaming... It's something we cannot avoid like death itself :michiru:

Humans and Machines ain't that different :sachi:

I suggest salvaging whatever usable parts your old laptop has, like the hard drive, take it out of the laptop and convert it into a external hard drive...

Repairing your laptop is only a waste of time and money unless its brand new and still has warranty of sorts... 

Patience its a virtue, just for the right time so you'll could finally buy a new laptop! It's gonna be worth it! :maple:

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19 hours ago, Skypie said:

Confession: Yesterday I got problem with my laptop screen (already changed my screen once) the problem is I don’t know how to say it. White stuff appear and my laptop screen darker like dying? (My laptop screen touchscreen) :rubycry:.

I had a laptop once where the monitor cable had a tendency to lose a pin connection in the wire itself (design flaw due to mechanical stress at a certain location). Each time it happened I bought a new one for around 5% of the value of the laptop itself and replaced it myself. Even though I had to do it 3 times, but the cost of having a computer per year was still cheaper than if I had bought a new computer. Eventually I replaced it because some software required a newer CPU, not because of the monitor cable.

Your problem doesn't look like it's a cable issue. Instead something is going on inside the screen itself and it likely isn't possible to do anything about it expect replacing the entire screen unit, a much more expensive part. Since it's not the first time it has happened, odds are that a replaced screen will eventually suffer the same fate. I'm sorry to say this, but it looks like the best option for you is to get a new computer.

It looks a bit like some screens I saw quite a number of years ago, which required to be replaced. They had various stories for impact, meaning applied pressure beyond what they were designed for. Maybe the problem is the touchscreen and the force you apply when you use it. The modern computers have to be so thin that the mechanical strength isn't what it used to be and a touchscreen just makes that part of the problem worse. Do anybody know if there are statistics, which reveals touchscreens to have a shorter lifespan than non-touchscreens?

 

Alternatively go seek help on a forum dedicated to computers, preferably laptops and/or monitors. I'm sure there are people there with more knowledge about monitor issues than all users on Fuwa combined.

5 hours ago, Templarseeker said:

Repairing your laptop is only a waste of time and money unless its brand new and still has warranty of sorts...

I don't think this post would have been made if the monitor is under warranty and can be replaced for free.

5 hours ago, Templarseeker said:

Patience its a virtue, just for the right time so you'll could finally buy a new laptop! It's gonna be worth it! :maple:

Maybe patience isn't the answer in this case. What if the monitor dies completely? I would recommend figuring out a plan for that event, perhaps setting it up to use the TV as a mirrored monitor or whatever. Just anything to allow access to all the files in case the monitor dies completely. Also as always make sure you back up everything.

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Confession: Okay, so I managed to get my learner's permit yesterday with 40/48 questions answered correctly on the test. Holy yikes the test here in Florida was way harder than the one I took for Texas. I was only allowed to get up to 10 questions wrong, so I was getting a little shaky once I got to 6, and the other two I answered incorrectly out of sheer nervousness (at which point I started deep breathing exercises). I almost failed the vision test too, but only because there were a couple letters that were easy to mistake for others. Probably didn't help at all that I haven't had my glasses updated in a few years... Yeah, I guess it was something of a miracle that I even got my permit in the first place, lol. And don't worry, I will update my glasses soon!

In other news, I discovered a cool new way to boost my exercise by reintroducing caffeine back into my daily routine! I had given it up in the past when I was desperate to get my sleep under control because I was so used to drinking it in the afternoon and didn't like the idea of drinking it in the morning (I just didn't feel like it). But eventually the sleep deprivation I've been experiencing has hurt my ability to concentrate on studying due to lack of energy. After watching Doctor Mike's video on sleep, I got the idea to start drinking tea again to see if it could help at all, and it ended up helping me in ways I wasn't expecting it to! It was thanks to that extra energy I from that tea that my performance in both studying and even exercising has improved. It worked so well, in fact, that I went from running on the elliptical for 47 minutes at a moderate pace to 65 minutes at a slightly elevated pace. In fact, I wasn't even tired by the end of it either, so I think I'll try running that with a little more resistance tomorrow. Studying has also been a little more tolerable, though I'm still having issues concentrating for longer than 20 minutes. :jinpou: Maybe I should take up meditation or something.

Edited by Kenshin_sama
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32 minutes ago, Kenshin_sama said:

I managed to get my learner's permit yesterday

:thumbsup:

33 minutes ago, Kenshin_sama said:

After watching Doctor Mike's video on sleep, I got the idea to start drinking tea again to see if it could help at all, and it ended up helping me in ways I wasn't expecting it to!

Confession: I once had problems falling asleep and went to my doctor. He gave me some sleeping pills, which were intended to make me fall asleep on command, hence teaching my body to fall asleep at a specific time even after not taking the pills anymore. I took the first one and then the room started to spin and I got attacked by a serious case of nausea. This feeling of close to vomiting kept me awake until the pill wore off and I could sleep... around sunrise. That's the only time I ever took a sleeping pill.

Nice video btw. What it says actually gets the job done and helps sleeping, but I already knew all the tips from other sources.

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5 hours ago, Kenshin_sama said:

Okay, so I managed to get my learner's permit yesterday with 40/48 questions answered correctly on the test.

Grats.

5 hours ago, Kenshin_sama said:

Studying has also been a little more tolerable, though I'm still having issues concentrating for longer than 20 minutes.

Try the Pomodoro Technique, it works pretty well. You can always tweak it if you find 25 minutes is too little or too much.

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22 hours ago, tymmur said:

Confession: I once had problems falling asleep and went to my doctor. He gave me some sleeping pills, which were intended to make me fall asleep on command, hence teaching my body to fall asleep at a specific time even after not taking the pills anymore. I took the first one and then the room started to spin and I got attacked by a serious case of nausea. This feeling of close to vomiting kept me awake until the pill wore off and I could sleep... around sunrise. That's the only time I ever took a sleeping pill.

Nice video btw. What it says actually gets the job done and helps sleeping, but I already knew all the tips from other sources.

And just when I was about to consider asking for sleep meds. :michiru: Well... maybe. My doctor hasn't failed me yet!

Yeah, I learned just about everything from my sleep therapist, but she was telling me to stay out of bed until I'm sleepy, whereas Dr. Mike suggested staying out of bed for 15 minutes. I'm gonna try his method since my sleep therapist's method doesn't help me to stay asleep. I think another reason I'm waking up is the pain in my lower back, which I'm trying trying to resolve by taking more frequent breaks from my desk and moving around more often. I should probably also start using a pillow or something since my chair is not holding itself upward very well anymore (it leans back a little bit). I'm still trying to find a good sleep wedge for better support on my back while resting too, but it's hard to find one for a full-sized mattress since bed wedge manufacturers apparently only make them for twin, queen, and king. With twin being too narrow for any back sleeper to rest comfortably and queen being too wide to fit my bed, I might just have to buy a queen and have a tailor cut it shorter.

18 hours ago, 1P1A said:

Try the Pomodoro Technique, it works pretty well. You can always tweak it if you find 25 minutes is too little or too much.

Huh, I've never heard of that before. I was doing something similar up until now, but I didn't follow that particular break format. Thanks for the tip!

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Confession : i feel better.

I said a lot of times here that i don't feel bad, that i may need some help and alll...i think now that i feel better, like really, i have finally accepted myself, and can now fully live my life.

Thanks guys, i know i was annoying, and prolly am still annoying, i am aware of that, and i'm working on that really hard, i just hope i can still get along with everyone, even with all my fuck ups, because in the end, i'm just a poor boy who wants to get along with everyone. 

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1 hour ago, Kurisu-Chan said:

Confession : i feel better.

I said a lot of times here that i don't feel bad, that i may need some help and alll...i think now that i feel better, like really, i have finally accepted myself, and can now fully live my life.

Thanks guys, i know i was annoying, and prolly am still annoying, i am aware of that, and i'm working on that really hard, i just hope i can still get along with everyone, even with all my fuck ups, because in the end, i'm just a poor boy who wants to get along with everyone. 

From our limited interactions I have yet to find anything annoying about you, but I'm still glad you're doing better mate. Our minds can be our biggest enemies sometimes, I hope the peace treaty you made with yours will last. :)

Edited by Plk_Lesiak
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1 hour ago, Plk_Lesiak said:

From our limited interactions I have yet to find anything annoying about you, but I'm still glad you're doing better mate. Our minds can be our biggest enemies sometimes, I hope the peace treaty you made with yours will last. :)

Yep, as one said : my biggest foe is thyself.

Well, now i just want to share positivity and share whatever the hell i like, because i like a shitton of things. 

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11 hours ago, Kurisu-Chan said:

Confession : i feel better.

I said a lot of times here that i don't feel bad, that i may need some help and alll...i think now that i feel better, like really, i have finally accepted myself, and can now fully live my life.

Thanks guys, i know i was annoying, and prolly am still annoying, i am aware of that, and i'm working on that really hard, i just hope i can still get along with everyone, even with all my fuck ups, because in the end, i'm just a poor boy who wants to get along with everyone. 

That's great, I'm happy to hear that! I've been in a surprisingly great mood myself today, which is both rare and somewhat off-putting, but pleasant nonetheless.

And don't beat yourself up too hard; you're not nearly as annoying as you think you are. In fact, you're really not annoying at all. :)
And if you ever feel the need to post about your frustrations, just know you have my blessing. Seriously, it's actually pretty therapeutic in a way.

8 hours ago, Kurisu-Chan said:

Yep, as one said : my biggest foe is thyself.

Yeah, that's been the key focus of my anxiety therapy. You can do as much as you can with your body's chemistry to minimize anxiety levels, but your mind is still the primary barrier to improving psychologically. The one thing I've observed from every therapist I've worked with is the push to combat negative thinking, which hasn't always been easy for me. When you've been brought up in a difficult family and raised to doubt every single one of your actions, it's hard to just turn that upside down and combat them with positive thinking.

But see, I think I might've finally made something of a breakthrough. So after countless failed attempts to cope with the many difficulties I've been having to deal with lately, my therapist came up with a solution that I think I can work reasonably well with. Up until now, we've mostly been discussing my lifestyle and what I can do to make it more structured so that I can get a better handle on stress, but that has been completely impossible for me due to a certain lack of resources, my grandma being impossible to reason with, and my severe lack of ambition. So instead of helping me to plan for things that I can only make work in an ideal situation, she decided to shift that focus to my mentality when coping.

In the middle of our last session, I went into a little more depth on what my thoughts are during times of stress, and from those talks, we both came to the conclusion that I'm way too hard on myself. This is due in part to the amount of pressure I've had put on me by my father, and pushed to extremes during while I was in the Army. Whenever I make any kind of mistake, or something doesn't go as intended, I have it in my head that I am a miserable failure who will never be able to function well in society. When I get into that kind of state, it's difficult to just tell myself to "think positively" as my previous therapists have suggested to me. But here's the thing, that message is far too broad for me to use effectively, and I just can't bring myself to reason with my emotions since I can't pinpoint the thought I need during a moment of panic. Well, thanks to my therapist, I've been mulling over my anxieties and trying to come up with something specific I can use before things start to heat up, and I think I managed to come up with something! At first, I was taking a swing with "I'm doing the best I can" that my therapist provided to me as a something to center my thoughts on, but I found something that better resonates with me. Now, whenever I start to get hung up over my failures, I tell myself "I'm better today than I was yesterday" (not to be taken literally). That thought helps bring to focus all the things I've been able to accomplish and how they outweigh all the bad stuff. Not to say I couldn't have used those thoughts before, but it was difficult to get myself in that frame of mind without a proper trigger. And now that I've found my trigger phrase, I feel I can finally make reasonable progress towards a better coping system.

Granted, I still haven't achieved an ideal system just yet, but I do think I've at least made some headway for getting myself out of this cycle.

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