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Fuwanovel Confessions


OriginalRen

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11 hours ago, Templarseeker said:

Hahahah! A miracle took place this morning! After filing a complain to the our College Dean regarding my predicament of being unable to enroll this semester and some backings from my father with support of my classmates.

That's good to hear. I'm happy for ya. :)

11 hours ago, Templarseeker said:

I guess despite how crazy the world is, there's still some semblance of hope for me...

How does Ghandi's saying go now? "You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty."
There are still a lot of good people in the world.

11 hours ago, Templarseeker said:

Real Life issues is taking a toll on me.... So much wonderful PC games and Visual Novels/Hentai/Eroge/Anime to watch/play/read... So little time.... How I desire to achieve financial freedom so that I won't have to be worried regarding mundane issues... :amane:

Ya know, I'm beginning to think that even financial freedom (in the short term I mean) won't do much to help resolve issues like this. Apparently it takes a lot of hard word, planning, and commitment to achieve a comfortable lifestyle, so you may very well find yourself stuck in this kind of rut until retirement.

But it's not all doom and gloom; I have come across several strategies to make life a little less unbearable through various self improvement techniques. One of the more promising guides I've come across recently is the Tamed Course on Improvement Pill's Youtube channel. His videos are packed with insightful details on personal development, and he's really good about backing up his ideas with hard science.
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLE_vQWWxgaiH1Xcri6_WJDZnC_XezkyAO

The only thing I disagree with him on is that silly NoFap or NNN nonsense that's been going around lately. Granted, he is the first sane person I've come across who buys into something like this, but I still don't. He even admits in his own video that there's not much science to go off of, and his evidence is purely anecdotal.

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17 minutes ago, Kenshin_sama said:

The only thing I disagree with him on is that silly NoFap or NNN nonsense that's been going around lately. Granted, he is the first sane person I've come across who buys into something like this, but I still don't. He even admits in his own video that there's not much science to go off of, and his evidence is purely anecdotal.

No Nut November is bullshit, Destroy Dick December is the real shit

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On 1/15/2019 at 10:50 AM, Kenshin_sama said:

Ya know, I'm beginning to think that even financial freedom (in the short term I mean) won't do much to help resolve issues like this. Apparently it takes a lot of hard word, planning, and commitment to achieve a comfortable lifestyle, so you may very well find yourself stuck in this kind of rut until retirement.

But it's not all doom and gloom; I have come across several strategies to make life a little less unbearable through various self improvement techniques. One of the more promising guides I've come across recently is the Tamed Course on Improvement Pill's Youtube channel. His videos are packed with insightful details on personal development, and he's really good about backing up his ideas with hard science.
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLE_vQWWxgaiH1Xcri6_WJDZnC_XezkyAO

The only thing I disagree with him on is that silly NoFap or NNN nonsense that's been going around lately. Granted, he is the first sane person I've come across who buys into something like this, but I still don't. He even admits in his own video that there's not much science to go off of, and his evidence is purely anecdotal.

Hmm... I'm been watching some of Improvement Pill's Videos a while back and also read some of his book recommendations. That's where I first heard the Power of Habit Book although I still wasn't able to finish it at the moment. Yes his videos seems reasonable and believable, much more better than the infamous school of life videos. I also heard from somewhere that if life is getting harder, it means you're leveling up in the game of life or something along those lines. :wafuu:

I've just read a couple of Personal Development/Self Help Books and this is what I get wow! :leecher:

Anyways It's not over yet for me and life's still expecting something out of me and intend on fighting until the end of my days... 

Thank you so much for the concern and support! Pretty much appreciate it!:sachi:

 

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  • 3 weeks later...

Confession: I had some really weird moments of anxiety and mood swings during the last 10 days or so, and apart from the emotional distress from watching Kizumonogatari (:P) and some (usual) personal issues, I have a strong impression that it's withdrawal symptoms from my video game addiction getting to me. I was already limiting my time spent with non-VN video games for the last years and a half, but always made exceptions and suffered from occasional relapses, spending every free moment on something like a Total War game for a few days, until I got frustrated with myself and got rid of that particular time-sink (only to find another one a few days/weeks later). While games stopped being my main activity outside of school/work, as they've been for the previous ~15 years, they were still my main getaway whenever I felt tired or anxious. Now that this option was effectively removed, my anxiety is through the roof. Whenever I thought about this whole issue today, or generally had nothing concrete to keep my mind busy, I felt like something was gnawing on my insides and I feel pretty much the same tension while writing this post.

I still have circa three weeks before a new semester of my Japanese lessons starts and I have a bit more stuff on my mind (and schedule). These are going to be some very "interesting" weeks, I feel... But, if I stay true to my resolution of not playing anything that's not a VN during this break, I'll at least have a good impression of whether this anxiety is ever going to get smaller/disappear. :nico:

Edited by Plk_Lesiak
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8 hours ago, Plk_Lesiak said:

Confession: I had some really weird moments of anxiety and mood swings during the last 10 days or so, and apart from the emotional distress from watching Kizumonogatari (:P) and some (usual) personal issues, I have a strong impression that it's withdrawal symptoms from my video game addiction getting to me. I was already limiting my time spent with non-VN video games for the last years and a half, but always made exceptions and suffered from occasional relapses, spending every free moment on something like a Total War game for a few days, until I got frustrated with myself and got rid of that particular time-sink (only to find another one a few days/weeks later). While games stopped being my main activity outside of school/work, as they've been for the previous ~15 years, they were still my main getaway whenever I felt tired or anxious. Now that this option was effectively removed, my anxiety is through the roof. Whenever I thought about this whole issue today, or generally had nothing concrete to keep my mind busy, I felt like something was gnawing on my insides and I feel pretty much the same tension while writing this post.

I still have circa three weeks before a new semester of my Japanese lessons starts and I have a bit more stuff on my mind (and schedule). These are going to be some very "interesting" weeks, I feel... But, if I stay true to my resolution of not playing anything that's not a VN during this break, I'll at least have a good impression of whether this anxiety is ever going to get smaller/disappear. :nico:

What would you say is the extent of your addiction? Are you sure games aren't just something you use to cope? I once thought I had an addiction to video games, but my therapist told me otherwise. Basically, if you play to the point where you can't pull yourself off for absolutely anything, then video games are addicting. It's very easy to confuse the subject because people who use escapism as a coping mechanism tend to stress about practically everything. Since this state of being can occur frequently, it makes sense that you'd regularly turn to your source of escape in order to find your release (especially if it's something as easily accessible as a video game).

If it is an addiction, then there's not much I can help you with there. You may want to consult a mental health specialist about your problem since quitting cold turkey might not necessarily be the right approach here (that usually only works for alcoholism).

If not, then you should be fine to play games for as long as you need to. However, if you want to address the underlying issues that come with your anxiety, it might be worth investing your time on personal improvement. I suggest starting off with something small and manageable like going on a 15-minute walk or cleaning your room every day, and then just continuously build on those habits with even more productive habits. I've been experimenting with self improvement techniques quite a lot last year, and I've even managed a few major breakthroughs in the past month. My anxiety is nowhere near as bad as it used to be, either.

Edit: Oh, and make sure that whatever habit you pick up is something you start as soon as you wake up. It gets a lot harder to go through with it as the day goes on (your willpower is at its peak in the morning). Make sure you wake up early enough to do it, too.

Edited by Kenshin_sama
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Confession: I've come to the conclusion, that some of the people and institutions running this world.......

ARE BEYOND BAT SHIT INSANE AND PURE EVIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

......... and if it wasn't for the fact that people are (hopefully) waking up, and these demonic rulers will fall from power within a few years, I'd seriously be tearing my hair out right about now.

Seriously, don't even get me started.....

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6 hours ago, Kenshin_sama said:

What would you say is the extent of your addiction? Are you sure games aren't just something you use to cope? I once thought I had an addiction to video games, but my therapist told me otherwise. Basically, if you play to the point where you can't pull yourself off for absolutely anything, then video games are addicting. It's very easy to confuse the subject because people who use escapism as a coping mechanism tend to stress about practically everything. Since this state of being can occur frequently, it makes sense that you'd regularly turn to your source of escape in order to find your release (especially if it's something as easily accessible as a video game).

If it is an addiction, then there's not much I can help you with there. You may want to consult a mental health specialist about your problem since quitting cold turkey might not necessarily be the right approach here (that usually only works for alcoholism).

If not, then you should be fine to play games for as long as you need to. However, if you want to address the underlying issues that come with your anxiety, it might be worth investing your time on personal improvement. I suggest starting off with something small and manageable like going on a 15-minute walk or cleaning your room every day, and then just continuously build on those habits with even more productive habits. I've been experimenting with self improvement techniques quite a lot last year, and I've even managed a few major breakthroughs in the past month. My anxiety is nowhere near as bad as it used to be, either.

Edit: Oh, and make sure that whatever habit you pick up is something you start as soon as you wake up. It gets a lot harder to go through with it as the day goes on (your willpower is at its peak in the morning). Make sure you wake up early enough to do it, too.

I don't know, I find those claims about the willpower being the strongest in the morning questionably applicable to myself. Unless you count the first hour before I end eating breakfast, but I rather can't use it for much other than cleaning myself up and preparing some food. After that, I deflate like a balloon and usually only regain some energy in the evening. :D

Seriously speaking though, games definitely were a coping mechanism for me to some extent, but also my anxiety issues really started being a thing no earlier than by the end of High School and I was burning every available moment on video games for many years by that point. Sure, I never totally lost control, but to call it unhealthy is an understatement. I've also spent last year and a half slowly modifying my habits (for example, for 6+ months now I'm working out every day), so it's not something I did out of the blue. It was a long process, in which I simply took another step. Definitely, my general anxiety needs addressing... But I guess I'd need money to do something about that? Can't say I have any nowadays... '^^

And I'm obviously not a specialist and I might be "overselling" my habits with video games as addiction, but the line between the two is always blurry and despite always being a somewhat-functioning human being, I know how little control I had over this. A moment ago I made a brief search over the internet and found an article with 4 "warning" questions:

"Carefully consider these questions regarding your drug or alcohol use:

  1. Is your behavior having a negative impact, directly or indirectly, on your life?
  2. Are you repeatedly putting yourself in risky situations?
  3. When you stop drinking or using for any length of time, do you experience withdrawal symptoms like anxiety or stress?
  4. Have you taken steps to hide your behavior or have you repeatedly, but unsuccessfully, tried to stop drinking or using on your own?"

It's about drugs and alcohol, but I don't think it matters that much. For me, the answer is clear 4x yes. And it's about time I do something about it. :>

11 minutes ago, r0xm2n said:

Confession: I've come to the conclusion, that some of the people and institutions running this world.......

ARE BEYOND BAT SHIT INSANE AND PURE EVIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

......... and if it wasn't for the fact that people are (hopefully) waking up, and these demonic rulers will fall from power within a few years, I'd seriously be tearing my hair out right about now.

Seriously, don't even get me started.....

 

And they'll be replaced with another bunch of manipulative, greedy assholes. I strongly advice believing in people (as individuals), but not putting any faith in humanity. After Brexit and Trump being elected, I was taught that cynical resignation is much easier to live with than having your hopes crushed repeatedly by how mankind's lowest instincts always win in the end. We're going to destroy this planet and go extinct in a few centuries anyways (or maybe even sooner), so there's not much reason to care. :nico:

Edited by Plk_Lesiak
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6 hours ago, r0xm2n said:

Confession: I've come to the conclusion, that some of the people and institutions running this world.......

ARE BEYOND BAT SHIT INSANE AND PURE EVIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

......... and if it wasn't for the fact that people are (hopefully) waking up, and these demonic rulers will fall from power within a few years, I'd seriously be tearing my hair out right about now.

Seriously, don't even get me started.....

There's no such thing as black and white, there's always a grey area. If you knew the truth of the world. You'll better off not giving a damn regarding the state of what our world is or anything related to it and instead prioritize on making your life and the people that you care about better or pursuing something that might grant you happiness... 

Evil is a very interesting word or concept to ponder, Stalin slaughtered tons of people compared to Hitler and yet Hitler is labeled as one of the most villainous person at the end of World War II or the entire world... The United States war on terror in the middle east is something to be proud, and yet when Putin's Russia military interventions in Ukraine and Georgia as an act of tyranny and unjust by the international community... 

The world is indeed full of crazy people busy screwing out each other, name-calling who's evil this and his a tyrant that whenever it's convenient for them. 

It's much better to devise a way in overlooking these so called "Evils" of this world and adapt a hobby which is creative enough either playing high end video games like the visual novels that we highly esteemed people of Fuwanovel reads/plays or other thought provoking games like Planescapes Torment etc. :mare:

Do creative writing or painting or drawing is also a nice option!  

And also my last advice, please don't read newspaper that often or watch the daily news since it will only stress you out. Just watch/read them when its urgent. Believe me you'll be a much happier person in general if you don't worry about every single thing that's taking place around us... 

Edited by Templarseeker
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On 2/1/2019 at 4:18 AM, Plk_Lesiak said:

I don't know, I find those claims about the willpower being the strongest in the morning questionably applicable to myself.

Ya know, I'm glad you said that. I never thought to question this idea before since it was a convenient way to justify my burnout, but it turns out the conventional willpower science I'd put so much faith in is a load of bullcrap! Granted, it's still really easy for me to get burnt out while studying, but that's probably due to my sleep issues (which I have a plan to fix soon!).

On 2/1/2019 at 4:18 AM, Plk_Lesiak said:

And I'm obviously not a specialist and I might be "overselling" my habits with video games as addiction, but the line between the two is always blurry and despite always being a somewhat-functioning human being, I know how little control I had over this.

See, this is why you need to be careful calling it an addiction. I'm not a specialist, so I really can't tell you for sure if it's addiction or not (it really is hard to be certain), but if you can think of it as something other than an addiction, you will have so much more control over it. Thoughts are powerful.

 

On 1/31/2019 at 1:05 PM, Plk_Lesiak said:

I was already limiting my time spent with non-VN video games for the last years and a half

On 2/1/2019 at 4:18 AM, Plk_Lesiak said:

I've also spent last year and a half slowly modifying my habits (for example, for 6+ months now I'm working out every day)

With these two statements here, I'm 60% positive you don't have an addiction. My therapist explained that when you can actively restrict the time you spend on something, it's not an addiction. At least that was the case for me. If it was an addiction, you likely would not have been able to exercise on a daily basis.

 

On 2/1/2019 at 4:18 AM, Plk_Lesiak said:
  • Is your behavior having a negative impact, directly or indirectly, on your life?
  • Are you repeatedly putting yourself in risky situations?
  • When you stop drinking or using for any length of time, do you experience withdrawal symptoms like anxiety or stress?
  • Have you taken steps to hide your behavior or have you repeatedly, but unsuccessfully, tried to stop drinking or using on your own?"

What kind of risky situations are you putting yourself in!? :michiru:

Other than the second one, these questions are really broad, and there could be several other underlying factors coming into play and affecting your mood. The last two are probably the most misleading to the untrained mind. The reason you might be feeling anxious when you stop gaming is because you've lost your escape, which means you are now in a situation where you have to acknowledge your worries.

Do keep in mind is that these are warning signs. It does not necessarily mean you have addiction. Granted, it's definitely worth bringing up to a specialist so he/she can properly diagnose you, but it's not a surefire thing until they do. And if hiring a professional is not a possibility for you (consider moving to Canada?), then I think it's better to err on the side that makes you think more positively. Also, it might be worth noting that the rate of addiction among gamers is somewhere between 0.6-6%.

Consider reading this article on Psychology Today about the misconceptions of gaming addiction. It may give you better insight into what it actually is, and what you can do to counteract your predicament. Btw, this site can be a great alternative to therapy if you don't have access to one (although definitely not as advantageous). There were a few occasions where I've been corrected by my therapist for getting the wrong idea from one of their articles, so be careful how you interpret them if you ever plan to use them as a means of self treatment.

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19 hours ago, Kenshin_sama said:

Ya know, I'm glad you said that. I never thought to question this idea before since it was a convenient way to justify my burnout, but it turns out the conventional willpower science I'd put so much faith in is a load of bullcrap! Granted, it's still really easy for me to get burnt out while studying, but that's probably due to my sleep issues (which I have a plan to fix soon!).

I can contribute with my personal experience:

I find it easier to do stuff I have to do I'd rather not immediately after waking up. I usually attribute this to being too tired to care. And since once I get started it's easier to keep going, this works reasonably. As such, what tends to happen is that I take a nap until I can't sleep anymore, and then go do whatever needs to be done.

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4 minutes ago, Mr Poltroon said:

I can contribute with my personal experience:

I find it easier to do stuff I have to do I'd rather not immediately after waking up. I usually attribute this to being too tired to care. And since once I get started it's easier to keep going, this works reasonably. As such, what tends to happen is that I take a nap until I can't sleep anymore, and then go do whatever needs to be done.

Hmm, I should probably rephrase that. Better to say I start off my day exercising so I can wake myself up before moving on to some of the more strenuous tasks like doing homework.

Although if you're getting the right kind of sleep, you shouldn't be waking up tired.

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Just now, Kenshin_sama said:

Although if you're getting the right kind of sleep, you shouldn't be waking up tired.

Well, in this case it's just excessive sleep. I wake up after a nap three or four times, perfectly comfortable, not tired, and, as such, don't feel like working. So, I fall asleep again until I reach the point where I can't sleep any more, a point in which I feel 'tired'.

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13 minutes ago, Mr Poltroon said:

Well, in this case it's just excessive sleep. I wake up after a nap three or four times, perfectly comfortable, not tired, and, as such, don't feel like working. So, I fall asleep again until I reach the point where I can't sleep any more, a point in which I feel 'tired'.

Remember the conversation we had a while back regarding sleep? At the time, I was unaware of the tiredness you're describing, so I'm now even more inclined to believe that you could benefit from proper sleep techniques. :)

Well, I've kinda lost the paper I was referencing at the time I made that post, but I did find a video guide that basically covers the same strategies if you need a refresher.

His information on naps is a little dated though. Naps used to be considered unhealthy, but now sleep science is saying that it's beneficial to take an afternoon nap. You will, however, need to take that nap on a daily basis and keep it within 10-30 minutes to get any kind of benefit.

Edited by Kenshin_sama
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Pardon me if I disagree. I have no problems with any kind with sleeping. Anybody I talk to about this agrees with me that sleeping too much makes you tired, and this is simply a case of that. If I fall asleep at around 23, as is usual when I'm in a routine, then sleeping till noon will make me tired (I usually sleep until 8 or 9). It's the same when I try to take 3, 4, or 5 hour naps whilst having slept properly that day. Those obviously numb me. If I keep the amount of time I sleep reasonable, then I won't feel tired.

It's those kinds of long naps that I am referring to, and whilst I refer to it as 'tired', it is only because I know of no better term. 'Numb' likely works best, and being numb I can easily convince myself to do whatever until I wake up properly ten or twenty minutes later.

I am sure there are many ways in which I am unhealthy, but sleep is not one of them, aside from napping for hours because I'm bored and procrastinating.

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34 minutes ago, Mr Poltroon said:

Pardon me if I disagree. I have no problems with any kind with sleeping. Anybody I talk to about this agrees with me that sleeping too much makes you tired, and this is simply a case of that. If I fall asleep at around 23, as is usual when I'm in a routine, then sleeping till noon will make me tired (I usually sleep until 8 or 9). It's the same when I try to take 3, 4, or 5 hour naps whilst having slept properly that day. Those obviously numb me. If I keep the amount of time I sleep reasonable, then I won't feel tired.

It's those kinds of long naps that I am referring to, and whilst I refer to it as 'tired', it is only because I know of no better term. 'Numb' likely works best, and being numb I can easily convince myself to do whatever until I wake up properly ten or twenty minutes later.

I am sure there are many ways in which I am unhealthy, but sleep is not one of them, aside from napping for hours because I'm bored and procrastinating.

What did your doctor have to say about it?

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Just now, Kenshin_sama said:

What did your doctor have to say about it?

You might have noticed from my tone that I do not consider my sleeping habits to be of any concern. That said, I don't consider much at all to be of concern. I am certainly not visiting the doctor due to any particular problems, as I don't think or notice that I have any, or at least, that I have any that I consider negative.
My main worries are things on my immediate future which I tackle one by one, such as my next University exam. In short, I am quite satisfied and have no real problems that I'm aware of.

This question actually surprises me a fair bit. It makes me think that we're working on different assumptions or that our common sense differs. I or anybody in my family only visit the doctor when we're feeling sick or for a routine check. Going to a doctor specifically because of my sleeping habits, which I consider perfectly normal, or healthier than a lot of friends who are somehow able to survive of 5 hours of sleep (what??), is simply unthinkable. Much the same way, it's not something I'd mention to a doctor even if I went to one for whatever other reason.

 

Speaking of health, though. I really should go to a dentist. I'm sure my teeth are bound to be screwed up with how long I haven't gone there.

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Just now, Mr Poltroon said:

You might have noticed from my tone that I do not consider my sleeping habits to be of any concern.

I bring this up because too much sleep can be just as harmful as too little. The average human being sleeps between 7-9 hours. If you do sleep on the further end of the 8-9 spectrum from 23, that's 10 hours. Those issues are further compounded when you take an extra 3-5 hours to nap.

Also, you may not want to base your opinions on common sense when it comes to sleep since most people have the wrong idea. :vinty:

At the very least, it should warrant a conversation.

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Just now, Kenshin_sama said:

I bring this up because too much sleep can be just as harmful as too little. The average human being sleeps between 7-9 hours. If you do sleep on the further end of the 8-9 spectrum from 23, that's 10 hours. Those issues are further compounded when you take an extra 3-5 hours to nap.

Also, you may not want to base your opinions on common sense when it comes to sleep since most people have the wrong idea. :vinty:

At the very least, it should warrant a conversation.

Ah, I see where your concern lies. Do not worry. When I say 23, I am referring to the entire hour (as when I go to bed and when I fall asleep are distinct), meaning I may well fall asleep close to midnight, but when I say 9, it's definitely early 9 at the latest.
As for the napping, those are on rare occasions: much more likely if I slept less due to having business in the early morning, and most certainly induced by me as a strange form of procrastinating. Napping is certainly much more appealing than working on the things I should be doing.

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Looks like I'm back to figurine collecting :nico: But no, not the cool (and expensive) anime figurines - I mean dinosaur figurines. Yes, really. I'm regressing back to my 8-year-old self, Lord have mercy... Damn you, YT science channels, for re-sparking my interest in paleontology! >:(

I can't help it, they're so cool... ;v;

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41 minutes ago, Alcorin said:

Looks like I'm back to figurine collecting :nico: But no, not the cool (and expensive) anime figurines - I mean dinosaur figurines. Yes, really. I'm regressing back to my 8-year-old self, Lord have mercy... Damn you, YT science channels, for re-sparking my interest in paleontology! >:(

I can't help it, they're so cool... ;v;

We need photographic evidence supporting your claim. Otherwise, we can't verify the coolness of your collection, and that's just unacceptable for this kind of post. :reeee:

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1 minute ago, Plk_Lesiak said:

We need photographic evidence supporting your claim. Otherwise, we can't verify the coolness of your collection, and that's just unacceptable for this kind of post. :reeee:

I'm afraid that it's not a collection just yet, as I have literally only two dinos at my hands right now ;w;  Maybe when I get to my family house on the weekend I'll find some of my old stuff to bring back, tho :wahaha: If it didn't get thrown away, of course. My parents never liked dinos much. Right now the only thing I can show you are those Ramphorynhus and Coelophysis I've bought today:

Spoiler

esr0npA.jpg

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

Confession: I don't know how this thread went from confessions about Japanese shit (as stated in the original post) to confessions about real life shit. is this what op intended

on that note

Confession #2: I think people have the right to suicide as part of the right to privately maintain their own bodies

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On 2/15/2019 at 7:29 PM, nihilloligasan said:

Confession: I don't know how this thread went from confessions about Japanese shit (as stated in the original post) to confessions about real life shit. is this what op intended

It's not nearly as bad as the Unlimited Chat Works thread. :wahaha:

But yeah, we did kinda hijack the confessions thread, and I do remember OriginalRen getting a little fussy about it too. Oh well, that's just how it goes. The Coliseum of Chatter is a very unforgiving place.

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