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Fuwanovel Confessions


OriginalRen

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Ya, I'm fine now, ty all :3

That day was the just the worst.

First, I had to wake up at 6 AM to go do inventory at a Lowes at 7am. Manager estimated us to be done by 12PM-ish. 1 latest. But he didn't factor in that half of our crew are newbies 'cos all the vets quit already so now I'm technically the new vet and was assigned the legendary screws section
So the count went on and on gg me I counted well over 50,000 bolts and screws, all weighed by scale, and wtf it's 4PM, what kinda part time job is this, I don't know what time they actually finished, cuz I had to leave at 4:30 to go home and then get ready for school.

Go to school at 6. POWER OUTTAGE. Complete darkness. What is this, Africa? After 30 minutes they decided to send out an official campus closed message. Yippee, we all get to go home, that's good right?

Cue the traffic and my overheating car. Fk everything.

By the time me and my dad were able to regroup, find a replacement hose at a local AutoZone (thank god they open until 9PM) and make the swap, we were home by 9:30PM ish.

Eat some dinner, do some homework, write up some PINK SAGA chapter 2, then boot up Lucy ~The Eternity she wished for~ and complain 1fJTPym.jpg (1600×900)


~~
Life is good :sachi: 

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Confession: I'm not feeling the same connection I used to feel to Fuwa. Everything just... seems pale, somehow. People I would consider friends are still here, but it's just that... there's nothing here anymore.

 

Nothing anywhere else either. No music or book has really touched me in a long time (games did though, Persona 4 Golden is now my third favorite game). School's going about the worst way possible academically. I was supposed to leave all my electronic devices and whatnot in the living room because I can't fucking study when they're around, yet here I am on the internet with two essays, one report and an English exam in the next two days left completely undone. Good job, me.

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1 minute ago, Funyarinpa said:

Confession: I'm not feeling the same connection I used to feel to Fuwa. Everything just... seems pale, somehow. People I would consider friends are still here, but it's just that... there's nothing here anymore.

 

Nothing anywhere else either. No music or book has really touched me in a long time (games did though, Persona 4 Golden is now my third favorite game). School's going about the worst way possible academically. I was supposed to leave all my electronic devices and whatnot in the living room because I can't fucking study when they're around, yet here I am on the internet with two essays, one report and an English exam in the next two days left completely undone. Good job, me.

That's sad to hear.

Thos kind of seem like the early symptoms of depression, so keep an eye out for that.

Hang in there

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7 minutes ago, Funyarinpa said:

Confession: I'm not feeling the same connection I used to feel to Fuwa. Everything just... seems pale, somehow. People I would consider friends are still here, but it's just that... there's nothing here anymore.

 

Nothing anywhere else either. No music or book has really touched me in a long time (games did though, Persona 4 Golden is now my third favorite game). School's going about the worst way possible academically. I was supposed to leave all my electronic devices and whatnot in the living room because I can't fucking study when they're around, yet here I am on the internet with two essays, one report and an English exam in the next two days left completely undone. Good job, me.

Depression is a pain in the ass. It really is. Just know that there will be moments where you'll make a complete turn-around and feel great for a little while. Depression is kind weird, in that it sometimes likes to go on vacation. During that temporary period of motivation, try to do as much as you can to improve certain aspects of your life.

http://www.upworthy.com/a-comic-that-accurately-sums-up-depression-and-anxiety-and-the-uphill-battle-of-living-with-them

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9 minutes ago, Arcadeotic said:

That's sad to hear.

Thos kind of seem like the early symptoms of depression, so keep an eye out for that.

Hang in there

Life's too good for me to be able to call it depression (loving family and friends, good health, I'm rich). Also I go to a counselor who is also a certified psychotherapist so I'm pretty sure he would've noticed if I had depression, seeing as I've been visiting on and off since, like, May.

Also I laugh and smile a lot during daily life, like when I'm bantering with friends about games'n shit. I doubt depression would just appear once I tried to do homework.

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Just now, Arcadeotic said:

Oh, so it's just lack of motivation then?

I guess. The thing is, I am (or should be) aware by now that all I am doing is for my own future, no one is forcing me, and that organization and diligence are traits I need in adult life no matter what. If that isn't enough motivation then what is?

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5 minutes ago, Funyarinpa said:

Life's too good for me to be able to call it depression (loving family and friends, good health, I'm rich). Also I go to a counselor who is also a certified psychotherapist so I'm pretty sure he would've noticed if I had depression, seeing as I've been visiting on and off since, like, May.

Also I laugh and smile a lot during daily life, like when I'm bantering with friends about games'n shit. I doubt depression would just appear once I tried to do homework.

Hey, I might be wrong, and it could very well be general laziness, but that doesn't explain your lack of enjoyment from things that use to make you happy. You've also expressed certain strong feelings that can't be easily dismissed either.

About your therapist, do you tell him the same things you tell us in this thread? Any individual in any kind of analysis field won't be able to tell if there's something wrong with you if you're not giving the full story. If you haven't done so yet, I'd highly encourage you to ask your therapist if you're going through depression. That way he can ask some clarifying questions and make a better analysis of your situation. And before your ask him, do a little bit of research on depression so you can explain your situations to him a little better.

Contrary to what you might think, you actually can be happy while you're depressed. I'm the same way when I talk with most of my friends about stuff. The thing is, it is not normal to be in any kind of despair, because life really isn't that bad. When I was at a younger age, I had a certain sense of urgency when it came to studying, and I was always proactive in extracurriculars (even when I didn't have to be). I was on the fast track to success until I hit a speed bump. It wasn't until after I experienced what I did in the Army that I started losing motivation and my sense of self.

I remember you saying how you use to excel in your studies before your parents stopped helping you. And they were right in doing so; by the time you get to high school, you should be mature enough to do things on your own. It's not an unusual idea at all. If you're failing now, it's not because your parents stopped helping you, and it might not even be your fault. There's a good chance that something else is barring you from progress.

I found a thread started by a guy with a similar situation to yours. Give it a read. There are some insightful comments here that should help to improve your judgment on this.
https://www.reddit.com/r/depression/comments/24loeh/part_of_me_thinks_im_depressed_part_of_me_thinks/

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Hopefully the rain washed off all the birdpoop on my car ._.

@Fun whatever you do, just don't bomb your classes because you didn't do the work. If you can swing it, try getting a part time job or something, it really made my work ethic/ sense of responsibility skyrocket back when I was in HS

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Confession: Our neighbor's kitty left us a dead rat outside of our house.  She likes us  :kosame:

10 minutes ago, Fred the Barber said:

Confession: I really was going to go outside today, but as I was walking to the door, I saw it was raining kind of hard. Maybe tomorrow. :amane:

Ahh, yeah, I had that yesterday.  Had to go to work in the rain and everything.  Enjoy~

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1 hour ago, Eclipsed said:

@Fun whatever you do, just don't bomb your classes because you didn't do the work. If you can swing it, try getting a part time job or something, it really made my work ethic/ sense of responsibility skyrocket back when I was in HS

No fucking way

Interesting idea but impossible

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