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The war against Depression.


Clephas

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I personally suffer from depression as well as an anxiety disorder.  Its started in 6th grade where I began to miss school because of an irrational fear of being ridiculed, I managed to make it thorugh middle school and my first year of high school without missing too many days.  Once I reached sophmore year I began to miss more and more each day spent under the covers shaking and crying, it reached a point where my doctor and the teachers said it would be more money efficent and better for my mental health if I took a year off.  Soon that year ended and a new one began and I was only able to make the first 2 weeks of school before all the questions the other students asked as well as the stress from being in a crowd caused me to shut down again.  Eventually the mere thought of driving by the school made me hyperventilate and pass out.  I was diagnosed with agoraphobia and put on a multitude of diffrent medications.  There were many times where I stood with a knife pointed at my neck just thinking how easy it would be just to end it all.  Even now I still sometimes get the urge to gouge out my heart because of the emotional pain.  Now im sitting in a much better place mentaly, unfortunatly I am still stuck in a position where it is difficult to move forward.  I think the only thing that saved me those many times where I could have taken my life was the emotional support that my family provided.  Anyway that was my boring little story of my life, I figured I would share :mellow:

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Good news guys.

 

Depression is a passing phase. It doesn't last forever. 

 

A lot of us here shy away from the dark, running and screaming whenever it catches up to us.

 

What if I told you depression isn't the monster we make it out to be? 

What if I said to embrace the dark and greet it like you would an old friend - memories which you create are unique to only the two of you - and to cherish those memories like you would your youth which happens to go by faster than a ride at the park. Just like those rides, you wouldn't enjoy it going with eyes covered.

 

You would probably think I'm crazy, and tell me to take my meds. I say, take your meds and all that if you need to but know that every thing will be alright someday. It always is. 

 

(Read: I'm not saying don't get treated. Get treated please; but don't let the feelings destroy you :).)

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Now im sitting in a much better place mentaly, unfortunatly I am still stuck in a position where it is difficult to move forward.  I think the only thing that saved me those many times where I could have taken my life was the emotional support that my family provided.  Anyway that was my boring little story of my life, I figured I would share :mellow:

I'm glad you had the emotional support in such a time. Keep fighting, and don't give up^^ I'm glad you're still here.

 

Good news guys.

 

Depression is a passing phase. It doesn't last forever. 

 

You would probably think I'm crazy, and tell me to take my meds. I say, take your meds and all that if you need to but know that every thing will be alright someday. It always is. 

 

(Read: I'm not saying don't get treated. Get treated please; but don't let the feelings destroy you :).)

Yeah, I do find it true. Time will eventually help you heal. Things may be very painful at the moment, and seems all-consuming and never-ending... but it will get better as time passes.  Then you'll look back, and realize it wasn't as bad as it seemed, and you've become stronger for being able to get past it.  Your mind is a very powerful source, just by changing your thought process to think more positively about things and having hope, you'll start to feel better... every time you think something negative, stop yourself, and try to think about the good things instead.. give yourself a chance.

 

Having been through some dark times myself, I think I can understand. Before, it was stormy, felt like I was stuck in some kind of deep whirlpool.. because I let myself believe there was no way of escaping. But now that I know better, depression for me feels like waves. When it comes, I weather it, but I know it'll soon pass.

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Good news guys.

 

Depression is a passing phase. It doesn't last forever. 

 

A lot of us here shy away from the dark, running and screaming whenever it catches up to us.

 

What if I told you depression isn't the monster we make it out to be? 

What if I said to embrace the dark and greet it like you would an old friend - memories which you create are unique to only the two of you - and to cherish those memories like you would your youth which happens to go by faster than a ride at the park. Just like those rides, you wouldn't enjoy it going with eyes covered.

 

You would probably think I'm crazy, and tell me to take my meds. I say, take your meds and all that if you need to but know that every thing will be alright someday. It always is. 

 

(Read: I'm not saying don't get treated. Get treated please; but don't let the feelings destroy you :).)

Well, I need to disagree. Depression for every person is different and its a fact not every person is able to overcome the brutal battle going on via the mind. Its sad to say, but for some: Depression does last a lifetime.

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I also don't agree that there is a type of depression that lasts a life time. I've heard nurses throw around the "maybes" in clinics, but there hasn't been a case for it even for people who don't seek professional help for it. You may slip in and out of recurring phases of depression but that's not the same as having a lifetime of anything like someone who suffers constantly from Osteoporosis 'till the day they die. Even people diagnosed with Dysthymia have months or years where they come out of their shells. 

 

I'm not saying "Think positive" and you'll be cured. What I'm saying is quite the opposite of battling depression really. If you fight too hard you might burn yourself out and become more pessimistic about it when the results don't match your prayers.

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I also don't agree that there is a type of depression that lasts a life time. I've heard nurses throw around the "maybes" in clinics, but there hasn't been a case for it even for people who don't seek professional help for it. You may slip in and out of recurring phases of depression but that's not the same as having a lifetime of anything like someone who suffers constantly from Osteoporosis 'till the day they die. Even people diagnosed with Dysthymia have months or years where they come out of their shells. 

 

I'm not saying "Think positive" and you'll be cured. What I'm saying is quite the opposite of battling depression really. If you fight too hard you might burn yourself out and become more pessimistic about it when the results don't match what you hope for.

People commit suicide at any age from lingering depression. It may be off and on, but it still lasts through life. Not every story ends happily.

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People commit suicide at any age from lingering depression. It may be off and on, but it still lasts through life. Not every story ends happily.

 

We know that, Niko. There's always a chance of death in life when you walk out that door but you shouldn't walk scared.

 

I also hope people who are diagnosed with depression aren't pessimistic about their life ending in a pool of their own blood in the bathroom. The rate of suicide for uni-polar depression is surprisingly low. The majority of Bipolar suicides don't happen during the depression phase.

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We know that, Niko. There's always a chance of death in life when you walk out that door but you shouldn't walk scared.

 

I also hope people who are diagnosed with depression aren't pessimistic about their life ending in a pool of their own blood in the bathroom. The rate of suicide for uni-polar depression is surprisingly low. The majority of Bipolar suicides don't happen during the depression phase.

Its just sad when one decides to end their life and honestly it is just an easy way out. Someone on myanimelist informed me at the a law should be placed in which anyone 18 or older can come in and commit suicide. Like, a law and system for suicide.

Firstly, won't that just help troubled depressed teens? I'm depressed.. luckily my life will end in 2 years. *sarcasm*.

Just a god awful idea and how dare he call me and others: tyranical.

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I feel like I'm on the League of Legends discussion board trying to get a real conversation in on MAL. The best way to avoid suicide is to avoid engaging with idiots on there. I love the mods there though. They act on my reports with the swiftness - but it's really pointless since everyone likes trolling there. 

 

I feel like a suicide conversation on MAL would go like this,

 

"Please kill yourself to stop wasting air on this planet."

"Weak minded people like you don't deserve to live anyhow."

 

"Would you just hurry up and die already so we can stop reading your spam?"
 

The majority of the replies are coming from young teenagers who have yet hit their first low in life but act as an authority on the subject of life's matters, with 1 or 2 rational individuals stepping in.

 

So yea, don't go to Myanimelist for any advice.

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I also don't agree that there is a type of depression that lasts a life time. I've heard nurses throw around the "maybes" in clinics, but there hasn't been a case for it even for people who don't seek professional help for it. You may slip in and out of recurring phases of depression but that's not the same as having a lifetime of anything like someone who suffers constantly from Osteoporosis 'till the day they die. Even people diagnosed with Dysthymia have months or years where they come out of their shells. 

 

I'm not saying "Think positive" and you'll be cured. What I'm saying is quite the opposite of battling depression really. If you fight too hard you might burn yourself out and become more pessimistic about it when the results don't match your prayers.

-nods, agrees-

 

Well, I need to disagree. Depression for every person is different and its a fact not every person is able to overcome the brutal battle going on via the mind. Its sad to say, but for some: Depression does last a lifetime.

 

People commit suicide at any age from lingering depression. It may be off and on, but it still lasts through life. Not every story ends happily.

 

Yes.. but you can try not to let it consume you. When you give up, it easily takes over and becomes your every waking thought, that's when you can become so tortured that things will get worse and may ultimately end in a bad way.  Just because you have it for the rest of your life doesn't mean you can't live to cope and coexist with it in a more healthy manner.  Need to find and learn a way to cope/deal with the depression and move on the best you can.  

 

I feel like a suicide conversation on MAL would go like this,

 

"Please kill yourself to stop wasting air on this planet."

"Weak minded people like you don't deserve to live anyhow."

 

"Would you just hurry up and die already so we can stop reading your spam?"

 

So yea, don't go to Myanimelist for any advice.

Sounds like all the things my siblings would say xD...

They are ******** anyways, so no need to take those comments seriously.

Some people can be really mean, especially online because they are hiding behind the computer.

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its easy    defeat depression with lot   hobbys   (hardcore gamer expirence)  suicide is greates sin from all  

and for weak  peaple if you have guts you not need reason for life and  its easy to live if you   believe  in  life after death

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Its just sad when one decides to end their life and honestly it is just an easy way out. Someone on myanimelist informed me at the a law should be placed in which anyone 18 or older can come in and commit suicide. Like, a law and system for suicide.

Firstly, won't that just help troubled depressed teens? I'm depressed.. luckily my life will end in 2 years. *sarcasm*.

Just a god awful idea and how dare he call me and others: tyranical.

I'll just mention that I'm of the opinion that people should have the right to end their lives, and having a legal way of doing it that doesn't involve splattering their brains on the wall or pavement would be an improvement. I mean, whether there's a legal way of doing or not, people will still kill themselves one way or the other.

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I'll just mention that I'm of the opinion that people should have the right to end their lives, and having a legal way of doing it that doesn't involve splattering their brains on the wall or pavement would be an improvement. I mean, whether there's a legal way of doing or not, people will still kill themselves one way or the other.

uh, yeah... but that doesn't mean we should help facilitate it >_>;  .. I don't think it'd be an improvement for society as a whole.  If you make something easier, more people will do it and then it'll have a heavier influence.

 

Someone can already kill themselves if they really want to... so Why would you want to Help them do it?  It makes more sense to help them not do it.

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uh, yeah... but that doesn't mean we should help facilitate it >_>;  .. I don't think it'd be an improvement for society as a whole.  If you make something easier, more people will do it and then it'll have a heavier influence.

 

Someone can already kill themselves if they really want to... so Why would you want to Help them do it?  It makes more sense to help them not do it.

I don't mean that it should be as easy as just walking into a building and getting a shot, for example a mandatory two week waiting period during which you can change your mind would deter a lot of people who would have otherwise done it on the spur of the moment. You could also make the person visit a psychiatrist. Imagine if every person who wanted to commit suicide had to see a psychiatrist several times beforehand. That's impossible the way things are right now, but it would be more of a reality if suicide were regulated.

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I for one had my first problem with depression when i was six. at the time my normal vison cut of at one foot anything past that was a blurry mess.as some of you may have guessed i need glasses how ever we did not find that out until a year later.i also have disgraphia and aspergers syndrome.disgraphias effects made it extremely stressful not to mention painful to write.and aspergers syndrome altered my way of thinking and by extension my way of learning making most if not all traditional ways of learning useless.witch in turn made it impossibel to understand what my teachers were trying to teach me.and i could not seek help from others because i hated and still do hate social interaction beyond what is nesisary.plus at the time i was going to a french imershion school witch ment that i needed to do two sets of homework and learn a second language despite not being able to see and despising everyone because of there instints in talking to me about nonessental things also i could not sleep because my body did not produce enough melotonin. as you might expect i became very depressed it even got to the point where i asked my mother to kill me repeatedly.and i hated my father as he would yell over the smallest things.but after almost a year of this i was taken to a optometrist and we descuoverd that i needed glasses.after i got glasses i read voraciously and used it as a way to escape my life.soon after i started to read thru all my classes refused to talk to anyone and rarely left my room.six years later my parents are divorced im home schooled rarely go to bed before 4 am and spend allmost all of my free time in my room on the computer and the only thing keeping my from suicide is my cat  nickola.

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My "story" is just wierd. 

i´ve had social anxiety disorder & panic attacks often,  also constant stress (wich cause my body to pretty much constantly shake,)

since i was a kid. (9 or so)

So as alot of people i was bullied as a kid. and at the same time tried to help the people who had hard times.

(so basicly take on theyr burdens aswell outside my own.) after a few years of taking other peoples problems and not being able to get any help from mine, my depression started.

following a months after my best friend died. and 2 months after that both of my grandfathers died (brain cancer / heart failure.) 

at that moment i broke completly. 

was unable to go out the door without getting a panic attack & the depression was kinda bad i guess.unable to go to classes and so on.

and from there on for years problem after problem started. (without typing an entire book here :) i skip those years.)

tried to get help , the psychiatrist (where i lived )was completly retarded and in the end said that they couldnt help.

asked doctors about it and they gave me pills. with way to high dosage then i was supposed to have (200mg dose when your supposed to start at 10mg and increase over time.)

wich wasnt the best thing. felt like shit and the problems even worse.

sometime around there i started loosing memories.(and as still today i know basicly nothing from when i was 18 or younger. except from what ive been told.)

 

One day i just said to myself im tired of this , i want to be able to live a "normal" life. (and didnt really have any trust in the doctors after what they did to me before)

So i basicly just decided to be stong and train myself away from it. went out for walks and so on to try train away the social anxiety. 

met people that was important to me. after some time i could sit at a café for hours almost daily without too much of a problem. 

with friends who understood me and being able to talk about my issues slowly made my depression "go away"

I've learned by now that it will never fully go away. neither my depression or my social anxiety disorder. but ive learned to deal with it over time. being able to handle the stress that occur. 

now i work at a conviniece store to push myself even further. and goes well. 

and my depression isnt that bad anymore. most of the times i feel pretty well now. (alot thanks to the people i've met here.)

its just at times when too much is happening at the same time it comes back.. 

 

so basicly after years of working hard for myself and believing in myself. i almost live a "normal life" today as i hoped for.  

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Everyone experiences struggles differently at one point or another in their life. We deserve no more or less respect than the person next to us. Praying that it'll turn out for the better is all I wish for.

 

I just want people to be more hopeful because depression is very treatable/manageable. I personally don't think depression alone gives you the right to end your life since your life doesn't just belong to you alone - as if your death won't affect anything in the sequence of things left behind. Imagine a chain with one link broken apart. 

 

As someone who was misdiagnosed with clinical depression at 16, I was later officially diagnosed with BP 2 at 22 yet I feel more mentally healthy and stable now than most "normal" people around me due to years of experimenting with diet, medication, social conditioning etc. I continue to do study trials for BP 2 since 2012, and my method of treatment have peaked a lot of interest from psychiatric evaluators. While treating my carpal tunnel for example, I accidentally treated the inattentiveness I suffered from BP 2. 

 

My past counselor always said I had high intrapersonal skills to make up for my lack of interpersonal skills. While I've found what works best for me doesn't always works best for others; I can only advise others to do their own personal experimentation to be in control of their own health. 

 

Give yourself a reason to be sane and your subconscious will make all kinds of effort to get you there.

 

It was very tough on me dealing with my sister's death 2 years ago, and breaking up with my fiance a year after that. I knew things would pass; at least I waited patiently enough until whenever it needed to pass. I barely kept my head floating above water during those times. My desire to live and see the sun rise again each day carried me through. There was no impressive story to tell about my struggles. All I day was watched Anime every day honestly. When I was living on the bare essentials, it didn't take much to keep my emotions content. 

 

Right now I'm staying home from work to take care of both a bed-ridden father and a mother's health that is still awaiting answers about her osteonecrosis. As a testament of my health to my own self, I haven't felt burdened by any of it, nor have a felt a need to break down and run away from my responsibilities to them. I'm going on 4 hours of sleep a day, but I still like to find time to log into here and see the latest hentai pics being shared. People are surprised at how happy and cheerful I can be at work knowing my condition right now; and I'm not faking any of it.

 

I don't give myself messages like, "Be strong crunchy! You can do this taco-chan," because I know my strength and it takes more than superficial magical thinking to strengthen your mind. My want and desire to just be here on this planet and see others happy were what I needed and the rest worked itself out. 

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My "story" is just wierd. 

i´ve had social anxiety disorder & panic attacks often,  also constant stress (wich cause my body to pretty much constantly shake,)

since i was a kid. (9 or so)

So as alot of people i was bullied as a kid. and at the same time tried to help the people who had hard times.

(so basicly take on theyr burdens aswell outside my own.) after a few years of taking other peoples problems and not being able to get any help from mine, my depression started.

following a months after my best friend died. and 2 months after that both of my grandfathers died (brain cancer / heart failure.) 

at that moment i broke completly. 

was unable to go out the door without getting a panic attack & the depression was kinda bad i guess.unable to go to classes and so on.

and from there on for years problem after problem started. (without typing an entire book here :) i skip those years.)

tried to get help , the psychiatrist (where i lived )was completly retarded and in the end said that they couldnt help.

asked doctors about it and they gave me pills. with way to high dosage then i was supposed to have (200mg dose when your supposed to start at 10mg and increase over time.)

wich wasnt the best thing. felt like shit and the problems even worse.

sometime around there i started loosing memories.(and as still today i know basicly nothing from when i was 18 or younger. except from what ive been told.)

 

One day i just said to myself im tired of this , i want to be able to live a "normal" life. (and didnt really have any trust in the doctors after what they did to me before)

So i basicly just decided to be stong and train myself away from it. went out for walks and so on to try train away the social anxiety. 

met people that was important to me. after some time i could sit at a café for hours almost daily without too much of a problem. 

with friends who understood me and being able to talk about my issues slowly made my depression "go away"

I've learned by now that it will never fully go away. neither my depression or my social anxiety disorder. but ive learned to deal with it over time. being able to handle the stress that occur. 

now i work at a conviniece store to push myself even further. and goes well. 

and my depression isnt that bad anymore. most of the times i feel pretty well now. (alot thanks to the people i've met here.)

its just at times when too much is happening at the same time it comes back.. 

 

so basicly after years of working hard for myself and believing in myself. i almost live a "normal life" today as i hoped for.  

 

Strangley enough when I used to have (I haven't had any recently ^.^) panic attacks I would have no memory of what caused it and the only reason I knew was because my parents were the ones who caused it.  The psychiatrist said it was something along the lines of my brain selectivly forgeting stressful things as a coping mechanism (there is probably some fancy dancy word for it :P).  While not as severe as your situation I am missing most of the memories involving when I was 16-17.  I can say personally that your example really is motivating me to try and get back on my feet and it gives me hope. So from the bottom of my heart, I thank you for sharing :D

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