Jump to content

Is it ok to be a "gentleman?"


Dark Ariel7

Recommended Posts

Should girls get special treatment from men?

 

I guess probably not. It's not required, but it would be Nice to do.

 

I try to be make things fair as much as I can.. ex: paying for my half of the meal, or paying it all because they paid the last time. Help them out, when they help me out. I try not to take advantage.

 

But honestly, if a guy acted like a gentleman (mostly Nice) to me... then I'd see him in a better light, and may like him more in a romantic sense. Politeness, Respectfulness & being Nice is attractive to me.  Acting like a gentleman is close to that.

 

So personally, I don't think men are required to be 'gentlemans' but it's not a bad thing to act like one either.  I wouldn't outwardly demand men to act nice to me or w/e just because I'm a girl, but of course I would be happy if they were nice to me anyways.. why wouldn't anyone want to be treated well?

 

It's really up to the guy if he wants to act/appear a gentleman or not. When girls demand it, it's just the gender expectation / social pressures they are used to I guess... but of course, girls have their own social expectations of acting like a proper 'lady' or w/e.

To be honest, I actually enjoy the system. I like treating girls well. I have old timely romanticism in my head.

The only reason why I find myself asking the question is because there is as of late an extreme lack of balance in the system now. "Ladies" at my school taught it proper and appropriate to, in great detail, discuss their toiletries in the middle of class in very, yes I do mean very, loud voice. Even so they expect guys to do things for them and treat them as if though they are ladies.

I am on the fence on treating every person well. I treat people with a hint of indifference until I am given a reason not to. I do not treat people with respect. That said neither do I disrespect them. I just felt that people think that I mean to be rude to people just because you are not acting  like a gentleman. It does not mean that you have to act like a cretin.

Also, I think we can all agree that none of this applies when you like a person. Friends, especially girlfriends, are to be treated with love. Not with crappy formalities. If those formalities serve as a way for you to express love, though then that is fine too.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

To be honest, I actually enjoy the system. I like treating girls well. I have old timely romanticism in my head.

The only reason why I find myself asking the question is because there is as of late an extreme lack of balance in the system now. "Ladies" at my school taught it proper and appropriate to, in great detail, discuss their toiletries in the middle of class in very, yes I do mean very, loud voice. Even so they expect guys to do things for them and treat them as if though they are ladies.

I am on the fence on treating every person well. I treat people with a hint of indifference until I am given a reason not to. I do not treat people with respect. That said neither do I disrespect them. I just felt that people think that I mean to be rude to people just because you are not acting  like a gentleman. It does not mean that you have to act like a cretin.

Also, I think we can all agree that none of this applies when you like a person. Friends, especially girlfriends, are to be treated with love. Not with crappy formalities. If those formalities serve as a way for you to express love, though then that is fine too.

 

I have seen alot of this from younger genrations more then any thing. Not to sound like an old cranky man or any thing but just people 10 years younger then me seem to live by a totaly diffrent system. They say and do things in places i would ahve never dreamed of.

 

Maybe its linked to the information age driven by things like facebook and twitter where they think its normal just say any thing to just about any one. The older i get the more i relize just how much of a few year diffrance in age can make with a culture. Might also be way in my "old age" i have taken a likeing to old women more and more.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I have seen alot of this from younger genrations more then any thing. Not to sound like an old cranky man or any thing but just people 10 years younger then me seem to live by a totaly diffrent system. They say and do things in places i would ahve never dreamed of.

 

Maybe its linked to the information age driven by things like facebook and twitter where they think its normal just say any thing to just about any one. The older i get the more i relize just how much of a few year diffrance in age can make with a culture. Might also be way in my "old age" i have taken a likeing to old women more and more.

I am only in my late teens. If that is what being old is like then I am at least 60 at heart.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Well I certainly don't expect guys to hold the door open for me or anything.I try to hold open doors for who happens to walk behind me as I walk through the door and I'll hold it open for people walking in front of me if they seem to need it (like people pushing trams or old people) I certainly don't mind people holding up doors for me either but people who insists on holding doors open to women have been annoying in my experiences because they sometimes run past you to open the door or push you aside (once I dropped the stuff I was holding because a guy ran past me to open the door <_<) It is also extremely annoying if you're already reaching for the door yourself and someone grabs it just before you do (I have seen people trip from this actually).

 

And the train/bus seats. YES. The only people who don't give up their seats to old/pregnant/disabled people are jerks. Like seriously if you are young and healthy you can stand, give your seat to someone who can't.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Of course it's OK. What are you talking about?  :lol:

 

Short answer because I'm lazy: It's never about gender equality, it's about mannerism. You do it because it's norm. Why should you hold the door open for someone else? You went through all that trouble to open it, everyone should. On the contrary, before anyone else enters you might as well quickly close it so they get to open it like you did.

 

See the point?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yes, I like it. I'm young and healthy, furthermore that seat isn't my own, so I don't have a littlest problem with giving it up ;)

 

Ok, now picture this situation, you waited for the bus/train for 30 minutes to 1 hour, you´re in a bad mood because of that, the bus/train is full, you get a seat.

In this situation, you give up your seat??

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Ok, now picture this situation, you waited for the bus/train for 30 minutes to 1 hour, you´re in a bad mood because of that, the bus/train is full, you get a seat.

In this situation, you give up your seat??

 

Personally, I would. 

I simply can't be mean to people I don't know. My conscience would tear me to bits if I was sitting on a train while somebody who clearly needed a seat was standing.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Personally, I would. 

I simply can't be mean to people I don't know. My conscience would tear me to bits if I was sitting on a train while somebody who clearly needed a seat was standing.

 

I wouldn´t.

Here, trains and buses come late, they are full of people, you get a seat if you´re lucky enough.

I hate waiting and dealing with crowds.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hmm, okay, I'm sitting in that bus/train and I'm in a bad mood because I waited for 1 hour. But there may be a person who need to seat, maybe is more tired than me or in a worse mood than me. If I spot person like that in my vicinity, I'll stand up and give up my seat.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hmm, okay, I'm sitting in that bus/train and I'm in a bad mood because I waited for 1 hour. But there may be a person who need to seat, maybe is more tired than me or in a worse mood than me. If I spot person like that in my vicinity, I'll stand up and give up my seat.

 

And if it were every week??

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think being a proper gentleman is important and I really dislike seeing so many people disregard this. At the same time though I see a lot of women around me that dislike when they are treated nicely (?) Most of them are feminists though and think they are better than men which is OK i guess... I don't have anything against them but the two genders both have pros/cons and are not equal in many regards. 

 

All in all manners are one of the most important things I see in society but it seems like most people don't even think twice about it /sigh. 

 

I hold the doors open for anyone coming in, always say excuse me and thank you, make sure I set the table correctly, I try to hold my self high in public and act like a well mannered citizen, I am always on top of my hygiene, honest for the most part,  treat others with respect where due and recognize authorities and people who are higher in society than I and act accordingly. Most of the time I would give up my seat for an elder or women and give them my up most attention when needed.

 

Not really all what a "gentleman" is and does just what i do. I see being one and having proper manners very important. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think being a proper gentleman is important and I really dislike seeing so many people disregard this. At the same time though I see a lot of women around me that dislike when they are treated nicely (?) Most of them are feminists though and think they are better than men which is OK i guess... I don't have anything against them but the two genders both have pros/cons and are not equal in many regards. 

 

All in all manners are one of the most important things I see in society but it seems like most people don't even think twice about it /sigh. 

 

I hold the doors open for anyone coming in, always say excuse me and thank you, make sure I set the table correctly, I try to hold my self high in public and act like a well mannered citizen, I am always on top of my hygiene, honest for the most part,  treat others with respect where due and recognize authorities and people who are higher in society than I and act accordingly. Most of the time I would give up my seat for an elder or women and give them my up most attention when needed.

 

Not really all what a "gentleman" is and does just what i do. I see being one and having proper manners very important. 

Hmm. This seems to me a bit more focused with fitting into society than really the double standards that I was referring to. 

I would disagree with the second half of what you said. I recognize no person as being higher in society than I. No not even the police or the president. If I obey the police it is not because I respect them but rather because I will get into trouble if I don't. That said, I try not to be an ass hole where undue. I think of no person as lower than me in society.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I have a question, and I want to hear everyones sincere opinion.

Do you like giving up your seat on a bus or a train??

Sometimes. It makes me conceited and makes me feel like I am a better person than all of those who did not give up their seats. As a general rule though no. Why the hell would I want to stand up?

 

Yes, I like it. I'm young and healthy, furthermore that seat isn't my own, so I don't have a littlest problem with giving it up ;)

I would like to point out that by that same toke, the seat is not theirs. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hmm. This seems to me a bit more focused with fitting into society than really the double standards that I was referring to. 

I would disagree with the second half of what you said. I recognize no person as being higher in society than I. No not even the police or the president. If I obey the police it is not because I respect them but rather because I will get into trouble if I don't. That said, I try not to be an ass hole where undue. I think of no person as lower than me in society.

%0
Link to comment
Share on other sites

It most likely is but I see chivalry as being an important part of what I value in society as well just couldn't figure out how to put it exactly. Where i live there really isn't that many people who value it as much as I do.

In and idealistic world I would for the most part agree with you. However, people chosen to be your leaders are mostly no better than you. So they should not be considered you "betters". And while you can take the high road, it gets lonely when you are the only one that travels it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

In and idealistic world I would for the most part agree with you. However, people chosen to be your leaders are mostly no better than you. So they should not be considered you "betters". And while you can take the high road, it gets lonely when you are the only one that travels it.

 

I am guessing my post went through since you quoted it but all i see is a %0. 

 

In the second part of my post did not go through I stated that I do not think them "better" than me I just recognize them as having more influence and power. Therefor I try to stay on their good side at all times. Most of the time I rather not deal with them but still go out of my way to do so when called for. Guess I am a push over but it has its benefits

 

Again sorry if it is a re post I did not see if my previous post went through or not.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I have a question, and I want to hear everyones sincere opinion.

Do you like giving up your seat on a bus or a train??

 

This implies that one uses any of those.... i just have my driver drop me off at the front door jk, but really i dont take have a need to or the abilty to take a train/bus.

 

 

I am only in my late teens. If that is what being old is like then I am at least 60 at heart.

 

 

Welcome to the club i am a 55 year old exective at heart.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

This implies that one uses any of those.... i just have my drive drop me off at the front door jk but really i dont take have a need to or the abilty to take a train/bus.

 

 

That´s not an answer to my question.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...