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Dark Ariel7

Is it ok to be a "gentleman?"

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People like to say that Chivalry is dead. However, chivalry is for knight to use not for the populace. There have been no knights for well over 100 years now. What they mean to say is that men no longer act in a kind and considerate manner towards women. 

Why should we? I mean it's fine to open the door for a girl if you want to but I find it arrogant when girls say things that imply that we need to open the door for them. I think women can be really arrogant like that. For example using things such as "girls first" and "you can't hit a girl".

Should girls get special treatment from men?

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People like to say that Chivalry is dead. However, chivalry is for knight to use not for the populace. There have been no knights for well over 100 years now. What they mean to say is that men no longer act in a kind and considerate manner towards women. 

Why should we? I mean it's fine to open the door for a girl if you want to but I find it arrogant when girls say things that imply that we need to open the door for them. I think women can be really arrogant like that. For example using things such as "girls first" and "you can't hit a girl".

Should girls get special treatment from men?

(Depends on your view, I personally am polite and open doors for people if I can but if they give me attitude before hand or if I met them and didn't like then I wouldn't bother. Also as for should we give girls special treatment.. That's a tough one, I think we should be equals but then i'm a hypocrite because I honestly can say I wouldn't hit a girl, or I would have second thoughts at least, It's not really a black or white subject I guess is what I'm trying to say.) 

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chivalry isnt necessarily acting in a kind and considerate manner towards women for the sake of being nice, it's something a bit heavier. I think it's just fine to be your vision of a gentleman, so long as it's for the purpose of being kind and considerate, but the whole problem with chivalry is that it's a little wonky as far as the 'why' you do the things you do, and I dont think it's as simple as "it's nice to hold doors for people," because I do that all the time even with my guy friends just to be nice. I dont think girls should get special treatment as a rule, but it's up to you to decide if you want to give them it, and I dont know if they should necessarily be aggressive towards that decision unless you somehow imply that you are inherently more capable through your actions.

 

In my opinion, deferential treatment is a little silly on a strictly gender basis. If you have a special someone, that's perfect reason to be kind, but I dont see why you should be kind to all women just because they are women. That said, just 'being nice to everyone' is a pretty good alternative imo. You shouldnt feel responsible for treating women in a uniquely respectful way.

 

the whole not hitting a girl thing, in my opinion is limited to forcing fights on women, because they tend to be weaker than men. If they want to fight or are asking for it, go at it, I say

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Honest opinion? No

Do I care if this makes me an enemy out of women? No way in hell.

To me it´s kind of like respect, you´re not born with it, you EARN it.

If women want to be nicely treated, they should treat men nice too.

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Nevermind that and the women thingy (I for one don't really care since I open doors for both girls and boys and I am not a fan of violence so I haven't really hit any boys or girls >.>).

Chivalry is love, chivalry is life.

Chivalry hasn't died yet..... you should start with yourself and it will be alive once again. 

Don't worry, we have the power!

We have the power to change this world. 

Yes, we can change it and revive chivalry... no it is already alive... we should spread it. Spread it everywhere and anywhere.

Be kind and support Chivalry

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I don't believe in self entitlement in any way shape or form so i don't believe in chivalry, but let's try to analyze it.

Do you intend to have any kind of relationship or friendship with the woman in question? Then you should probably be nice, i believe that's a factor in building relationships, maybe that's just me though.

Also if someone is a higher up you should probably act nice as well if you care about your position.

But if you have no intentions of forming any kind of connection then chivalry acts become pointless and needless.

But this is just regarding the way you act towards the female gender.

Being a gentleman in the truest sense of the word involves more than that.

Doing nice stuff for other people like holding the door open or giving an old lady your seat on a bus, this kind of stuff also makes you a gentleman.

Regarding wether they deserve it or not, in the end only you can decide if a person deserves it but in my personal opinion i just act nice if i have something to gain from it most of the time.

(by not being nice i don't mean i'm hurting other people, i'm just indifferent)

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Treat them with the respect your mother taught you. And like your mother taught you, if she disrespects you turn your nose elsewhere. There is no need to disrespect people or take disrespect from others.

 

Opening doors, pulling out chairs, paying for dinner etc. manners are relative from culture to culture. Which is more appropriate: Shaking hands or a slight bow, it all depends where you're going. When in Rome. 

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I have a rather strange method. If it's a stranger, I act like a gentleman. If it's a friend, I don't really care. If it's an acquaintance I don't like, I avoid them.

 

Otherwise I always do that kind of stuff.

The best bit is when the person in question ignores me and I get to say 'Your WELCOME'.

They usually can't say anything back to that and either glare, or find it funny and thank me.

 

Regarding whether girls get special treatment or not. I believe in equality. What's so bad about doing it for a man? I'm indifferent to gender. 

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Chivalry and general politeness is potentially useful for gaining social respect of some kind, giving a slight bonus to fucking probability...

 

...welll that's the theory at least. In practice? Probably doesn't really work in this day and age. General politeness for both genders probably will earn you a little favor and is fairly easy to do, though.

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I'm generally polite to people in public regardless of gender.  And why not?  It cost me nothing to do so.  It doesn't really gain me anything either, but given the choice of being considerate or not, I choose the former most of the time.

 

Now it's never happened, but if I did encounter someone who complained about me holding a door, I'd simply apologize, enter the door, and lock it behind me.

 

Hey, they didn't need any help, right?

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there have been knights in the past 100 years you just never paid any attention trying to bother to find them.

just gonna say this now but currently the title knight is just well a honorary thing its not like your gonna walk around in a piece of metal armor.

there regular people who have done something that is considered great in there own country.

 

anyway the only people i will be polite against is A: children below the age of 11 and B:the disabled and elderly.

(also people at my work because you cant be rude to costumers)

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In theory, my stance on this has always been the same: Women fought for equal rights, so that's what they'll get. It's quite literally an example of trying to have your cake and eat it too. If men and women are equal, then why the hell would I give you benefits I don't give to other men? 

 

However, I'm a hypocrite when it comes to reality, because unless it's a friend, I'll always open the door, let you go first, etc. Just the way I was raised, being the only male in a house of females for the majority of my life, subservience to women is in my nature. I just feel disrespectful when I don't adhere to "chivalry".  

 

As for hitting a woman... I really don't care. If you hit me first I'll hit you back, plain and simple. Probably another carryover from childhood since my sisters and I got in fights all the time.

 

I have a rather strange method. If it's a stranger, I act like a gentleman. If it's a friend, I don't really care. If it's an acquaintance I don't like, I avoid them.

This sums things up pretty well

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I don't understand. Women complain about supposedly being treated as inferior compared to men, and want equal rights. Okay, fair enough. But then why should men specifically hold doors and show extra courtesy towards women, if they want to be treated EQUALLY? Like it's been mentioned, you "can't hit girls." Why? It's alright for girls to hit guys? Women HAVE to go first? All this stuff just seems to superficial double standard BS, IMO. 

 

There's such a thing as being polite towards other people, but respect should be something that's earned, not given by default. That applies for both genders and for people of all ages.  

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Guest sakanaとkoeda

If you look at other organisms in nature, it's typically the males wooing the females. So it's not entirely exclusive to just humans. Females do get treated differently for being females.

 

That being said, as mindful people we can choose how we behave. Discourtesy isn't usually a crime, but it probably won't win you any friends or favor. Giving females "special treatment" is sort of an observed courtesy that smooths the edges of society: I would say it's sort of like a default to adhere to when you don't know what to do in such a situation.

 

Say a man and a woman walk under a single umbrella in the rain, it would be more proper for the man to walk on the side where water could splash on someone.

The man might do this:

1) to spare the woman's appearance

2) to bear possible illness from getting soaked (being more durable)

 

Or if a younger man had a seat on a crowded train and an elderly woman entered to find no seat available.

The man would probably offer his seat because:

1) he's probably better able to stand without it being strenuous

2) watching and not acting (when not much is asked of you) when another human being in need before you isn't easy

 

Of course this sort of action should never be demanded of any person regardless of gender. Otherwise common courtesy doesn't really work. It works (or should work) like a give and receive system. It's just as the man (being biologically stronger) you're usually gonna be doing most of the giving because you're better able to :P

 

Sorry if my reasoning is a convoluted mess.

Personally I would do as the others above me had suggested, and just treat others with the same respect you would expect them to show you, be it man or woman.

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If you look at other organisms in nature, it's typically the males wooing the females. So it's not entirely exclusive to just humans. Females do get treated differently for being females.

 

That being said, as mindful people we can choose how we behave. Discourtesy isn't usually a crime, but it probably won't win you any friends or favor. Giving females "special treatment" is sort of an observed courtesy that smooths the edges of society: I would say it's sort of like a default to adhere to when you don't know what to do in such a situation.

 

Say a man and a woman walk under a single umbrella in the rain, it would be more proper for the man to walk on the side where water could splash on someone.

The man might do this:

1) to spare the woman's appearance

2) to bear possible illness from getting soaked (being more durable)

 

Or if a younger man had a seat on a crowded train and an elderly woman entered to find no seat available.

The man would probably offer his seat because:

1) he's probably better able to stand without it being strenuous

2) watching and not acting (when not much is asked of you) when another human being in need before you isn't easy

 

Of course this sort of action should never be demanded of any person regardless of gender. Otherwise common courtesy doesn't really work. It works (or should work) like a give and receive system. It's just as the man (being biologically stronger) you're usually gonna be doing most of the giving because you're better able to :P

 

Sorry if my reasoning is a convoluted mess.

Personally I would do as the others above me had suggested, and just treat others with the same respect you would expect them to show you, be it man or woman.

 

I would not walk on the side of the umbrella with water. 

I am about as vain as a woman. I don't want to get wet either. I may be stronger than her physically but disease does not care about that.

 

I do it because she is old. Not because she is a woman. 

 

If I have to do all of these things for you because I am a man, is it really so far fetched of me to tell you to shut up and make me a sandwich? A system is supposed to work both ways.

 

 

 

Admittedly if you like a girl it is different. You like her. That is why you do it.

 

I am not talking about general courtesy. You do that so that you can keep from going at each others throats. I am talking about something more unreasonable. Like boys at school always getting to leave last for lunch of home because "ladies first" or getting in trouble with your parents because you hit a girl and she started the fight.

 

 

Also there are no knight because there is no feudalism. I know there are still people that hold the title. People still get knighted by the queen but that does not make them knights. It is frankly an insult to the guys that dedicated all of their lives to live by the sword.

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I basically do it for anyone if I have the time... being polite and helpful is perfectly fine, if you are living in a civilized country where you don't have to worry about suicide bombers and the like.  I dislike people in general, but I don't let that make me fail to have basic courtesy.

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Hm, these gentleman expectations seem to be a part of the bigger picture of different expectations on women versus men.

 

I guess I hold doors open when it can be done discreetly (I don't have to wait), if I'm the host at my own home or if the one I hold the door open for seems frail or hasn't got a free hand. I guess I do it for women and men in these cases, however I don't do it for youngsters acting all tough and that (personal bias).

 

In the greater picture I'm more concerned of bigger gender differences in expectations. Like how mother's nag their unmarried daughters about family in their thirties or girlfriends complaining about their boyfriends "never taking initiative" when they themselves never take it.

 

My conclusion is be a gentleman if you feel for it, but don't expect other's do be it. So it's not sexist to be it, but it is to expect others to be it.

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The stereotypical "Gentleman" that gets flung around these days is useless. It's just that, a stereotype. You'll just end up being a tool to be used. That said, you don't need a stereotype to be a good man. Or person, in general. Gender doesn't matter. You can be a good person without having to care about what society thinks.

Also, chivalry is ridiculous. Most people that spout it have absolutely no idea what it even really was. >_> That said, being a "gentleman" is retarded as well. Simply put, just be a good man. Not a nice guy. There is a difference. One will get you respected as a man, the other will you get you stepped on. Repeatedly. Oh, and friend-zoned. 

 

The world can be harsh. :P

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