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solidbatman writes fanfiction

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Chapter 3? Did I miss chapter 2, or is that just the joke?

Chapter 2 was lost because of various circumstances of various reasons of various things. (imo batman starting writing the chapter until he relized he wrote "chapter 3 instead of chapter 2 and just stuck with it.) Also 5.8/1.92 would but for 92 cents.

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Chapter 0.5

The Taylor of the Batman


(Authors Note: I have no clue if Tay's name is Taylor. It could be Jawaharla for all I care.)


Batman walked into the steaming bath house. No one was around for miles. It was a really big bath house. Batman removed his hockey pants, and then his baT-shirt (It was summer). He left on just the mask and slowly lowered himself into the warm bath. The hot water washed all of Batman's worries away. Who cared about solving riddles and stopping silly clowns. This was life. Suddenly, he heard footsteps. 


Using all 7 of his senses (touch, smell, sight, hearing, taste, sonar, and flying), Batman quickly identified the intruder. It was a male, likely 7 feet tall, and 180 lbs (thats American for fuck the metric system). 


"Oh, I didn't know anyone was in here." Tay's soothing deep voice caused ripples to move across the water.


"It's fine," Batman growled in a raspy voice. "You can stay citizen."


Tay slowly took off his clothes revealing a finely sculpted body no doubt due to a vicious training regime involving typing and doctoring. Batman was jealous. Why should this 7 foot man have a body that would make the Statue of David weep in envy?


"Nice abs." That is all that Batman could say to this person. 


"Thanks. Nice mask." 


Batman blushed. He liked the mask. He must be a good person. Tay lowered himself into the water and let out a sigh.


"Long day?" Batman asked. 

"You could say that. Someone is always angry."

Batman didn't know what this man was talking about.

"So what is your name?" the man asked Batman.

"I'm Batman!" Batman yelled.

"I see. I am Tay. I have no last name that is publicly known but for the right price certain people will give it out."

"I understand. So if people want to know your last name, they should send $37.56 to batmanneedscash@bullshit.com."

"Exactly." Tay let out another sigh. Batman felt awkward. Bats fluttered around in his stomach. 

"Say... you don't think I could see yours?" Tay suddenly asked.

"What what what what!?" Batman began panicking. What if Tay didn't like it? Batman put a lot of work into it and was filled with pride by it. But this 7 foot Tay might not like it. Who knows what went on behind that sexy face of a god?

"I'll show you mine if you show me yours." Tay was upping the ante. How could Batman refuse now. 

Slowly, Batman wrapped his fingers around the base, slowly pulling up. Being very careful, Batman continued to slide his fingers up as Tay watched on with a gentle smile. 

The mask finally came off. Tay gasped in delight upon seeing the man behind the mask. He now knew who Batman was. 

"Your turn," batman whispered.

Tay then tore off his mask revealing his true identity. He was Batman. 

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There are no words to express what I'm feeling right now. 


Search in your heart. Batman is not any one person. Batman is a symbol of justice and freedom from fear of criminals. Batman can be anyone. 

Pretty sure I just had a spiritual awakening reading that line.

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