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Fuwa VN Concepts


Clephas

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Since this is coming up more often now, I figured I'd make a thread where people could post their VN concepts and have them evaluated by their peers, without spreading them across a dozen or so threads (mods, I suggest merging the existing threads of this type into this one). 

 

Here is a template for it.

 

Name (not required):

 

Setting:

 

Character Profiles:

 

Over-arching theme:

 

Technical details:

 

Recruitment (if applicable):  State what positions you need here, such as a programmer, writer, music director, and artist if you are serious about getting it made. 

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I'm going to make a quick interjection here - while I'm all for the concept aspect, something like a recruitment thread requires visibility in order to gain members to make the project a reality, not unlike how the difference between a critique thread and a marketing thread require vastly different amounts of visibility to be effective. 

 

It also effects the level of critique that a single idea would get, and I'm personally not sure we've reached the level of critical mass where throwing everything into a single topic would allow everyone to get some form of feedback.  It's expanding, sure.  Just not sure if the activity is large enough that merging them all would be beneficial to both parties.  I only see ~three of these threads on the first page as of right now, anyway.  Not sure if it constitutes the activity required for a merge thread to be effective.

 

Just my current take on this.  I'm also not a big fan of formats, but I'm assuming that's optional should this go through.

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I'm going to make a quick interjection here - while I'm all for the concept aspect, something like a recruitment thread requires visibility in order to gain members to make the project a reality, not unlike how the difference between a critique thread and a marketing thread require vastly different amounts of visibility to be effective. 

 

It also effects the level of critique that a single idea would get, and I'm personally not sure we've reached the level of critical mass where throwing everything into a single topic would allow everyone to get some form of feedback.  It's expanding, sure.  Just not sure if the activity is large enough that merging them all would be beneficial to both parties.  I only see ~three of these threads on the first page as of right now, anyway.  Not sure if it constitutes the activity required for a merge thread to be effective.

 

Just my current take on this.  I'm also not a big fan of formats, but I'm assuming that's optional should this go through.

I understand where you are coming from.  However, this serves a number of purposes.

 

1.  Reduces the thread clutter

 

2.  Produces a central location where people can post their ideas without worrying about them being buried completely after a week or so.

 

3.  Keeps ideas from being buried completely once they've been pushed back by other threads

 

To be blunt, if we only get two new ideas a month, that's still two more pieces of unnecessary pieces of clutter for those sifting through the threads in the forum. 

 

For the recruitment:  I understand why you'd want to separate that into a different thread.  Understand, the template is only a suggestion.  Also, recruiting is a pain in the butt in general (artists are the hardest, if you have something specific in mind in terms of style). 

 

It would be easier if we had a separate sub-forum for VN creation, and I wouldn't have even felt the need to make a thread like this.  One of the problems with this particular section of the forum is that it is too generalized, and thus we end up with a lot of clutter, lol.

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Hmm... I have a concept that I don't know what to do with so I'll just throw it out there. I might turn it into a short story or maybe make a little kinetic novel using it but here goes.

 

Everybody goes around talking about the innocence of a child. How everything they see is positive with no negative connotations. However, as people grow up, they start to realise how bad the world around them is. How messed up the existence of life is. Peoples perceptions of the world change as they grow. They themselves change and as they change, the world around them changes with perception. Death itself can change a person and how they see the world dramatically. It is a total twisting point for them. However, instead of the person changing, the world changes. People start to lose innocence as they grow but when they reach the point, it’s more like a breaking point and the entire world changes as well as the person. So it isn't the perception of the world that changes but the world itself shifts. The world they enter isn’t the innocent world they lived in before but a twisted one that bases itself off the complete negative view on the world after a point.

 

Heres not so novelish piece to give an idea.

Everyone has something that irritates them.


Everyone has fears.
Eventually...
Everyone will face something that makes them realise,
How cruel the world really is.
Something that breaks down their beliefs,
Deconstructing the once was illusion.
Putting together a darker world.
The real world.
What if these thoughts manifested into a form?
What if...
People enter this world once they encounter the world's seed.

Young.
Innocent.
All children are.
Everything was happening around me.
But I only saw the light of every situation.
"That is so cool!"
It was a stag beetle.
"Those horns look awesome!"
Never do children ponder why those horns are there.
"Why do stag beetles have horns?"
As time passes people ask these types of questions.
People start to become curious.
"They are to attract mates."
What they don't know is that they are on the border between worlds.
The final straw...
"Want to go to the park across the road?"
The world's seed is...
"Sure"
Death.

Even though I survived...
All I see is red.
The sun no longer comes out during the day.
The lamps just emit red.
The rivers run with blood.
It was no longer the world I once knew.
People no longer give happy smiles.
The smiles are tainted with greed.
No.
I guess...
You can't call them humans anymore.
The first thing children do when they see this world?
They run.

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I've had this one floating around in my head for a while now, it's actually based on a dream I saw and managed to partially remember. Dunno if I'll ever get around to making anything out of it.

Cotton Candy

You wake up in the middle of the night at a friend's house after having celebrated something or other a few hours before. You look around the house to find your girlfriend and go home, and in doing so you check 3 rooms each of which has one of your friends sleeping, or on their phone or something. Maybe you're given a choice as to which order to visit them in, but it could also be linear, doesn't really matter.

After going through the 3 rooms you still haven't found your girlfriend and you go back to the first room and find the person in it has been murdered. You panic and stuff, but once you realize nothing can be done you rush to the next room and find the person there murdered as well. Finally, you run to the last room and find the 3rd victim. For each murder, a few details are given, and it's sort of implied that the reader should keep them in mind.

Out of fear you lock yourself in the bathroom: the door seems sturdy and if you were to run away from the house there's a chance the murderer would follow you. But you realize that your cell phone isn't in your pocket and that you probably left it in the room you were sleeping in, but you don't risk coming out to get it.

After a while the police arrives, and this is basically what the entire story was leading up to. Your girlfriend allegedly went to a convenience store when the murders occurred, and the police ask you 3 questions, one about each murder. If you were paying attention to the details given, and answer at least one of the questions correctly, you get a bad end and are arrested. But, if you answer all of the questions incorrectly, you don't get arrested and get the true end. The way this works is some of the details you're given about the murders are something that someone who just walked into the room should have no way of knowing, so if the police find out you know something you shouldn't, they suspect you and you get arrested.

The twist, which should be fairly obvious at this point, is that the protagonist is the murderer, and the reason you know those details is because in his narration he skipped the parts where he actually committed the murders, but let slip some details he shouldn't have. None of that is specifically mentioned, though. The true end has you and your girlfriend walking away from the house, and without warning you see her on the sidewalk with her head smashed on the pavement.

That last scene is actually the first thing that I remembered about the dream when I woke up, and for some reason the murderer seemed to think her brains looked a little like cotton candy, which is where I got the name, although I'll probably change it to something else if I end up making it. And from that scene I managed to remember a few of the details of the dream, and the rest is what I thought of later. Those who've read it have probably noticed Umineko's ideas there. :P

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There's a huge forum specifically made for recruiting and posting VN ideas and it's named Lemma Soft. Why Fuwanovel doesn't seem to have connections with Lemma Soft whatsoever in order to create a great hub of VN development, translation, critique and advertisement is beyond me.

 

http://lemmasoft.renai.us/forums/viewtopic.php?f=13&t=14096 

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Hmm... I have a concept that I don't know what to do with so I'll just throw it out there. I might turn it into a short story or maybe make a little kinetic novel using it but here goes.

 

Everybody goes around talking about the innocence of a child. How everything they see is positive with no negative connotations. However, as people grow up, they start to realise how bad the world around them is. How messed up the existence of life is. Peoples perceptions of the world change as they grow. They themselves change and as they change, the world around them changes with perception. Death itself can change a person and how they see the world dramatically. It is a total twisting point for them. However, instead of the person changing, the world changes. People start to lose innocence as they grow but when they reach the point, it’s more like a breaking point and the entire world changes as well as the person. So it isn't the perception of the world that changes but the world itself shifts. The world they enter isn’t the innocent world they lived in before but a twisted one that bases itself off the complete negative view on the world after a point.

 

What an interesting viewpoint. But, if the entire world is shifting - how would it work for people with staggered ages? For example, let's say someone is born in 2000. By your premise, they grow up and the world becomes more and more twisted as they grow older - let's say to 16 years old. But what about the person born in 2016? Does the world reset...? In which case, the 16 year old's world becomes innocent again. But if you have this on the scale of an entire population, it theoretically couldn't work. 

 

Unless, you follow the viewpoint of one person, and then everything only changes for that one special individual.

 

 

I've had this one floating around in my head for a while now, it's actually based on a dream I saw and managed to partially remember. Dunno if I'll ever get around to making anything out of it.

Cotton Candy

You wake up in the middle of the night at a friend's house after having celebrated something or other a few hours before. You look around the house to find your girlfriend and go home, and in doing so you check 3 rooms each of which has one of your friends sleeping, or on their phone or something. Maybe you're given a choice as to which order to visit them in, but it could also be linear, doesn't really matter.

After going through the 3 rooms you still haven't found your girlfriend and you go back to the first room and find the person in it has been murdered. You panic and stuff, but once you realize nothing can be done you rush to the next room and find the person there murdered as well. Finally, you run to the last room and find the 3rd victim. For each murder, a few details are given, and it's sort of implied that the reader should keep them in mind.

Out of fear you lock yourself in the bathroom: the door seems sturdy and if you were to run away from the house there's a chance the murderer would follow you. But you realize that your cell phone isn't in your pocket and that you probably left it in the room you were sleeping in, but you don't risk coming out to get it.

After a while the police arrives, and this is basically what the entire story was leading up to. Your girlfriend allegedly went to a convenience store when the murders occurred, and the police ask you 3 questions, one about each murder. If you were paying attention to the details given, and answer at least one of the questions correctly, you get a bad end and are arrested. But, if you answer all of the questions incorrectly, you don't get arrested and get the true end. The way this works is some of the details you're given about the murders are something that someone who just walked into the room should have no way of knowing, so if the police find out you know something you shouldn't, they suspect you and you get arrested.

The twist, which should be fairly obvious at this point, is that the protagonist is the murderer, and the reason you know those details is because in his narration he skipped the parts where he actually committed the murders, but let slip some details he shouldn't have. None of that is specifically mentioned, though. The true end has you and your girlfriend walking away from the house, and without warning you see her on the sidewalk with her head smashed on the pavement.

That last scene is actually the first thing that I remembered about the dream when I woke up, and for some reason the murderer seemed to think her brains looked a little like cotton candy, which is where I got the name, although I'll probably change it to something else if I end up making it. And from that scene I managed to remember a few of the details of the dream, and the rest is what I thought of later. Those who've read it have probably noticed Umineko's ideas there. :P

 

That's really dark. :o I love anything that uses the http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/UnreliableNarrator trope. The reveal is pretty nuts. I've always disliked horror stories (as they scare me to smithereens) so I think it's better if someone else comments on whether they'd think that the true end is a satisfactory one, though. 

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What an interesting viewpoint. But, if the entire world is shifting - how would it work for people with staggered ages? For example, let's say someone is born in 2000. By your premise, they grow up and the world becomes more and more twisted as they grow older - let's say to 16 years old. But what about the person born in 2016? Does the world reset...? In which case, the 16 year old's world becomes innocent again. But if you have this on the scale of an entire population, it theoretically couldn't work. 

 

Unless, you follow the viewpoint of one person, and then everything only changes for that one special individual.

Think of it as though the individual shifts from world 1 to world 2. So the description is as though it is from the point of view of one individual. I was hoping that little concept scene piece thingo would convey that.

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Think of it as though the individual shifts from world 1 to world 2. So the description is as though it is from the point of view of one individual. I was hoping that little concept scene piece thingo would convey that.

 

Interesting! Do you have a reason the VN needs this to happen, though? If you're following the protag., they obviously have their own worldview and need to develop in some direction, so what is their objective/motive? That is to say, what are they chasing after that will make them drop everything in order to get it? Are they trying to find meaning or happiness in the world or something?

 

For you, Life, and everyone else: here is an awesome article about story structure. I'll be using this pretty much to a T, personally.

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Interesting! Do you have a reason the VN needs this to happen, though? If you're following the protag., they obviously have their own worldview and need to develop in some direction, so what is their objective/motive? That is to say, what are they chasing after that will make them drop everything in order to get it? Are they trying to find meaning or happiness in the world or something?

 

For you, Life, and everyone else: here is an awesome article about story structure. I'll be using this pretty much to a T, personally.

This is why it is just a concept and has been for a very long time. The point is that instead of the perception of things changing, it is the world that changes instead. I can turn it into a short story or something or maybe a VN if I can get the motivation.

 

The objective of the protag? Probably what anyone would want to do if they enter such a world. Escape/panic/find a way out/survive. They enter the world when they reach a breaking point. The point at which they realise how messed up the world is. When you realise how screwed up the world is, obviously you wouldn't want to be part of it. The most common way they realise how screwed up it is is through death but there can be other methods (Violation of rights, torture etc.). Therefore there isn't really an objective as nobody wants to know that their world is screwed up.

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It has been two years.

 

It's about time to move on and discuss the matter again isn't it ?

 

And besides saying "it's illegal", none of their complains made sense to me. (there actually are 2 topics on the matter, the second one is linked further down).

However both websites are evolving towards the same goal, they are just taking different paths.

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It has been two years.

 

It's about time to move on and discuss the matter again isn't it ?

 

Sure is. I don't think Aaeru was as respectful/tactful as she should have been when approaching lemma in 2012, and ideals between the two sites differed, so at that stage a relationship was probably impossible. But you're right, it's definitely time to try again.

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