oelvn project Lucid9 (available for free on Steam)

[Hooves]

Psst, Dia stinx.

 

There's a lack of narrative hook to draw readers in. At least immediate, which could simply mean that your VN has a slow start. No biggie. Problem is that you said this

demo covers half the common route and I only found myself drawn in near the end, when the detectivey bits kicked in. If I didn't know L9 is a mystery novel I could have

thought it was a romcom SoL. (Not a bad thing again, forgive my bluntness) So consider this: If you're aiming for a short common, then make things start off quicker.

Indulging too much on SoL for a 4 hour common with a mystery murder setting is a bit odd.

[InvertMouse]

Good work on the release! The game is looking more and more polished. I hope to give this a run through sometime .

[Diamon]

 

*brews hot cocoa*

*heats some pastries*

*wears favourite headphones*

*starts game*

 

Edit:

Ok read it all. I had a blast.

I just hope that was all, right? I mean, after that last scene at the forest nothing happened even when saving or refreshing. XD

 

Soooo, my impressions...

Oh yea first some snarky comments to break tension :

GFC plushie! and a Yama one too! Did Rui make it? aaand a Random lemon.

 

MAI WAIFUUUU! MOE IS OVER 9000!

 

Totally digging this logo! would eat there for sho!

 

some easter eggs here (apparently shoutouts to Dia)

"Dia stinx" and "Dia smells goats" oh dear.... XD

 

What happened here? Some aggresive aliasing, variants of this sprite don't have this issue tho.

 

I'm calling it. Boat drive- I mean teacher is always the killer . MUAHAHAHA.

 

And now off to impressions:

What I loved:

Character interactions are solid and a joy to read. Prose is fluid and well composed.

Character designs are varied and quirky and backgrounds are absolutely gorgeous.

Can I marry Dizzyworld's art btw? I have the necessary papers for it!

I also like the UI design very much, simple but elegant. Minimalist design FTW! (Not related at all to my own approach to design)

The title screen is so full of win too, not to mention the seamless coding put into place. Sprites move and interact with others so

naturally and music is on cue. Props to the programmer; it's quite hard to sort out bugs and make things perform as one likes. XD

 

What I liked:

Male sprites are expressive and their poses also very natural. Music is great and it fits the scenes nicely, skits are funny too and

I'm digging the chibi cg's. The SoL portions of the demo (which are 95% of it ) are very well done and I had a blast reading through them.

 

What I disliked:

There is some inconsistency in the writing. At times too poetic, sometimes too frilly and at times quite casual. I guess this is normal when you have more than one writer

but I think this can be fixed by putting the writers on the same page so that there's no schizophrenic writing.

Some narration bits and Shigure's speech are overloaded with witty and flowery language. It's not unwelcome but it breaks the otherwise natural flow and feels forced.

Not exactly an issue, as I'm just nitpicking but I feel it's best to tell you what I honestly think.

There's a lack of narrative hook to draw readers in. At least immediate, which could simply mean that your VN has a slow start. No biggie. Problem is that you said this

demo covers half the common route and I only found myself drawn in near the end, when the detectivey bits kicked in. If I didn't know L9 is a mystery novel I could have

thought it was a romcom SoL. (Not a bad thing again, forgive my bluntness) So consider this: If you're aiming for a short common, then make things start off quicker.

Indulging too much on SoL for a 4 hour common with a mystery murder setting is a bit odd.

 

Personal nitpicking:

These are not issues, just my personal opinion on certain aspects of your demo.

*There's a very stark contrast when comparing Dizzyworld's and Elphaze's art. The both are fantastic but their styles differ too much

to blend together correctly. Dizzy's style is neat, colorful and detailed. While Elphaze is more rough and more focused on straight lines.

*The detective questions that Shigure throws you when you meet her feel a bit odd, more than filling the dots and deducing, it feels more

like a trivia. The detective test at night however, now that was interesting

* On that note.. young girl, middle schooler alone at night on the most dangerous part of the city? either she's up to something or that's

the weirdest "boy meets girl" scene I've seen XD. I don't think I trust that girl ._.L

 

Overall I liked it very, very much and I'm thrilled to see what happens next! Please make it longer! Your story, your characters deserve it!

 

1. Did you encounter any technical problem with the engine? None to report
2. During your playthrough, what aspect of the VN did you enjoy the most? Art and character interactions
3. What do you think could be improved? Sound effects need a bit more presence, some of the writing needs work so it blends better.
4. Which character do you like the most? Do you even have to ask? Rui of course!!! this ship has already sailed.
5. What do you think of the art? Gorgeous. I love it. My only gripe is that both artists need to reach a compromise to avoid the stark differences.
6. What do you think of the audio? Music is great and fits nicely. SFX requires more presence tho.
7. What do you think of the writing? Very good, fluid, and a joy to read most of the time, a bit schizophrenic at times though.
8. Did you enjoy playing through the demo? OH YES!

 

[Helvetica Standard]

But still it's weird that you got stuck. Is your internet slow or unstable by any chance? How much did you wait before trying to click?

 

 

My internet's pretty average but the loading was always instant, so I assumed that was the end because the page wouldn't load again.

I waited for solid 2, 3 minutes. Then refreshed. Thanks for the link, tho. I'll definitely play that last day I missed!

 

 

so maybe it's only psychological because you thoughts multiple people were writing?

 

 

No. I assumed it was the work of different writers as an explanation to the schizophrenic writing. You can have inconsistent writing with a single writer.

I think the offender is some of the narration for the most part. This doesn't mean it's bad writing, just that it needs a bit more work. As our editor would say:

"There is always room for improvement."

 

common route will be around 7 - 8 hours.

 

 

Yeah, thanks for clearing that up. Hooves was very succinct about it XD

Since an 8 hour common is pretty much above average length then your pacing is spot on. And who said I didn't thoroughly enjoy the introduction?

 

Concerning the contrast between Elphaze and Dizzy's art...

 

 

I find Dizzy's artwork to be the most detailed and shader intensive. So you can have Elphaze work as she has been up till now but ask Dizzy if she can add her shading technique to Elphaze's sprites. That way both have similar workloads and Dizzy only adds some finishing touches to elphaze's art. It doesn't matter if their styles differ, extra shading is more like a last touch up; a final lick of paint. I must clarify again that there's nothing wrong with Elphaze's art, it's simply different from dizzy's.

 

I WANT MORE RUI. GIMME. <3

[Diamon]

My internet's pretty average but the loading was always instant, so I assumed that was the end because the page wouldn't load again.

I waited for solid 2, 3 minutes. Then refreshed. Thanks for the link, tho. I'll definitely play that last day I missed!

Okay, that's definitely weird I guess, especially since you're the only person who got that bug so far. I'll try to investigate though^^ (I've also added something in the disclaimer so that it won't happen to someone else^^)

 

No. I assumed it was the work of different writers as an explanation to the schizophrenic writing. You can have inconsistent writing with a single writer.

I think the offender is some of the narration for the most part. This doesn't mean it's bad writing, just that it needs a bit more work. As our editor would say:

"There is always room for improvement."

Actually, i think the culprit is mostly because of the drafts that were rewritten over and over again (all the more considering that the very first drafts were not written by our current main writer), while keeping bits of the old drafts and adding new narration and such. As a result, it definitely feels less consistent then it should. I believe there shouldn't be such a problem for the later release, since our lead writer pretty much wrote all the rest by herself without basing herself on pre-existing drafts starting from day 5-6.

 

 

Yeah, thanks for clearing that up. Hooves was very succinct about it XD

Since an 8 hour common is pretty much above average length then your pacing is spot on. And who said I didn't thoroughly enjoy the introduction? 

Haha, that's nice then!^^ But yeah, i do understand that some other people might not like VN with a slow start^^

 

I find Dizzy's artwork to be the most detailed and shader intensive. So you can have Elphaze work as she has been up till now but ask Dizzy if she can add her shading technique to Elphaze's sprites. That way both have similar workloads and Dizzy only adds some finishing touches to elphaze's art. It doesn't matter if their styles differ, extra shading is more like a last touch up; a final lick of paint. I must clarify again that there's nothing wrong with Elphaze's art, it's simply different from dizzy's.

 

That's funny because the one who shaded the male sprites is actually Dizzy^^ (except for one character on the demo). But I guess she didn't have much time to spend on shading those characters since she has quite the workload. I believe it's probably possible to have Dizzy and Elphaze work more together to get a more polished result and more consistent sprites between males and females, but that would require to spend much more time working on the sprites.

I WANT MORE RUI. GIMME. <3

 

 

Drawn by yuuko, or BG artist :

[Bolverk]

I enjoyed the demo, I didn't expect to enjoy it so much. (Randomly chose to play the demo~~)

 

As to the questions.

1. I got the audio bug, with the sound stopping. This only happened at the start of the vn. On at the scene change from Yama to Elisabeth in the classroom.
2. No doubt the character interactions. I liked the comedy and thinking parts of the choices and puzzles.
3. Overall I thought it was good, but specific.. Perhaps the
4. Shigure. All of the characters were good tbh.
5. I liked the art.
6. BGM is good, good different feels to it as well.
7. It's good. It feels like it should have some polish in the transition between scenes at times. It feels like the text has been rewritten so it doesn't feel quite as natural when the scene changes. During the what will you become talk to different professions day. When Yama goes in succession with his funny day dreaming it feels a bit weird.
8. Yup. Gimme moar; pretty much I am a fan now.

[Mr Poltroon]

Writing thoughts is a bit bothersome. I'll get to it, but for now you'll have to manage with just my notes (these were taken as I played):

Street Camera

dressed in black - sweatshirt and cap - no brands

normal man - brand shirt and jeans

                    - teacher, 2nd year middle school

                    - died (just now)

                    - young adult - grad. student at the oldest

                    - empty briefcase

 

problem is the age, since it said grad student. [wrong]

problem is the clothes, it's school time (how do I know this? how old is the picture since it was taken?)

 

14789 - clean L shape

 

Elizabeth - can't pay

                - has a secret        -> she's poor

                - English. Bilingual

 

Dossier -Pour water down the pipe, since it's connected to the ground. Ping pong balls float. (it's not an empty bottle)

             -Got trapped wondering how I'd do the math. Sudden realization -> 1/2 x 2 =1

             -throw it up

 

bureaucracies? iron gates? school? (lol How'd I make this connection? It's true my school had iron gates though)

pills? package? + briefcase->Is he the dead man?

 

Yahiko strange face.

He might know Airi from somewhere, but hasn't contacted her in person before.

 

was it the Red girl who fought?

 

two entities in one body - and they've been showing us this crazed killer along with a complicated past.

 

This Akane character seems to have more to her than it seems regarding Yama and Yui -> scared of touching Yama outside of roleplay

 

Elizabeth -> mum

[Mr Poltroon]

 

And the demo 2.0 is now officially out!    

You can play it here : http://lucid9.weebly.com/play.html

 

Don't hesitate to share your opinions, impressions and comments on this thread! Any feedback is welcome!

 

For those who have the time, here is a list of questions we'd like you to answer  :

1. Did you encounter any technical problem with the engine?
2. During your playthrough, what aspect of the VN did you enjoy the most?
3. What do you think could be improved?
4. Which character do you like the most?
5. What do you think of the art?
6. What do you think of the audio?
7. What do you think of the writing?
8. Did you enjoy playing through the demo?

 

1. I encountered no issued of any kind- Is what I'd like to say, but the music refused to work properly most of the time. Thankfully, you guys already know about this, so nothing other than that.
2. I enjoyed the comedy a lot. Not a fan of Drama so all the nonsense with Rui and Yama were some of the less appreciated parts. The same for the apparently troubled past. Still, since I'm all in for Romance I will willingly put up with this for character growth or whatever you want to call it. But best of all were the mystery segments. I'm a big fan of mystery, but I don't have any real brains. I'm surprised I could find the right answers for most of the puzzles, and I am eagerly awaiting more of this kind of stuff. 
3. Anything I'd want to suggest is already planned, so, that's about it. 
4. Other than the protagonist? Shigure. I just have a hard time figuring out if I should be happy I understood most of what she said or unhappy that I didn't understand a bit.
5. It's wondrous. Nothing to add.
6. Fantastic. In particular, I absolutely adored Shigure's theme and the one which plays during puzzles is incredibly pleasing to listen to while trying to solve them.
7. Writing? You think I'm qualified for this? I found it funny but that's about it. I don't like deep descriptions and talks and the like. When the protagonist slipped from his usual and became more... troubled? Whatever, those were the worst moments for me. But again, this is no fault of the VN.
8. Of course I did.

[OriginalRen]

As promised:

 

 

Keep it up gang.

[OriginalRen]

I plan to release additional videos for this series if that wasn't clear. Let me know if you guys want any other promotion.

[Diamon]

@Tiago and @Bolverk

Thanks a lot for your inputs! And we're very glad that you enjoyed the demo!

 

 

I plan to release additional videos for this series if that wasn't clear. Let me know if you guys want any other promotion.

Yes, we'd L-O-V-E to have other videos from you!

And for any other type of promotion, I'll leave it to your own judgement, I think it's better that you agree to promote our VN on your own initiative if you enjoy the demo^^

I'd like to ask you to play through the whole demo, but it might take a while since it has 4 days and your first video hasn't even covered half of the first day yet. The presentation of all the heroines is spread across the fourth day unfortunately (the last heroine is introduced on day 4), so if you want to introduce all the heroines, you'll have to play until that point.

 

Also, concerning your concerns about the rather elaborate words used in narration, as a non-native speaker myself, I have to agree with what you're saying, there are a lot of words that non-native have never seen, and that might even be the case for some native speaker if they are not used to reading a lot.

However, there are two factors counterbalancing that fact :
- Firstly, it's relatively easy to guess the meaning of the more difficult words through context. It has this: "I don't understand exactly what that word meant, but given the context it is most likely something like..."

- Secondly, this advanced vocabulary is often used in descriptions, so as a result it is possible to ignore them if I really can't guess the meaning of the words, and it won't affect the "what is character doing" side of the narration. (even though I agree that I'd lose the "visual" part of the description, but non-native speaker are fairly used to that and mostly not care that much for descriptions imo) 

 

Of course, it's no excuse for the fact that some part are relatively hard to read^^ But I believe it wouldn't necessarily harm the reading experience (not too much at least).

 

On that topic, not sure what you will think about a certain character that appears on day 2 haha^^

 

Anyway, thanks a lot for your let's play, it's really cool that you are helping the projects on Fuwanovel to get more recognition!

Keep up the good work!

[OriginalRen]

@Tiago and @Bolverk

Thanks a lot for your inputs! And we're very glad that you enjoyed the demo!

 

 

Yes, we'd L-O-V-E to have other videos from you!

And for any other type of promotion, I'll leave it to your own judgement, I think it's better that you agree to promote our VN on your own initiative if you enjoy the demo^^

I'd like to ask you to play through the whole demo, but it might take a while since it has 4 days and your first video hasn't even covered half of the first day yet. The presentation of all the heroines is spread across the fourth day unfortunately (the last heroine is introduced on day 4), so if you want to introduce all the heroines, you'll have to play until that point.

 

Also, concerning your concerns about the rather elaborate words used in narration, as a non-native speaker myself, I have to agree with what you're saying, there are a lot of words that non-native have never seen, and that might even be the case for some native speaker if they are not used to reading a lot.

However, there are two factors counterbalancing that fact :

- Firstly, it's relatively easy to guess the meaning of the more difficult words through context. It has this: "I don't understand exactly what that word meant, but given the context it is most likely something like..."

- Secondly, this advanced vocabulary is often used in descriptions, so as a result it is possible to ignore them if I really can't guess the meaning of the words, and it won't affect the "what is character doing" side of the narration. (even though I agree that I'd lose the "visual" part of the description, but non-native speaker are fairly used to that and mostly not care that much for descriptions imo) 

 

Of course, it's no excuse for the fact that some part are relatively hard to read^^ But I believe it wouldn't necessarily harm the reading experience (not too much at least).

 

On that topic, not sure what you will think about a certain character that appears on day 2 haha^^

 

Anyway, thanks a lot for your let's play, it's really cool that you are helping the projects on Fuwanovel to get more recognition!

Keep up the good work!

 

Like I said, it's good writing, and I guess as you said I want people to appreciate the descriptions as much as I do. If I could compare some of the writing with another Japanese visual novel, it would be an equivalent of Dies Irae. People who don't understand Japanese on an advanced level won't appreciate the subtlety that exists in that game, nor will they understand the story completely. Another example might be Aiyoku no Eustia. This game also has moments where missing kanji completely destroys the meaning of the text.

 

In this case, it's the same in English. People always talk about how Japanese is hard to translate because of how much translators argue what "good" translation is. We all praise koestl's work, yet say that other TLs aren't as good. The same is true in English. I feel people forget that sometimes. English is just as hard (if not harder) than Japanese. People just assume that if you understand the general idea, it's okay right?

 

I feel that a lot of people will miss the subtle references, puns, jokes, and even descriptions without full grasp of English. This writing is superb, but there are times that I thought to myself, "there is no way a non-native English speaker would get how this word is actually being used here." People will expect something easy to read that is full of cute girls, but in the end will be presented with a slew of advanced vocabulary that will scare them away. It's not a bad thing, it's just personal taste I guess.

 

Overall, I just want people to appreciate the descriptions and witty dialogue as much as I do.

[Diamon]

Overall, I just want people to appreciate the descriptions and witty dialogue as much as I do.

 

Of course I understand the feeling, it's natural!

It's definitely a very subjective matter, and I wouldn't be able to decide if the use of complex vocabulary is a good or a bad thing, since it probably has as many inconveniences as advantages. But I think, as long as the flow of the writing is not harmed by this vocabulary, there's no real problem. So far, even though it comes from my personal experience, when reading the scripts, I've never had to come back to a previous sentence because I was confused about what was the narration currently saying (which in some VNs, happen to me quite a lot). But again, it's very subjective, and what I can dismiss very easily to not interrupt the flow of my reading, someone else might not be able to ignore it.

 

But it's definitely a choice we made to require a higher english level to fully appreciate the writing. It might scare some people, but hopefully it will be balanced by the fact that this more complex writing will also attract some people who like this kind of writing. And for those who would still want to read despite their shortcoming in english, it's always a good opportunity to learn and improve.

[BobJones2]

I've never tried an OELVN before and I've been hearing some pretty negative things about them so I'm even more hesitant. I'm not expecting them to be as good as the more popular Japanese VNs but I can at least appreciated them if I feel the developers made a truly honest attempt at trying to write a good story.

 

This isn't a waifu-based VN is it? I'm into plot-focused VNs, with deep and complext plots. This is why almost all of my favorite VN are the "One True Route" types; I'm not here for a waifu battle, I'm here to read a story. The "Grisaia" series is barely passable and that's only cuz some routes are pretty good and the character interactions were extremely well-down.

[Diamon]

I've never tried an OELVN before and I've been hearing some pretty negative things about them so I'm even more hesitant. I'm not expecting them to be as good as the more popular Japanese VNs but I can at least appreciated them if I feel the developers made a truly honest attempt at trying to write a good story.

 

This isn't a waifu-based VN is it? I'm into plot-focused VNs, with deep and complext plots. This is why almost all of my favorite VN are the "One True Route" types; I'm not here for a waifu battle, I'm here to read a story. The "Grisaia" series is barely passable and that's only cuz some routes are pretty good and the character interactions were extremely well-down.

[DavidA.]

I plan to release additional videos for this series if that wasn't clear. Let me know if you guys want any other promotion.

 

You could always laser-engrave "Lucid9" onto the roof of your house so that every plane that flies by sees that you support—

 

*Clears throat* Anyway... thanks for the videos, Ren. We all really appreciate you taking the time to make them.

 

 

I've never tried an OELVN before and I've been hearing some pretty negative things about them so I'm even more hesitant.

 

It's understandable. You'd be surprised how many good OELVN there are, though. (It was an OELVN that made me want to get involved in writing for a visual novel.) While determining quality is always subjective, I can guarantee that most in the OELVN community work hard at what they do. Like Diamon said, there's little harm in trying something that piques your interest. 

 

As for our visual novel, Dia explained the gist of what to expect. Thank you so much for addressing your concerns and we hope you have the time and interest to give Lucid9 (and other OELVNs) a shot.

[Zenophilious]

I've never tried an OELVN before and I've been hearing some pretty negative things about them so I'm even more hesitant. I'm not expecting them to be as good as the more popular Japanese VNs but I can at least appreciated them if I feel the developers made a truly honest attempt at trying to write a good story.

[Vargas]

Hehe love the comedy in the 2.0 demo hope to see more soon!

[Helvetica Standard]

 Lucid9 is not a moege

 

 Lucid9 is not a moege

 

 Lucid9 is not a moege

 

 Lucid9 is not a moege

 

[Diamon]

Hehe love the comedy in the 2.0 demo hope to see more soon!

[OriginalRen]

I've never tried an OELVN before and I've been hearing some pretty negative things about them so I'm even more hesitant. I'm not expecting them to be as good as the more popular Japanese VNs but I can at least appreciated them if I feel the developers made a truly honest attempt at trying to write a good story.

 

This isn't a waifu-based VN is it? I'm into plot-focused VNs, with deep and complext plots. This is why almost all of my favorite VN are the "One True Route" types; I'm not here for a waifu battle, I'm here to read a story. The "Grisaia" series is barely passable and that's only cuz some routes are pretty good and the character interactions were extremely well-down.

[Helvetica Standard]

Glad you like it! There should be more stuff coming in the near future!

I think we just don't have the same definition for moege / charage^^

- To me, a moege is a VN with a lighthearted mood that prefers to focus on the heroines cutesy rather than plot development, and is generally light on drama. Nekopara and the likes, Da Capo and Hoshizora no Memoria fit this definition.

- Not exclusive with the previous notion, a Charage would be a VN where the routes sole/main focus is the relationship between the main protag and the heroine. Typically in charage, it's the heroines circumstances that create the entirety of the plot: the heroine IS the plot (see Grisaia no Kajitsu, Little Busters, Symphonic Rains, and Nakige in general). In those games, generally, character development is done through the use of romance.

- Finally, you have plot driven VN where instead, the protag will chose to side with a heroine and the both of them will be confronted to events dictated by the flow of the story / the setting / the universe ( Fate/Stay night being a perfect example, but there's also Dengeki Stryker, G-senjou, Ever17...). Romance with the heroines are still present in general, but might sometimes be overshadowed by the plot, or given less time to develop overall. Character development in those VN is more done through the confrontation between the characters and the reality of their universe.

Anyway, all of this to say that cute moe art =\= moege. (By all standards, Symphonic Rain has very moe art, but it's definitely not a moege)

If I had to describe, I'd say that Lucid9 would be somewhere between a charage and a plot-driven VN (like for example Rewrite or Sharin no Kuni). Meaning that we still want a decent amount of focus in the relationships between the protag and the heroines, but also that the routes will be plot-driven (Depending on the routes, there would be more romance or more focus ob the plot).

[Diamon]

I do agree that cute art contrasts a lot with a darker theme, but whether it is disturbing or not is quite subjective imo. For example, Madoka Magica art (which dizzy's art style is heavily inspired from) is very cute and colored, but has quite the dark story. Well, I have to admit that Shaft art direction is also kinda special...

 

Also, don't worry, we assume the fact that our art is moe, the common route still looks very similar to your usual school-life comedy VN, and the heroine routes should still be heavily centered around the heroines. And of course, the heroine will be romanceable, wouldn't it be a waste with such cute girls otherwise?

[Diamon]

On another note, we're proud to announce our partnership with Sekai Project for the promotion and advertisement of Lucid9!

Yaaaaaay!

 

https://twitter.com/sekaiproject/status/595341209763246081

[Hooves]

Party Hard time!