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Arturia

Fuwanovel Creations for Fuwanovel.

Story Decision  

6 members have voted

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  1. 1. Story

    • Okami's Story
      1
    • Stanley's Story
      1
    • Arturia's Story
      0
    • Okami's Idea of Arturia's Story
      6


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okay i really gotta say this but gay is not the same as the word guy.

gay means another guy liking another guy.

it kinda bothered me for a while.

 

Well it is a yaoi manga... Just kidding I know the difference I have just forgotten that you don't write them the same. Well hopefully we will think of names soon so we won't have to refer to characters as this guy that guy.

 

Just to be sure that nobody misunderstood none of male MCs are gays it is just my writing mistake.

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Well that isn't really wath I had in mind for thouse characters but with limited info about characters that we give you l guess it should be expected.

So now I will try to provide more and since you said that you are more used to drawing characters when you can look at them then from your head I will try to find some pic of characters that would best fit the descriptions so you can get a better idea of wath I have in mind (but I don't mean for us to just copy paste thouse characters just to use them as a visual description since I am not too good with describing someones looks). Also If possible try using the style you used in this picture instead it is more manga-like especially the nose.

nhk_ni_youkoso__2012_01_by_zucco1-d6yla6

 

 

Gay that was sold to Raepista: You actually did hit hair-style and mouth with wath I had in mind. Dark long hair, sharp eyes, average height and width. Something like L-elf from Kakumaiki valvrave.

Girl with him: short un-straight brown hair, kinda cat-like eyes, average height for a girl. Like a Aiko Andou from true tears + +.

 

Girl sold to Midoristal: longer blond hair tied back, also average height, somewhat slim, naive looking eyes. Like Noel from Blazblue + +.

 

Gay with her: still thinking about this one, body should be something like this but I still don't know about face.

 

Girl from Rouria (older one): Short purple hair, average height. Something between Naruki Gerni from Chrome Shelled Regios + + face and antalk Nina hairstyle from the same anime.

 

Girl from Rouria (younger one): Short blonde hair, slim, short height. Like this girl from Freezing.

 

Gay with them: Not sure about him yet.

 

Loli girl from freedom fighters: long white hair tied in one plait ponytail, Short heit. Like this version of Lambda from Blazblue anime + + .

 

 

PS: click on the purple words to see a picture, + means there is more than one so click on + to see another one.

 

PS EDIT: Acctualy they become green words when posted :D

 

 

Haha, I had tought of guy from Raepista as tall and somewhat skiny, but other than that the description you gave to the first four characters actually fits kinda good with what I had in mind.

 

About the other three... I didn't like the older girl from Rouria. I didn't have a clear image on the younger one, but I think your sugestion fits the description. And I adore Lambda's design (As well as most BlazBlue and GuiltyGear characters) but I was preaty satisfied with the loli I drew...Well, guess I will give it another try and we will see wich works better.

 

Also... I also love characters with long bangs, but if I make everyone like this it will be a bit lacking in variety.

 

Oh, and about the guy from Rouria... I imagined him with avarege height, avare looking build when fully dressed, but with better defined muscles than most people, and with facial expressions and reactions similar to Araragi, Koyomi. Not sure about hairstyle tought,

 

 

About the style... I was trying to go with something more similar to Naoki Urasawa's style, but I will try to follow both Okami's and Arturia's request and "manganize" it a bit more. Lets see how it goes  ^^

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^ Thanks!

 

Ps: Just a small sugestion... It might be fun if the girl solt to Raepista starts speaking stuff that sounds like nonsense (like crazy stories, mindfuck logic, or something that may come out of Osaka's mouth) once in a while and the guy with her is the only one who can keep up with her most times.

 

Pps: about the novel I sugested some time ago... Don't worry Arturia, I would never sugest we turn it in a traditional military story! And I really like Sci-Fi! I just feel that reading some parts would help in adding a bit deph to the story. I'm posting a quote from the novel with spoilers deleted, just read it if you want. 

 

They have taken us farther back than usual to a field depot so that we can be re-organized. Our


company needs more than a hundred reinforcements.

In the meantime, when we are off duty, we loaf around. (...)

Thus momentarily we have the two things a soldier needs for contentment: good food and rest.
That's not much when one comes to think of it. A few years ago we would have despised
ourselves terribly. But now we are almost happy. It is all a matter of habit--even the frontline.
Habit is the explanation of why we seem to forget things so quickly. Yesterday we were under
fire, to-day we act the fool and go foraging through the countryside, to-morrow we go up to the
trenches again. We forget nothing really. But so long as we have to stay here in the field, the
front-line days, when they are past, sink down in us like a stone; they are too grievous for us to be
able to reflect on them at once. If we did that, we should have been destroyed long ago. I soon
found out this much:--terror can be endured so long as a man simply ducks;--but it kills, if a man
thinks about it.

 

Just as we turn into animals when we go up to the line, because that is the only thing which
brings us through safely, so we turn into wags and loafers when we are resting. We can do
nothing else, it is a sheer necessity. We want to live at any price; so we cannot burden ourselves
with feelings which, though they might be ornamental enough in peacetime, would be out of
place here. ___ is dead, ___ is dying, they will have a job with ____'s
body at the Judgment Day, piecing it together after a direct hit; ____ has no legs any more,
___ is dead, ___ is dead, ___ is dead, ___ is dead, there are a hundred and twenty
wounded men lying somewhere or other; it is a damnable business, but what has it to do with us
now--we live. If it were possible for us to save them, then it would be seen how much we cared--
we would have a shot at it though we went under ourselves; for we can be damned quixotic when
we like; fear we do not know much about--terror of death, yes; but that is a different matter, that
is physical.

 

But our comrades are dead, we cannot help them, they have their rest--and who knows what is 
waiting for us? We will make ourselves comfortable and sleep, and eat as much as we can stuff 
into our bellies, and drink and smoke so that hours are not wasted. Life is short. 

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I just got an idea about guy from Rouria hairstyles that would fit well with his personality as well as with facial expressions that Zucco suggested, and it is this one + .

 

As for Zucco's suggestion about a girl sold to Raepista it might not be a bad idea but I wouldn't go as far with it as guy with her being the only one who can keep up with her as all 7 MCs are great childhood friends and everything.

 

krill I hope you find it soon.

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Update:

 

I have written first two parts of the backstory, first being history of this SCI-fi world and second story about how did MCs finished getting into the academy. After I write a third part about their training days I will share it here. I also Gatherd Everything that we decided on to this point in one notepad in some order so it will be easier to keep a track of everything I will copy paste it all in one post once I finished a third part. I hope you will like it.

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Great work guys and i like the ideas coming..Sorry i have yet to fully grasp my own theorys having troubles with a few things but will get to it during work.. About Rouria guy hairstyle, I do think it would go well, Hmm but i think change the color though xD and a few minor details of course but i do agree..I will read the rest when i can..

 

The deadline might extend to the 6th of January as i am housesitting right now and dont have a good internet to relay back here..But will get to it at work..

 

Later i will also put together what MC's we have and have not done yet..Then we will move onto other details.

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Yea I would move the deadline to 6th too as I extended Backstory more than I  previously planned. Well I finished it so Here it is together with everything that we decided thill now.

 

 

Plot Part 1

 

Genres shall consist of Action, Sci/fi, Drama, Romance and maybe some other genre at a later stage..


 

story will consist of 7-8 Main characters..
and quiet a few Side characters..
4-5 Girl Characters and 3 Guys..
Im not focusing on Romance but i would like some drama later on in the Manga surrounding that group.

The sort of Action im thinking of is...Futuristic militery..
The world is split into 3 Factions..Rouria, Midoristal and Raepista.
The three factions have each there own militery power and each are powerful at there own streangths..
2 of the Main girl Characters are in Rouria(The main Story's Faction.)
the other 2 are each in the other factions..
The story might seem like your average(Good/Neutral/Bad), Although it isn't like that..
There really is no Good or bad when they think of there own Decisions.
Rouria and Raepista have always been on bad terms and have always seeked each others Land and power.
While Midoristal has kept it to themselves, Hiding in the shadows.

 

 

Plot Part 2

 

All 7 main characters were orphans they were picked up by slave trader who sold them to a missionary academy that trains soldiers and then sells them to 3 Factions when they are ready..


They were picked up when they had 5 and 6 years (two girls were 5 orders were 6) they trained for 6 years after they were sold to different Factions where they trained for faw years before joining the war..


Now 5 years latter 1 guy (17) and 1 girl (17) that were sold to Midoristal were sent by the military to help defend a small village at the end of the Midoristal boundary of a wild tribe of bandit cannibals
(True world is divided into 3 factions there are some neutral territories mostly deserts and other places unfit for civilized life and in them there live many small tribes undefended from 3 factions but they are mostly wild bandits without proper theology and they mostly just fight one another but sometimes faw tribes unite to attack small villages on and of boundaries of 3 factions that luck proper military protection).

1 guy (17) and one girl (16) that were sold to Raepista were sent to Midoristal as a spy to see if stories about Midoristal being a step away from civil war are true,
a town they were sent to be just faw kilometers far from a village that is being attacked by bandits.

The rest two girls (17 and 16) and a guy (17) from Rouria are also sent to the same city but for a different cause they are to get a so called freedom fighters (civils/terrorist/opposing to Midoristal leadership) to make a deal with Rouria to Atack a cetrn region of Midoristal from inside while Rouria military attack it from outside.
However thouse freedom fighters aren't even united themselves rather they are just alot of small groups with the same cause. 3 MCs manege to get in touch with one of thouse groups but is seems to be too late since they are already preparing for an attack on a main Midoristal station in that town.

MCs try to stop them and to persuade them to wait till they get together with rest freedom fighter groups and then to attack a whole region together with Rouria military behind their backs but they won't listen and they do as they please.
Because of their impatience they lose but 3 MCs menage to help them so not all of them die
one of survivors is 13 year old loli girl whose oni-chan died in that battle her oni-chan was an ex Midoristal solider and he trained her to fight so she can take care of herself in battle and she wont's to continue to fight.
But after their loss this group of freedom fighters is willing to listen and they give their word to MCs that they will wait and fight together with Rouria.
MCs continue on their mission to get other freedom fighters to join their cause and loli girl join them because it would be easier to move true town with her as she knows it well (If possible I would make her into eight MC and posably romance interest later in the story).  

The story continues all 7 MCs are in one small region of Midoristal fighting for a different side not knowing that their friends are close.
Also 2 MCs from Raepista might have mixed their fingers in fight for the station in that town as Raepista benefits from druging fight between freedom fighters and Midoristal as they know that if freedom fighters ware to take that station Midoristal would sent heavy artillery against them to retake it and as freedom fighters are now there wouldn't stand a chance against it.
Offcourse they don't know that Rouria are playing their cards with freedom fighters too. The last two MSc are losing the fight as reinforcements didn't come in time because of fight in a nearby town and they consider that if it continues that way they might have to start evacuation of village and to withdraw into the walls of the nearby town.

Also all MSc meat some SCs that help them true at this stage of the story.

 

 

Characters

 

Guy that was sold to Raepista: should be intelligent, manipulative, quiet, usually not revealing his plans, unpredictable, do wath he thinks needs to be done not matter the price,


cold towards everybody except his childhood friends, Not reveals his emotions, little bit arrogant, cares deeply for his girl childhood friend that is with him but doesn't show it to her and scolds her most of the time (but not in romantic way more like in a little sister way true he cares for her so much that it could be interpreted as in romantic way).
specializates in spying and battle strategies.

 

Girl with him: opposite of him she is childish genki girl who doesn't think much and is doing things in a moment without thinking.
A little bit naive and not too smart.Sometimes speeks nonsenses. specializates in operating battle vehicles and mechanics.

 

Girl sold to Midoristal:  Girl with strong emotions and strong sense of friendship. Out of the 7 she had most dificalty parting from her friends, she doesn't hold back on showing her feelings, shy, kinda clumsy,
tends to get worked up over the smallest things and kinda crybaby but very capable in open battles. specializates in light guns.

 

Guy with her: Stong big guy with big mules (but in boundaries of normal), quiet but unlike guy from Raepista he isn't cold just doesn't say more than it is needed to be sad.
Classic military guy. specializates in hand to hand combat and heavy guns.

 

Girl from Rouria (older one): unfemine girl mostly interested in training and polishing her military skills but not the cold and quiet kind.
Pretty strict and a little bit tsundare toward guy with her and she always fights with him. specializates in cold weapons but capable in many different things.

 

Girl from Rouria (younger one): arogant, sadist, love to tease people especially guy with her, specializates in snipers and setting traps.

 

Guy with them: He is the protagonist of the story, he is average in most things his military skills are average for someone who was trained by missionary academy that all 7 MCs where trained (still average person trained in that academy has far greater military skill from common soldiers).
The one thing that stands out about him is that he mostly does wath he wants to do, He is also easygoing person.

 

Loli girl from freedom fighters: A little bit tsundare a little bit Kudare she doesn't let people get close to her easily.
Has strong will, She blames herself for the death of her oni-chan.

 

 

SCI-FI elements

 

For Sci/Fi elements I would say that moustly weapons, military equipment and military facilities would have that Sci/fi element to them (but not as far as giant robots and laser guns).


And you could feel that there is that Sci/fi element to cities, houses and places (but once again I wouldn't go too far with it, more like different than now but not too far into the future).
Also if possible I would add royalty into a society.

 

 

Character disains

 

 

Guy that was sold to Raepista: Dark long hair, sharp eyes, average height and width. Something like

L-elf from Kakumaiki valvrave.


Girl with him: short un-straight brown hair, kinda cat-like eyes, average height for a girl. Like a Aiko Andou from true tears + +.
 

Girl sold to Midoristal: longer blond hair tied back, also average height, somewhat slim, naive looking eyes. Like Noel from Blazblue + +.

 
Guy with her: still thinking about this one, body should be something like this but I still don't know about face.


Girl from Rouria (older one): Short purple hair, average height. Something between Naruki Gerni from Chrome Shelled Regios + + face and antalk Nina hairstyle from the same anime.

 
Girl from Rouria (younger one): Short blonde hair, slim, short height. Like this girl from Freezing.

 
Guy with them:  I imagined him with average height, avare looking build when fully dressed, but with better defined muscles than most people, and with facial expressions and reactions similar to Araragi, Koyomi. And hairstyle like this + . (True we might change the color of heir but I would prefer not to) (I would rather change smile expression to one more calm)

 
Loli girl from freedom fighters: long white hair tied in one plait ponytail, Short heit. Like this version of Lambda from Blazblue anime + + .

 

 

Temporary Names

 

Names that I will use while writing backstory and how will story proside so I don't have to refer to the MCs as this guy that guy.


Thouse names will probably be changed later (true not necessarily all of them).


Guy that was sold to Raepista - Mahiro
Girl with him - Minami
Girl sold to Midoristal - Noel
Guy with her - Kouga
Girl from Rouria (older one) - Akeno
Girl from Rouria (younger one) - Hiori
Guy with them - Orion
Loli girl from freedom fighters - Ririn

 

 

Backstory

(The years are just random we might want to change them later.)

 

 

Backstory Part one (History of word)

 

Year 2067 world war 3 begin, 9 years later (2076) it turned into nuclear war.


Just a two latter (2077) geography changed from two years of nonstop nuclear explodings.
Most counties have fallen too weak to continue the war so non-aggression pact was made and deal to disassemble and destroy all nuclear weapons.
A year later week countries non capable of recovering itself alone started making alliances.
Thill year 2090 all counties have united in 3 factions Rouria, Midoristal and Raepista.
In the next 48 years 3 factions each for itself rebuilt, building new culture, cities and technology.
Year 2138 3 factions have occupied all 40% of land that contains conditions for civilization and normal life.
Rest of 60% of land is neutral territory where savages without proper theology or culture live.
However there are also some mines and business companies that have their facilities in neutral territory that are owned by civilian bisnismens.
They chose to do their business in neutral territory because it is an only way to deal with all 3 factions, as even true 3 factions lived in peace they were never on really good terms with each other.
Year 2139 war started again, first between Rouria and Raepista and a year later in 2140 Midoristal joined too however not as much as in full open war as other two factions.
Year 2144 New non-aggression pact was made.

In between year 2139 and 2144 is where aour story originaly begins.

 

 

Backstory Part Two (MSc first acounter)

 

 

Year 2141, 7 kids, two girls (5) two girls (6) and three boys (6), where total strangers, but they had one common thing,


All of their parents worked at a dig site in natural territories.
As workers here live there most of the time they get days when they can get their families to come and see them.
Normally Neutral land was is a too dangerous place for civilians but thouse facilities have a good mercenary protection ass well as busses that are driving to and from thouse facilities provided by bisnismens owning it.
True it was a time of war, this war wasn't as much open war that would endanger normal civilians much less civilian working for bisnismens running a big neutral business.
Children come to their parents' workplace having normal family day newer knowing wath is about to happen.

Faw kilometers from dig site there was a battle between Rouria and Raepista, Raepista win the battle and Rouria survivors run fleeting for their lives.
One group of survivors come across a dig site while running from Raepista units.
They asked for a shelter for a night from businessmen owning it, normally neutral businessmen would never mix himself in war matters,
But as one of the survivors is the son of a rich duch of Rouria he couldn't turn him down easily especially if he offers him a whole island as his reward.
However neather son of a duck nor businessmen know that Raepista planted a spy in Rouria army, a spy that was now on a dig site with them.
Spy informs Raepista Lieutenant who had lead Raepista units in that battle about it and Raepista units attacks dig site during a night killing everybody as to making example to other neutral bisnismens wath will happen if they start mixing them selves in war matters directly.
Kids stay hiden in one of a small underground tunnels where they were playing not knowing wath is happening outside,
They survive just because the soldiers didn't bother to look to thouse small tunnel as they were too small for people to go thru them.

But now they are alone in middle of neutral grounds that are too dangerous for even faw soldiers to travel alone on foot, and they are without food and water.
Kids starved for nearly a week before small neutral businessman, criminal hearing about wath happen at a dig site comes with hope to find some undamaged valuable equipment that he could sell.
Installed equipment he finds kids, he gives them food, water and without giving them option he takes them to the neutral mercenary academy where he sold them.
This Neutral mercenary academy is the only neutral facility that is training soldiers and then sells them to one of 3 factions.
Soldiers trained here are the best soldiers in a world, they train kids younger than age of 10 and then in 6 years thouse who survive can become proud "Apachi Warriors" (might change the name, Probably will change a name).
Apache warriors are special soldiers who serve one of 3 faction but were trained in this specific academy. And they are highly respected and treated in all 3 factions.
This academy is ruff but feir if you survive you are promised money and glory and if you are lucky and get a chance to do something big for your faction you might even get nobility ones you retire from the army.
Thouse train in this academy aren't treated as slaves but as proud and respected soldiers (if anything they are treated far better then normal soldiers). Which usually leads to high loyalty to their factions.


 

 

Backstory Part Three (Days of training)

 

 

As children were going true ruf trainings evry day they started helping each other and they started getting closer.


First year was hard for them, being newbies they had rufest treatment from both their trainers and other students.
First year past and it comes time for "Trials of truth", evry student has to pass thouse trials one year after coming to the academy.
True evry year trials where different one thing was always the same about them, You come back worthy being called student of this academy or you don't come back at all.
The night before trials students get a day free of training, decent meal, and night of good sleep, they also gain warning that for most of them it will be the last meal they will ever have.
They are also told that they will have a choice, they can try to finish a trial and come back and thouse who are successful are promised better treatment,
And once they finish their training they are promised decent life in one of 3 factions, respect and glory.
Or they can leave the academy and nobody will stop them, however they will be on their own and they will have nothing,
As none of thouse children have anything outside of academy if they do choose to go they will be damned on life of street orphans.
7 kids come together that night to disade wath to do, firstly it was suggested that they leave the academy and look for each other.
They think about it, if they live they will look for each other and survive on their own, It seems as a good plan in the beginning but then one of the boys (Mahiro or Orion) says:
"We leave and wath then? We live without having anything thinking if we will die from hunger or coldness in winter? Never knowing if we will survive tomorrow? Even if we manage to find a food and survive we will still have nothing, not a place to stay, not food, not anything!"
One of the girls (probably Noel) answer with "But we will at least have one another". Boy "Maybe, and maybe we die anyway. But if we pass these trials.. Do you know how "Apachi Wariors" are treated in factions? They are treated nearly as nobelmans, they get money, land, they can get nearly anything. Some of them even become high ranked military personnel. Don't you want that? Don't you want that kind of life? "
Girl: "Yes but..." Boy: "You don't have to worry, we are strong, we will make it true trials. And we have one another looking for our backs so all of us will make it".
So they decide to go true Trials and they made a promise that not matter wath is waiting for them ahead in Trials and in life that they will always look for each other.
Next morning around 60 students wait for trainer to tell them about a trial and wath they need to do, Only faw students decide to live the rest disades on trials.
Main commander of the Academy comes personally giving students who are about to take trials short but inspiring speech and he explains them this year's trial.
The helicopters will drop them in the nearly jungle (True most of neutral grounds are deserts there are some jungles and mountains too) giving them some food, water, cold weapons, and light guns with only 2 bullets by the student.
They are to find their way to top of one mountain take a specific rock that can be only found on top of theat mountain and come back to an academy.
They have 3 months to do it, and they are divided into teams 4-8 that they themselves choose.
They are also told that in thouse mountains live many dangerous animals as well as tribes of cannibals.
7 children go as a one group to trials and true they are going true many hardships they made it as well as 16 other students.
5 years later, year 2147, 3 lieutenants of each factions come to academy to buy/recruit students who finished their training.
True peace is made 3 years ego 3 lieutenants of different factions would normally never come to the same place at a same time however this academy is not any place.
This academy and its main comander are so highly respected that even in times of war neutrality of this place was respected and none of 3 factions would even dream of making incident here.
Student demostate their skills and lutenets and main comander of the academy made a deal who will go to which faction in a system of auction.
Later that day main comander announce the results to students and gives them time to pack themselves.
7 children are sad about having to go their different ways, but before they go they promise to each other that one day they will definitely find each other again, and thill that day that they will do best they can to survive and become someone.
4 years latter, Year 2151, fighting between faction starts again and full open war seems to be coming in near future.
Our MCs starts serving military and are being sent to missions as soon as the fighting begins.
Year 2148 full open war is just about to break and all "Apachi Wariors" are sent to Inportand missions.

(Later in a story I would like to devote faw chapters just to 3rd part of the backstory and go into it more detaily and before that I would leave just some main things about it revealed)

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^ Now, that is a pretty big post... Well, having everything neatly organized like this makes my life a bit easier. Thanks!

 

And now, an update on the male characters drawings. None of then are definitive... And I really have to start working on the bodies... 

 

Mahiro

 

fuwanovel_creation_4__mahiro__by_zucco1-

 

Kouga

 

fuwanovel_creation_05__kouga__by_zucco1-

 

Orion

 

fuwanovel_creation_6__orion__by_zucco1-d

 

Well, that is it for now. Gimme your thoughts!

 

Ps: I was thinking about making most clothes look neutral instead of futuristic, expeacially those of common people. Not sure how to draw the noble's clothes... I was thinking about doing something exagerated, (even ridiculous, depending on the charecter) more like the clothes used on the 18th century than those of the 19th, but more futuristic. Maybe doing something like "the higher the status of a noble, the more fancy the clothes... (And the hairstyle and maybe the makeup)" in a way that alows people to imediatly recognize other people's status. There might even be some law that enforces people of certain classes to dress in a certain way, or use especific accessories (The same way that, in the 16th century Venice, both jews and protitutes had to wear a yellow piece of clothe) Also, It might be interesting if low rank soldiers used a uniform similar to those of today, and Apachi Warriors a futuristic Battlesuit.

 

pps: Hope you find those cords soon, krill!

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I really like Mahiro especially #3 one with glasses, I thought of giving him glasses too but I wasn't sure if they would fit with the rest of his design now I say we should go with it.

 

As for Kouga #2 isn't far but it does need some changes he kinda looks too old. I would remove his facial heir and lover his forehead a little, I tried imagining him like that and I think that would solve a problem.

 

I like #3 Orion but he looks too young, maybe sharpening lines of his cheeks a little would fix that but I am not completely sure. (I can't read wath you written under #4 one)

 

 

For clothes I would made a nobleman clothes mix of nobelmans old times clothes and  futuristic ones like they are made in the style of old times clothes but you could tell that they are actually futuristic ones. Soldiers' uniforms would be more futuristic ones similar from thouse in mass effect made in style of suits for normal soldiers like thouse ones and the ones for special units would be something like thouse ones + . Apachi Warriors and high ranking officers would wear uniforms similar to thouse of special units except they would have personal uniforms so evry uniform would be a little different. And civilians would wear more normal close.

 

 

Anyway great work there.

 

EDIT: I just figure out that personal uniforms might not be a best chosen words to describe wath I have in mind. I meant more like private armor that isn't made by the army but some private "armor creators" that are mending armor for rich people or anyone having alot of money like it is alot better than ones made by military but it is too expensive to be provided to every special unit solider. And because thouse armors aren't made in uniform style thouse wearing it can easily pass unnoticed by the enemy if they are on missions in enemy territory as they are more similar to armors that mercenaries and any other armed non-military person ware. As each of 3 factions have different uniforms (like different in colors) they would easily get caught if they would to enter enemy territory in the uniform of their faction.

 

PS: True there might be some changes to uniform thing ones I work it out a little better, at least to the part who will wear wath uniform why etc.

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In terms of Character design, I agree with Okami's Idea, They looking great and unfortunately i dont have time to get some pictures myself xD..

Sorry to kind of push everything on most people, I will get down to helping out in a day or two..

 

In regards to the Uniforms, I think the look for Futuristic Noble type look would be great, Kind of a mixture between the clothing of old Nobleman/Futurist armor...Also the custom made armor i agree aswell, Kind of like the Mecha Type on "Infinite Stratos"(If you seen that series xD)

 

I am glad i left the main details to you Okami as i love your details you have in your post, Mainly the Character designs and Names..

While we are in the process of Making the manga, We might make like a slight change to certain things but i agree with your thinking...Especially Mahiro...I too had the thought of L-Elf when i was thinking of his part.

 

I haven't had time to read the main plots and backstory's but i will in a bit..

 

Great work Zucco and keep it up..But ofcourse you can take breaks xD..This manga wont be made in a day..I will complete this even if it took a long time..

 

Anyway Enjoy the work and keep going xD. 

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OK posting about the Story and Backstory.

 

Well Story itself i already know xD, and i like it still..

 

Backstory, i can see alot of great information there Okami..I like how Enthusiastic it all is..

About #3, I also agree about putting that part on its own in a few chaptors..But in my opinion i would put it with like a Remembrance type of chaptor's or even as part of our starting chapters..Although i think for our first chapter would have to be there part on that island where they meet up..and then after they all see each other again it hits the remembrance of there past and how they came to be..

 

But we still need to come to a discision about all this, but i love how its coming together..

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I actually didn't mean for them to meet right at a start rather to fallow their separate missions in a same city and then later to make their meting epic in a middle of a 3-way battle in that city. Well I will start writing how will story continue and progres tomorrow, (As I already said without much detail just in general how will chapters progres) and share it ones I have written enough for around first 12 chapters so we can discuss about it more detail then (My deadline for that is 6th January but I might finished it before deadline). In the mean time keep a good work and Happy New Year. :D

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Happy new year to you two if i miss it xD..

 

Anyway i got an idea for the begining then..

If they dont meet up in the beginning, then an idea came to me..how about each one(Or only a group say Rouria) find something that belonged to another one of there friends..and that leads them to try and find them again..or something like that xD....Say a scarf was found in a tree and it reminds that person of one of the girls..that sort of thing.

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Kouga

 

Just a quick fix with the sugestions given by Okami

 

fuwanovel_creation_7_by_zucco1-d702x12.p

 

Orion

 

I made the changes Okami sugested, but I was still not satisfied with the hairstyle since it reminds me too much of 

Hitsugaya, Toshiro so I made a few alternatives... Still not satisfied though. Maybe it will work if I just cut his bangs. Guess I will try again later.

 

fuwa__8_by_zucco1-d702xwd.png

 

 

Happy new year!

 

ps: by the way, how will the story develop? Will it follow chronological order, or start with the main characters already in their 17's and give a bunch of flashbacks? Or maybe even alternate between the 2 timelines, with the story of their childhood and young adulthood each advancing in chronological order, paralel to each other?

 

pps: It's kinda funny that I also though of L-Elf while reading Mahiro's description when I didn't even watch the series... must be Arturia's signature fault!

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Arturia: I actually had a similar idea just instead of finding something that each one of them already has something with them that always remains them off each other (Like that thing when girl a boy break a small rock or piece of jewelry before getting apart to remains them of their promise to be united one day just instead of boy and girl we have 7 friends doing that).

 

Zucco: I like the new Kouga and #5 Orion true he does kinda look similar to Toshiro but I tried your sugestion to cut his bangs (just delated them in photofiltre) and I think that that does slove a problem and he still look very good even vidouth them.

 

For a story I think it should start as them as a kids for just inaf to show the main details then we have a flashfoward to when they are 16/17 then a story progresses as they are 16/17 but we have a bunch of flashbacks and later in a story we have a faw chapter just for their childhood and young adulthood. True idea about having two timelines isn't bad eather.

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Yup..Well once we hit the deadline...We will start with a rough draft of our first chapter..From then onwards we shall set the artists and work on a layout for our first chapter...

After that we will do backgrounds, characters, Speech bubbles and do our story into there..

 

So firstly we need a Novel style story so that we can change and swap words around to fit Panel format.

 

Edit: I think i will have to work up some Notepads and sort this shit out on them..So that we can go back and organise something if needed...

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I kinda dragged out the first chapter by going at it more detail than I planed So I just finished it so If I continue to write it as now I probably won't have more than 1 more chapter 2 maximum for the 6th as I spend 8-10 hours on just first one so I was wondering if I should continue to write as I do now and do as much as I can thill 6th or should I lower amount of details and try to write a story up to 12 chapters in low detail as originally planned?

 

Here's a chapter one so you can tell how much detail have I been writing:

 

Chapter one (Mission Begins)

 

I would make a first page as a explanation of a history of manga writing first part of backstory in a way of historical facts up to the year 2139.


Then I would jump to Year 2141 where the story would start first scene would be in the bus to the neutral dig site that kids are traveling with.
Kids are playing in back and bus driver is talking with one of a mercenaryes about rumors that battle between Rouria and Raepista is going on near a dig site.
Mercenary reassure him that there is nothing to worry about as from beginning of a war there were none civilian casualties worth mentioning and even less problems for a neutral business.
The bus reaches it's destination Children happily run to their families and they start unpacking businessman owning a dig welcomes them and wishes his workers good time with their families.
Tomorrow morning businessman owning a dig is sitting in his chair drinking coffee when he gets report of one of a mercenaries that small group of Rouria soldiers has come to a dig and is asking to see him.
Bisnisman first tells him that he doesn't have appointed meeting with Rouria soliders and to send them off, but then a mercenary tells him who the one of thouse soldiers is. Businessman answers with "are you sure? Son of one of the richest people of Rouria?".
After mercenary confirms it businessman tells him to let him in. Person in rouria officer uniform enters badly hurt and ask of businessman to stay for a night and transport to the nearest Rouria station. Businessman refuses at first but after hearing wath this has to offer he gladly accepts with condition that they deal stays secret.
In front of door one of soliders of Rouria eavesdropping on their conversation steps further of door making sure that he is alone hi calls on his radio reporting to Raepista Lieutenant wath is happening.
Riposte Lieutenant answers that it was a good thing after all that he planted a spy in flitting rouria soliders and tells him to go out of dig site as soon as he can.
That night children are playing in the small underground tunnel when they suddenly hear some strong noise. Thinking that it's just digging machines they continue to play without thinking about it.
The outside Rapista army is shooting everybody leader screams "don't let anyone survives! We will send a message to thouse neutral idiots to stay neutral".
After a while children go outside a tunnel and wath they see is massacre, bodies on all sides nobody alive.
1 week latter children are starving some groups of people come to dig. They complain about not finding anything valuable when they see children.
The man asked them who they are, after hearing them he tells his man to give them food and take them with them, he also tells them that they are heading to NSA (neutral solider academy).
Faw days latter they come to NSA man asks to see a comander, comander comes to him and they made a deal.
Comander comes to children explains them why are they here and wath will happen to them.
11 years later, Year 2152. Orion is sitting in the back of the military truck together with Akeno and Hiori he complains how he just got his last mission just to be sent on another one, Akeno scold him for vaining.
Orion riplays with "Don't you ever get tired? I mean with all this stuff about being on a brink of war again we nearly never get a day off".
Instead of replay he just gets a sharp look. He is thinking about how war stoped 8 years ago when he was still training at NSA, 3 years latter he was chosen by Rouria as well as his 2 friends he doesn't know wath happened to the rest of them.
Were they chosen by one of his enemies, where they chosen to be some nobelmans personal bodyguard or did they stay at NSA.
(As I think that instead of just 3 factions we should add that rich noblmans also bay "Apachi warriors" as personal bodyguards and thouse who don't get both stay at NSA as trainers and security)
(Also when comander of NSA announce which student goes where he doesn't do it publicly he just tells students that that is a day when they will leave the academy and then calls students one by one to tell them where they go).
After he come to Rouria it was peace and his life was pretty easy he had to go to some training that aren't even worth being called morning exresase after trainings in NSA  and he had to listen to nobalmans and officers speeches for hours they were boring but it wasn't a bad life, he had anything he wanted and his 2 friends where with him.
But it last only for a year and then fighting started again and he started being sent on missions, in beginning it was just faw short missions from time to time as fightings wasn't so often but lately he is being sent from one mission to another without getting even a day free.
And now he is sent on a mission that is most probably to start another full open war.
A little flashback to a faw days ago when he and his 2 friends were called to be given a mission and explanation of the mission.
Truck stops and driver tell them that it is as far as he can get them and they from there they will have to go on foot.
They step out of the truck, in the distance they can see Yorkwing Midoristal's town near the border of Midoristal and neutral territories where their mission is. With a small chat they had toward him.

Same time in Vileor (village near Yorkwing), Noel and Kouga together with dozens special soldiers are waking true a hallway of the main military station of Vileor.
Noel is commenting on how the station is too quiet and how the station is nearly empty even for a that small station. She asks Kouga wath he thinks about why are they here.
He answers that he already told her that he doesn't know anything more than her and that he too was just told to come here without any explanation.
While talking they reach a door on an end of the hallway and they enter. The highest ranking officer in that station awaits them he asks them if they know why they are here after they reply that they don't he said "I will explain".
But before he gets a chance to do so wounded soldier rush into a room "captain they are attacking again". Captain turns to Noel "we don't have a time for explanation now, we are under attack, that is why you are sent here my assistant will lead you to a line of defense hurry".
Confused Noel, Kouga and other spacial soliders that come with them rush following a man who have led them to a captain's office.
When they got to the point where they are headed they see around 50 Midoristal soliders holding a line on a small hill near a station against faw hundreds cannibals, without waiting Kouga gives a command to back them up.
Cannibals figuring out that Midorstal gotten back up and after a short fight they retreat.
After seeing that cannibals retreated out of a sight Kouga asks a person who seems to be in command of holding a line (Girl solder looking like she is faw years older than him and Noel) ""Wath is going on? Where are the rest of soliders Vileor might be a small village but there should be at least 4 times more soliders in its station, why aren't everyone here?".
Person replays to him "This is all we have left, there are dozens more of as in hospital that could fight again after a night of rest but others are eather too badly hurt to continue fighting or death. They outnumber as the best we can do is bay time until reinforcements arrive".
Kouga: "But even if they outnumber you they don't have proper weapons they just use some garbage weapons from 150 years ago and most of them have just cold weapons. You shouldn't find yourself in this situation even if they outnumber you 3 to 1"
Other person: "They outnumber as atleast 10 to 1 and they aren't like before, they tried gathering and attacking as before but they would always just attack from one go, but this time they use military strategies and newer before there were so many of them"
Kouga: "10 to 1? I never heard of cannibals gathering in bigger numbers than 500, and you sai that they use strategies where could they learn to use thouse? And if wath you said is true how higher-ups thinks of slowing this by sending just 2 of us with a handful of specials?.
Other person: "Oh so you weren't told yet? You aren't here to help us defeat them you are here to help as bay time thill full reinforcement arrives. They should be here in a two days."
After that Kouga, Noel and person who Kouga have just talked to go back to a station to get more detail information from the person in charge of it and two made their plan for their mission.
Noel, Kouga, captain of the station, his assistant and Girl in charge of holding a line during attacks discus and made a plan.

Same time, Yorkwing, military tawern. Soliders drink on the counter talking rumors about how there will probably be a revolution of terrorist that call themselves freedom fighters soon, and how Vileor is under attack of cannibals again.
At a table behind are siting a guy and a girl listening to a conversation (Mahiro and Minami).
Minami: "So we get wath we wanted, we have a confirmation on rebelion so how about you report that to a higher-up and we get finished with this mission".
Mahiro: "No we don't have confirmation we only have more rumors, if Raepista higher-ups wanted rumors they wouldn't send us on this mission in the first place. And be quiet you don't want them to hear as".
Minami: "Spying is your specialty I don't know why I have been sent to this mission with you, and don't worry about them hiring as they are probably too drunk to get wath we are talking even if they do hear as"
Mahiro: "They insisted on someone going with me in case something happens to me other person can still bring gathered Intel to them and they choose you for a job because they touth we get along well.  They couldn't be more mistaken true"
Minami: "come-on don't be like that, you know that..."
Mahiro gives her a light hit on a head "I said be quiet, some of them might not be as drunk as they appear to be and I would rather not take a risk when I don't have a reason to. Well anyway come-on let's go we won't find out anything more here".
Mahiro and Minami get out of a tawern.

Midnight that day. Orion, Akano and Hiori are walking on an abandoned dock in a Yorkwing having small talk.
After a while Orion says that they should probably give up for a day and go to some hotel and start searching again tomorrow as information about one of Freedom fighter groups gathering here must have been a false.
Akano replays that they should at least check it out for a little longer, Orion complains and Akano hit him in a shoulder and starts scolding him. Hiori starts teasing both of them for always fighting like that.
A flashback, Faw hours ago when they overheard two men talking about tonights gathering at that dock for making further plans for their task. Because of a way they talked they assumed that they might be part of freedom fighters and decided to try coming to their meeting and talking with them.
The flashback ends, Just as they are about to give up on searching further Hiori spots a lights on one of the old abandoned ship.
They go to check it up, when they enter dozen men held out their guns to them asking "who is there".
As it is obvious that thouse are the people they were looking for Akeno steps up saying a truth about them being sent by Rouria to make a deal with them.
At first they don't believe them but after a little presudation and showing them Rouria's gifts for them (Dozen of extremely strong grenades witch time is made just in Rouria) they believe them however they say that they don't have a time to wait for their plan and that they will be attacking main station in town tomorrow night but they do thank them and say that thouse grenades is just wath they needed for their plan.
Akeno and Orion try to persuade them to wait telling them that attacking main station is risky even if all freedom fighter groups were united and that with just one group it is nearly suicide. But if they unite themselves and cooperate help of Rouria army win is guaranteed not just for this town but they will take a whole region under their control.
They don't want to listen and they tell them that they have a plan and that they won't attack them headstreit, If they want to help they are welcome to do so if not then to stay away from their path.
However they do appreciate grenades so they are willing to tell them locations of other freedom figetrs groups so they can try to make a deal with them and that their group will help too once they take control of a city.
They are not sure wath to do so they stay with them for now.
The rest of a chapter Orion,  Akano and Hiori are going around freedom fighters gathering place and looking how thing are going and talking with a person in freedom fighters where they met Ririn and her Oni-chan.

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^ I think it's better to write the rest in lower detail for now. No point in trying to rush things when the first chapter alone is gonna take forever to draw... It's better to have an overview of the plot (if possible. Separated into chapters)

 

PS: Sorry, I can't finish reading it right now. I really need to sleep. Tomorrow I read it calmly and try to post a few more drawings.

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^ I think it's better to write the rest in lower detail for now. No point in trying to rush things when the first chapter alone is gonna take forever to draw... It's better to have an overview of the plot (if possible. Separated into chapters)

 

PS: Sorry, I can't finish reading it right now. I really need to sleep. Tomorrow I read it calmly and try to post a few more drawings.

 

Ok, I am gona do that. That was the original plan anyway I just gotten carried away when I started to write.

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Okami, Great work you have there..I can feel the story and it feels like it can easily be added into Manga form...
Well i know English isn't your strong suite, so we might need an Editor or a checker you could say,

 

Anyway in regards to certain parts of the story, i feel like for example when they are at the cave when they were small..We could add a bit of detail and say that they are there for a test of courage, and when they hard noises and bangs from outside they got scared and wouldnt leave the cave...Well thats just an example....

 

HMm well i am returning to my own home tomorrow and so i should be able to manage my time a little better to work more on this..

 

And since i am Resigning from my Barmen job to focus on my Graphical Design, i should be able to work things a little faster..

Hmm this morning there was something else i wanted to mention but forgotten it now..

 

 

Well anyway, In regards to other members who wanted to help out, We kind of got the Rough draft on our first chapter, our character details(only partial) and with that soon able to get this on the road, so if you would like to help out, tell or me Okami and keep the suggestions/art designs/ story chapters, Anything would be great to help..

 

Anyway. Great work Okami, And Zucco, since you kind of got the feel on the Main characters, can you try further the detailing you could say...Like finer details to the face, Toning and maybe color...But you dont have to rush it...also its just a suggestion xD...

I think it would help out other Artists who would like to help out, the feel of the art style we will work with..And the art style we actually haven't talked about..

 

Okami.... What do you think, Should we aim for a Mangish style or a realism style...What i mean is a joking type of feel or a Serious feel to the drawings...Mangish style should be easier and realism requires more details...Ill post two pictures on what i mean..in a bit..

 

Sorry for the lengthy post...

 

Edit: Also just realised...Are we aiming for Shounen/Shoujo or Seinin..I dont think Shoujo would fit the genres but what i am referring to there was the art style..Like Shoujo art is easily distinguished.. xD

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As for art style I think that we should continue with that one that Zucco is using right now.

 

I finished a second chapter yesterday (with less detail than first one) I probably won't do any work today as I have some other things to do today, but I will try to write 2 more tomorrow and 2 more on 6th before midnight so thill end of the 6th we will probably have first 6 chapters which could be like 1 volume as I planed.

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