Jump to content
Arturia

Into the Night( My Story )

Recommended Posts

Heya all.. Well firstly i would like to say that this is more of a personal Topic for me..

 

For about a year now I have been writing my own story and I felt like I would like to get others opinions on it where it is now..
Well I am FAR from done but anyway, The Format is what you could say Light Novelish.

Also Please ignore all Format and Spelling mistakes xD.. I tend to have errors now and then.

 

Anyway  I would like some feed back if its possible..

 

The Story itself would seem like your Typical Romance school life genre's...But I tend to add a few darkness into the story later on.

I have 3 separate documents, One for Story, one for Character information and another for Bits and pieces I might add to the story..

FOr now I will post the Story and if anyone would like to read it may of course..

 

Well I will be in your care xD.

 

Any Questions regarding it please don't hesitate to ask.

Please Enjoy.

 

Added my Story into a spoiler so its easier..

 

Into The Night.

 

 

The Story how I think starts so far...

 

In a small town not far nor close to any place...Starts a story of the unknown...
It starts with a boy named Motsuki Tatsu...He starts his new year and begins his life of a high school student at the honor Private School of Miteyume Private school…

 

The story takes a start in an unfamiliar place...
((Setting) School building class 3-1 after school time)
Senpai!!

a girl Calls out..and runs towards her upperclassman..
? : u..um Senpai ... i...i...i Lo.....

 

?? : Tatsu...

*scene slowly changes from a dream to his room*

?? : Taatsu....!

?? : ...?

?? : WAKE UP ALEADY!!!

Tatsu: *whisper* ah I like you too *smile on his face*

?? : Geez Tatsu. Wake up already, you are going to be late.

Tatsu slowly gets up with drowsy eyes..

While still half asleep he looks at his sister.

Tatsu : Lets go out *slowly fully opens his eyes to see that he did something he shouldnt have.*

?? : IDIOT!!*she takes a pillow and wacks him over the head.

 

Tatsu : ow, What the? Rika what are you doing in my Room so early in the Morning.

Tatsu is still half asleep.*he looks around and takes a look at his alarm clock*

Tatsu : WHAT!! 8:00 in the morning..ahhh man i am going to be late for my first day of High school.Ugh Rika why didnt you wake me up...

Riki : Idiot I have been trying to for half an hour!

Tatsu hurries out of his bed and starts pushing his sister out..

Tatsu : out quick..geez i got to hurry..

Time passes by about 5 minutes and then Tatsu runs down stairs to the living room..

Motsuki's mom : i see he finaly woke up..Hurry and eat so you can get going to school..

as his mom speaks he can see his sister eating while nodding..

 

Tatsu : not my fault, i need to get a better alarm clock *tsch*

he sets his bag down then sits down and starts to eat in a hurry..

Rika : don't blame something when it was your fault ... for your information that alarm clock works and your just deaf..

Tatsu : what ever...i got to go thanks for the meal...

Motsuki's mom : Tatsu you didn't finish...Hey get back..

Tatsu : sorry i can't i am already late..
as he is in a hurry, he half eats and quickly gets his bag and leaves the House

Motsuki's Mom : Tats..

as he leaves his yard he could just barely hear his mom anymore..

 

*scene change to road towards school*

 

Tatsu...Tatsu is the name i was given 16 years ago...12 years ago... that name was easily forgotten even among my family..Although i can't really say much about it but..that time changed me.The Reason well it could be due to my sister, When she grew up she became more beautiful and smarter which casted a shadow onto me.I like my sister and i don't hate her but after she became more notciable, Most the attention to me disappeared and not only my family.Slowly my classmates and friends when i was in preschool started to to pay less attention to me BUT i grew from that experience and once i entered middle school, i wanted to earn my life back.So in the End of middle school i was Popular and i am sure i will stay populer in High school buuut....

Tatsu : IM LATE!!!

Tatsu sprints pass roads and dodges rocks and tree branches while thinking about his past.

In middle school he did a year in athletics but only in his last year of middle school, so with that backing him up, he thinks he might manage to make it in time.

Sfx : Deeet deet..!

While nearly dodging a Car,he took a Glimpse of the person in the back of the car that Nearly Drove over him..He saw a Beautiful and elegant looking Girl and by the Uniform it seemed like it was from the same School as he goes to, Miteyume Private school..

he thinks he might take a break for a Second on the side while he is huffing for air..

Tatsu : *ah ah**he exhales* this road is still pretty dangerous yet Beautiful at the same time.

he glances at the trees on the other side of the Riverbank.

Tatsu : Looks nice and Beautiful like that Girl mmm.

as he watches the Trees of Spring he day Dreams and shows a Happy and Joyful face.

Tatsu : soo its spring already huh...Cant believe im already in High school.....High school...mmm.

Tatsu : Ah man i cant stop and rest, i am going to be lateee!

 

*Scene change to Front of School Building*

 

With top speed he can run at, he takes a Sharp turn into the School Gates just before they were about to close..

Tatsu : phew..Made it in time for that, But i can't rest..

he looks at the Main Clock on the School building Pointing at 08:25 Am...

Tatsu : Damn i got 5 Minutes to get to the Hall for the Entrance ceremony.

After a 15 minute run,While Still exhausted and Tired...He is Pumping with Energy.

As he runs into the Corridors, He could spot a few students at the end turning in the Direction of the Ceremony.

Tatsu : ah That way..

While he runs though the Passage way, he takes glances at the rooms he is passing by, Although he came here before to take the exams to enter..it seems Different, Which is possibly caused by the Air of Freshman and the Season of new beginnings..

Once again while he pays no attention in front of him, he hurries and turns the corner without looking in front of him.

?? : Ah, Look out!.

Tatsu : Mhmm?

With his Carelessness he ran straight into another person..and not just any person..a Girl.
Although, she fell on the floor and kept on running, he just looks behind him and..

Tatsu : Sooorry!

?? : Ow..That guy..*Tsch*..has no manners..!!

As Tatsu keeps running he thinks to himself.

 

Tatsu : *mmm* is it me or did i see her from somewhere, Ah well*sighs*...Thank goodness i made it in time(*mmm* i guess i should of stopped and helped that Girl..maybe ill find her later and apologize).

As he enters the Hall, he starts to scout the freshman crowd.

Tatsu : I wonder how many Students here are from Tokishiwa Middle school..Wow never seen mos-

?? : Hey Tatsu! Over here!

As Tatsu looks around the Hall, he gets called from near the Front.

Tatsu starts dodging and weaving through the heavy crowd towards the front to try and find the ones who called him..

With surprise he finds out the two who had called were his friends from Middle School..

 

The one who had called him with the mature sounding voice was Kimena Kitsuji..
A childhood friend who he had met such a long time ago that he forgot when...
With short loose Black hair just flowing randomly about he spoke calmly to the newly arrived Tatsu..

Kitsuji: Geez you never show up on time Noroma..

Tatsu : ah..Only you call me that Kitsu..

As he replied with a down stricken face...a small yet broad voice interrupted the

m..

...: Um.. I think we should quiet down now you two.

 

Shiitsu Tanoshi...One of my other Friends...One day in Middle school, i found him walking with a face that seemed to fear the world itself, when i approached him and had a word or two with him, somehow we grew to be great friends...I think its due to our opposite personalities..
Shiitsu is extremely shy around most people and hardly speaks much..Even among friends..he prefers to listen. He has middle to long straight hair that is coloured dark brown that is almost as if it were black, He also has greenish eyes.

 

Tatsu: ok, ok... well, guess we should go sit and talk after the opening ceremony..

Kitsuji: Well i can't talk after this.. but i will see you two later in the afternoon if thats cool with you..

Tatsu: what? you meeting a girl or something.

 

while Tatsu laughs at his own joke, the chairman of the school entered through the side door of the hall and walks up onto the stage..

As if that were the cue, nearly all of the students in the hall became quiet and hurriedly went to there seats..

 

Tatsu: ah.. its beginning...well Katsuji,Shii ...see ya later.

Katsuji: i won't but don't get into trouble on the first day Tatsu..

Shii: Bye..

 

Sfx...Chime..

 

Once the the first chime of the new year finished, the Chairman Began his speech to all the freshman..

Chairman: Now then.... to finish of the ceremony i would like to give the opportunity to the top student of the freshman, as she will give a speech to you all..

 

The chairman took a step back and then another to the side..
and showed the top student to the podium..

 

In most peoples imagination, the Top student to them would be those people, who are diligent in there studies and work hard at clubs...not entirely friendly nor beautiful.

But

 

The girl who stood up onto that podium, shook that image out of there heads.

 

???: It would be a great Honor to welcome you all to Miteyume Private high school..

 

As she began her speech. Tatsu, Wasn't paying attention to the speech that the chairman was giving..But when he heard a girls voice, his head shot up to see who is doing the speech..

 

???: Remember to be respectful and diligent to both your upperclassman and your work.

 

It wasn't anything special that the girl was saying, But in a way, it was the way she was saying her speech, which was captivating the audience..

 

While giving her speech, she would survey the students watching her..
untill her eyes locked onto one individual..Tatsu...!

 

???:Always strive to be the best...While helping those in NEED!!!

All of a sudden, while giving her speech in a kind and gentle way..her manner of speech and volume changed drastically..

It was unfortunate that Tatsu was being slow and didn't pick up what she meant.

 

???: That would be all...Do well and Strive to be the best and good luck for this year..

With that the student stood down from the podium and gave it back to the chairman.

 

Chairman: Thank you for that wonderful speech Tsunika-san...Now then...That concludes the opening ceremony, i Hope you all focus on your studies in the up coming Term..Thats all.

 

(Need to know about Japan Schools to continue the day)

*End of Ceremony*

 

While the students get up from there seats, Tatsu and his friends decide to head out together.

 

Tatsu: ugh, that felt boring to the extent that i was about to fall asleep....

Kitsuji: What are you talking about...Didn't you see that beauty up on stage..and to think she is on top of our grade too..

Shiitsu: ...

 

Tatsu: .. well she was cute in a way, But i had this feeling like she was only glaring at me.

Kitsuji: haha i wouldn't believe the best student would glare at you Tatsu..

Kitsuji replies in a laugh.

Tatsu: what ever..So, you guys want to stop by on the way home or split up now?

Shiitsu: Sorry Tatsu...i have something to do.

 

Tatsu: mmmm...

With a devious face Tatsu replies in a similar tone.

Shiitsu: ughmm..I got to go and sign up for club.

 

KItsuji: ohh, so you already know which club you joining..

Shiitsu: ah yes...I was thinking of joining the Tea club...

 

Tatsu: ah well.. Kitsuji, have you decided on which club yet..

Kitsuji: um, it would be between two clubs so far haha..Student council or Tennis..what about you Tatsu.

Tatsu: ugh, well you know me..i want a good impression on everyone....got any suggestions?

 

KItsuji: hehe..

Kitsuji replies with a sinister sneer.

Tatsu: um, what’s with that look ...

As Tatsu was going to take a step back with confusion from that look..

Kitsuji: well it's simple.

 

Kitsuji: Join the Student Council with me..

Tatsu: Ehhh..ugh i don’t know if i am up to the hard work that they will give us.

Kitsuji: Don't worry, there is only a few students there, so I’m sure we can get along with them fine...and..

 

Tatsu: And what?

Kitsuji: I heard there are Nice looking girls there.

As Kitsuji tells Tatsu he gives off a huge smile.

After a few seconds pause, an outburst of laughter erupted between the two.

Tatsu: Just like you to be thinking of that Kitsuji. Give me some time to think about that, although don’t expect the answer to be yes!

 

Kitsuji: Alright, Well I will be off. Have a safe trip home Tatsu.

Tatsu: See you then. Don’t trip on a sand grain on your way out..!

Kitsuji: That’s mean. Anyway don’t forget to think about it.

 

After a few words the two exchange waves and both go their separate way.
Except..

 

Sfx(Bam).

 

As soon as Tatsu had turned around, He felt like he had walked right into a pole…But what he walked into was the head of the freshman, Tsunika.

although he did not fall to the ground, the unexpected person did.

 

Tatsu: I’m sorry…Are you alright?

Tsunika: I really am not having a lucky day.

Tatsu: Huh? Ah, Tsunika-san right?

Tsunika: Yes you are right…But before asking a person’s name, You need to help the person to their feet!!

 

Tatsu: Ah, Please forgive me…I didn’t mean to be rude.

As Tatsu offers his hand to her, She lifts her head to see the man who knocked her down.

Her expression changed instantly from an angry to a surprised one. Her eyes opened fully and it had felt like she was someone else.

 

Tsunika: Yuuki-kun?

As she spoke, It was like time had stopped. To her it was a feeling of nostalgia and yet a feeling of sadness.

 

 

 

 

Chapter 2.

 

scene..tatsu's home.

 

Tatsu: Im home..anyone back yet..

 

Rika: welcome back nii-chan. i got home just a few minutes ago.

 

Tatsu: i see.. how does it feel to be finaly be a third year Rika..

 

Rika hangs her head, with a soft voice she replied.

 

Rika: It feels differant but ... i feel like i can trully be myself and not rely on my popularity..

 

(she lifts her head and gives a smile.) my image change might of been a bit sudden but im still me in the end.

 

Tatsu: thats great Rika...so any confessions?

 

with a sense of embaressment and confussion she replies with a stutter.

 

Rika: w, w, what are you saying..theres no way that anyone got confessed to on there first day.

 

Tatsu: i have ...

 

he relplies smoothly as if it was natural to get confessed..

 

Tatsu: im jokeing, haha but the way you acting i@t does seem like you did..but i wont pry any further, aslong as you enjoyd your day.

 

Rika replies in a half angry and half dissatisfied voice.

 

Rika: and how was high school..you make it on time.?

 

Tatsu wonders for a bit and then replies.

 

Tatsu: hmm..i did but in the process i nearly got hit by a car and ran into a girl on the way ther..wierd thing was i acidently ran into another girl after school. (he looked down and wondered again..then said with a low voice)well it was a supprissing .

 

(he thinks to himself) I wonder, was she really that....

 

Rika: Hmm...well then i guess i have to wake you up with water then..(she exclaims with a sinister smile).

 

Tatsu: uhh...Right i will remember to wake up on time(he replies with a weary smile).

 

Well im going to my room..call me when lunch is ready..

 

Rika: Roger that..it should be ready in about half an hour nii-chan.

 

With that, Tatsu went to his room upstairs.

 

With his curtains drawn and his door closed, he sat on his bed and wondered...wondered about his past and the present..he didnt expect this kind of reunion..

 

 

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hmm i would of liked to wait a bit longer to see if there would be any replies but still nothing :\..
was it that bad xD..

Anyway it doesn't bother me as this was a personal thing for me..If add more to my story or change it i will change my first post..

Keep your eyes open for future changes xD.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I liked it. To be honest, I'm really curious to find out more about the reunion. Oh, (just my own thought) but I think you should add more about how his sister was more popular than him to get more background and history for the main character. I only have one question: will you continue?

05.jpg

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yes i will COntinue..And thank you for your Suggestion..Like i mentioned in the begining i have three documents..well for my own knowledge i do have the Sister's Information and i did intend to spread that knowledge slowly, BUt i will post hers here.

 

Here is a Unedited thought i have on the Sister RIka

 

 

Rika is Tatsu's younger sister and i have decided to make her a year younger then he is. Her personality is what you would call opposite to Tatsu's..Since she had the attention and the popularity instead of her brother, but it was not her desire to be popular. She was beautiful and smart when she was growing up, and that was what gave her the attention. Due to the shadow that was cast appon her brother, she became saddend by it and started to appreciate her brother more. her looks i thought of are that before she entered her 3rd year of junior high school she had her hair long, silky straight and light brownish blonde. But due to the over populerarity she wanted to have an image change of a sought. she has cut her hair to shoulder leangth. Her hair bangs by her forehead were grown and on her left eye the hair was cut so you can seeher one eye. her hair grew a bit darker so it is now dark brownish black. her eye color is greyish white with a feint cherry blossom pink tint. Her hight is i guess average or could point it out as like a hands hight shorter then her brother. Back in junior high she had a few friends but she had then gone to the same school as her brother..She managed to be alright as she had already made friends with tsunika and reika. 
 
 
Edit: By the way there are 4 Main Characters to my Story.
 
1: Tsunika Maika
2: Reika Kyori(Tsunika's Friend)
3: Motsuki Tatsu.
4: Shiitsu Tanoshi (Relative to Tatsu and Best Friend)
 
There personal Information will come later  ;)
 
Anyway any other information i wouldnt mind telling you as i like the story and would like some Guidance xD.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Wow! Im amazed. I've had story ideas pop into my head a bunch of times, but I could never fully get anything down. (guess writing isnt my thing)

I like the idea of have four main characters. It will allow you to add more events and twist that you can think of. 

Whats your biggest challenge writing this (if you have any)? I mostly had trouble organizing the events I wanted the story to go as.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hmm i guess the main challenge for myself would be motivation and time..I add more stuff to my story only now and then and even rarely lately due to work..But i love writing in this style as its a story i enjoy and i can create as i wish.

The thing about 4 Main characters is due to the fact that the genre for the Story is Romance..So in the end there will be 2 COuples you could say. In the beginning it would seem fairly obvious who the couples will be...But one thing i love the most in story's are plot twists..and most of the time it isnt wise to try guess what is about to happen as i like to think in the opposite direction xD.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I probably wont even notice a plot twist coming (really bad at that). I can understand the time part, I always have something to do, and when I dont Im really tired and dont want to do anything. My favorite genre is romance so this story will probably suck me in. And im aleady going to guess what characters are the couple (even though its kind of impossible right now).

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Well as a Nice plot twist i will mention one of the parts i intend to add to the story at a much later time..i might even change it later...but here are my two favorites and show what i mean by "Darker Feel to the story".

 

(Near the end of First Year HighSchool)
As i lie down on my bed..Alone in my room, i gently lift my right hand..
??: i wonder what this feeling could be..
i mutter to myself..in a low confusing voice.
As i stare into my bare hand, a feeling of emptiness took hold of my chest..and the exhaustion of my body took me away..
When i came too and finaly awoke..i gently saw my hand clenched into a fist..As if trying to grasp hold of something important..
??: I wonder what it could be...Maybe she would know, This mysterious feeling that keeps consumeing me day in and out.
End(Near the end of First Year HighSchool)
 
 
(Second Year HighSchool)
With a pain..that no medicine could cure, this feeling has tormented me and i can not remember since when..This feeling of yearning...I feel like i want something close to me, and yet i do not know what it is that im searching for...Maybe it would be the warmth of a person being close by me, or the sense of being needed by that person..
Maybe this is what you would call..Lo-
...: Tatsu?
My thought's were interupted by an angelic yet quiet voice...
As the rain poured onto my existance...it had felt like this world was all but Grey and white...
as if this world had tried to wash me away..
And yet..Her voice, the voice i grew to love.. pulled me to a world filled with colour and Warmth..
But i..i felt like i didn't deserve that kind of world.
Tatsu: ... .
While im walking alone in this unforgiving world, I wanted to ignore that sweet voice of hers..
I didn't deserve Her, and yet..
While with my thoughts drenched in sorrow..i felt warmth unlike I had ever felt before.
Then i had realised that someone was holding me from behind.
A *click* sound had appeared among the sound of rain, Which had come from her Umbrella..
This warmth that had filled my heart, This magical feeling Brought forth warmth to my face too and then i realised, that, among these countless drops of clear rain falling onto my hair and face...was drops from my eyes, slowly mingling with those of the rain..
Tatsu: Why.., Why me.
as tears fall down his face, he asks her with Wonder.. 
To be Continued....
End(Second Year HighSchool)
 
 
 
Well anyway i intend to make my story long and stretch through there 3 years of High school xD.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

 

Well as a Nice plot twist i will mention one of the parts i intend to add to the story at a much later time..i might even change it later...but here are my two favorites and show what i mean by "Darker Feel to the story".

 

(Near the end of First Year HighSchool)
As i lie down on my bed..Alone in my room, i gently lift my right hand..
??: i wonder what this feeling could be..
i mutter to myself..in a low confusing voice.
As i stare into my bare hand, a feeling of emptiness took hold of my chest..and the exhaustion of my body took me away..
When i came too and finaly awoke..i gently saw my hand clenched into a fist..As if trying to grasp hold of something important..
??: I wonder what it could be...Maybe she would know, This mysterious feeling that keeps consumeing me day in and out.
End(Near the end of First Year HighSchool)
 
 
(Second Year HighSchool)
With a pain..that no medicine could cure, this feeling has tormented me and i can not remember since when..This feeling of yearning...I feel like i want something close to me, and yet i do not know what it is that im searching for...Maybe it would be the warmth of a person being close by me, or the sense of being needed by that person..
Maybe this is what you would call..Lo-
...: Tatsu?
My thought's were interupted by an angelic yet quiet voice...
As the rain poured onto my existance...it had felt like this world was all but Grey and white...
as if this world had tried to wash me away..
And yet..Her voice, the voice i grew to love.. pulled me to a world filled with colour and Warmth..
But i..i felt like i didn't deserve that kind of world.
Tatsu: ... .
While im walking alone in this unforgiving world, I wanted to ignore that sweet voice of hers..
I didn't deserve Her, and yet..
While with my thoughts drenched in sorrow..i felt warmth unlike I had ever felt before.
Then i had realised that someone was holding me from behind.
A *click* sound had appeared among the sound of rain, Which had come from her Umbrella..
This warmth that had filled my heart, This magical feeling Brought forth warmth to my face too and then i realised, that, among these countless drops of clear rain falling onto my hair and face...was drops from my eyes, slowly mingling with those of the rain..
Tatsu: Why.., Why me.
as tears fall down his face, he asks her with Wonder.. 
To be Continued....
End(Second Year HighSchool)
 
 
 
Well anyway i intend to make my story long and stretch through there 3 years of High school xD.

 

 

aaahhhhh, I love it already! You gave me goosebumps. Now im really excited for the story, and may I say you have a real talent with this.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Haha THank you..Just that is enough for me to start cranking on this story i guess xD..Anyway i better go sleep..its 5 Am xD i had to finish my Graphical design course before i went to sleep so xD..ill try write something after work today xD.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Haha THank you..Just that is enough for me to start cranking on this story i guess xD..Anyway i better go sleep..its 5 Am xD i had to finish my Graphical design course before i went to sleep so xD..ill try write something after work today xD.

 

All right. Get some rest and have an awesome day!! (its actually 10:27 pm where I am)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sounds like it will be a great story. From the looks of it you have everything planned out in your head, right? And like Tonyv96 said, you really seem to have a talent with words. I'm looking forward to read more, so keep it up ;)

 

I write too, but I never seem to get where I want to^^"

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Ahh i see.. xD I do think that i think the story or plot through before i start it..and i have also noticed about my wording although i wish my Vocabulary and grammar matched it xD

Well i should get some more free time these days since i have done my studies all thats left is work..but i do have off days..

so during those days i will put my brain to work xD.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Did you ever thought of creating your story into LN or manga, If you have some drawing skills I think it would be a great way of presenting your story. I have a story of my own and I always thought of a way to present it, as I don't have a budget to create it into an anime or VN my options are manga or LN. But my problem is that I don't have drawing skills, especially when it comes to manga style drawing or PC drawing (digital art).

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hmm Drawing..I love to Draw, Although i still lack in alot of areas xD..I kind of got the facial down except ears..and below the neck i struggle xD..i havent tried scenery though might give it a go later..

But yes at first i wanted it as an Anime...Then it shifted to Manga because most manga go into Anime...THen i shifted it to Ln as it would be easier at the moment for myself.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sorry for double posting just wanted to mention something..

 

I plan to devote more time to my story if i can and if possible i would like to hear if anyone has there own thoughts on what they think would benefit the story i am writing..

 

Side note.. I wouldnt mind creating a Manga, I would actually prefer it, So if there is anyone who would like to work with me xD, mostly doing Art and details like that..I would love to create Manga works for and with the FuwaNovel COmmunity.

 

Edit: and as such i have created the Fuwanovel creations for FUwanovel TOpic..

So because of that and maybe if i join SolidBatman i might have less time for my Story..But i will never abandon it..as i love it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

i was pretty surpised to see the time stamp for this topic to be a year old...im amazed that i didnt do muhc for my story for this long, Anyway i managed to add a bit more lately for those who want to know abit more of my story..
I haven't stoped it, i just tend to neglect it which i dont want to..

Anyway here is a bit more.

 

|||||||||||||||

It has been well over 2 years that they last saw each other.. He didn't think they would ever meet up again..It was all thanks to her that he is who he is today..

Tatsu: Tsun-San. It really was you.. . Only you and her knew that Nickname because it was her that gave me the courage to live on and you brought enjoyment and fun back into my life.

Tatsu sat up from his bed and went towards his drawers. He went down and picked up a picture frame..

Tatsu: How could i forget you and her. how could i have forgotton all those fun days we spent together during Middle School.....

Ever since that day, Ever since then i have changed thanks to you.

But….

But it was because of me that..

.....

As he lies back onto his bed with the picture in hand, He starts to remember the past.. The tragic past he doesnt want to remember and the past when he first met her.

..

.

*Sfx*Ding Ding Dong*(The sound to signify Break has started).

With the sound that all the children were waiting for sounded, They all got out of there seats and hurried to the cafeteria...All but one. Tatsu, Siting there with no expression, He slowly got up from his seat to go towards the Cafeteria.

Tatsu: *Sigh Its better to be at the end of the line then being ignored and get cut by someone else into the line.

Even though he was tired of being ignored by his fellow classmates, he didnt have the self confidence to do anything about it. He felt like if he were to say something, that the situation would just get worse.

 

By the time he got there, There wasn't much of a que left already..And by the looks of the Items on the menu, Most have already been sold out.

Tatsu: Luckily my Favorite isnt gone yet..

When Tatsu gets to the counter..

Tatsu: One bowl of Chicken and Rice please.

???: Alright coming up.

One thing he did enjoy..Was that simple talks like the one he had just now was what kept him in check..Since he couldnt have a normal conversation with anyone else.

Once he recieved his Meal he went to his Usual Spot in the Cafeteria..

a Small table in the corner where no one goes Due to the fact that it was small and away from many of the other tables. This small table didnt bother him though, As he liked the solitude and how quiet it is there.

Once he sat down and said his thanks, He started to eat. ... But.

 

 

Rika: Nii-chan?

Tatsu: Hmm..        Sorry Rika i will be there now.

Tatsu slowly Got up rubbing his eyes.

Rika: Were you sleeping?

She asked in wonder.

Many Brothers and sisters you could say hardly ever get to be close due to the so called Sibling rivalry. But these too are differant and can See when the other is hurting.

 

Tatsu: Ah ya, Dont worry im up now.*Opens the door.. Is mother home yet? I didn’t realise it was dark already.

Rika: Yes, she got home not too long ago.

Tatsu: I see Thank you for wakeing me Rika.
He replied with a warm smile, One that Rika loved to see as it made her happy.

Although it was the type that she knew had a sadness to it.

Rika: Nii-chan, Were you dreaming about that time again?
Tatsu: Don’t worry, its in the past now…remember, we need to move on Rika.

As he affirmed that he is alright, he puts his hand on her short hair and rubs it..

Rika: Nii-chan.. haha that’s ticklish..

As they walk side by side they both arrive in the lounge, Although Rika and there mother already had supper, Tatsu sat down at the Dining table and started to eat.

Rika: Sorry I didn’t wake you for Supper Nii-Chan

(He seems to have been worried about something when he got home and then when he started to call out her name…I didn’t want to wake him and take him away from that place.)

Tatsu: Anything made by you is good to eat at any time Rika…Ittadakimasu.

As Tatsu Picks his Chopsticks to eat his food, they drop as suddenly as he picked them up.
He didn’t realise it until now, That his hands were trembling…
He thought the past was all behind him and that he wouldn’t see her again…hoping that it was for the best..

Rika: Nii-chan? Are you ok..Sorry you must still be tired, do you want to have it later?
Tatsu: t t that would be good thanks…rika. I think im going to go for a walk quick to wake myself up..
Motsuki Mother: Don’t go too far or stay out late at this time, but if you happen to pass the convenience store…Get some milk and an ice cream for yourself and Rika.

Tatsu: alright, Will do.

 

 

||||||||||||||

That is a continuation of the story part..For those that are interested on what i am thinking at this moment, i will post a thought of mine for my own story..

This is my Point of view so reading it might seem strange.
This was something that will be put into the story at a later time and is just a though which might change in the future..
it shows the connections between certain events that have and will happen.
||||||||||

Some more thoughts came to mind today..

The connection between Tatsu and Tsunika might seem distance at first, but once they reunite it might also seem close…That is not the case. In my second year high school part im going to add, mentions a girl taking him in her arms in the rain…I didn’t mention “Who that girl is”…Also I didn’t mention who his childhood friend is who cured his Shadow…The personality of the girl is not the same as Tsunika, The childhood friend has a cheerful atmosphere and is always looking to help others…Among my main Characters, There is only one who Resembles that and that is Reika, Tsunika’s Friend…She helped him, and that is how She knew of Tatsu’s Childhood nickname Yuuki Which means bravery. A thought came to mind now, The part where he lies on his bed looking at his hand, also the part in the third year could be apart of this…The reason why he feels conflicted is that his feelings feel Confused, He is unsure if he loves his childhood Friend, or a new found person in his life, Tsunika.. That is one of the Plot twists in my Story…Four main characters, and an unsure ending. I just need to figure out a good reason, why he forgot them and why both sides never tried to contact each other..I cant say that he moved away, because he lived in the junior high near there and made friends with Kitsuji…Could be a dramatic event, a good reason why they never tried to talk to him anymore and a reason why he forgot.. but im unsure how to go about it…I havnt mentioned a father yet so that could be a reason and his mother is alive..HMm a good reason is that he could of caused the death of someone close to Reika or Tsunika..Will think about it..

 

 

|||||||||||||||

When Tsunika gets knocked down the first time her and Tatsu met in the hallway when he was late, She didn’t get a good look at him as he was a bit of a distance and he wasn’t facing her..The second time she gets knocked down, she can see him straight in the face and from the angle, it recalled all the memories she had of him and the terrible past she had hoped to have forgotten.

At first the remembrance Part with him in the cafeteria, I had made it that it was her that helped him become who he is today….but, that I just thought of now was not how it happened...He has gotten his memory mixed up and the reason she called him by his old nickname was because she was friends with someone who had called him that first, Reika..

 

So how it so far..

The person who met him in the cafeteria and helped him get his courage was Reika, When Reika became friends with Tsunika, the three use to play with each other a lot.Alot of this part of the past I am unsure about but somewhere Tatsu’s Sister joined in and had fun with them.Some time after that the “Incident” happened and caused a rift between them..But now that I think about it, if it was really devastating then he wouldn’t of still ahd his courage and his high spirits in the beginning of high school..

 

A Strong thought came to me…the connection could probably be Tatsu’s Father and Tsunika’s father. One thought Was that Tatsu’s father planned a deal with her father that would help her father tremendously but in the end His father betrayed Tsunika’s father and took off with her fathers money and along with the companys future..He deserted his family and never looked back.
as for Tsunika’s Father, He fell tremendously ill and his family started to lose a lot more money..In the end he killed himself.. As for Tsunika, She didn’t blame Tatsu for this, but Tatsu.. He knew it was all his fault..He knew that if he never met her and her father..this wouldn’t of happened.
Both familys Hated and resented Tatsu’s father for what he had done. To not put anymore sadness to her and her family..He decided to stop seeing her and Reika…put a “Rift” between them so that they can hopefully forget this whole ordeal.I didn’t think of this till now but if I will go this route then I might have it that his first year Middle school was there where he was, but then after the incident he changed schools…but not without a word..Last day of his old Middle school..He left a Note inside Reika’s Locker….But what was on it?

 

Present day and I will only put this information im about to write now around his second year of High school..

One day after he has finally managed to feel like old times with Reika and Tsunika and that it was as if the whole thing never happened…Someone who he hoped to never see again returned..

||||||||||
Reason i am showing you this is that i like to hear other peoples opinions on the matter, So tell me what you think..Might not change anything ofcourse but yeh..

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It would seem that I come back to this topic yearly haha

Regardless I wanted to co​me back and post what I have done for those that had followed some of my story...and I hope to get some more who like this type of story...as I like people to understand my story more from the beginning from now on when I do post more of my work, I will post the Story first and secondly I will post information I have on the story or just information I am thinking about in regards to the story..

 

Well like I always say, I hope you enjoy..

Edit: I'm copying and pasting so the format and the way it looks might look messy.

 

||||||||

As Tatsu was about to leave, He was stoped by Rika.

Rika: Nii-san, Will you be alright to go out at this time?

As she said this, she was holding the him of his shirt, sincerely worried about her brother.

Tatsu: I think so, don’t worry Rika. Ill get you your favorite on my way back.

Once he finished he gave her a smile as he knew that she was geniunly worried.

Tatsu: I shouldn’t be long, today had just tired me out. I’ll tell you about it when I get back.

Rika: Alright, Have a safe trip. Also you better get the right one Nii-san!

As she see’s herbrother off, she reluctently removed herhand from his shirt and replied while puffing her cheeks.

Tatsu: ha ha, maybe I should get the one you dislike so that you can puff those cheeks more.

Finishing off, he replies while laughing at her.

Rika: ah mou urasai nii-san!

She then turns on her heels and trots away angrily.

 
Shifting to Tsunika’s Point of View.
 
Tsunika: Tadaima..

Tsunika has just returned home from her first day of High School.

Tsunika Mom: Okaeri Tsunika. Did you enjoy your day?

Tsunika: ah Okaa-san.

When her mother asked her about her day, her face had shown a slightly sad expression, but mainly her feelings itself were confused and shocked.

Tsunika: The day itself was great okaa-san. But at the end…I don’t know what to make of it.

As she finished off her sentence, she tunred to look away.

Tsunika Mom: Ara…Would you like to talk about it?

She was worried from the move that Tsunika might not have coped well from moving to a new town.

Tsunika: It’s alright it wasn’t that big of a deal.

As for Tsunika, She doesn’t want to remind her mother about The ordeal they faced a few years ago..If she were to mention that she was reunited with Tatsu, She will immediately remember the sorrow they faced from the tragedy.

As soon as she realised this she remembered that she must tell “her” that she found him. Tsunika knew that “she” had feelings for him and when he left so suddenly in Middle school, it destroyed “her”.

Tsunika: Okaa-san I need to borrow the phone for a bit.

Tsunika mom: Sure, Going to check up on Reika and how her day went?

When she got the permsion, she grabbed the house phone and went on her way to her room.

Tsunika: Yes, But also I have some good news for her. 

Before she entered her room, she made sure that her mom wouldn’t be able to hear her from in her room.

When she entered, she went and sat on her bed and started to dial her friends number.

She was anxious as they have been loning for this oppurtinity ever since he left..She wonders how she will act uppon hearing about all this.

When the dialing tone ended, she heard another female on the line.

???: moshi moshi, Kyori household.

Tsunika: Ah Reika, Its me Tsunika.

Upon hearing that it was sTsunika on the line, Reika drops the formal speech and started to talk with her best friend.

Reika: Ah Tsuni great timing, I was thinking of calling you myself..But didn’t you just finish school, you called pretty quickly.

Tsunika let off a wry smile upon hearing how energetic she always is.

Tsunika: Well that may be true but I firstly I want to hear it…any earth shattering news about your first day at high school?

This too them was just the normal conversation they would usually have, but from Tsunika’s slightly down toned voice, Reika could tell it was slightly off.

Reika: I wouldn’t call it Earth Shattering…but the school itself is great..Well for an all girls school it is grand as I expected it to be..but it feels bland..probably due to it having no boys..aaand…you find any boy that caught your attention huh Tsuni-san..

While laughing sinisterly, this is one of the aspects of Reika Tsunika likes about her..the playful atmosphere which can dull anyfear and problem that wouldarise..

Tsunika: as a matter of fact there wasone guy..I still have no idea what to say of it..

Tsunika was lost in thought and the conversation was quiet for a few seconds..

Reika: ooo so he was that good looking huh..hehe

Letting out a sinister giggle, she wonders what has Tsunika down like this.

Reika: is it that guy that has you feeling down like this Tsuni.

Lowering her voice lower then it was since she knows this conversation might be a serious one.

Tunika: Well yes in a way.. I don’t know how I really feel about it..Happy, Sad, surprised..more importantly in a sense it comes as good news…mainly for you Rei.

Whie listening, Reika started to become confussed.

Reika: Huh, Why would it be good news for me. Well in one way since im going to an all girls school it would help me but you know how I feel Tsuni..

Tsunika: Haha yes I will never forget it Rei..but that was why I know this comes as good news for you…not good but even great.

Upon hearing the way the conversation has been heading, Reika started to feel hot and her mind was going all over the place.

Reika: Wait you couldn’t possibly mea-

With every word and breath that comes out from Tsunika, Reikas heart beats faster and faster.

With almost tear filled voice she replies to Reika almost breaking out in a cry .

Tsunika: its him…rei..hic…I found him.

Upon hearing Tsunika’s crying words…Reika instantly droped the phone and started to dash out the house….It was a bit too hard to believe…at first she was thinking that it couldn’t be him, not after all this time looking..but when she recalls how the conversation was developing and how Tsunika was softly crying over the phone, makes it undeniable of how true it all was..

Her heart wouldn’t slow down..Her mind kept racing…Its been three and a half years since he disappeared..She has been searching for him, Ever since he left that note that day…she has been longing to find him once more.

Although even if she ran out in a mad search for him..her chances of finding him were nearly zero. Even still, her feelings for him, the feelings she wasn’t able to convey to him in the past..even if she cant convey them or even if he found someone else…she wants to see him, Hear him… in the past, He meant everything to her.

Reika: Its been a long time since you left and ill finally get to see you again…Yuuki-kun.

End of Chapter 2 !!!

 

That would only be my second chapter..and that would be the only part I have in regards to my written story...but in terms of the additional information ill give now would probably be equal to another two chapters...

 

(The following I will give you is from a wordpad I use to type formyself so some of the writing will be in first person towards myself.)

 

||||||||||

 

They met in the first year of their middle school, Afterwards he changed schools and met Kitsuji at his new school. I could also have it that his past and present are two differant towns. and that Tsunika and Reika have moved here to the schools boarding housing. With that, the moment they met gave an even stronger shock as it is asking "Why is he/she here"?
 
I have changed or should say I added quiet a bit of information onto my phone.

One of the ideas I thought of recently was the change of view..But in doing so, I will have to edit my whole story or just addd more information. Firstly, at the part in my story where he had reunited with tsunika at school, he wonders about his past and goes out at night to go to their old hang out spot hoping to meet “her”. At the same time I can have a change of perspective and have it at that Tsunika is having a phone call with “Her” and tells her what had happened at school and who she found had returned. Instantly after hearing that it was Tatsu, She hangs up the phone and runs straight out of the house and heads in the same direction as Tatsu.

Now in regards to why they havnt met in over a few years…Before that I intend to change the school they meet in< I previously mentioned Middle school and then said that he gained popularity in the last two years…This is a contridiction as they are in high school now, The schooling system is Middle school, Junior high and then High School. So I intend to change the time at when Tatsu changed schools to be around the middle of their third year of middle school.. That would let there be around 3 Years of a gap between them…I will put it that they met in the second year of Middle school. This way I can have Tatsu meet Kitsuji and Shiitsu in Junior high. Ok now back to my original topic, Why they hadnt met… Its true if all main characters are in this town then they would of met one day or another…but this town is where Tatsu moved to in the past.. Tsunika and Reika had moved here because Reika was moving due to her family problems and Tsunika moved with her into the school dorms.. Little did they know ofcourse that Tatsu was at the same sschool as Tsunika.

 

Continuing from where I left off in my chapter two…at first I had it that Tsunika was the one that was afraid or scared of Tatsu when the reunited, but thinking about it. He moved away from their previous town because of that incident that he possible was the cause of. So wouldn’t it be more common if it was him that was afraid and scared of his past…ofcourse he is confused and happy about meeting his old friend again but he still wants to put that allbehind him nad he wants Tsunika to live her life without worry…

Now I have to come up with the reason why he wants to go to their old hang out spot and why Reika wants to meet with Tatsu…I just thought that in the past she had unrequieted love towards Tatsu ever since they had talked at the cafeteria..and upon knowing that thiswas where Tatsu hadmoved to, ofcourse she wants to meet him again ever since his sudden dissapearance. She would then recall that letter he left behind in her locker the day he dissapeared. So when Tsunika told her about Tatsu the emotions swelling up just sprung out and made her move instantly towards that place..

 
Nevermind I have been mentioned their old place, their hang out and the place they use to play and such…but that doesn’t make sense since this was the town Tatsu had moved to and hasn’t met them since he moved…so their shouldn’t be any place for them to meet up at…So for now what I will have it be is that Reika will go out and just randomly search for Tatsu and at the same time Tatsu will be out and about just randomly walking to clear his mind about his encounter with Tsunika.

 

||||||||

 

 

That would be all.. I guess all I really would like is how people view the way my story is going and see if its only my personal opinion on how I enjoy my story...

This was a long post but I hope you read to the end. Most of it was just me talking to myself in my notes but I feel like I can understand my story better if I ask myself questions..

 

Hope you enjoyed it and It might be another long time until I write a bit more on this story..Follow like what ever you want if you wish to see more in months time....

 

 

Until then enjoy your day, week, month..

 

 

Arturia

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now


  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

×