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"No:Worse" - my solo-developed VN. Release: March, 16, 2023!


AlexeyIzimov

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I looked at the Steam page but I still feel like I have no idea what the game is about.  Let me explain my thought process to maybe help you refine the presentation.

First I see this:

Quote

"No:Worse" is a beautiful love story unfolding between two vulnerable individuals with kind but fragile hearts. Throughout it, you will encounter moments of despair, heartbreak, and deceit. And conquering these flaws lies entirely in your hands.

This is extremely vague.  Two vulnerable individuals?  The title picture has two girls in it.  Is this yuri?

Next I look at the screenshots.  There's no text.  My first-pass judgement is that you're hiding the text for some reason.  Is it machine-translated? (I've been conditioned to ignore Steam videos because they're often not informative, and only later did I realize the videos show gameplay with text.)

Finally I get to the full description.  Here I finally learn that we have a male protagonist.  But then I'm slammed with several confusing messages.  "He is about to graduate from Tokyo University of the Arts".  So he's 22?  But "he has four wonderful girls".  Is that a roundabout way of saying daughters?  So he's not 22?  Or did he start getting girls pregnant at the age of 12?  Why is he studying art with very little prospects for a stable income now or in the future if he's a single parent of 4 daughters?  "His alma mater, Tokyo University of Arts".  Wait, I thought he hadn't graduated yet???  This was supposed to be a love story between two characters.  Who is even the female heroine?  Is it one of his 10-year-old daughters?!  At this point I somehow have less idea what this game is about than when I started.

You need to work on the presentation if you want to get first-time viewers who happen onto the Steam page to not hit the back button.

Edited by sanahtlig
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"Girls" means "girlfriends". About alma mater - I think you're right, but it's a pre-graduation already, so it's not a big mistake. Why is it a love story between two characters, but there're 4 of them? You can find out it in the end of the game.

Edited by AlexeyIzimov
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