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adamstan

ATRI -My Dear Moments- to be released on 2020-06-19

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14 minutes ago, adamstan said:

I'm just starting it now :) First impression is positive :)

For now I'm trying to read it in Japanese, we'll see how long will I endure before switching back to translation ;)

you can have both at the same time on screen

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Yeah, and that's great feature :) It seems to work the same way as Sanoba Witch (same engine?)

*****************

I see that protagonist has not only face, but also the sprite. Now that's pretty uncommon.

Edited by adamstan

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So far I'm really liking what I see - art, music, characters, everything works.

I'm reading JP version, sometimes briefly checking it against translated version. From what I see, translation seems solid, although it's rather liberal - but I guess not many will complain, since they retained honorifics :P It carries the meaning across, but I feel like sometimes the tone or nuance seems different. Also, some of the jokes and references are different. So I'm sticking with JP for now :)

Small example:

Spoiler

 

Scene with Minamo bringing food

Original text:
ATRI:「食料を外部から持参する女……検索中検索中……」
ATRI:「出ました、“通い妻”」
びしっ。アトリが水菜萌を指さす。
MINAMO:「やや、やだなぁアトリちゃん。私そんないいものじゃないよぉ…」
ATRI:「そして、法的な婚姻関係になく家にいるわたしは、“内縁の妻”」

My rough translation:
ATRI: A woman bringing food... searching... searching...
ATRI: Found: "Commuting wife"!
Atri points at Minamo.
MINAMO: Oh no, Atri-chan, stop it... I'm not that great...
ATRI: And then it makes me, who lives with him despite not being legally married, 'common-law wife'.

Official translation:
ATRI: "Searching database for 'woman plying man with food'..."
ATRI: "Aha, 'the way to a man's heart is through his stomach.' I know what you're up to!"
Atri points at Minamo.
MINAMO: "Th-Th-That's not what this is! I'm just trying to help..."
ATRI: "However, I still have you beat! As the woman who sleeps with him everynight,I am far closer to the definition of 'wife'!"

Not bad, but I feel like in this case they could leave it closer to original, especially since it feels like a small reference to another Asta's work, ASFOS, where Saya was called "Commuting wife" ;) But still, not really big thing.

BTW - liberal translation with honorifics makes pretty interesting case ;)

Edited by adamstan

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This topic is unusually quiet for a new VN. Is anyone else reading this?
Yesterday I reached the point where

Spoiler

 

Natsuki and Ryuuji search the city looking for the lady that was Natsuki's first love years ago, and then they start to realize that it

Spoiler

might have been ATRI.

 

The previous arc, with

Spoiler

 

working together to build power generator in school, was great. It seems that Asta really loves this trope - whole IMHHW and ASFOS are built around it after all :D

The scene with Ririka reading the book on the roof using the small generator they built during the lesson really moved me.

 

This VN has potential to be good nakige, at least for me - it has some good comedic moments, and at the same time, it's pretty good at tugging at my heartstrings. ATRI is lovely, I also really like supporting cast. Ririka, Ryuuji, Minamo, hell, even Catherine :P

Spoiler

(especially after her true identity is revealed and her occupation change ;) )

I don't know how much of the story is left there, but I assume that quite a bit, since I haven't even reached second choice point yet (out of supposedly three, according to walkthroughs). Since I'm reading untranslated, it's of course slower - I now have ~12 hours on the clock, so perhaps I'd have already finished the English version. But that's not bad - that way I can stay in this world for a bit longer ;) So far I'm really loving it. If they don't fuck it up in some major way in the remaining part of the story, it will deinitely be one of the higher-ranked VNs in my list :)

Also, to clarify my point on the translation from the previous post - it's liberal, but that doesn't mean it's bad. From what I have seen, it's actually pretty good. @alwayslonesome on r/vn expressed it nicely:

Quote

the English TL is really something special. It takes a truly extraordinary amount of liberties with the original text, but everything is done so deliberately and competently that the text just sings with fluidity. It really reads like a text that was transcreated from the ground up to read just as elegantly in English, whether it's relatively minor changes such as removing clumsy artifacts of the original text such as the stage-like directions, or rearranging consecutive lines to sound more natural, to very consequential decisions such as reinterpreting or adding its own jokes, or the literary flourishes it adds to the more prosaic passages. I honestly wouldn't even be surprised if the translation was written concurrently with the scenario, or that the TL staff had a direct line of communication with the scenarist. It would at least explain how the TL could possibly dare to be so bold with some of its decisions, while still managing to be so incredibly true to the original text.

It makes me want to reread the VN in English after completing it in JP.

Edited by adamstan

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Yeah, I'm reading it, and I think I'm nearing the end now and expect to be done pretty shortly. Great read so far, and yes, while I haven't compared it to the original Japanese, the English translation is definitely solid, although it contains a ton of typos and misplaced words (to the point where I'm questioning if the script was proofread at all).

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My initial experience with ATRI was very mixed. Minutes into game, I was trust into a story that seemed so hilariously bad, cliched and deprived of any sort of coherence or literal realism, I wanted to put my fist through the monitor. Another issue is that Konno Asta is good at writing heartfelt romance stories, but extremely bad at anything outside that requires him to step out of his bubble; not to say the writing itself is at most mediocre when it comes to dialogue and outright bland on everything else, including actual prose. It's just baffling to me he didn't even bother to do any sort of research, when writing the prologue. It really devalues the entire game afterwards and at the same time, forces you to greatly lower your expectations, thus lowering the enjoyment. There are moments, when the script shines, but these are an exception, not the rule.

I hope the later parts will make me change my mind, because so far what I've seen was severely disappointing to me. I came expecting something along the lines of YKK or Aria, but the story doesn't even try to properly utilize it's setting.

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37 minutes ago, Seraphim88 said:

Yeah, I'm reading it, and I think I'm nearing the end now and expect to be done pretty shortly.

According to the walkthrough there are two endings - good and bad, and after completing both, True Ending is unlocked in the main menu.

35 minutes ago, Narcosis said:

Another issue is that Konno Asta is good at writing heartfelt romance stories, but extremely bad at anything outside that requires him to step out of his bubble; not to say the writing itself is at most mediocre when it comes to dialogue and outright bland on everything else, including actual prose. It's just baffling to me he didn't even bother to do any sort of research, when writing the prologue.

Do you mean that the setting (sea level constantly rising without any apparent reason) lacks proper scientific explanation? I think I had my expectations set differently, since, because of ATRI herself (extremely lifelike robot girl) I already treated the whole thing not as Sci-Fi, but as some kind of fairytale, so it doesn't bother me. And when treated like that, it is very enjoyable, at least for me.

Also, remembering previous Asta's works I've read (IMHHW, ASFOS and Adventure of a Lifetime) - this VN is in line with those, it's "typical Asta". And he seems to reuse many tropes from his previous works. So if someone dislikes his writing, then they won't enjoy ATRI, and vice versa.

Edited by adamstan

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6 minutes ago, Narcosis said:

It's just baffling to me he didn't even bother to do any sort of research, when writing the prologue. It really devalues the entire game afterwards and at the same time, forces you to greatly lower your expectations, thus lowering the enjoyment.

I'm not sure if you're referring to the sea levels rising, details about diving or something else, but none of that stuff really bothered me. I can imagine it might if you were hoping for something completely realistic, but that wasn't really my expectation in the first place so it hasn't affected my opinion in a bad way. If anything, I actually enjoy the writing in ATRI a lot and the translation feels very vivid and fluent. (especially compared to something like Forgotten Trace: Thanatos in Nostalgia, which just released)

10 minutes ago, adamstan said:

According to the walkthrough there are two endings - good and bad, and after completing both, True Ending is unlocked in the main menu.

I saw the bad ending yesterday and have been playing a couple of hours more since then. I thought I was on track to the true ending now, but I guess I'll need to view another one before unlocking that then. In any case, I hope it ends on a positive note, but I know how these stories about robots tend to go so my mind is kinda getting prepared for having its hopes crushed.

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10 minutes ago, Seraphim88 said:

In any case, I hope it ends on a positive note, but I know how these stories about robots tend to go so my mind is kinda getting prepared for having its hopes crushed.

Yeah... (Yumemi... :rubycry:) but OTOH, To Heart's Multi, 6008.jpgone of the first famous moe robot heroines, got her happy ending, so there's still some hope, right? Also, according to that walkthrough, True End is continuation of good ending, whatever it is.

But then, even though I still have long way to go, I wouldn't be very surprised, if final pairing turned out to be Natsuki x Minamo.

 

 

Edited by adamstan

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Yesterday I gushed about heartwarming piano scene, and then, just after that the twist hits me like a ton of bricks...

I really hadn't expected that development.
 

Spoiler

 

That ATRI is close to "death" is one thing, and, having read many KEY stories, one could guess it by her increasing troubles to get up etc. But, "Stop pretending that you have a heart!", and her response - that was heavy. Interesting subversion of popular robo-waifu tropes.

 

 

Edited by adamstan

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Yeah, that kinda caught me by surprise too!

Spoiler

To be honest, it's remarkable in a way, since she's basically just exhibiting what should be considered completely normal humanoid behavior. It's really nothing we should be surprised about, but we as readers just sort of started making assumptions on our own based on her external appearance and the way she acts. A very well executed plot twist, I'd say!

 

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On 6/21/2020 at 9:54 PM, adamstan said:

So far I'm really liking what I see - art, music, characters, everything works.

I'm reading JP version, sometimes briefly checking it against translated version. From what I see, translation seems solid, although it's rather liberal - but I guess not many will complain, since they retained honorifics :P It carries the meaning across, but I feel like sometimes the tone or nuance seems different. Also, some of the jokes and references are different. So I'm sticking with JP for now :)

Small example:

  Hide contents

 

Scene with Minamo bringing food

Original text:
ATRI:「食料を外部から持参する女……検索中検索中……」
ATRI:「出ました、“通い妻”」
びしっ。アトリが水菜萌を指さす。
MINAMO:「やや、やだなぁアトリちゃん。私そんないいものじゃないよぉ…」
ATRI:「そして、法的な婚姻関係になく家にいるわたしは、“内縁の妻”」

My rough translation:
ATRI: A woman bringing food... searching... searching...
ATRI: Found: "Commuting wife"!
Atri points at Minamo.
MINAMO: Oh no, Atri-chan, stop it... I'm not that great...
ATRI: And then it makes me, who lives with him despite not being legally married, 'common-law wife'.

Official translation:
ATRI: "Searching database for 'woman plying man with food'..."
ATRI: "Aha, 'the way to a man's heart is through his stomach.' I know what you're up to!"
Atri points at Minamo.
MINAMO: "Th-Th-That's not what this is! I'm just trying to help..."
ATRI: "However, I still have you beat! As the woman who sleeps with him everynight,I am far closer to the definition of 'wife'!"

Not bad, but I feel like in this case they could leave it closer to original, especially since it feels like a small reference to another Asta's work, ASFOS, where Saya was called "Commuting wife" ;) But still, not really big thing.

BTW - liberal translation with honorifics makes pretty interesting case ;)

 

Whats the point of having a liberal translation and japanese text on screen? They're likely very different often enough.

Edited by Stormwolf

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38 minutes ago, Stormwolf said:

 

Whats the point of having a liberal translation and japanese text on screen? They're likely very different often enough.

Yes, that's why I'm reading with JP text only on screen. I plan to reread it in English after finishing JP version.

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I'm still very early in the story, I guess. These last few days I didn't read bc I decided to binge Your lie in april. But as soon as I finish it, I'll read more.

About the setting, I do feel that they should work more around the issue. I'd love to know why the sea level rose and more of the consequences to the outside world. It'd be interesting to have a more detailed explanation on how ATRI really works, since until now, she simply is good in everything the plot needs her to be.

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56 minutes ago, Silvz said:

more detailed explanation on how ATRI really works,

Yeah, there's more focus on ATRI's "internals" (and her past) later on, with some interesting twists as well. But still, at it's core it's nakige and the setting is just that - the setting ;) I still think that it's best to treat is as a fairytale, that just happens to use technology instead of magic ;)

ところで

I just finished True Ending, and I'm in tears :rubycry:

This VN is nakige that seems to be very good at tugging at my heartstrings. It was great read, and while I recognized tropes from many other works, it just all worked well together. Judging by the length and unknown publisher, I seriously didn't expect it to be that good. Some of the ATRI's backstory reminded me a bit of Tanaka Romero's writing. Obviously there are also many KEY influences - it's almost unavoidable when you're making nakige ;)

All in all, it was great, I can rate it on the same level as Kanon or Summer Pockets with confidence - so it's 8.5/10 from me.

Edited by adamstan

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