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Factory Of Souls


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Hi guys!

I'm a young author and I created "Factory of Souls", a sci-fi visual novel set in a world beyond death.

 

What is the Factory of the Souls?

The Factory of Souls (FoS) is a science fiction visual novel game based on the novel of the same name published in Italy.

 

A visual novel based on a novel?

That’s right! FoS is a science fiction novel set in a world beyond death and it’s inspired by the science fiction masterpieces of the golden years of the genre. It is an original book, in that it is raw and uncensored, but at the same time profound in its philosophical reflections and in the issues it tackles. I have tried to create a work that is both atmospheric and profound, exploring in depth the human and psychological facets of the various characters.

 

What is FoS not?

FoS is not a visual novel for children, nor a commercial story aimed at teens. Neither is it a shallow work made up purely of dialogues: indeed, as well as fast-moving parts, with plenty of action, it contains slower, more descriptive passages, intended to be thought provoking. FoS contains some violence and nudity because, although the genre is science fiction, the aim is to present the situations realistically, but it is not a pornographic work, and these aspects are not central to the plot.

 

Where is it set?

FoS is set in a world after death that is neither heaven nor hell. It is an insidious and mysterious place, in which an artificial underground complex, with no known purpose, extends over thousands of square miles. The novel’s various characters move though this dark world of metallic machinery, where humanity is regenerated, striving to understand the meaning of this new world and their part in it.

 

And the illustrations?

I have opted for illustrations with a high level of detail, produced in an original style that differs from that of classic Japanese visual novels.

It takes a long time to produce the illustrations, and your support through Patreon is crucial if we are to go on producing quality material. In addition, supporters will have access to uncensored versions of some of the illustrations.

 

What is the current project status?

The novel in the original language (Italian) is complete. We are now in the process of translating it into English and creating the illustrations and the sprites for the visual novel. As soon as each step is complete, we will release a new version of the visual novel. The version currently online contains the Prologue and Chapters 1-2. Your feedback is very much appreciated to improve the quality of the work.

 

How to play?

You can play the game online for free at the website:

www.factoryofsouls.com

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Read as a unregistered user yesterday. My feedback: 

This first point may not be fair as I know your group isn't a professional VN studio, but I wanted to tell you anyway. This OELVN will not interest those whom are used Japanes VNs like me. Firstly, I do not like your prologue at a all. The background use of the very first scene is jarring to me. The prologue also had a lot of scenes that doesn't correlates to one another and frankly feels very meaningless to me. Example being one scene, the female protag is discussing with her boyfriend over an important life decision. The next scene, this seems to be completely ignored. Although now that I think about it, you may had decided to structured it this way, but I (really) don't like it.

Also, I feel there's an over-excessive use of words to dramatise the story. Feels very draggy. I think it would be better if you just cut out the entire prologue and condense it into chapter 1, or make it a lot shorter (maybe use something like a flashback sequence). It would be far better this way.

Most importantly, the prologue and chapter 1 is very boring to read through for me. Not interesting and doesn't capture my attention at all. One point is I came in with certain expectations after reading through everything in 1st page (especially the artwork of the 2 main Protag) and the actual novel is nothing like that.

Lastly, I ran into technical issues. I ran into an error after chapter 1 (assuming you intend to let users read more than chapter 1). Also, several scenes in several scenes did not load the artwork in some newer browsers like Firefox Quantum (loads fine in waterfox and the old Internet Explorer)on windows 10 fall creator's update. Doesn't make a good impression.

I'm sorry, but I don't think your VN will succeed unless things improve soon....

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On 4/10/2018 at 5:17 PM, Factory Of Souls said:

It is an original book, in that it is raw and uncensored, but at the same time profound in its philosophical reflections and in the issues it tackles.

 

Just an FYI, please don't say the above about your book. Author to author, it makes you sound arrogant. Other people can call your book profound and raw. You can't. 

Also, this is me nitpicking, but there are no original books anymore. Don't you know the last TRULY original book was Abbott's Flatland? (slightly tongue-in-cheek, but seriously, there is no such thing as originality anymore. Everything is based off/inspired by everything else now.)

Edited by milkteebaby
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