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Thatcomicguy

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Two of my favourite jokes are a bit rude so if not really into that... well you're shit outta luck there then.

 

First one's a bit of a moral's question. 

 

You and your Jack, have been horse riding all day and now it's time to come drop from the saddle and take a break. But see Jack's having a bit of trouble, as his legs have cramped and he's now stuck on the horse. So do you... Help Jack off the horse?

 

The other is.

 

I hate guys that boast about having Big Dicks.

I have a medium Dick... it talks to Ghosts.

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I bring you a beautiful and tragic fairy tale about betrayal and friendship that I found in a Touhou game. Enjoy.

Title: An old hag and a kitten

In a old rickety house... There lived a cat which was afraid of water. The fact that it was afraid of water is never used in the tale. The cat was living together with its master, a fluffy fox. This fox could earn a lot of money when she made a serious effort, but I digress. 
Fox had many lifestyle diseases and one day she asked the kitten "bring me some oil" and the kitten went to look for it. The kitten walked into a hag with an umbrella. She was wearing a weird hat. She told the kitten she was homeless. The kind kitten thought she would escort the hag to her house. But the kitten remembered her task and took the hag to Hell halfway (This is some hardcore kitten). 
Having finished her task, the kitten went home. Just in front of it, the hag had a conflict with the fox. A fight to death between two equal super-females erupted and no holds were barred. With two of them just glaring at each other, you could see their mental power burning out. "What's up with her? It's like I have an icicle up my ass!", "What's with this feeling... It's like I have fire sticks up my ass". And the fox tried to gamble: "No matter how strong you may be, you can't transform like I can! Can you transform into a bean? Surely it must be too hard for you". The kitten was sleeping by the halogen heater, ignoring them.
The hag got serious at those words and turned into a small bean. And then she rotted. At that very moment, the fox said "Aha, an opening! Prepare to die!" and with lightning speed, she ate the hag who has turned into a bean. And that is how she managed to punish the scary hag.
And the kitten and the fox rejoiced and lived happily until the fox died from diarrhoea. The end!

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8 minutes ago, Dreamysyu said:

 

 

4 minutes ago, MaggieROBOT said:

I bring you a beautiful and tragic fairy tale about betrayal and friendship that I found in a Touhou game. Enjoy.

Title: An old hag and a kitten

In a old rickety house... There lived a cat which was afraid of water. The fact that it was afraid of water is never used in the tale. The cat was living together with its master, a fluffy fox. This fox could earn a lot of money when she made a serious effort, but I digress. 
Fox had many lifestyle diseases and one day she asked the kitten "bring me some oil" and the kitten went to look for it. The kitten walked into a hag with an umbrella. She was wearing a weird hat. She told the kitten she was homeless. The kind kitten thought she would escort the hag to her house. But the kitten remembered her task and took the hag to Hell halfway (This is some hardcore kitten). 
Having finished her task, the kitten went home. Just in front of it, the hag had a conflict with the fox. A fight to death between two equal super-females erupted and no holds were barred. With two of them just glaring at each other, you could see their mental power burning out. "What's up with her? It's like I have an icicle up my ass!", "What's with this feeling... It's like I have fire sticks up my ass". And the fox tried to gamble: "No matter how strong you may be, you can't transform like I can! Can you transform into a bean? Surely it must be too hard for you". The kitten was sleeping by the halogen heater, ignoring them.
The hag got serious at those words and turned into a small bean. And then she rotted. At that very moment, the fox said "Aha, an opening! Prepare to die!" and with lightning speed, she ate the hag who has turned into a bean. And that is how she managed to punish the scary hag.
And the kitten and the fox rejoiced and lived happily until the fox died from diarrhoea. The end!

 

e31.jpg

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