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Fuwa Confession: I Have to Take a Complex Decision


Sendu

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I'm just a new member on Fuwanovel, but I feel the community pretty warm. We haven't had the occasion of knowing each other that much, but being motivated by the Fuwa confession thread, and by the fact the community is always open-minded and willing to share thoughts and help each other, I'm writing and posting this. It's my first time in my life I'm not able to take a decision, and that's because is something it could influence all my future life.
I'm an EU student, I cannot study in my country. My family's not that poor, but the situation is very difficult to explain, my father's holding most of the income and the previous children, my step brother and sis', already took most of the money (with the help of their mother), and they really did nothing good in their life. So I've never had that much of an occasion or possibility in my life. After a lot, really a lot of difficult and complex situations with my parents, I went on a long journey and learned a lot of useful life stuff.
Now I am studying, without money's not simple at all. I can get money from Denmark in order to study, the only requirement is that I find a part time job with crazy work hours and treated much worse than any Danish being a foreigner (in Denmark). Studying and working with these conditions, it will eventually bring you to a different amount of money per month by the government depending on many variables, but if you don't waste them, you can live here (not in the capital, but in the smaller cities, yes).
I don't like Denmark, I never liked it. Young people are kind of nice, old ones are often racist. But even the young ones are so difficult to get along with, the country is small, there is not so much to do (except alcohol and so..) and is not surprising that Scandinavia is the area with the biggest % of depression in the world (you've to see to understand, and I've been traveling all of it, from the "big" cities to the deepest countries and the high freezing mountains). I'm originally from Italy, I went proudly away from my country in the hope of better possibilities, but I admit I would gladly go back to my country, perhaps in bigger cities rather than in my small native ones, if I could have the chance.
Of course, like many here, I'd love to live in Japan. Mine's not weaboo stuff, I love the Asian culture. I actually love their strong educational system for personal reason. The geography, the climate and the people, I heard food's not bad too.
I am a high school dropout (I stopped going to HS), not for my choice. So most of my possibilities usually involve International Baccalaureate (IB) where I can get high school certification studying in English (and Japanese at the same time too, really great). That's what I'm doing in Denmark, in deserted areas while learning a language I don't even like (perhaps I hate Denmark a little bit due to all the problems I went through and for the current Danish behaviour towards foreigners, I saw non Danish homeless tears in my own eyes, I had very hard times too, with the help of truly fake NGOs too).
There are possibilities in Japan, great ones. For example, a school named UWC ISAK in Nagoya gives you full need based scholarship and free access to a dorm, so you can even socialize, get to know and fit into the Japan culture, and put your mind in studying and developing yourself for real as well. I'm sure if one wants to study there are scholarship possibilities for higher studies too, especially the merit based ones.
Denmark is expensive as crazy, I eat like shit because I'm always broke and food is so expensive. I'm going to pay at the least EUR 1300-1500 to live 3 months here (cheap as hell, I studied all the supermarkets and made tables with nutritional values and cost to keep the budget low. I only pay for a shared apartment and food). Some money is already spent, but I still have EUR 1200, with that money I could flight to Japan and get enrolled in a school there (when I arrived in Denmark, I lived as a homeless for 2 months, I can live quite cheaply).
Now, things get a little more complicated. The IB system usually puts an age limit, 19 years old, and I'm already 19 years old going on the 20s. It's not a strict rule, though, any school can choose what they want to do. But I'm pretty sure 99% state they don't enrol people who're 19 if not in the last year of the program (it's a 2 year program, with a preparation course of 1 year if you don't qualify for the 1st year). My school state the same in the website. Now, here's the fact: I went a day in this IB school I'm attending in Denmark, and I just talked, I was 100% sure they would not enroll me for my age as Danish people are so strict on everything. But, they told me sometimes they make exceptions, and I've got enrolled with a simple interview and not so much of questions (plus, I've got enrolled after the school was already started). In my class at the least a 30% is over 18yo, and many people are over the age limit in all the years here. I don't know about the Nagoya school or other IB schools in Japan, but it could be that they do the same. Nevertheless, I think exceptions like this are made with a little of smooth talking and when they can see your face clearly and hear you speaking with your mouth in front of them, not by e-mail for sure, and probably not by phone too.

The fact is, I really don't know if I should spend money in Denmark or just go to Japan. I feel like going to Japan is a risk (but, all my life and the travels also have been at risk, and Japan wouldn't be the worse about the situation I went through for sure). I feel like staying in Denmark is a risk too, a risk of living like shit never fulfilling any dreams. A life of struggling in shit jobs, living in deserted areas, and never being able to actually move to Japan, but spending every month all the money to live in Denmark. I'm quite sure I heard of so many people who never fulfilled their dreams and regret all their life. It's also very hard if not impossible to keep my motivation in studying here, I'm great at studying, really, but I feel like it's going to be harder and harder living such a life in Denmark (I'm already losing motivation here). This situation has been in my mind for so many weeks, and I'm so scared of taking the wrong choice that will influence all my future. You guys, I read that some of you are life veterans here, I want to ask to those and all the Fuwa members: what would you suggest me?

PS.: I thought this was a little too long to fit in the Fuwanovel confession thread, so I opened a new one here.

I'm sorry for the long thread, and I sincerely appreciate any kind of help.

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Wow, this is pretty heavy, but I would say... If you actually feel you have a real chance to make it into a Japanese college and get that scholarship, go for it. But, Japan is also expensive and while it might seem welcoming for foreigners studying there or tourists, it can also be quite xenophobic. Denmark, in the end, is one of the best countries in the world to live in - obviously not from everyone's perspective, but Japan is not a wonderland either, every country has it's problems and can screw you over. 

Whatever you choose, good luck, I hope you'll be able to change your life in the end. :)

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@Plk_Lesiak

I need to say my opinion too here. I heard a lot of people saying good things about Denmark. It's all old myths, now they're changing all the system and they're so racist on the new politics. You cannot imagine what kind of situation I've been in, of course not when I was traveling, but when I started living here. Japan's expensive and it's true, but after Denmark all is relative. I met a lot of Czech and Polish guys in troubles here (the Czech is my dearest friend here), just for the sake of information, things changed a lot from the past in the "happiest country of the world". I like Japan am being Xenophobic as I love their culture and I don't like globalization and tourism, so I'm quite fine in having troubles to fit in Japan, I hope then once they see your efforts to live in Japan and learn what's Japan really like over a long time (years and years), they consider you part of the family.
PS.: I don't really have any idea if I stand a chance over that school or any IB school in Japan, I could also end up in the street and end up my money. But, it was the same situation when I landed in Denmark to study. What's bugging me is, is it better to live your life unhappy where you don't feel happy or to go and risk? Both of them are a risk, risk of not having a future vs risk of living on the street or whatever. Perhaps, possibilities can come even in the worse of the case in Japan (actually, I was in a kind of desperate situation when I've got enrolled for the school, it was even without proper paper and it was a long time I was trying to get out of living on the street in DK).
I had an healthy body, but it was reduced so poorly while fed by DK NGOs, I've never seen stuff like this in Italy (you can see my hate here, they buy expensive crap that don't feed you and cook normal or cheap meals where they put a fee, and they receive donations as NGOs). I can hopefully go to Japan with some money to buy food, but even if I'd end up in the worst of the case, I've already gotten out of troubles here, and if I get out of the troubles there, this time it'll be what I really dreamed.But I'm so confused. My plans were to work in Japan a day, but I don't feel that happy here.
I'm sorry if there's a little of anger in this reply, it's not anything caused by you anyway.

Edited by Sendu
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One thing I kind of question is whether or not Japan have a strong school system. As I understand it they usually do test using multiple choice. Because of this and the fact that they use a lot of time studying they score well on international tests that are also multiple choice. This way of testing is however quite flawed. It makes it so that people only care about small pieces of information that is relevant in those types of tests, which makes it so that they usually ignore things like broader context. I also heard from a friend of mine who has studied in Japan for almost a year that the japanese people generally are really bad at discussing things during the class even if asked, and there is a lack of building ones own opinions on matters. While this can work in subject like mathematics it doesn't go well with things like history, biology.

Ofc I am not discuraging you from going to Japan though I would advise you to research different important things about the country before you make your choice rather than base everything on assumptions. 

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Hm, to be honest the situation you pose is a very difficult one to be in. I don't really want to give any direct advice because in the end it's your life bro, but if you have to choose between something that will make you unhappy your entire life then just risk it and go to Japan, I mean, what do you have to lose at this point?

Then again, going the "safe" route is also a viability. I'm not going to debate here whether your choice of going to Denmark was a good one or not (I personally would've chosen a country that's close to Italy, living there is not particularly expensive and life's pretty good) but then again, I'd just go for it, so there you go. People do a lot of things without previous planning and sometimes things just pan out. Life is a bitch, but to be honest that's how it's going to be always forever and ever, so why not just doing whatever you feel like it will make it bearable?

That's all I can say about the matter. I wish you happiness no matter what option you choose, even if it's easier said than done.

 

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16 minutes ago, bakauchuujin said:

One thing I kind of question is whether or not Japan have a strong school system. As I understand it they usually do test using multiple choice. Because of this and the fact that they use a lot of time studying they score well on international tests that are also multiple choice. This way of testing is however quite flawed. It makes it so that people only care about small pieces of information that is relevant in those types of tests, which makes it so that they usually ignore things like broader context. I also heard from a friend of mine who has studied in Japan for almost a year that the japanese people generally are really bad at discussing things during the class even if asked, and there is a lack of building ones own opinions on matters. While this can work in subject like mathematics it doesn't go well with things like history, biology.

Ofc I am not discuraging you from going to Japan though I would advise you to research different important things about the country before you make your choice rather than base everything on assumptions. 

 

Yes, but still, they give full scholarships to foreigners. They advise you not do part time job while some countries out here, even recommend/force you to do so (I think it's entirely true that you need to focus yourself into studying and living a college age, work can wait, and I'm one who worked. Who says work is good, I think, is because of becoming an adult, but you'll have less time for sure for all the college life one should be living IMHO). I should have said more regarding my statement, but it was something personal I read on what they study and how, on ja.wikipedia.org. I don't know how good they are and I read many bad google reviews for all the schools and some crazy stories too. I think they're very strict, and I think there are good and bad students everywhere. I had the impression when I looked up stuff that the family/society supports much more school and academic studies, compared to Europe. But I should definitely look up more here and see with my own eyes before judging upon it. I definitely think if you're a good student, you stand a good change of something good as a job or profession in Japan (you stand a change where you are motivated, I think). Nowadays things could also be changed, there's less money in Europe to spend and in Japan too, probably.

6 minutes ago, Kiriririri said:

Just go to Japan and live in a manga cafe tbh

I read of people living in manga cafe. But isn't that expensive? I did something like this once years and years ago. I think it would cut 50% of my money/month, at the least. I think it'll be around $15/night. If I've real problems sleeping somewhere will be the latest of the troubles.

 

14 minutes ago, bakauchuujin said:

Btw convenient store food in Japan is quite cheap. 

 

I found a fantastic e-book for bodybuilders on a low budget as I wanted to build body again after losing it as a homeless. I made tables to buy only the very cheapest and best food in Denmark(vegetables, carbs, proteins, and all the macros included), it's not going to be impossible in Japan for food, at the least. If perhaps I can't cook my food, it's going to be more expensive, but definitely, I think less than Denmark.


PS.: I'll call that school and ask only general question regarding age, I think it's going to be the same stuff I can read on the website, but perhaps I can know something more. Also, the school enrolling process is closed now, it will start back later on in 2020-2021 (JP school system), so that's going to be something more where they'd need to close an eye. That's about Nagoya's IB school, regarding the other ones I only know that they're very expensive.

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@Barry Benson

 

A big part of me actually thinks the same. It's better living like shit following our dreams, then living a life you never wanted to and never had risked. Regarding choosing country near Italy, I couldn't have a choice, to my knowledge only Denmark has got both free school/university and government support (which special requirements for non-Danish citizen i.e. part time jobs and paying enough taxes. Also, if you get to live in Denmark they earn all back very fast, so no wonder they can provide those moneys). My country can't that much help me because my parents have the money so (but I'm adult too for law), otherwise the normal choice would be getting good grades in Italy and move on a scholarship.

----------------------------------------------------------

By the way, thank you all for the support, I'm really glad to be able to write on Fuwa. I was kind of not sure if writing personal stuff or not, but I definitely need some opinions. Here's the decision is bigger than my experiences.

 

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10 minutes ago, Sendu said:

 

A big part of me actually thinks the same. It's better living like shit following our dreams, then living a life you never wanted to and never had risked. Regarding choosing country near Italy, I couldn't have a choice, to my knowledge only Denmark has got both free school/university and government support (which special requirements for non-Danish citizen i.e. part time jobs and paying enough taxes. Also, if you get to live in Denmark they earn all back very fast, so no wonder they can provide those moneys). My country can't that much help me because my parents have the money so (but I'm adult too for law), otherwise the normal choice would be getting good grades in Italy and move on a scholarship.

Could have tried Finland :Kappa: 

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Oh yeah, I was kind of surprised when I have read you are from Finland (we've got people from all over the globe, West to East and South to North). I was interested in some intentional communities in Finland, but eventually I went up North-West to Norway. It's actually the only Nordic country, I haven't been in too along with the Island and the several. islands. Any old classmates of mine went to Finland and said it was amazing. I missed the sauna for sure!

Edited by Sendu
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Contact the Italian embassy in Japan and ask them if they can forward you information or an email address of a person or organisation that can offer you advice regarding educational and work options in Japan. Try to find expats websites, they should have people you can email to if you're looking for information. 

There are a few youtubers online that blog about living in Japan for the perspective of a 'gaijin' and living there on a budget. I used to watch their videos, they're pretty good if you want a fresh look of how it is there. 

If you're going to make a huge change like this and want to minimise on the risk, you need to spend some time researching about it and you need some savings to sustain yourself for a few months. Since you're playing to sustain yourself, you'll probably need to have a list of part time job options before your even reach the place. With Japan its hard since most of that information is in Japanese so its hard to inquire.

For example, if you wanted to do the same thing with say, Singapore or Malaysia, it'll be way easier since English is the primary language for singapore and secondary language in Malaysia , websites are mainly in English etc. Billboards, signboard, info counters, all in english. 

You should ask yourself if you're sure it has to be that college in Japan and no where else. If it doesn't have to be there, than maybe more viable options would open up [you mentioned liking Asian culture, there's plenty of cheaper countries in Asia to live in and study [i think] than Japan, with regards to lodging, food etc also] . Finding yourself an education or work advisor will go a long way. Even if you have to pay for it a bit.

Just some suggestions, good luck.

PS: I forgot about education forums and websites, just google information about studying in japan. There's a bunch of sites, example:

http://www.studyjapan.go.jp/jp/index.html

http://www.studyjapan.go.jp/en/inj/inj03e.html [theres job info websites in japan here]

http://www.g-studyinjapan.jasso.go.jp/en/    [JASSO (Japan Student Services Organization)]

You could try emailing one of those sites, maybe someone can offer you some guidance on options.

cheers

Edited by DharmaFreedom
typo, additional info
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Find out what would you need to get a visa from that Japanese school before you do anything. You don't get a visa, you're out. And one important thing, you will never, ever be "part of the family" there, so better not get your hopes up.

Also, their educational system is shit. Primary school kids going to cram schools? GTFO, no wonder they end up killing themselves so much. 

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You'd need to contact Japanese schools and government officials to get an idea of how you can make such a move. As far as I know, Japan is quite selective in terms of only accepting very highly skilled immigrants, so you might have some trouble getting a visa. And even when you do, I hear many things about how immigrants have a very difficult time adapting and being accepted.

Furthermore, the IB program is highly intensive. I have friends who took the program between 10th and 11th grade, and they barely had time for a few extracurriculars. I'm not sure if you'll be able to earn a living wage by working if you'll be doing the IB, especially considering the added costs of IB textbooks and the like (given how intensive Japan is, I wouldn't want to consider the culture around IB cramming.)

I'd recommend you to look at other options, somewhere in the EU perhaps, if you dislike Denmark. If you're broke, I don't think it'll be very viable for you to go to Japan and establish a life there. But I don't know your circumstances, so I might be talking outta my ass.

Edited by Funyarinpa
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Come to X-pain, we welcome about everyone.

Japan is about the opposite of Denmark I think, Denmark has sparse population and few big cosmopolitan cities, whereas maybe you really belong in cosmopolitan Tokyo. While in Japan, the countryside does exist, it also has a lot more people than Denmark.

Edited by Okarin
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