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Zander's Top 3 All Ages Family Friendly VNs


Zander
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Are you sick of immersing yourself into a good story when a wayward, stiff penis drags you out of the plot and into an entirely different dimension?

Do you think H-scenes are deplorable and exemplification of how far humanity has strayed from God's original vision for mankind? Does it upset you when your virtual chaste relationship with a VN character is progressing well when you suddenly open the door on her while she is changing, without any player input?

Fear not, then, my friend, for you are not alone. Gaze upon the forthcoming list without need to fear even a single ounce of sin weighing upon your eyes.

 

1: Gaokao.Love.100.Days

"Getting a girl-friend before the National College Entrance Exam... I know it's crazy, but from today on, we will face everything together."

Have you ever wanted to experience the stress of being a Chinese high school student facing the most important exam of his life? Have you ever wanted to disappoint not only your parents in real life, but also your virtual Chinese parents when they both find out you are diddling anime girls in your spare time instead of studying? Want to experience the meta sensation of being yelled at by your parents as you are yelled at by your parents?

Boy do I have the VN for you. Feel the intense passion of a non-sexual relationship with your chosen girl, feel the platonic bonds between you and your male friends also struggling with their life-school balance, and feel the hole burning in your pocket as you struggle to make an income while buying gifts to purchase your chosen girl's affection. Who needs a good personality?

2: Lucy -The Eternity She Wished For-

If there was a robot that could laugh, cry and smile...

Does it have a soul?

In the world of Lucy -The Eternity She Wished For-, genetic ingineering has made robot anime girl slaves possible. All the better, they possess no emotions or feelings whatsoever. However, the protagonist stumbles upon an abandoned android servant; one that appears to have emotions, dreams, and feels pain just as humans do.

How will you treat Lucy? Banish her back to the dumpsite as just another robot? Treat her as an equal human? Close the game and look up fanmade H-scenes of her on Google like a degenerate? Somewhere in between?

No matter what you choose, PG-13 tears await you.

3: Crystalline

Crystalline is a comedy-centric, fantasy adventure visual novel with an intricate romance system.

It's pretty much universally accepted that Western OELVNs are superior and better written than their original Japanese counterparts, and Crystalline is no exception to that. Rather than the traditional godless trope of having a "harem" of many girls to choose from following "routes" in Asian VNs, Crystalline emphasizes Western morals and values by only offering a single female "route". 

Unsurprisingly, that single route is far more developed and intricate than routes present in "harem" games. Go on meaningful dates as you travel around a fantasy world, interacting with a host of interesting and humorous characters as you attempt to find your way back to the world you came from.

 

I look forward to hearing everyone's opinions! Thanks so much for reading!

Edited by Zander
Added the dots in Gaokao
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Oh, Crystalline! I haven't bought it yet, I think I will wait for the final release, but what you wrote sounds exactly like what I was hoping for from that title. :) For now, I have tons of things to read with "higher priority", but anything by PixelFade will be always on my radar. ^^ Ace Academy would also be a good addition to this kind of list, it's quite endearing.

Anyways, thank you very much for making this list, all-ages stuff doesn't get quite as much love as it deserves in the VN world. :3

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"Shameful disupuree!!," shouted the angry Samurais while waving their swords in a very exaggerated manner.

"Korose, korose!," shouted one of the Samurai zealots.

"D-demo, what did he do wrong senpai ;W;?," said one of the initiates.

"He did the worst kind of sin: he included chink and anglo VN's in the list, he didn't even add an untranslated game into the list!," responded the kouhai's senpai.

"B-But, why does he have to die, can't he just repent his sins by reading a Masada work?"

While the Samurais were shouting, Zander came out of the building, escorted by the one and only Emperor of all the Nihonjins: Hirohito. In a fit of rage, Hirohito pushed Zander and placed his head in the wood log, pushing it against it with his waraji, and then chanted:

"This person has commited the biggest sin: putting non-japanese titles approved by le watashi in his list, and to add insult to the matter, he added an English VN, the filthiest form of VN's (should we even call them that?) May this punishment serve as an example to all normie newfags who dwell in this forum / glorious nippon.

Then, just as he finished saying that, he raised his Katana and chopped Zander's head off, dropping a tear right as he did so.

"Today, we've lost a great warrior, he had so much potential..." said Hirohito, holding back his salty tears.

Later, Hirohito signed a peace treaty with the United States and killed himself (never forgetti.)

 

Anyways, Zander, to sum everything up, Jigaishitekudasai.

Love,

Barry B.

Edited by Barry Benson
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14 minutes ago, Plk_Lesiak said:

Oh, Crystalline! I haven't bought it yet, I think I will wait for the final release, but what you wrote sounds exactly like what I was hoping for from that title. :) For now, I have tons of things to read with "higher priority", but anything by PixelFade will be always on my radar. ^^ Ace Academy would also be a good addition to this kind of list, it's quite endearing.

Anyways, thank you very much for making this list, all-ages stuff doesn't get quite as much love as it deserves in the VN world. :3

You're very welcome, thanks so much for reading Lesiak!

Ace Academy is an awesome game as well, the fact that it had a fully platonic route, and even an ending for the "token male best friend" character, impressed me very much. PixelFade's products will always be on my radar, too. I should have noted that Crystalline is being released episodically, but even with just 3 / 5 chapters released I feel I've gotten my money's worth in laughs already. Also, the animations and general art are of exceptional quality for a western VN, in my humble opinion.

5 minutes ago, HMN said:

TL/N: jigaishitekudasai means krill urself

Thank you very much for the translation. Jigaishitekudasai to you too, Mr. Benson, for making a mockery of my hard work here.

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1 hour ago, Zander said:

Ace Academy is an awesome game as well, the fact that it had a fully platonic route, and even an ending for the "token male best friend" character, impressed me very much. PixelFade's products will always be on my radar, too. I should have noted that Crystalline is being released episodically, but even with just 3 / 5 chapters released I feel I've gotten my money's worth in laughs already. Also, the animations and general art are of exceptional quality for a western VN, in my humble opinion.

 

It probably has more platonic routes than the whole rest of the VN market combined. I've seen slight bits of erotic subtext in Valerie's route and that's pretty much it. :P

In general though, I admire how you combined obvious trolling with genuinely good recommendations, I wouldn't mind to see more. :3

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2 hours ago, Plk_Lesiak said:

It probably has more platonic routes than the whole rest of the VN market combined. I've seen slight bits of erotic subtext in Valerie's route and that's pretty much it. :P

In general though, I admire how you combined obvious trolling with genuinely good recommendations, I wouldn't mind to see more. :3

You're probably correct about that! Valerie was definitely the most direct of the bunch, but there were some hints, opportunities, and slightly suggestive scenarios in Kaori's route too. It's a shame that the ending was so abrupt and a total let-down, though. I felt like I was at the height of the story when suddenly the ending slapped me in the face. On a side note, I love how other characters got into relationships and had their own lives, in a way.

Also, look out for my new blog one of these days then, Lesiak. I'd love to have your commentary!

also i follow your blog senpai OELVNS are legit

14 minutes ago, Huang Ling Yin said:

no love for Imaimo?

I have no experience with this one, and I'd love to give it a try, but unfortunately I speak Japanese as well as your average fish can climb a tree.

The day a patch is released is the day I will start reading it though, I promise you that. 

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