Xeviax Posted December 4, 2017 Share Posted December 4, 2017 15 minutes ago, Fred the Barber said: I skipped to a random point early on in the (impressively long) youtube link, and I have to admit I'm a little disappointed, though unsurprised. The script reads fairly poorly, both in terms of line editing and copy editing. The latter is mostly an issue of punctuation: seriously, who actually thinks it's okay to leave three exclamation points on a single sentence, let alone an ellipsis followed by three exclamation points, or to end a line with "!?!"? Moreover, those aren't one-offs for particularly emotional moments; standard, somewhat angry lines seem to merit a steaming pile of punctuation. I shudder to think of how many exclamation points they're going to toss on actually emotionally impactful lines. This script badly needs to be depunctuated (except for the lines where they just plain forgot the punctuation, like "It happened there, when I walked towards the ticket gate of an almost deserted station square"). Aside from that, just looking at a hundred lines or so showed off multiple errors, like "for goodness's [sic] sake", or "Am [sic] unexpectedly cool and intellectual voice came from behind the Groucho glasses.", or the lovely comma splice plus incorrectly-hyphenated compound noun, "There wasn't the slightest smile on Groucho-glasses girl's face, it wasn't even a straight face." That said, the clunky line editing is a much bigger problem for me than the missed copy editing issues, and is sadly an even less surprising problem. I guess quality writing will continue to be the province of MangaGamer, and occasionally (but definitely not predictably) JAST and Sekai Project. I have this gut feeling it ought to be a lot easier and cheaper to find people who actually know how to write solid English prose than people who can accurately (if stiltedly) translate Japanese, but the level of work I see everywhere in VN translations is starting to convince me otherwise, and unfortunately, from what I see in the youtube demo for this game, this is looking to be a cut below what I've come to expect even from JAST or SP on their bad days. Line to line flow is nearly nonexistent, and awkward phrasing is the rule, not the exception. Bottom line: dropping my pledge, since I can't see myself actually sticking with reading it if this is the level of quality I can expect from the script. Shame, since I heard good things about the game. I'm sorry to hear that Fred. With the Kickstarter meeting its goal so quickly, we wanted to demonstrate that we're actively working on the product even before the Kickstarter was finished. The demo is not currently available due to needing another QA pass as well as an engine issue which we are currently fixing. You may be surprised who the actual staff working on the project are, and we'll be announcing that in the coming days along with the demo. I hope the final demo changes your mind because we'd hate to lose your support! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fred the Barber Posted December 4, 2017 Share Posted December 4, 2017 Just now, Xeviax said: I'm sorry to hear that Fred. With the Kickstarter meeting its goal so quickly, we wanted to demonstrate that we're actively working on the product even before the Kickstarter was finished. The demo is not currently available due to needing another QA pass as well as an engine issue which we are currently fixing. You may be surprised who the actual staff working on the project are, and we'll be announcing that in the coming days along with the demo. I hope the final demo changes your mind because we'd hate to lose your support! You'll have to forgive me for being skeptical. Product talks and bullshit walks, and the product you've demonstrated so far in that video isn't up to my standards. I'll give the demo a spin when it's out, but I don't have high hopes, so for the time being I've dropped my Kickstarter pledge down to $1. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
novurdim Posted December 4, 2017 Share Posted December 4, 2017 (edited) Even at its early stages the translation lookes a cut above the most official localizations to me but I guess even at this level it's not safe from angry tantrums, huh. Though I'll laugh when it turns out that some of the usual MG staffers work on it At the same time I, with my third grade English, am definitely not worthy of any serious translation debacle so I'll just meekly hope that the final translation will see further improvement. Edited December 4, 2017 by novurdim Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShinRaikdou Posted December 4, 2017 Share Posted December 4, 2017 (edited) Can someone spoil me endings? I want to know if they have typical time travel/isekai forced drama with separation, or MC live a happy life with a chosen girl. Edited December 4, 2017 by ShinRaikdou Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Poltroon Posted December 6, 2017 Share Posted December 6, 2017 The actual demo is out. Strangely, it seems to have an 18+ version. That seems odd, for a demo, as you'd think any such content to be further in. Well, I'll soon find out if the label is there for a reason. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yuuko Posted December 6, 2017 Share Posted December 6, 2017 It has the usual thing that many Japanese trials have that let you check some H-scenes when you start the game. (if you want to) Wouldn't be surprised if this was the whole Japanese trial translated. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xeviax Posted December 6, 2017 Share Posted December 6, 2017 2 minutes ago, Kiriririri said: It has the usual thing that many Japanese trials have that let you check some H-scenes when you start the game. (if you want to) Wouldn't be surprised if this was the whole Japanese trial translated. It is the whole trial translated! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chronopolis Posted December 7, 2017 Share Posted December 7, 2017 (edited) Took a brief look. Most of it is translated good, but there are a few mistakes in the difficult parts. But I don't think it would hurt anyone's enjoyment of the game. I'm glad they listened to feedback and improved the translation quality. Spoiler https://youtu.be/crCJ63b9EvA?t= 3924 一通り here means "go measure the room a bit" not "measure every last inch" and https://youtu.be/crCJ63b9EvA?t=7664 (two lines with mistakes, but it is of little consequence) Edited December 7, 2017 by Chronopolis Mr Poltroon 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
littleshogun Posted December 7, 2017 Share Posted December 7, 2017 Well I think the translation was pretty much good enough to understand for me, so no problem. Quite interesting that this VN have same atmosphere like Steins Gate, only it was more light even though the result of time travel was changing human history and there's many consequences for that action. As for the genre, I guess it could be categorized as charage from the first glace, but since we had Alice aka Newton as the main heroine, perhaps it would have some focus on Alice. Look forward to full version there, and good luck for the stretch goals. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Heretic Lord Posted December 8, 2017 Share Posted December 8, 2017 On 16/11/2017 at 2:28 AM, iamnoob said: WAIT NEWRIN IS GETTING TRANSLATED?! WOOOOOO Newrin has very unique eye art as well. Also.... for those who have played it... I am still traumatised by the chemist's H scene xD Could you elaborate it for me? I am... wary of Lavi after the morning encounter with her during the demo. Also, is there any other stuff I should watch out for? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bakauchuujin Posted December 8, 2017 Share Posted December 8, 2017 (edited) I haven't played it myself, but Spoiler I saw someone commenting on twitter that she uses alchemy to change her vegina for Shuuji's dick and then has sex with him. Don't know for certain though. Edit: Sorry I didn't put spoiler on Edited December 9, 2017 by bakauchuujin Chronopolis and The Heretic Lord 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Heretic Lord Posted December 8, 2017 Share Posted December 8, 2017 Just now, bakauchuujin said: I haven't played it myself, but I saw someone commenting on twitter that she uses alchemy to change her vegina for Shuuji's dick and then has sex with him. Don't know for certain though. Well that escalated quickly and into a unforeseeable direction Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iamnoob Posted December 9, 2017 Share Posted December 9, 2017 19 hours ago, bakauchuujin said: I haven't played it myself, but I saw someone commenting on twitter that she uses alchemy to change her vegina for Shuuji's dick and then has sex with him. Don't know for certain though. DON'T SPOIL YOU IDIOT I WANT PEOPLE TO BE TRAUMATIZED LIKE ME Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deniz Posted December 9, 2017 Share Posted December 9, 2017 I just finished the demo.Game seems decent.At least there are no boring heroines.Nice pick for a relatively small company. MiKandi Japan 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MiKandi Japan Posted December 20, 2017 Share Posted December 20, 2017 VN PSA: Newton's AMA reddit is now live! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kyrt Posted December 20, 2017 Share Posted December 20, 2017 On 12/3/2017 at 10:03 PM, Fred the Barber said: I'll give the demo a spin when it's out, but I don't have high hopes. Out of curiosity what did you think of the demo if you've gotten around to reading it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fred the Barber Posted December 21, 2017 Share Posted December 21, 2017 19 hours ago, kyrt said: Out of curiosity what did you think of the demo if you've gotten around to reading it. I read one complete H scene (Lavi's, chosen on a lark), and then read a bunch of the intro again on the same day the demo released. A handful of issues I saw in the youtube video were indeed fixed (there was some really terrible line about "dropping knives", IIRC, clearly literally translated idiom, that was made into something rational), but most of the issues I had still remained in the demo. I actually wrote up a lot of detailed feedback and forwarded it on to some people loosely involved with the project (turns out I have a few acquaintances there...), which was received positively, but even if the immediately-involved team benefits some from that, I still have to admit that I don't have high hopes for the end result: it seems like both the primary translator and editor are not all that experienced at English writing, and it shows in the text. People who are less critical readers should be fine with it, of course; it's about on par with at least one recent Sekai Project release... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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