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Ibitz

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • Ibitz changed the title to Magical Disarray [Adventure/Fantasy] - WIP - Demo 1.0 Released

Well, the plot description made me chuckle a few times (like "picking berries for dessert"), it might not reflect the actual story, but the phrasing made it sound super-cliched. I would leave it more vague in future (same goes to character descriptions - they spoil a lot), because things like the said berry picking and sudden appearence of "assassins" make it sound a bit silly, while also revealing a bit too much of the plot. It's better when it gives the potencial player a general feel of the story,  but details of it come as a surprise. 

But that's just a minor thing, with the amount of content described it actually looks quite ambitious. How long do you think it will be (in reading time) when you're finished? :)

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  • 2 weeks later...
On 11/11/2017 at 1:53 AM, Plk_Lesiak said:

Well, the plot description made me chuckle a few times (like "picking berries for dessert"), it might not reflect the actual story, but the phrasing made it sound super-cliched. I would leave it more vague in future (same goes to character descriptions - they spoil a lot), because things like the said berry picking and sudden appearence of "assassins" make it sound a bit silly, while also revealing a bit too much of the plot. It's better when it gives the potencial player a general feel of the story,  but details of it come as a surprise. 

But that's just a minor thing, with the amount of content described it actually looks quite ambitious. How long do you think it will be (in reading time) when you're finished? :)

Thank you for the critique on my description. I was definitely struggling with trying to make a good description for my game. I really appreciate the feedback and will try working on a better description. 

Edited by Ibitz
Don't want to list my game anymore
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  • 8 months later...
  • Ibitz changed the title to N/A

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