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I'm not trying to replicate childish speech so much as avoid using phrases that sound inappropriate for a child to use.  In fact, I lean towards replicating Japanese speech patterns where possible because that's what lolicons would expect, especially those looking to play a game in Japanese (here I translated a description for the game to list on VNDB).

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I took a short break from work on Arcana and have found myself at the next chapter with more oddities that my Japanese language ability is unable to decipher. Brief context is that somehow Caprese has finally broken free from the spell that Tombeau and Dominante put him under (which caused him to hallucinate) in an attempt to steal the Icons he has obtained, and now he wanders aimlessly through the forest trying to find a way out. Along the way he slips down a slope and is finally reunited with the fairy Primo who had been his long-time companion:

Caprese: プリモ…なんで、こんなとこに…?また、幻じゃ…?

Primo: 違うよぉ…ほんものだよぉ…

Caprese: 確かに痛かった…で、なんでここに?

Primo: あ、あのね、なんだかびゅわぁーんんってなって、どろーってなって、ぐるーんってなって、どしってなったら、ここにいたの。

My rough translation:

Caprese: Primo... why are you here...? Are you another illusion...?

Primo: Of course not... I'm the real thing!

Caprese: This really hurts though... So, why are you here?

Primo: ???... and so I wound up here.

I cannot parse most of the rest of Primo's explanation of what happened to her since either Caprese abandoned her after rescuing Grandi at the end of the battle with Marcato's forces or the Meister banished her with a spell and gave Caprese the choice to follow the Light or Darkness. Any help here? I really can't deal with stuff like this yet, it's sorta similar to the last one I asked.

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Lol. Primo is giving a very abstract descriptions of what caused her to end up "here", completely using only onomatopoeias.

W, well, I got *sfx being blown away* or something, *sfx being covered in mud*, *sfx being spun around*, and finally *sound of being pounded on the ground*, then found myself here.

I... don't think I'm going to be able to give you a concrete sentence for this one, lol.

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Ah sorry about that! Basically there's this straight-laced guy who's the MC. Something bad happens to him and along comes this girl that "comforts" him (it's a H-game). The girl says 一緒に、堕落しようね?  to him in a semi-H scene. Pretty much they're living a very unhealthy lifestyle. I hope that helps? ^^;

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It's the idea of lapsing judgement, sinning, giving into lust, falling into decadency, relapsing, getting corrupted, etc etc. She's saying let's give into the dark side together.

I'd like a few lines both ways (or even the entire conversation) to translate properly and make it flow though.

That actually helps alot ^^ thanks! now I know what to put for that line~

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Please help again... this sentence is so long, I'm having trouble translating it without it becoming a run-on sentence.

もう一人の寝ぼすけは、俺という暖房器具を引き剥がされたせいか、しばらくむずがっていたけれど、毛布をかぶるとすぐに安らかな寝息を立て始める

this line came before the one above: 俺の体は、お互いの体温で温めあっていたせいか、ベッドの外の冷たい空気が気持ちよく感じるくらいに火照っていた。

thanks again!

 

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Please help again... this sentence is so long, I'm having trouble translating it without it becoming a run-on sentence.

Just break it up into multiple sentences. And always to flip the verb-noun order. It needs to flow in English as well.

The sleepyhead squirmed a bit when she lost her heater (me). I pulled the blankets over her, and she quickly went back to her peaceful sleep (or insert sleeping metaphor here).

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Please help again... this sentence is so long, I'm having trouble translating it without it becoming a run-on sentence.

もう一人の寝ぼすけは、俺という暖房器具を引き剥がされたせいか、しばらくむずがっていたけれど、毛布をかぶるとすぐに安らかな寝息を立て始める

Ahaha, that's such a cute sentence.

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it is indeed & storytellers version has a nice flow to it, without beeing overly cryptic, unlike nearly everything which comes to the poor mind of mine, simply because i do normally prefer writing/talking in some sort of crypric manner, but yeah it sounds definitely nice & charming the way its been worded

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いきなり拡がる街の景色に視界が追いつかず、少し頭がふらつく。

* 情けなくもふらつく頭を、無理やり逆療法で立て直し、明るくなった部屋の中をゆっくりと見回す。

あいつが脱ぎ捨てたのをぶつぶつ言いつつ、俺が畳んで枕元に置いたはずの着替え。

* あいつが全然嫌がらないのを罵りつつ、俺が洗って部屋の中に干したはずの下着類。

Need help with sentences with asterisk. Thanks much for all the help m(_ _)m I actually learn quite a bit seeing how other people translate certain sentences and express certain things.

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My eyes couldn't follow the sceneries that suddenly appeared, and I staggered a bit.
Quite pathetically I forced my head up and slowly looked around the room.
There are her clothes-the ones I had folded neatly and placed them beside the pillows while complaining about how she just stripped and tossed them aside.
And there are her underwear-the ones I had washed and hanged up while snapping (at her?) about not caring (that a guy's washing her underwear).

 

Well I tried to make it sound like him missing her despite complaining earlier as much as I could.

Where's this from?

Edited by Parallel Pain
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It's WA2,

This one really needs context. He wakes up to find her not in bed next to him, goes around searching his small room, opening the curtains and being blinded (despite it being cloudy), then looking around for her clothes to find that some of it (the clothes by the pillows, one piece of underwear, and her coat) were gone, then finding her wallet? is gone. And finally coming to the conclusion that she's just gone to the convenience store.

He seems to be under the impression she (Chiaki) might up and leave him at any time.

Edited by storyteller
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It's WA2,

This one really needs context. He wakes up to find her not in bed next to him, goes around searching his small room, opening the curtains and being blinded (despite it being cloudy), then looking around for her clothes to find that some of it (the clothes by the pillows, one piece of underwear, and her coat) were gone, then finding her wallet? is gone. And finally coming to the conclusion that she's just gone to the convenience store.

He seems to be under the impression she (Chiaki) might up and leave him at any time.

wow you guessed it from a few sentences XD but yes it's from white album 2 

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It's WA2,

This one really needs context. He wakes up to find her not in bed next to him, goes around searching his small room, opening the curtains and being blinded (despite it being cloudy), then looking around for her clothes to find that some of it (the clothes by the pillows, one piece of underwear, and her coat) were gone, then finding her wallet? is gone. And finally coming to the conclusion that she's just gone to the convenience store.

He seems to be under the impression she (Chiaki) might up and leave him at any time.

I'm intrigued.

Also that makes more sense and might make my translations inaccurate. Can you give me a few lines following? I think those clothing might not actually be there.

Edited by Parallel Pain
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Yeah I was right. I thought it was weird when I was translating it, but thought it was standalone. This makes more sense. So the clothing are actually missing.

 

Her clothes are supposed to be here-the ones I had folded neatly and placed them beside the pillows while complaining about how she just stripped and tossed them aside.
And her underwear are also supposed to be here-the ones I had washed and hanged up while snapping (at her?) about not caring (that a guy's washing her underwear).

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