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The Aloha Bakery [Slice of Life]


sapphdragon

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VOTE YES ON GREENLIGHT

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“Simon Aubrey has brought a unique edge to New York seafood dining that hasn’t been since Eric Ripert took the helm at “Le Bernardin”. With the opening of “Simon the Fisherman” in Midtown Manhattan, New Yorkers now have access to what I personally consider the forefront in western cuisine. With stellar dishes like his “Kingfish Carpaccio” and his “Lobster Risoni” it looks like this Michelin-starred British chef is set to make a big mark in the New York dining scene. I am looking forward to seeing what he will come up with next.”

Lionel Peng – Editor-in-chief of “Eat New York” magazine


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With 2 Michelin stars under his wing and a restaurant that is the toast of New York high society, one could be forgiven for assuming that Simon Aubrey was on his path to becoming the next Heston Blumenthal or Gordon Ramsay. Unfortunately for him, the terrible combination of a visit by the Mayor of New York and the accidental purchase of some day-old razor clams by his sous-chef has led to his flagship restaurant, “Simon the Fisherman”, to be closed by the FDA and with that the end of his dreams of becoming America’s favourite British chef.

Struggling with depression due to the closure of his restaurant and the subsequent media backlash, Ben Kekoa, Simon’s best friend and attorney, has offered Simon the use of his luxury apartment in Waikiki, Honolulu. In Hawaii Simon befriends local Hawaiians who teach him important life lessons and change his attitude about life.



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“The Aloha Bakery” is an inspirational romantic comedy Visual Novel featuring:

* A fun and jolly burger making mini-game

* A charming, uplifting and heart-warming story

* Relaxing Ukulele based soundtrack

* Beautifully drawn sprites and CG’s

* Multiple Endings

* Early branching story (lots of replay value)


team.jpg

Writer/Director
SilverTail

Composer
Antonio Lorenzo Carino

Programmer
Carlo Antonio

Character and CG Artist
Rosurri
https://www.facebook.com/Rosuuri 
https://twitter.com/rosuuri 

Additional Art
Medina


hawaii.png

Edited by sapphdragon
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Nice character art and sadly, that's about it. I can't really imagine this kind of story to be outstanding - if professionals aren't able to write good stories in similiar setting, there's no possibility starting amateurs can produce a good one, either. I can't say I'd be fond of a main character, who's incapable of keeping his own place clean (FDA, seriously? FDA won't close a restaurant because of a couple of overdue clams, he'd be fined instead; professional chefs usually check every new supply by themselves - I'd love to know what caused him to forget about it). Stories like these are a dime and dozen; if you want to bring something fresh, or competitive, you'll have to be more original or provide something more unique.

Unless this game was meant to be either a small, low-cost budget-type vn or something you'll release for free, photomanipulated backgrounds are unacceptable; they don't even mold well with character art. The same can be said about GUI - the bottom is full of clutter and number of lines available is too big for it's proportions. Do you really need that many lines in the textbox for your script?

Can't say much bout' the minigame, but from it's glimpse in the promo vid, I can tell it's propably the most polished part of the game. No idea about the ingame soundtrack music (post some samples, perhaps), but I don't like the OP song(?), neither the lyrics, nor singing. If I'd want to enjoy the sand and water, I'd go to a real beach, preferably with friends. "Make new friends" itself sounds awkward for a stranger as well, "meet new people" would be more fitting, especially for an adult.

I hope you won't take these as an insult, but constructive criticism - I'm trying to be helpful through my experience. Your game has a chance. It simply requires a lot more polishing, if you want to achieve any sort of a success. People on Steam nowadays buy anything you shove at them; doesn't mean you shouldn't try harder. Being better than the rest is what typically distinguishes your games from games of other developers.

Would I play this? No, unless for the gal in the green bikini :makina: Not my type of story in overall, but there's a lot more people who'd propably be interested to play a vn with a laidback, charming atmosphere.

Good luck.

Edited by Narcosis
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