Moe Wars [Action, Drama, Mature Comedy, War] (Rough Draft)

[darkotakusouls]

I've been working hard on this visual novel for the past 3 years, and I was hoping to find some people to read over the rough draft. Please tell me about spelling errors, grammar errors, plot holes, I want to know everything. If you think a line should be written better, or even if you have an idea for a scene that should be added, please tell me. If you help me make the visual novel better, by finding mistakes or adding suggesting, I will add your name to the credits. I'm mainly concerned about plot holes and making sure the entire story makes sense to everyone.

I would strongly like to note that this rough draft does NOT contain the character development episodes, which aren't required for understanding the characters or the story, but they do help you understand the characters a little bit more. I have them done, but I want to re-write them to make them better.

Inside the folder you may notice a TXT document labeled, EXTRA INFO. It contains information and questions on the things that happened in the story that are not explained. I plan on adding this to the visual novel later as an unlockable "Ask Rika" mode. Please don't read it until after you read the visual novel, it contains spoilers.

Summary: Devil Corp is holding a set of sexy tournaments to show off their newest armor, REN. When equipped, a user can spawn weapons, change clothes, and even defy death itself. But not everyone in the universe is happy with Devil Corp’s newest product. Highvote, a nation with an extreme democracy, has voted to end everyone’s fun. To make things worse, Nicole is going berserk, and there doesn’t seem to be any way to stop her. Could she have found a glitch in the armor’s programming, or could there be something bigger going on? Either way, the REN users aren’t just going to sit around and have their freedom taken away without a fight.

Word Count: 65,000~

This visual novel is rated +16
Please do not read this visual novel if you are under the age of 16.

This visual novel contains

- Blood and Gore
- Censored Nipples
- Intense Violence
- Mature Humor
- Partial Nudity
- Sexual Violence
- Strong Language
- Strong Sexual Comedy
- Use of Alcohol

Download: http://www.mediafire.com/download/ukj76bqdni5uu7s/MW-MAINVN_ROUGHDRAFT-1.1-all.zip

For more information please check out the Moe Wars game blog: http://moewars.com/blog/

Also you can easily get in contact with me on the Moe Wars forum: http://moewars.icyboards.net/
or by visiting our Discord channel.

I know that it may take some people a few months to read it since it's a very long story. It would mean a lot to me if you simply posted if you plan on reading it, so I don't have to look at an empty thread for 3 months in depression wondering if anyone is actually reading it or not.

Screenshots

 

Edited January 10, 2017 by darkotakusouls