bomhat Posted March 13, 2016 Share Posted March 13, 2016 Hello, I'm new to this forum so if this isn't the right place to post this let me know. So I'm working on a visual novel story: Set in modern England, Cain Blanchard is a smart-aleck 15 year old who, after enrolling in a school specializing in the arts of sorcery, finds himself caught in a game triggered every 500 years by the birth of the phoenix. Ignis Avis Venatio is a fight to the death competition between students and their familiars. The winner of the game obtains the phoenix’s powers. On top of choosing who to date and who to kill, Cain must make the crucial decision of whether the phoenix’s power will be used in benevolence or for destruction. characters: For anyone interested in this project you can check out our development progress here: http://project-iav.tumblr.com/ It's also in the middle of being funded: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/743136579/visual-novel-ignis-avis-venatio/description , so if you have the time we'd greatly appreciate it. I'd love to hear what anyone thinks of the project so far. Thank you! Templarseeker, Arcadeotic, Deep Blue and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zodai Posted March 13, 2016 Share Posted March 13, 2016 The art is good, but the writing as shown in the KS videos doesn't come up to par by comparison - the pacing and tone feels like an exposition dump, to put it bluntly, on both the actual exposition dump and on the important scene. I'd suggest getting an editor and seeing if you can improve on it as soon as you can. That said, I wish you the best of luck o/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mugi Posted March 13, 2016 Share Posted March 13, 2016 The writing, as stated above, doesn't look that promising. However, the plot does sound interesting, and the art is absolutely beautiful. I wish you luck, just make sure it isn't another "No One But You". I'll keep my eyes on this Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dergonu Posted March 14, 2016 Share Posted March 14, 2016 It looks really good. Best of luck on your project! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ioruko Posted March 14, 2016 Share Posted March 14, 2016 Very nice art, CG looks great and animation of special effects is so shiny Looks like an interesting setting, although reminds me of other titles like Fate (a war between mages for a sacred item etc.) but I hope your project will develop into something completely unique! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Templarseeker Posted March 15, 2016 Share Posted March 15, 2016 Pretty nice and gorgeous art! Looks pretty lively! The title also seems very eye-catching as well! Although the storyline somehow appears to be dull and lacks some certain originality, more like a mere reproduction of a existing work such as Fate/Stay Night or something similar. if you wish to incorporate some ideas or concepts of similar works. At least make it less obvious as possible and add other elements which would make it stand out, having a identity of its own, making it unique on the same time... Anyways with all that said like what the others pointed out, you really need to do something about the writing and storyline as a whole. However your visual novel has the potential to be a great title due to the pretty neat CGs and Artworks alone. Nevertheless I wish you all the best and good luck on your project, hopefully it reaches its goal in time and be fully funded... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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