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Taylor'd to Perfection: The Tay Story (Introduction)


solidbatman

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Preface: For those of you who don't know, I, solidbatman, chronicle the various peoples of Fuwanovel, detailing their life story, and giving insight into just the kind of person they are. To read past entries, I urge you to read OriginalRen: An Original Biography and Professor Rooke. For those of you curious enough about me, I do detail some of my adventures here.

 

Introduction: Today, my fellow readers, I seek to answer your questions regarding one of the more mysterious figures here at Fuwanovel. Some say he isn't real, that he is simply a spirit sent from Japan to tease the West with VNs. Others say he is a communist sleeper agent, set on turning otakus into Marxists to lead the People's Revolution. And still others say he is a med student who got bitched out by a just Colombian doctor when he attempted to commandeer his ornately decorated office. I'm here to tell you, Tay is real. As real as the dirt beneath your feet, but not as real as firecat's ability to predict the future. Let us, together, go down the road that is Tay's past. Enter, the untold Tay Story.

Tay was born in 1321 in the great salt flats of Utah. For an adult, living in the salt flats of Utah is a feat, but for a baby, it is basically a death sentence. Baby Tay defied the odds, not only surviving the salt flats, but thriving in them. The salt fueled him, gave him strength and power. When he emerged from the salt flats in 1322, he was a 7 foot tall hunk of a baby. Despite appearing god-like, with a finely sculpted body (that Michelangelo would later attempt to immortalize in his Statue of David), 7 foot baby Tay did not know how to live among others. So for 691 years, Tay remained in hiding, only venturing out to find new reading materials. One day, after traversing the Pacific Ocean, Tay came upon a mythical land, known as Japan. Perhaps it was Fate that led him to this moment. When he returned home, Tay knew what he had to do. 

At the same time, ɐıןɐɹʇsnɐ uı, a young woman, who too had been touched (appropriately) by Japan, began work on a temple that she called Fuwanovel. Fuwanovel, at the time was ugly, and in need of great help. Tay, with his supernatural hearing, heard about Fuwanovel, and quickly ran to ɐıןɐɹʇsnɐ to help. This, is when Tay became the being we speak legend of today. 

One day in ɐıןɐɹʇsnɐ, Tay came upon a group of girls. One was missing her legs, another her arms, another was just annoying as fuck, and the other was also annoying as fuck but didn't talk but was somehow even more annoying than the one that did talk. Tay was moved by this, (the author of this biography would like to note that, regarding himself, he was not moved by this and thought this was shit.) and decided to become a doktor to help those stupid ass girls. To do this though, he had to go through many trials. Among them, an attack from Gangamamer and the Pulltop Yakuza (which will be detailed in the prequel entry to this at a later date). Tay's soul was drained, but he continued marching on, even as he was abandoned by those around him. He doktor'd Fuwanovel into good health, and replaced the old, creaking parts with new, broken as fuck creaking parts. But someone, somewhere was lurking, waiting for their moment to strike. This strike, would shake the foundations of Fuwanovel to its core, and leave it in ruins. Would 7 foot baby Tay rise up to the challenge? Or would he fall into despair? Or would he just say fuck it and quit like another Fuwa Leader did? Find out next time!

Edited by solidbatman
Men cant be men and babies at the same time
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lol,where i can read the pultop yakuza event ?

We don't speak of this event anymore. The reason OriginalRun needs to abandon the site on occasion isn't due to issues in his personal life or around the site, but rather the constant need to stay hidden. Do you honestly believe there was any reason for him to return home to the US so soon?

On a side note, I notice that the capitalization of the word "Fate" was intentional.

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